I've been tormented by a certain issue for a long time now. I'd like to think I've concocted a workable means of solving it. It would be nice if it caught on... spread the word, if you're so inclined.
The Doctor was in a mood to impress his companion a little. But only a little, for now. Not a lot. So he took a moment to settle on an appropriate fragment of information.
"Seldom known fact…" he began, quite casually (as he usually began). "Time Lords are so advanced that their very concept of numbers expanded long ago to include an extra digit between eight and nine."
His companion lit up with an appropriate fragment of curiosity. "There's a number between eight and nine?"
"Certainly," said the Doctor. "Well, to a Time Lord there is. So, for example, a human being's thirteen is a Time Lord's twelve."
The companion mulled it over a little, contemplating the characteristic, comical complexity of the Doctor's world view. "Well what's this mystery number called?"
Word association invited memories into the Doctor's mind, a few fish snatched from a vast ocean. "The closest approximate translation in your language would be 'War,'" he replied.
"War?"
"Yes, war." The Doctor paused briefly, his eyes dancing across an empty point in space as his humor grew a bit bitter. "Conflict, numerically expressed in its purest form, exists between eight and nine."
"War is a number," said the companion, as though parroting a bit of dry satire.
"Everything's a number when you get to looking at it the right way. Time Lords just made it simple." The Doctor's fingers deftly twitched, other plans already forming in his crowded old brain. "I could tell you where the number for dreams is, if you like. Or despair. Or life, or death. Everything has a number." Hands began to brush across levers and switches, idly setting into motion activity which might move them beyond this particular conversation.
The companion subconsciously noticed the visual cues and tightened a grip on the nearest anchor. The ride would get rough now, sure as clockwork. "Well is there a number for peace?"
A toggle fell with the finality of a given answer.
"Peace is zero."