Wrote this 'cause I just wasn't having a good day and I was feeling all angsty and stuff. Hope you like it.
The Doctor looked at the bottom of his now empty glass of Scotch. He thought about his companions. It always took him such a long time to get them to finally come with him and then they were gone in the blink of an eye, Amy and Rory literally.
Clara had been the hardest and the most recent. It took him three tries to finally get her to come with him and then she was gone in a flash of light.
The Doctor closed his eyes and tried to block out the pain of his two broken hearts. Instead, Clara's face swam behind her eyelids, breaking his hearts just a little more. He wondered if one day he's understand why Clara's death felt different than the others. But he did understand why, he just didn't want to admit it to himself that the pain he felt was similar to the pain he had felt when he lost Rose and River. The only difference was he ended up being able to tell Rose how he felt and he had married River. He never told Clara he loved her and now he never would.
Everywhere he went, somebody died. He quickly pushed himself away from the bar. He stuck his hands in his pockets and walked out.
The Doctor laid on his bed and stared up at the pitch black ceiling. His hearts didn't feel broken anymore. Now they just felt empty. Like there was nothing left in the universe they cared about anymore.
It took him so long to fall in love with Clara. Or at least admit he was in love with her. He was skeptical at first because he didn't know how she existed, but even before Trenzalore, he had noticed he had started looking at her differently and jumping ahead to Wednesdays.
The Doctor finally fell asleep, hoping that he would be able to forget for a while, but his dreams were full of her. She was always just out of reach. Always one step ahead. He could only watch her from a distance.
He woke up and rubbed his face tiredly. He had loved her so much and he hadn't told her. He had fallen too deep and it had hurt him. He smiled at the picture of him and Clara hanging on his wall because it was worth it.
But he had promised to keep her safe, and he let her go.
The Doctor leaned forward and started to cry.