Love and laugh like there's no tomorrow
Time to just kick back, relax, love and have a laugh were few and far between sometimes when you worked for Torchwood – that made them all the more precious. Ianto Jones reckoned that probably not many people his age lived for and appreciated the moment in quite the way he did; in your twenties you probably thought you had all the time in the world. Ianto knew the stark reality of how easily a life could end and that precious moments were grabbed with both hands and cherished – you made the most of them.
He couldn't believe his luck – not just a few moments but a whole evening and everything was quiet and looked to stay that way. You really couldn't underestimate the stress relieving capabilities of sex and laughter Ianto thought…rather like dark chocolate…they raised that feel good factor in your brain…and other parts. A meal out at an Italian restaurant with Jack turned into a rather infantile but highly amusing competition to eat their food as lasciviously as possible without letting other diners know what they were doing. How either of them got through the meal Ianto wasn't sure – personally he had ended up red in the face and his sides ached with trying to repress laughter for so long and rather tight jeans due to a bad bout of lust. Jack had nearly completely lost his cool by virtually begging that they should go to the loos for a quickie because he was getting so desperate….but Ianto reigned in his own lustful feelings and coolly informed him that under the rules of the competition, Jack had just lost. It might seem cruel but sometimes a frustrated and defeated Jack was very funny to see….
There was a lot of innuendo on the walk home – almost game playing to be smutty and make each other hot without actually being crude. A witty remark, a rolling of eyes in reply which occasionally resulted in a smack on the arm or a playful shove; Ianto loved it when they were off duty and could just relax and be silly. Then a soppy moment as they neared the flat, slowing to a halt in the drizzle and a joint acknowledgement of a nice evening out, a smile and a rather sweet kiss before they headed indoors.
Sex and laughter continued. Jack decided it would be funny to 'get' Ianto with a canister of squirty cream, knocking him flying on to the bed as he shook the canister and took aim while he held him down. Ianto wriggled and struggled and let out an almost strangled scream, to which Jack then laughed and told him he screamed like a big girl. "Harkness, you haven't just had cold cream squirted down the crack of your arse, you bastard!" Ianto had walloped him in pretend indignation as he wrestled the canister from him, "Sir, you are so getting it back and some!" Unrestrained laughter followed as they tried to dodge, grabbing, holding each other down as they wrestled on the bed; the canister was grabbed back and forth squirting cream in hair, over faces and genitals…resulting in a blissfully laidback and slow sixty nine as they licked, sucked and occasionally moaned at each other for what seemed like an age.
Then Ianto decided to treat Jack to more of the power of his tongue and had insisted he lie still while he licked him from his toes upwards. Laughter broke out again as Ianto hoisted Jack's legs up so he could lick the back of his thighs; the great Captain Jack Harkness frantically wriggled and laughed and yes even made what could be described as squealing noises while Ianto silently chuckled to himself. Ianto always enjoyed moments when he could make his boss whimper in distracted lust-addled submission – "No, Yan, no…please….fuuuuuuuck that tickles! No, no stop that with the tip of your tongue…where the hell are you going now?….No, no I take it back! Oh god yeah! Don't stop, for fuck's sake don't stop baby!" Finally enough teasing and the release of pure hard sex, bodies thrusting, fingers grabbing, voices urgent and panting, initiated with a searing look in Jack's eyes, the brutal words spat at Ianto in a low hiss, "Fuck me…" Ianto ultimately came so hard and fast that he nearly saw stars and he wallowed in and rode the moment as long as he could, half aware that from Jack's movements and soft groan that he felt something similar.
Almost bashful Jack had ruffled his hair and grinned. Ianto always thought that the immortal looked quite cute and boyish as he lay their panting and sated with shining eyes glowing up at him. Satisfied sighs, a look of understanding between them, a complaint from Jack about a sticky stomach and the tidy-to-a fault Ianto had licked him clean before a couple of deep kisses were exchanged. Slight grumbling as tired bodies shifted to lie next to each other. "Night Jack," "Night, Yan." A slight nuzzling of faces and then the peace of sleep….
The peace of sleep ended for Ianto about four hours later. It was a peaceful night, still dark, Jack was asleep, face scrunched in a pillow and with one arm around Ianto's waist….but Ianto was suddenly a member of the wide awake club. He hadn't been woken by a dream or nightmare and his brain wasn't whirring with thoughts…and well usually a couple of drinks with a meal and sex were enough to put Ianto out for the count until he walloped his alarm clock at six thirty…but not tonight.
Ianto made a conscious decision to try not to stress it, to relax and completely clear his head to try and rest. Half an hour later he was still wide awake and fidgeting a little which was halted when a fast asleep Jack Harkness rolled over to throw a hip and leg across him, an action which rather pinned him to the bed. Jack's body tucked into his own was usually a good thing…except when Ianto couldn't sleep…and actually for a change the weight of him was rather uncomfortable. No good, got to get out of bed. Ianto tried to wriggle out sideways and Jack didn't wake properly but grunted and mumbled something incomprehensible. As he slid gently out of bed, Ianto kissed his forehead, "Sssh, Jack…go to sleep…"
Once out of bed Ianto felt the chill of his flat so he hurriedly put on his discarded boxers that were lying on the rug and the equally discarded Ralph Lauren polo shirt that had been slung over the top of the wardrobe door. Ianto clocked a lone boot of Jack's sitting on the bedside table and his underwear was strewn over the back of a chair. Ianto glanced back at his sleeping lover for a moment – god, what are we like…the shag bunnies who can't get our clothes off quick enough. He smiled fondly and then slouched towards the kitchen. Ianto flicked on the kitchen light which nearly made him wince at what felt like bright glare. He crossed to the fridge and took out the milk, drinking it straight from the carton.
What to do, what to do. Anything much on the TV? – What, at this hour? – Unlikely. Read? – Don't feel like it. Go out for a walk? – No it's bloody raining, not an option. Go back to bed and suck Jack off? – Possible, definitely a possible but not just yet. So…? Ianto gave a stretch and after flicking off the kitchen light he ambled to across to the living room window. Another hour and it would start to get light but for now it was just very still and very dark. Although he was used to working all night Ianto still felt this particular time of night in the hour before dawn, and more so the inability to sleep, disconcerting.
Just enjoy the peace, he told himself. This flat of yours is paid for and is comfortable and homely enough and you don't have any money worries like most people, thanks to the very generous salary from the Crown for Torchwood operatives risking their lives. You're not quite sure what it is you have with Jack and you sometimes play it down but you feel like there's a deep connection there that you're beginning to feel is something like love. Hey kiddo, you're alive and you're lucky…
Ianto breathed in deeply and let his breath out slowly while he gazed outside. He noticed little details that he normally was too busy to notice like the street lights reflecting in puddles and the god-awful colour that Number Six had decided to paint the front of their house recently. A slight breeze seemed to move past him and made him shiver – had he left a window ajar?
"Its quiet isn't it…" the voice was barely a whisper.
Ianto almost spun round, eyes searching frantically. He would know Lisa's voice anywhere. He almost felt his heart thud slower in his chest.
"Lisa?" Why am I am even saying her name? – For fuck's sake get a grip, she's dead! It's the middle of the night and you're imagining things you idiot…
"I'm really proud of you Ianto," again the unmistakable voice.
Ianto shivered again like someone had just walked over his grave. The words came out before he thought about them, "This is madness…"
There was nothing, no one in the room but he couldn't escape a rather eerie feeling that there was a presence with him.
"You've done really well, a real hero, "Lisa's voice quietly continued, "But it's such a pity that so few people know. He's brought the old you back out though…the strong brave Ianto I remember. Your Jack's been good for you. And he loves you."
"Does he?" Ianto mumbled. Oh god, I've completely lost the plot now. My dead girlfriend is telling me that my boyfriend loves me…..oh is this is fucking bizarre or what? – God Jones, was there something in your wine earlier this evening?
"Jack Harkness loves you more than you could imagine, more than he knows or wants to admit, "Lisa's voice rippled like a breeze.
Ianto bit back the urge to ask if she was jealous, "Does he?"
"Like you love him Ianto, " Lisa's voice actually seemed calming now, "Oh he may bark orders and play the big boss and be a bit of a bastard on occasion…but you're the only person who treats him just as a man, faults and all, not some hero figure. Only you get to see the real Jack and he knows he doesn't have to fake anything with you. And with him you've got your old confidence back…the quietly funny sexy Ianto Jones I remember….even if he is a bit anally retentive about cleaning and tidying up…"
Ianto smiled, almost had to restrain laughter, "Yes Lise that would definitely be me."
A slight ripple of girlish laughter he remembered so well and loved her for and then silence for a moment.
"Make the most of it Ianto," he caught a definite wistful tone in her words, almost sad.
"What do you mean?"
"Just make the most of it"
"What are you…."
"Enjoy these moments. Live and laugh and love your Jack while you can."
A sudden chill crept up Ianto's spine and in that instant he knew. It was one of the strangest and yet most definite feelings he had had in his life. He knew like nothing else that his days were numbered.
"Lisa, how long?" he hissed quietly.
"Make the most of it. Goodbye Ianto, take care love…"
"Lisa! Lisa!" Ianto hissed, although he knew, could feel that the presence, the voice was gone already.
It took him a moment to realise that he was shaking, that his eyes were welling with tears. It was completely ridiculous, unreal, his dead girlfriend coming to say, to warn him that he was going to die in the not to distant future? But Ianto knew by the feeling in the pit of his stomach, a slight heaviness in his heart that it was so. He took a steadying breath. Hey, Torchwood operatives rarely, if ever, got to draw their pensions…he knew that, he knew what he had signed up for…it wasn't exactly a big surprise. Another deep breath – come on, he told himself, calm yourself and man up Jones, and now even more so you have to live for the moment…
Sudden weariness washed over him and Ianto slouched back to the bedroom, pulling off his polo shirt as he went. He slipped quietly under the duvet and against Jack's sleeping body relishing the warmth and smell of him. He threw an arm across his stomach and squeezed him slightly, remembering Lisa's words. Ianto swallowed hard to push down the tears that were threatening….god, she was right, how could she know…but she was right about them….they didn't say it but he and Jack did love each other so very much…
A sigh as he kissed the side of his lover's head. Live and love and laugh Ianto Jones, like there's no tomorrow…..
FIN