A.N. Hello! Back with yet another 'Why did you even begin to write this?' fic that I'm hoping grows on you enough for you to enjoy somewhat. As I am primarily a Dark!Blaine writer, it is a step in an odd direction, though Blaine really is a jerk. I find it hard to write him any differently. For anyone who is disappointed that this is less of a dark story, you'll be pleased to know I have been writing more sinister fics but I'm just not entirely happy with them to post yet. Hopefully soon. However, I am glad to have a chance to write a lighter side of dark - one might even say comical! - with a Kurt who is more than a match for Blaine most of the time. I'm hoping to have it completed in around 7 chapters, first 3 already written, but I will make no promises. I tend to break promises when it comes to Fan Fiction...

Here is a fuller summery:

Jude Asher and Dorian are the pride of Darcy's Secret - a gay porn film studio - and are on their way worldwide success. Or, at least they would be if Kurt and Blaine, the men behind the stage names, could stand to be in the same room as each other, never mind perform together as their adoring public demands. Their director has no choice but to order a period of joint isolation in a peaceful setting for them to get over their differences and find a way to work together. A good idea with disastrous consequences, however. Prepare for bullying, nakedness, secrets, and one actor's past threatening to destroy his career if he doesn't do as he's told.

Genre is mostly light-hearted, built on humor and reluctant romance, with some concerning drama in final chapters when dark!Sebastian has a brief appearance. Nothing my past readers would even blink at.

Warning (Less than usual but I'll list anyway): Profanity, descriptive sexual scenes (oddly enough, only two that are 'adult film' related, the others are normal for my Klaine fics), violence/sexual violence later in a flashback scene, mature themes.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything yada-yada, characters and Glee world belong to the series creators and distributors and I'm sure they care not that I use their characters in my own twisted plots. I hope.

Please enjoy!

Behind the Camera

Blue eyes stretched wide to gaze upwards into pools of swirling hazel. A small gasp escaped from rosy lips kissed dark and pouting. Hands gripped tight and a thrust forward elicited a shameful moan from the slighter of the two young men.

Kurt let his head fall back and his lids close over briefly, an expression of pure pleasure, before forcing himself forward again to meet those eyes once more. Eye contact, Kurt, remember... The air was hot and steamy. Their bodies were shiny from freshly-formed sweat, but the scent of honeysuckle was overpowering. Kurt let the sweetness overwhelm his senses. The other male holding him fast was watching his face with a twinkle in his gaze. A tug inside of Kurt's gut was difficult to ignore but he managed it as he wrapped his long legs around the other's waist and met the next thrust with vigour. 'Ah – yes! More, please-!'

The twenty-two-year-old dipped his head into the crook of Kurt's neck in a show of passion, though Kurt knew it was to hide the smirk that had formed at hearing the pleas. Deliberately, Kurt dragged his fingers from the mess of black hair they were currently embedded in to dig his nails hard into the other's neck in response. To his satisfaction, he heard the man whisper a harsh curse into his ear. As if to punish him, the dick that was in the middle of pulling out of Kurt's ass slammed back inside in a violent flash. Kurt let out a real gasp this time as pain caught him off-guard. In his surprise, he let go of the other man's body and his partner jerked backwards a few inches. Back to normal, Kurt, get back on the well-hung horse before-

Smack!

'Ow!' Both actors cried out as their foreheads knocked together.

'Geez, fucking moron, you almost broke my nose!' Blaine accused with a glare, nursing the reddened spot on his head before shoving Kurt down against the bed.

Kurt flushed, feeling just as furious but also very uncomfortable with the other male still very much inside him. He pushed Blaine off with his sweaty hands and felt the cock slide out and stab his abdomen. 'It was your fault, idiot, what were you thinking – that hurt!' He was, of course, referring to the particularly unfair thrust from moments before. 'You know you can't do that – and don't play the blame game, you head-butted me!'

'Guys – guys!' Roger, the director of the shoot, tried to intervene but it took several attempts to have himself heard.

'You had your fucking nails in my fucking neck, princess-'

'You were laughing at me-'

'Yeah, 'cause you sounded like a two dollar whore-'

'I'm not even surprised you know what a two dollar whore sounds like-'

'Guys!' Roger shouted out, going red in the face as he glanced around the set. There were too many people currently standing in place, doing their respective jobs, looking awkward at the exchange between the X-rated movie stars. 'Enough! That's it for today – get dressed. We're done.' When the actors started to argue by trying to assign blame, the older man snapped louder. 'We're done!' And he stormed off set.

Glaring naked daggers at one another as they sat up on the bed, the young men reached for their respective clothes that only ten minutes earlier had been torn off in an over-dramatic display of animalistic desire.

Walking down the corridor towards his dressing room, Kurt Hummel – or rather, Jude Asher as he was better known in the homoerotic world of gay pornography – took confident steps as he passed room after room of couples (or groups) engaged in some type of sexual affair. Cameras were rolling, and lights were both dimmed and multicoloured. Only a couple of years ago, an under-aged Kurt would have buckled at the knees at seeing such scenes, but times had changed. Kurt was in the number one spot, actor-wise, in the very successful company and distributor known as Darcy's Secret. As such, Kurt was among the top earners and stake holders. Untouchable except through role-play. Unfortunately, he currently shared that top spot with a lesser deserving counterpart, but the less his mind dwelled on Blaine the better.

Blaine Anderson...what an asshole! It was hard for Kurt to not think of Blaine once the mental insults started. The slightly older actor was the bane of his existence; a human embodiment of all the things that Kurt hated. Reliance on looks – check. Condescending and belittling attitude towards everyone – check and double check. Utter arrogance and self-entitlement – Blaine won it all. Even his stage name was ugly: Dorian. That's it; just Dorian. No second name. Why would he need a second name? He didn't need more than one to shove in people's faces. Not to mention that he had chosen a name shared with a well-known fictional character who was stunningly beautiful but with an inner evil and arrogance that poisoned his soul. In Kurt's eyes, that was perhaps well suited. Blaine had been the company's bestselling face since the guy had joined at age eighteen. He had enjoyed nearly three years stealing the limelight and trampling over others until Kurt's spiking popularity in their first collaboration. Since then, Blaine had shown nothing but contempt for him. And in a way, Kurt was glad.

A note was pinned on his dressing room door:

Come to my office when you're decent.

-Roger

Sighing and rubbing his eyes, Kurt tore down the sign and prepared himself for the rap on the knuckles that was coming his way.

Twenty minutes later, a freshly showered and impeccably dressed Kurt knocked before entering his director's office. He was not surprised to find Blaine there, too, feet up on Roger's desk and looking thoroughly pissed off for being there. 'Ah, Kurt, come take a seat.' Roger motioned him inside. 'Let's talk about today.'

'We don't need to talk,' Blaine cut in, placing his hand on the nearby seat as if to prevent Kurt from sitting down. 'I told you: it was a poor move putting us together. Anyone else – seriously, put me with anyone else and you'll get gold. But with him all you'll get is kids play.'

Swallowing down his fury, Kurt yanked the seat out of his reach and sat down. Blaine rolled his eyes. 'I wasn't the problem today. He,' Kurt jerked his head over in Blaine's direction, 'was the one who was being unprofessional. He was laughing at me and he almost tore me, moving so fast.'

At this, Blaine gave the smallest of proud smirks. 'It's not my problem your wimp ass can't fit my cock,' He said so quietly that there was a good chance Roger did not hear, causing Kurt to grow even more angry. Before the younger man could snap back, Blaine cleared his throat and addressed their director. 'You were there, Rodge. You heard him. It was so corny. 'Ah, yes, more!',' Kurt flushed, 'It was cringe worthy.'

Roger put up a hand to silence his actors, a deep frown set on his face. 'Blaine, I had no issues with Kurt's acting and you were immature trying to make fun of his work. Kurt, if you have a problem with something then you wait for the next break cue and then we can address it, you don't try to gain the upper hand. Not in a sex scene where the dynamics have already been agreed upon. This whole revenge scheme you both have going stops now.'

Kurt felt like he was back at school getting into trouble for something someone else did. It was a mixture of guilt, embarrassment and need for justice. Nevertheless, he kept his tongue from lashing out. Roger was a nice guy and one of the few Kurt genuinely liked working with, he didn't want to risk losing him as a director when the vast majority of other Darcy's Secret directors were assholes. Blaine, however, went on. 'I've said so many times, we just don't work together.' He waved a casual hand at Kurt. 'Why do you keep trying to force something? Pair me with Sebastian again. That scene would work so well with us!'

Kurt recoiled a bit at the mention of another actor's name, but he thankfully went unnoticed. Roger's lips formed a severe line as he reached down and pulled up a cardboard box with the words 'Fan Mail' scrawled along its lid. 'The paying customers don't want to see you and Sebastian together again, Blaine. They have over twenty movies of you two to choose from already. They want Jude Asher and Dorian.' He began plucking letters out of the box and flicking them towards the actors. 'Jude and Dorian.' He flicked another. 'Dorian and Jude.' Another. ''Give us more Dorian fucking Jude's lights out before we lose interest and take our porn money elsewhere' – that's what they'll do if they think we aren't listening.' Kurt blinked. A quick glance over the fan mail confirmed Roger's words, though it still baffled him to know what the viewer wanted. Blaine seemed less surprised. Asshole probably takes time out of his day to catch up on ego-inflating fan mail so this isn't news to him. Roger sighed again and shrugged. 'Guys, you know I don't want to force you. I couldn't force you even if I wanted to. But at the start of the year you signed a new contract with a huge pay rise each, and in turn you agreed to commit to every project we felt you were right for. That means finding a way of working with each other. Getting through just one scene and making it as believable as the others. If you can't do that then I can't protect your job when the real bosses come knocking with their palms open for the long-awaited Dorian and Jude Asher flick.'

Kurt felt like he had been slapped in the face. Could he really lose his job over this? He had thought it so unlikely, seeing as he was one of the pillars of this company now. And Blaine? He had been here longer, and his fan base was considerably larger than anyone else's. Would they really cut him off?

'I make those guys too much money for them to terminate my contract.' Blaine said in a low and restrained voice, though Kurt could tell he too was concerned at this new development. 'You know I'm getting offers from other companies. Wayward are literally begging for me to jump ship every single day. I don't want to leave Darcy's Secret but you know I have options.'

Roger nodded. 'I am aware of all of that,' Kurt gulped. Wayward, as in Wayward Productions? Darcy's Secret's biggest rival is after Blaine, making him offers daily? As far as Kurt knew, he wasn't getting any offers yet. Perhaps he wasn't in the strong position he thought he was? 'And believe me,' Roger continued, 'I have so much fun working with you both individually but unless you create something we can distribute I will have no ground to stand on when I try and defend your employment. I'm asking you – begging you – to help me solve this problem.'

That brought on silence. Kurt bit his lip anxiously. Having just purchased his first real home – one that was clean, furnished and something to be proud of at his young age – he could not afford to lose out on his generous salary. Not now, and definitely not on an issue involving Blaine. However, Blaine was not in a similar cramped position – what if he downright refused to be bullied in this way? Would that mean instant dismissal for both of them? Fearful, Kurt glanced over at the man who he loathed on a good day. Blaine was pissed off, that much was obvious. But he then nodded. 'And pray tell, Roger, how do you propose we solve this...problem?' A poorly hidden jerk of a head towards Kurt gave no doubt as to whom Blaine believed the 'problem' to be.

Roger smiled faintly. 'I have one thing we can try. How do you feel about taking a little vacation time?'

Cutting the engine off, Kurt pressed his hands against the steering wheel and took a deep breath to help ease away his irritation. In front of his car sat the glorious Casa de Rodge – a modern Tuscan luxury villa which had found itself perched within the hideaway hills about two hours from Los Angeles. Rodger had purchased the place for over a million dollars a few years ago to be both his holiday home and part-time porn set. Kurt had seen all five movies which had been filmed on the premise and had been aware of how stunning it was, but had not yet been invited there personally until now.

Kurt readjusted his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose before stepping out of the car. Two weeks vacation. Here. In the sunny paradise of expensive tranquility. This should be a dream come true. If only he weren't here... The 'he' Kurt was referring to was pulling up behind him in a flashy-yet-impractical convertible. Blaine brought his vehicle right up behind Kurt's, causing the younger male to tense up and rush to the trunk as if to stop the cars clashing. He caught the smirk on Blaine's face as he revved the engine forward and stopped a mere half-inch from touching Kurt's unassuming Honda.

'Get your heap of junk away from my car!' Kurt shouted over the loud revving.

Blaine took the key from the ignition – angering Kurt further when he realised Blaine had trapped his car against the property gate – and hopped over his door to stand next to him. 'That 'heap of junk' is worth more than your home, princess,' He retorted, running his hand down the slick red hood.

Rolling his eyes, Kurt turned to storm away through the gates towards the front door. 'A Cadillac-wannabe on its last ounce of oil and life – I'd be surprised if it was worth a hundred dollars.'

Unbeknownst to him, Blaine's smirk vanished and he looked back at his car for a moment before following after Kurt. 'It's a fully-restored 1964 Cadillac Eldorado, kid. Not that you'd understand what that means-'

'I know exactly what that means: over-priced, prone to over-heating, corrosion, non-durable interior, gas-guzzling tank of nostalgic crap.' Kurt shot back over his shoulder, feeling a small sense of achievement at catching a glimpse of fury in those hazel eyes. That's right, bitch, my dad taught this twink about automobiles. 'And if it dares even touch my car, I'll skin you alive.'

Before Blaine could issue a reply, the main door to the villa opened and Rodger poked his head out. 'Ah, I thought I could hear arguing.' He smiled, opening the large door further to invite his actors inside. 'Glad you both made it. So, the kitchen is fully stocked, the beds are made, everything is running fine and the weather report promises sunshine, so you guys can relax and-'

'This isn't going to work.' Kurt cut in with a wince. Rodger paused and stared. 'I know we said we'd do it but-'

'We couldn't make it to the front door without him starting something.' Blaine finished, earning an Excuse me? look from Kurt. Blaine ignored him. 'There's no way we'll survive a day up here on our own, never mind two weeks. We'll work harder in the studio, okay? You won't have any more problems with us working together if it means not going through with this.' That was at least something Kurt could agree with, so he nodded.

Rodger sighed and shook his head. 'I've talked it over with the bosses, boys. This retreat isn't for you to become friends, it's for you both to get used to each other and deal with your differences in a healthy way. You need this time away from the hustle and bustle of the job to do that. Besides, it's a paid vacation: you turn it down now and it'll seem like an insult to the company.'

Not liking the sound of that, Kurt bit his lip and looked over to Blaine, who had his hands on his hips and a defeated expression on his face. Well, I guess that's my fate sealed. Rodger took their car keys and left to retrieve their luggage, encouraging his actors to explore the house and see what they now had at their disposal. Without a word spoken, Blaine and Kurt left in different directions.

The villa was breath-taking, and Kurt could not find the words to describe the tingling feeling overwhelming his skin as he strolled down the long, marble-lined halls into vast tastefully decorated rooms. At the rear half of the house, it seemed every room had a window overlooking the garden, pool, or cascading countryside which led all the way down the hill to what looked like a village at the bottom. Kurt chose an upstairs corner bedroom with both east and north facing windows. Waking up to the gentle sunlight every morning sounds like heaven. He stretched out on the four-poster bed for a few minutes and tried to convince himself that none of the sex films shot in the house had any scenes in this particular room. The last thing he wanted was to have flashes of porn scenes of his boudoir as he tried to fall asleep at night. Kurt then rose up and explored the downstairs, with its new kitchen technology, a central living room that joined onto the back balcony and contained both a giant fireplace and grand piano. As he stole himself out to the balcony to take in the scenery and eye up the pool and hot tub, he realised this may not be so bad. He had been in the house exploring for nearly twenty minutes and he had not run into Blaine once. Maybe we'll stay out of each other's way and it'll be like we're all alone-

'That fucking asshole!'

Kurt almost jumped at the sound of Blaine's outburst at the front of the house. He wanted to ignore it, but he knew he shouldn't. He found him standing at the open main door angrily clutching a note in one hand. 'What did I do now?' Kurt frowned and folded his arms as he approached.

Blaine rounded on him and looked ready to take a swipe; Kurt stepped back as casually as he could. 'It's not you for once, princess,' Blaine snarled, slamming the note against Kurt's chest for him to take. Kurt turned his nose up at the action but lifted the paper to read it:

Sorry to do this but I knew you wouldn't agree if I had asked – I'm taking your car keys with me. ̶I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ I don't trust you to stay together if you have a car. I've left my details by the phone, so you can call or text if there's a problem. I'll be round in a week to check on you and bring in groceries, so just stay put and enjoy yourselves. You'll get your keys back soon enough!

Rodger

Kurt's hand instantly flew to his jeans pocket where his car keys usually resided before recalling how he had handed them over when his director friend had volunteered to get his things. 'He stole my keys?' he asked, incredulous.

Blaine nodded, turning back to face the driveway which had traces of skid marks from where Rodger had no doubt sped out after dumping their bags by the steps. 'Mine too. That asshole, if he thinks I'm going to let my car seize up from lack of use all because he didn't 'trust' us, he's got a hell storm coming his way.'

As odd as it was to admit, Kurt wasn't as angry. He was sure he'd be able to make sure his car remained in good condition, and he had honestly not planned to leave the premise. He wasn't a rule breaker. Perhaps Blaine was mad because he was one. Without much to do but accept the situation – and what an ugly situation it was! - Kurt quietly picked up his bags and took them up to his room to leave Blaine to rant to himself.

So much for Day One.

Day Three – things were...going well. Admittedly, Kurt was surprised. It had been a full two days since arriving at the villa and it had been fight-free. Of course, that was much to do with the fact that Kurt and Blaine had miraculously avoided each other to the point Kurt might have wondered if Blaine was still around if not for the missing food and the faraway sound of splashes from the pool. It was little wonder Blaine was as golden-skinned as he was: he practically worshiped the sun. On his trips from the library to the kitchen, Kurt generally saw a fully-naked Blaine stretched out on a sun lounger. His darkening skin was glistening with sweat or pool water, his foot tapping to the sound of the music he constantly had playing as he sunbathed. Kurt enjoyed the sun but his sensitive skin wouldn't allow him to do what Blaine did. Thankfully, Kurt's real passion – reading – was generously met with Rodger's extensive library. There was even a small reading nook in the form of a tiny, cosy room in which Kurt could avoid the outside world. By his third day, Kurt had finished eight books and the ninth was a roller-coaster of a ride! His eyes never leaving the page even for a second, he blindly grabbed his empty water jug and made the now-familiar walk to the kitchen for a refill. The protagonist was in a race against time to reach London's Waterloo Station before the villain made his getaway on the train to the sleepy city of York – Kurt filled the jug with water and then eagerly turned the page – the young street urchin from chapter seven was now running alongside the main character as they realised they were at the wrong platform – Kurt dropped a few ice cubes into the jug yet still his eyes never left the story. Just as the hero spotted the villain stepping up into the steam train, Kurt wondered if there would be time in those final moments to make it to him and bring justice to-

'Wha- Ah!'

Kurt's feet slipped away from him and he flew upwards into the air before crashing down onto the kitchen floor. He let out a yelp of pain at the impact on his rear and gingerly rolled over. The tiles were shiny with liquid. For a moment, Kurt thought he had spilled his drink and then slipped on the mess but he then noticed the trail leading from the patio doors. His ass throbbing and aching, Kurt growled and stood up. He stomped his way out to the poolside.

'Hey!' Kurt shouted.

Lying facing the sun's rays, Blaine barely opened an eye at his sudden arrival. 'Ugh, you're still here?' he muttered, closing his eye again. Kurt kicked the sun lounger, albeit pathetically, and finally managed to receive a little more of the other actor's attention. Blaine let out a frustrated sigh and turned his head towards him. 'What do you want?'

'The floor inside is soaked all because of you because you couldn't be bothered drying yourself,' Kurt seethed, 'And I slipped on it! You're such an inconsiderate asswipe!'

Blaine had scrunched his nose up at the accusation but then broke out into a smile at the mention of Kurt slipping. 'You fell?' His grin grew wider and he began laughing. 'I'm sorry I missed it. Hurt yourself, princess?'

'How does anyone stand to be around you?' Kurt snapped, pacing the length of the lounger, 'You have zero common decency, you are rude, meat-headed and the bane of this entire place!'

'Who missed watching you fall on your ass.' Blaine added with a smile. He then parted his legs a little, reminding Kurt that he was naked, 'And in answer to your question, people like being around me because I have a lot to give.' He winked, laughed again and then shut his eyes to return to his sunbathing.

Feeling more furious than ever before, Kurt balled his hands into tight fists and stormed away back inside. The smirk on Blaine's face grew, smug in his apparent win. However, his smugness was short-lived. His eyes had returned to their closed position by the time Kurt reappeared, armed with his trusty water jug.

Kurt felt a surge of achievement at the high-pitched cry that escaped his enemy's throat when the ice-cold water met his hot skin. He was sure to move the jug above the entire length of Blaine's unsuspecting body, making sure he was drenched. Blaine leapt to his feet and tumbled off the sun lounger. Kurt grinned and ran back inside.

It took him nearly forty minutes to get his mind back into 1940's London with his book as he continuously erupted into fits of laughter just playing the look of frozen horror on Blaine's face when he fell into the bushes.

A.N. Quite short, I admit, but scenes must be set somehow. Please leave a review and tell me what you think! :)