Hello dear fanfiction world. This fanfiction is dedicated to a tumblr/deviant art user named Rubitan, and my interpretation of her universe. This fanfic will contain one shots of the Batfamily and a certain someone :) I copy and paste from Google Docs, so I'm sure something format wise is messed up. Hopefully it doesn't distract from the story.

disclaimer: Really, this is so stupid. I don't own these characters. None of them. Nor the mansion, or the cave, or the car, or anything. I do, though, own an animal themed travel crib.

This fic contains slash with DickXJason. Please no flames. If it isn't your cup of tea and you don't tolerate that kind of thing, then don't read. I'm an avid DickXBab's shipper and am usually a pretty strict canon shipper as well. Can I write a DickXJason anyway? Heck yes. I can write what I want, cause it's fun :)

Enjoy

(Bruce)

Patrol had been brutal.

Harley was playing around with Poison Ivy and mixing up some really potent stuff that he had to put a stop to tonight. They were spraying it all over downtown and everyone was going crazy in love with everyone else, falling all over the place and being utter idiots while those two villains tried to get away with the goods. Really, that would have been enough already but NOOO, Killer Croc was also breaking into warehouse for whatever reason he still had to figure out, WHILE he was trying to keep himself gas free from the new toxin the girls had, of course. It was loads of fun. Robin couldn't help because he was doing a mission for the Titans.

Sure, he was happy the boy had finally agreed to it, after several years of coaxing from Dick and Tim. And with Tiim was leaving soon, and he said they needed a Robin.

Maybe he would make friends? Hate people a little...less. At least he'd better, if he was going to make him partner-less certain nights, nights like THIS.

The batmobile pulled into the cave and he jumped out, stretching his aching muscles. No one was there to greet him, which was a little surprising. Alfred usually stayed up in case he came back injured. It didn't bother him any, of course, he just noticed it nonetheless.

After taking a hot shower and getting dressed into something casual he made his way upstairs to the manor. Closing the secret door behind him he looked around curiously, listening for people around the house. In the kitchen he could hear shuffling and clanking of metal and assumed Alfred was cleaning something up. At 2 in the morning? As he was about to stalk off to the kitchen, he caught something out of place in the living room with his peripheral vision.

It was a mesh box with cute little animal designs.

Knowing immediately that he'd never seen such a thing before and wondered why it was here in the manor he briskly walked across the office and into the room in question. The lights were off and the mysterious box, or whatever it was, glowed from the light of the fireplace.

As he stepped closer he could see through the mesh a bundle of blankets. More confused than ever he finally approached the object and looked down.

Holy Kripton, it was a baby.

Of the millions of questions running through his head, the one that won first priority was "who is this baby and how did it get here?" Well, that was two questions, but his perfectionist brain didn't actually care at the moment.

Somehow the way he reacted on the inside must have escaped to the outside, because tiny groans and a whimper came from the waking little body in the crib (for that is what he could now see it was) because what he could only assume was from a noise he made during his observations. This type of behavior was unacceptable for the Dark Knight, but he would scold himself later. He blamed it on the long night. And the new gas/toxin the girls came up with. Surely it had gotten to him, despite his efforts. It was making him careless.

The baby inside opened little eyes and scrunched it's face, its head turning upwards towards Bruce. They were a beautiful blue that was instantly and terrifyingly familiar. It's mouth then opened in what looked like a pre cry and he instinctively reached out and picked the baby up.

Sure, he had many opportunities to hold babies. Sometimes he got to carry them through windows and down fire escapes. Sometimes holding them closely against his chest or high above his head as he raced through a crowd to a screaming mother.

This was different. He wasn't wearing his suit, he wasn't technically rescuing it and he had no idea what to do with it now that it didn't look like it was going to cry anymore.

It blinked slowly as it stared at Bruce with wide curious eyes. And as Bruce thought before, they were hauntingly familiar. Now he could see it was not just his eyes, but also the way his little lips curved and his high-set cheekbones. The baby furrowed its eyebrows at him and he felt as though he was looking at a carbon copy of-

"Master Bruce!" Alfred exclaimed from the doorway. "How long have you been home?"

"I...uh..." he looked for words dumbly (another thing he needed to discipline himself for. The Dark Knight does NOT stutter) as his eyes went to Alfred, then to the baby and back to Alfred.

His butler's eyes had widened as he took in the scene and he shuffled over swiftly for a man his age.

Finally he found the words. "What. Is. This?"

In retrospect, he should have said "who." But that is beside the point.

"I can explain, Master Bruce," Alfred laid his hand on Bruce's arm. "This is-"

Suddenly their heads whipped over as they heard the front door open and close, several quiet footsteps reaching their ears.

"Thanks you so much Alfred for watching him," his oldest, Dick, was saying quietly, barely above a whisper. Jason, Tim and Damian followed behind him, all with smiles on their faces. They immediately froze when they saw Bruce. The Batman.

Nevermind that it had been almost five months since he'd last seen his two eldest. Or the fact that they had practically disappeared off the grid, having Red Robin watch Bludhaven and having little to no contact with the other vigilante's. Suddenly they were both walking into his house like they'd never left, Jason's hand pulling away from Dick's in surprise (as if they were embarrassed about PDA in front of Bruce. Did he really seem like such a prude?), and the two youngest and Alfred all in cahoots about something Bruce had NO idea about.

Jason suddenly leaped forward, raced over to Bruce and tugged the baby away from Bruce's grasp gently. Bruce hesitated, faltering as the bundle was removed from his arms. He back!

...Ugh. He MUST have gotten gassed by Harley and Ivy. It's not like he could actually feel attached to a tiny invulnerable thing he met only two minutes ago. No matter how much it looked like his son, Dick. Or was is Jason he looked like? He felt like an idiot. How could he not tell? It's not like his eldest sons were twins... (Thank goodness. He didn't approve of actual incest. He did not consider what his two adopted sons did as incest).

"Bruce!" Dick gasped as Jason grabbed the baby. He realized it was more in surprise over what Jason did, and less for alarm at Bruce being here. He stepped forward towards Jason until they were side by side, and slid his arm behind Jason's shoulders and rested his hand on his upper arm. Tim and Damian slowly creeped forward, wide and scared eyes never leaving The Batman. It would have been funny if Bruce wasn't trying so hard to hold his temper in and yelling about being left in the dark. What was going on?

"Bruce," Dick repeated after clearing his throat, and it sounded a lot more confident. "We want you to meet Thomas." He gestured towards the baby with his other arm. "Thomas is your...um...well, Dad...he's your grandson!"

"..."

*crickets chirping*

"...WHAT?!"

to be continued...

There you have it kids. I know Bruce is OOC, but I'm kinda liking this side of him :)

For those of you with these questions...

FAQ:

Dick and Jason have a kid?: Don't ask. I don't really care how it happened. Not important in this story.

Who the heck is Thomas Grayson?: Thomas does actually exist in the comics. Sure...its set sometime far in the future where Damian is Batman (and a large one at that. Weird) and he's dresses kinda like Red Hood. Since that is all we know about him, we can't say for sure this story isn't canon...but I'm pretty darn sure it isn't and I don't care.

Can I find you on tumblr? You are so awesome I can barely contain myself: Ok ok...I'm sure this question is the LAST thing going through your mind, but I sure have fun daydreaming it. This is a hopeless plug to get more followers on my account. Ya, I'm that lame. Oh wait...I mean I'm super awesome and funny!