This is my first Fanfic, and I'm a Korean, so it might have some mistakes...;; This fanfic is based on SeeU's song 'Caballa 1/2' by udaque. You can listen to it while reading :) search on Youtube or Crecrew(Korean Nicovideo)! I'm sorry that I can't give you the link;;
EnJoy!
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Yeah, that was the year I was crushed underneath the weight of words.
And that year, was very cold.
I was walking on a snow-covered path trying not to cry.
While I was walking, I tried to remember the things which I regretted in the past, and things which I wanted to hide.
I wrote them on a piece of paper, and I tried to burry the paper into the snow.
Suddenly, a sparrow appeared, and came near to me, flying.
And the sparrow asked me, "Are you going to burry that in the snow?"
Wait, a sparrow talking?
It was very weird, but I was not surprised.
I didn't know why, but it felt very natural to me at that moment.
So, I nodded slightly to answer the bird.
"It will show up when the snow melts."
The bird spoke only one sentence, and flew away.
For a while, I thought about the sparrow's words. And decided that the sparrow was right.
I turned around, thinking now what should I do. Then, I saw a canvas laid between the footsteps printed on the snow, which had a drawing of a fish head.
The fish looked strange. No, its expression of his face was strange.
To describe it in difficult words, his expression of his face looked like it had lost its meaning in incomplete combustion, and that metaphysical expression was easily hidden in the winter breath.
Saying in other words, it was thirsty for the value of existence.
Looking at the fish, I got scared. I just felt like I was looking into a mirror.
Silence went for a while.
The fish broke the silence, introducing himself.
"My name is Caballa. Even though right now I have only my head, my name from the moment I was born is Caballa. Nice to meet you."
"um...Well, My name is SeeU."
I replied by saying my name too.
"Can you look for my lost body?" Caballa asked in a quiet voice.
"It will be definitely helpful to you too."
So, I started to look around for his body.
While I was looking for his body, one by one, the street lamps started to light up, and soon it became dark.
Finally, I found two canvases underneath the cold moonlight, and handed them to him.
On the second and the third picture, half of the fish were missing. They only had their body.
The pictures all didn't match, and at the stark sight of the red inner flesh, I started to cry. I felt so sorry for the fish.
"It's ok, SeeU. Don't cry." Caballa tried to cheer me up in a clam voice.
"My name was still what it was. Myself in one picture, and also myself with only half a body, I still love myself."
Suddenly, a wind blew, and that wind woke my head up.
Caballa looked so beautiful, loving even the halved body of itself.
I colleted my mind, and I drew a pair of wings on the back of the drawing.
"You were right, Caballa. Looking for your body definitely helped me." I said, wiping away my tears.
"Now I learned how to love my self. From now, I will love even the reflection of myself."
Smiling, I tightly embraced the canvas, imagining the future where in living loving my crooked self, when my wounds will heal.
