As this is my imagination we are speaking of everything is strange and cheesy and there are a few things that need to be taken into account:
Harry, Hermione and all the Weasleys speak in posh accents.
Malfoy hisses
Dumbledore is a cowboy
Snape is just as mean and callous like he is in the book but when he laughs he sounds just like Goofy.
Crabb and Goyle are renamed Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
All the Dursleys have huge moustaches and comb them regularly
It will not make sense
Harry is just waking up out of bed to hear birds twittering outside, he starts walking downstairs.
Music – Belle from Beauty and the BeastHarry: Boring town, full of boring people
Everyday, is so dull and lame
Boring town, never lets me sleep in,
As they wake up to say….
Harry opens the door and looks out onto the street
Random person from window: Hello!
Random person from window: Hello!
Random person from window: Hello!
Random person from window: Hello!
Random person from window: Hello!
Harry: Look at everyone so clueless and normal,
They know nothing of my life.
Every morning full of pain,
As I face a day again,
In this place where muggles dwell.
Mr Dursley: Harry! Get in here.
Harry goes insideHarry: What is it?
Mr Dursley: We need some cheese pronto. Dudley wants it. Go up to the newsagents and get some cheese.
Harry: But…
Mr Dursley: No buts. Now!
Mr Dursley points at door. Harry sighs and walks out onto the street.
Woman wearing giant hat: Look there he goes, that boy is strange no question,
Boy on bike: Dazed and distracted can't you tell?
A Butler: He never wears matching socks,
Talking dog: That gives us quite a shock,
Little baby girl: It's a shame that cousin Dudley gives him hell…
Old woman: Hello.
Florist: Good day.
Child with suit on: How is your family?
Captain Jack Sparrow: Hello!
He says this to rum
Some guy: Good day.
Girl: How is your wife?
One of the elderly mad: I need! Some cheese!
Cheese dealer: No you're too scary.
Harry: Why am I in this place where muggles dwell?
Harry goes into shop and everyone jumps into view.
All: Look there he goes, that boy is so peculiar,
I don't think he is ever feeling fine.
With a scar upon his head,
And a look that he's not fed,
I wonder if he knows what else can rhyme.
Harry comes out of shop and everyone is normal again.
Harry: Ohhhhh…I do miss Hogwarts,
It's my favourite place because, you'll see.
It's… Where I feel welcome,
Not here where people all adore some tea!
Everyone glares at Harry
Woman gardening: Now it's a shame he only stays for summer,
There's no one else that we can mock.
Fred Flintstone: But from the period he's here,
Parrot: I think it's rather clear,
All: He's different from the rest of us,
SpongeBob: Very different from the rest of us,
All: He doesn't seem to carry any clock!
Everyone apart from Harry jumps in the middle jangling their hands about like people do, Harry turns around but by then they all act innocent so he goes in the Dursley's house and shuts the door.
Music stops