Author's note: I had written a string of Alistair related stories during my initial playthrough of DA: O as a mage, and here is one more. Bann Teagan was cool. I had to find some way to include him together with Alistair in a story without casualties. That's how this fic came to be.
The fic takes place just before the end of the game.
Castle Chat
It was bad enough being hungry so late into the night, but Alistair had to walk in his bedclothes through the long corridors of his childhood home when all the servants and hired help retired for the night. Without anyone around inside Redcliffe Castle's estate, plus low lighting, Alistair realized the place was a little spooky without anyone around.
Whenever Alistair woke in the middle of the night it always took him forever to snooze. Lucky for him, he procured a hand lamp for himself before shuffling from his room to the larder. Traversing these familiar halls after so many years of absence was an odd mix of happy nostalgia and painful childhood memories. Scurrying around for the best hiding spots for little him and the not yet Bann Teagan's games of hide-and-seek brought a constant source of amusement as Alistair had passed throughout the estate today.
Adult Alistair passed a pantry he couldn't believe he remembered fitting inside when he was eight. In the kitchen, he delightfully snagged a chunk of cheese and a slice of bread.
Many of the hallways and rooms had changed from his last stay here. He remembered his temporary stay at Arl Eamon's castle prior to coming here. Only the dining room had changed. Rearranged furniture and an entirely replaced set of chairs and a long table. The former eating table had been pretty fancy, but then again, he looked at it from the eyes of that childishly exuberant boy so many years past.
The last battle came tomorrow and his body chose the worst moment to have insomnia. He told himself he needed rest but it wasn't like he could strap his body to his bed and somehow he would fall asleep.
He thought of the mages in his merry little group. Morrigan would probably cast a hex on him as a joke if he asked her. Wynne might ask a ton of questions about his insomnia, but she knew dandy spells had to have sleep in her repertoire. Then there was Solona, but Alistair felt waking her was not the recommended course of action after what events transpired.
Not wanting to think too hard, he shelved the spell thoughts. He'd eat first and hope sleep followed after so nobody needed to be bothered.
The fluttering and faint golden glow of his waving hand lamp lit his steps and every few feet in front of him. Firelight seemed comforting in darkness. Probably an aftereffect of camping with huge bonfires. At the end of a hard day's of darkspawn slaying, staring into a strongly lit and controlled fire was always a welcome sight.
Where to eat? Stay here? Or...
The dining room. Right. Alistair grinned to himself. Let's go there.
He crossed the darkened hallway which connected to the dining room and halfway through, his brows furrowed. An identical halo of gold was in the dining room. Someone was in there, but the outline he couldn't make out yet.
His strides grew cautious even as he reminded himself intruders were impossible to find in this castle without alarm bells blaring. Then again, magic existed. There went his overactive imagination at work so late tonight.
Light greeted its companion. The back of a sleeping person occupied the dining table. He cautiously circled around them to get a better view. He relaxed when he recognized the face. Hunched over an open tome was Solona, soundly dozing.
Alistair came up with three good ways to wake her right then, but none of them would make her very happy. Only very agitated.
He craned his neck at the book she was reading. With her folded arms over the pages the book's contents were impossible to see. Fairy tales? Accounting ledgers? A traveling guide to add information to their ongoing codex? Alistair felt curiosity at what could interest Solona so much to stay up.
Carefully, he set down his lamp next to her burning one, then his snack. Shadows danced across her cheeks as he moved around silently. His heavy feet made padding noises and he thought about Leliana and her knack for noiseless movement. He ought to ask her for lessons. She slinked with the grace of a panther.
Alistair gently touched her shoulder. Waking her was not what he wanted to do, but that thought was when he assumed Solona had already tucked herself under covers. He lightly shook, hoping not to startle. Solona didn't rouse and he whispered, "Hey, you've got to go back to your room."
She didn't respond to this, either. Alistair sighed and watched her. Well, was it so bad for both of them to stay here longer? He did originally come in to have a spot to eat at. May as well take advantage.
Tenderly, Alistair brushed away her hair off her forehead so he could get a better look at those closed eyes. They were serene, not squeezed shut in nightmare. Good.
"My goodness, you are a night owl." A surprised male voice came from Alistair's side.
Alistair managed to not yelp or flail his arms and knock out the guest or Solona, instinctively and foolishly reaching for a sword on his back which was not there. Yes, he was a warrior, through and through.
No, he badly needed sleep.
Bann Teagan covered his mouth as an apology. His voice dropped to a whisper. "I didn't expect to run into anyone. Alistair, why are you up?"
"Me? Oh, uh..." What sounded less wicked, hunger for food or a woman? Alistair looked down at their general direction.
Teagan didn't need Alistair to say anything, for his whispering turned into a breathy laugh. "I see you're split in deciding." His dark eyes followed Alistair's gaze. "She is special, isn't she?" He asked the question in a way that meant something deeper.
And Alistair took his opportunity for jest. "Yeah. Grey Warden. She's kicked a lot of darkspawn heinies. If they do have any." He picked up his bread slice and cheese and began to nibble.
Teagan had been away for a long while from the Grey Warden standing in front of him, but was not dense to Alistair's personality. Teagan smiled. "Grey Warden not what I meant and you know it. The lady underneath the title."
Alistair blushed at talking about a love interest with the man whom he'd dunked in a mud puddle when they were kids. Multiple rounds. All in the sheer name of victory. Teagan took it fine, as he returned the frolicking and threw some impressively accurate mud balls at Alistair.
Here Teagan was, grown just as Alistair was. Bearded yet boyish, and their conversation reverted to that while speaking to a good friend. Funny how time rewound through chat even with all the changes in the world.
A friendly smirk crossed Teagan's mouth at Alistair's blushing hesitation. "Sometimes, you read like an open book."
"If I could do the same thing with what Solona's reading, there." With her head propped on top of her arms, all those words were covered. Alistair glanced at the bookshelves against the nearby wall. "What literature is stuffed in those shelves?"
Teagan mused silently. "This particular shelf has a mix of topics, I believe. She may be reading about recipes or archery, for all we guess."
"Please not about archery. I shan't be slain by an arrow coming from her," Alistair muttered good-naturedly, knowing the mage wasn't the type to wield a bow and arrows. Knowing the shelves hosted any number of topics, he wondered which one of those topics grabbed Solona's attention enough for her to remove it and read.
"There are no step-by-step guides, if it reassures you." Teagan felt apt to tease Alistair, it seemed.
"Tremendously." Alistair finished eating as Teagan explained how the servants must like to play around because books of one subject might discreetly end up in an altogether different shelf. "So what of you? Any special someone in your life?"
Teagan looked ready to burst out laughing in either embarrassment or absurdity. "Certainly not."
"Why do you sound as if you like that status?"
"There's a war at stake, Alistair."
"Doesn't mean you can't meet someone." The Grey Warden really itched to gossip.
Teagan didn't speak for an extended period, drawing Alistair's curiosity even more. Teagan must have something juicy.
"I did drop by Denerim recently to visit the Arl. A lady and her brother came up and asked me for information about the city. I somehow drifted into conversation which went past directions."
"Ooh, Teagan, you rascal, you. Working some hidden charm." Alistair resisted a guffaw.
"It was one conversation." Teagan thoughtfully titled his head. "But she does need help settling in Denerim and I do know it well..."
Not thinking about it, Alistair absently stroked the top of Solona's head.
"Is something the matter with both of you?" The inquiry made Alistair take notice what he was doing.
"I assumed you two were spending the night." Teagan continued. Slightly embarrassed at expressing his opinion, he backpedaled. "I-I don't mean to overstep my bounds to your privacy. If you don't wish to speak about it..."
His words of presumed love gave Alistair a splash of reality and sorrow, regret, and a whirl of guilt flowed through him. Alistair did not, in fact, sleep with Solona this night, but with Morrigan. Alistair was not at all devoted to her, and he didn't do it out of petty revenge against Solona.
He wanted the chance to live after the battle. So did Solona. All it took was Morrigan and a ritual that involved consummation. Alistair worked so hard to achieve such intimacy with Solona, and with Morrigan the same act took far less passing of hours and days.
"I did an awful thing to her." It was all Alistair could utter, his permission to broach the topic. He couldn't subject his ears to the harsh truth even when his insides gonged with it.
Teagan's forehead creased in compassion. "Solona doesn't know about it."
"Oh, she knows. It was her idea. If she just-" Alistair's voice picked up as he began to fume, but dropped it. Morrigan made her offer, Solona churned it inside her mind, and Alistair simply went through with it. Finding out about the ritual and making a decision in minutes flew over Alistair's head. To die or live, that was what the ritual boiled down to. One minute he was alone in his room thinking up battle tactics for tomorrow's fight, and then Solona walked in and dropped her bombshell.
Unlike spending the night with Solona, the culmination of desires and intimacy, sleeping with Morrigan was an altogether awkward and strange experience. Alistair's body went through the motions as his mind skittered. Sex with no more than an invite?
Alistair admitted a part of him enjoyed the act simply for the physical release, as humans naturally did. Still, the joy of it lingered only briefly, and his self snapped into focus once again once the act finished. Morrigan dismissed him and he stumbled to his room when his brain reconnected with the body it belonged to.
Teagan crossed his arms over his chest. "Will she forgive you?"
"Yes." The reply came immediately. Alistair closed his eyes sadly. She really would, and it made him feel worse.
"Why don't you bring her to her room?" Teagan urged.
Alistair moved closer to loop her arm around his neck so he could pick her up. As he shifted her weight off the pages, he glimpsed at them.
Poetry. A battered novel thumbed countless times from its shabby condition. His eyes scanned the passage Solona had stopped at.
If the seas knows no bounds and the sky spills on the earth with freedom, then fear not the path you trod for mercy will carve your trail. Step surely with conviction and freedom shall be yours.
Alistair stared at the verses. Fear not the path you trod.
Alistair reached behind her back with one arm and slid his other under her thighs. He scooped Solona from the hardbacked chair. Her head rested against his shoulder. Her rhythmic breaths calmed him.
"Good night, Teagan." Alistair inclined his head. "It was good to talk with you."
"Likewise, my friend. Here, I'll light your way."
Alistair moved quietly out of the room and to the sleeping quarters. His steps resonated solidity, yet they made nary a patter.
Upon arrival, Teagan said a farewell. Alistair nudged open her bedroom door with his foot. He slid her onto the mattress and guided her head gently on the pillow.
He watched her. Something felt off. Alistair impulsively reached out and delicately touched her lips. They twitched under his fingertips.
Alistair leaned down and kissed her. Long, wistful, and hopeful. The welling emotions he dared not pass through his system during his play with Morrigan crashed over him.
He lay beside Solona and cradled her in the curve of his waist and up his side. Alistair drew her cheek to his chest, feeling her warmth brush his skin. He needed his heartbeat to sync with hers.
This was the way he wanted to from the very start before the whole mess with the ritual ever conceived in the past day. Unconsciousness had taken her over and while she couldn't reciprocate Alistair's affections, he never felt so close.
Holding passion and reverence he succumbed to sleep at last.
- THE END -