for neil-degrass-china (this kills the man on ffn), probably best if you read their "Scarf" piece first, for context
Truth Telling
Here's the thing, the thing he doesn't want to tell but he'll have to: that scarf was once his, and the neck, the person attached to that neck, had also once been his.
Infinite wasn't his name, but he doesn't remember what it was regardless. Maybe it's the effects of the gem—that radiating, pulsing, evil thing shoved into his friend's chest, probably never to be removed, only destroyed from the inside out somehow; he knows how this will go already, and he doesn't know if he's strong enough to pull pre-Infinite out of this new person in the old body—maybe it's the effects of the gem, but he can't remember any identifying specifics of the person before, not the same way he can see the eyes, staring at him from the darkness, the bed for two, feel the hand clutching him, shaking with nightmares, the smile— It's all so easy, but the words to go with it?
It's like they never existed.
Here's the other thing: he's very, very, very intimidated by Knuckles. And Tails. And Amy. He's heard the stories, seen the headlines, (collected the action figures), followed the comics, read the unofficial biographies. He knows what Knuckles is capable of, knows how highly he thinks of himself, knows how suspicious he is of everyone he doesn't know well, knows that he's searching for Sonic just as desperately as Tails, as Amy, as the Chaotix, even though he's locked into leading, can't go looking himself, knows that he doesn't trust the young, alternate dimension version of Sonic that appeared along with the Ruby as far as he can throw him (and that's. That's far. Resistance baseball for morale: only person who could hit Knuckles's hard fastball was Amy, with her hammer), keeps that Sonic at an arm's length so he can watch him; he knows all this, and he's terrified.
He absolutely, desperately, doesn't want to tell Knuckles that he knows Infinite (he more than knows him, and Chaos that spearheads right past awkward all the way to mortifying and compromising), but he also knows he has to. His knowledge of Infinite, of his (perhaps now non-existent) weaknesses, his habits, his past, is invaluable, and it belongs to the resistance, to Knuckles. There's a bigger world out there beyond his own angst, his own morbid, slow realizations, his own shame, a bigger cause. The planet is almost completely over-run with robots, Eggman's disgusting fingers of smog, pollution, and death are almost spread over everything, and they only clutch harder as they become more powerful. Infinite is a lynchpin in that, the very tendons that grasp the hold tighter, so it's his duty to say something.
But first, Gadget, has to convince himself that it's all real.
o0o
Silver is an enigma. Gadget doesn't know who he is, where he's from, what he wants, but Knuckles knows him, seems to trust him, so, when Silver says, "I knew it," after Gadget tells them, Gadget has to work very hard not to sputter and demand how, why, what.
But still, he says, "I knew it," with such conviction. Knuckles nods, sagely, calm, not at all what Gadget expected.
(A note: Gadget just said, "I knew Infinite, before all this."
Gadget said, "I knew Infinite... intimately..."
Amy said, "Oooooh." Not like a school girl, but with all the sympathy and chagrin of a grown woman.
Tails hissed and immediately fell on his tablet, typing up a storm, probably trying to connect the dots.
Silver said... "I knew it.")
Gadget doesn't know what to do at this juncture. They're all looking at him, him and his raw past, spread out for them to see, carved right out of his chest and offered up, here, do what you will. The heroes of his past (and Silver), watching him, trying to gauge him. He can feel pressure building somewhere in the back of his head, and he's not sure if it's going to turn into tears or something else but he very much doesn't want to find out.
Eventually, Tails says, "Yep," and spins the tablet around. There, plain as day, is a picture of old—Gadget with his arm slung over Infinite's shoulder. Behind them, carnival lights, spinning rides and junk food stands. "When was this?" Tails asks, and distantly Gadget wonders why Tails isn't second-in-command. He's far more capable than—
"Two years," he croaks, instead of finishing his own thought. "South Island's June festival."
"Sonic's birthday," Tails mumbles as he casts a long look toward the smaller version of Sonic, huddled in a corner with his hands over his ears. He has flashbacks sometimes, to the space between dimensions, and it's better to just let him sit there and sort out the stimulus; it's like a computer restarting—reality blends for him for a bit, but eventually he gets it. "We were there that year," Tails continues.
Gadget knew that, somewhere in the back of his head. He'd seen flashes of Sonic in the crowd, and Infinite hadn't been impressed, as always. He wasn't a big fan of Sonic's, but he appreciated what he did, for the island, for the planet. (Gadget has memories of that first attack, South Island alive with robots, when he was tiny, so tiny tiny, huddling with his best friend in the back room. Explosions everywhere, grinding gears, then— Nothing. Whispers later, Sonic, from Green Hill, only a child. His most vivid memory though: Infinite's hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles as he watched the windows, the smoke in the sky.) They didn't see Sonic that day (or back then), but it'd been comforting, knowing he was there.
"What's his name?" Tails asks as he taps Infinite's face, half obscured by his old scarf, the one he wore before Gadget got him a new one.
"I don't know." Gadget hears his own voice, loud and clear in his ears, but the omission doesn't sound right. He should know this. He should—
"The Ruby's doing." Tails sighs and turns the tablet back around, scrolls through some more pictures. "He looks normal. No homicide, huh?"
"He's a college student," Gadget croaks.
A long pause, and Knuckles finally speaks: "This changes nothing."
And it's that simple. Silver looks up from where he was picking at a loose thread on one of his gloves, and he finally speaks. "I should've realized. The records never said anything about this, but I read a few letters before I came..."
Gadget can't make sense of that, the past tense, as if what they're doing now is already lost to the annals of time. Maybe that's why Silver feels so weird, so insubstantial, why he doesn't touch anything, doesn't want to leave a trace. But that's—
Well, that's not as farfetched as the most important person in Gadget's past turning to evil, is it?
(And yes, his hand still aches. He still desperately wants to yank that gem out of him, but that would be too easy.)
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