Xayah wanted to stay on foot, to keep going all across the world until somehow she managed to fall off the side of Runeterra and disappear.
She hated them. Those filthy, evil, vile little humans and those blind, ignorant Vastayan's too! They were worse in a way, closing their eyes to the truths that surrounded them.
Sometimes, she wanted to kill them too. Wanted to watch their blood soak through her feather daggers, watch their faces drain of life and become as empty as their damn skulls. Xayah angrily dug her teeth into her bottom lip as she kept moving, swiftly stepping around the skeletal body of a dying tree.
This forest, like so many others…was dying. Vivid evidence of the truths Xayah wanted to spread. Yet they didn't see it. Couldn't see it. Her amber eyes swept around her, taking in every dying tree, every fading spark of magic. The dark canopy of the trees overhead cast the woods in almost complete darkness, but Xayah walked without hesitance.
After all, the farther she walked, the more distant the Mirai became. Doubts clouded her head, as dark as the forest around her. Doubts she carried with her at every moment, doubts she buried deep inside herself. Questions.
What was the point in trying to free the Vastayan's? What was the point in trying to educate them and to give them the power to destroy their oppressors? They didn't see the humans in that light. Humans, those filthy monstrous creatures, had taken everything from them and yet her fellow Vastayan's were their "friends"? It was one thing if they were too scared to stand up for themselves, that was understandable, but to willingly let the humans have reign over this world? How could they live like that? How could they continue to wake up, day after day, knowing their magic was being stolen from them? How could they raise their children in a world where the humans were slowly but steadily destroying them?!
Without Wild magic the Vastayan's could no longer live.
They had to know that. Yet they wouldn't take up a weapon, wouldn't journey with her.
It didn't make sense.
She wanted to give up. Wanted to end this pointless dream that seemed as if it would never bloom to fruition. Angrily, she summoned a feather dagger, running her thumb on the sharp edge and finding a familiar, old comfort in the pain that shot through her.
"Please stop that, babe. You know I don't like it when you do that to yourself," A soft voice called from behind her.
Somehow, she had thought she was alone. The voice shocked her and she gasped, like a child waking from a nightmare
Rakan was using that gentle, pleading voice. That voice she could never ignore and had never been able to. Xayah stilled her angry steps, stiffening. She turned on her heels, eyes livid with rage, and his gaze found hers. He flinched when he saw the anger etched across her face and her heart wrenched even as she opened her mouth.
"I don't give a shit what you like.You don't get to tell me what to do? If you don't like it then leave, Rakan." Her words were callous, and he was visibly bothered by them. His handsome features became drawn and sad and her heart shattered.
There was a swollen, sickly moment as Xayah waited for his reaction. She wondered if Rakan would turn his back and leave her. She knew he was only in this for her, but what was so great about her? He could have anyone. She had seen him charm other women with a wink alone. He could have any woman in the world. It wouldn't be shocking if he gave up this life of hardship for the comforts he once had as a travelling dancer.
Her amber eyes burrowed into his blue, burning and cruel and cold at the same time. Daring him to leave, begging him to so she could be alone in her misery. Her body visibly trembled, and she pushed her thumb into the dagger until blood dripped down her hand. But it wasn't comforting pain anymore, it was just pain.
She turned to walk away again, tearing up, but he swiftly swept towards her, gathering her in his arms. He was warm. So deliciously warm and she leaned against him, eyes burning with the threat of tears. The feather knife's magic faded from existence as she pushed her face into his chest.
"You know I'll never leave you, babe." Rakan smiled, brushing his fingers across her cheek and lips, and she leaned into his touch. She ran her own fingers through his waves of white gold locks and enjoying the way he smiled despite her anger. Her heart pounded and she shivered again when he gently scattered kisses all over her face.
"Mwah, mwah," He grinned, and then captured her chin in one long fingered hand. His jolly expression faded, becoming more serious, and he leaned down. She sighed with relief when he kissed her mouth, his lips hot and soft. Her anger seeped away as their mouths crushed together harder, and he groaned and squeezed her in his arms so tight she thought she would break. They stayed like that, her in his arms and their mouths melded together.
When he finally pulled away, the anger was gone. His warm, cerulean gaze brushed hers and she forced her own away. Guilt clenched her heart. She had hurt herself, had been so cruel to him. But she knew Rakan understood. He always did, always had. Always knew just what she needed. As if sensing her thoughts, he smiled knowingly.
"Why are you giving me that look," she asked suspiciously, and he smiled wider.
"Let's talk about it."
"What," she snapped, anger in her tone but not in her heart.
"Let's rest a bit, we can talk about it."
Xayah crossed her arms. "We don't have time to waste. And we've already talked about it, I'm through with talking, I want actions not words."
"Nah. It's alright, okay? We're fine." He pushed her hood back, and ran his fingers through her hair. He kissed her again. His words, so soft and gentle, brushed against her and soothed her. Seeped into her, like sunshine, and somehow it wasokay. She was fine. She bit her bottom lip as tears stung her eyes, and began to drip down her cheeks.
"We can talk about it. If you want," he offered. Anger flared in his eyes when he noticed her tears and he snarled. "I'll go back there and smack those fools myself," he spun, cloak billowing, and marched away.
She laughed despite her tears, "Rakan!"
He turned back to her, his face devoid of humor.
"No one makes my baby cry. No evil human, no blind Vastayan, no one. Only I get to, you understand me?" Her stomach was full of butterflies and knots and she laughed.
"Yes, I understand that." She wiped the tears from her cheeks and smiled, tugging on his arm. 'C'mon, help me set up for the night."
He muttered to himself as he set his travelling pack down next to a tree, digging around in it. When he caught her staring he smiled a little. She gazed out into the forest. This alone was a sign of their superiority. If a human made camp in a dangerous forest like this, they would be eaten or killed by some creature within the hour. Yet animals recognize them as friends, they didn't harm them. Xayah set her own pack down as he ranted and paced back and forth.
"Damn them! How come they don't see, Xayah? How come they won't join us?"
Xayah turned towards him, a smile on her lips. "Because we're the only smart people in this whole damned world. Fuck it, Rakan, we don't need them. They'd hold us back, anyways. Those fucking fish for brains."
His face lit up, like the sun. "That's right," he parroted, "We don't need those fools!"
She turned her gaze away again, and found it strange how just a few moments before she had been full of rage, had wanted him to leave her so she could be alone and miserable. Truthfully, Xayah couldn't imagine her life without him. Not anymore. How many days would it have taken before she'd died from heartbreak alone?
She lowered her fingers to her still bleeding thumb, and sighed pleasantly as she closed the wound. An old habit. She had Rakan now. She didn't need the pain. In fact, she didn't need anyone or anything. "Rakan. We'll kill anyone who stands in our way, including those braindead Vastayan's."
"Yep. You'll kill everyone," he agreed pleasantly, nodding his head and winking, "and I'll watch. I love it when you let me watch." His smile was infectious. She giggled, cheeks red as she grabbed the collar of his cloak and kissed him hard.
"So, do you wanna join me, or do you wanna watch," she teased, placing his hands on her waist, swaying against him in the beginning of a dance. His eyes grew dark and he smiled and everything was perfect.
Rakan was right.
They were fine. Everything was okay. As long as they were together, it would remain that way.