For TobiDei Week 2018 - Day 1. Celebration.
They couldn't ask for a better day.
The sky is clear without a single cloud in sight, but the temperature is comfortable enough for them to be able to wear anything without feeling the consequences.
Normally, Obito would enjoy sitting on top of Madara's statue on a day like this, looking out to the horizon and just watching the world move by around him without a care.
Today, though, he has something better to do.
"Get the camera," he hears someone – probably Kisame – say. Since Kisame is the tallest man in the group, he's unfortunately been tasked to take all the pictures. "Please pass me the camera," he hears him say a moment later, a little quieter, and then there's a series of laughter.
Obito doesn't bother himself with this, instead opting to look directly into Pain's eyes, who is keen enough to know that he is doing so.
"This changes nothing," his 'leader' says, reaching out to straighten his bowtie. There is no point in giving up their guise now, especially not when all of the Akatsuki are here, along with a few other unexpected guests.
"It doesn't," Obito lies.
Pain's hands still and then he lowers them, staring directly into his mask's eyehole and Obito knows that it's Nagato who's talking to him, not the mortal god that stands before him.
"Give me a reason," he says.
"The future," Obito replies and then says nothing more. He is saved from further questions when Zetsu appears behind Pain, his raspy voice cutting through the stagnant air.
"Your flower," White Zetsu says, holding out a flower. Obito doesn't ask whether it's of his making or if he just found two similar flowers while on his way to this hidden grove and plucked it off of the ground.
It is at times like these that Obito wishes he hadn't decided to hold a grudge against Hatake Kakashi and invited him to be his best man instead. All of the gods, known and unknown, know that the man would forgive him in a heartbeat, and would just be glad that he has an old friend back by his side.
It doesn't sound that bad after all.
Obito stands still as Zetsu fastens it to his suit, making idle comments about how little Tobi is all grown up and is on his way to become a real man. He cringes at them but, as always, swallows down anything negative he has to say. He's still Zetsu's subordinate in every lesser man's eyes, excluding those who matter.
"Hidan!" comes Kakuzu's roaring voice somewhere to the right of him, "Put that down this instant! It costs too much for you to even look at it!"
"Fuck off, old man!" Hidan's reply is as colorful as ever. "Kisame said I can have it!"
"I didn't!" Kisame exclaims.
"Put it back, or I will make you regret you were ever born!"
"I already regret being born! Lord Jashin values death, not birth! This entire ceremony is blasphemy, you hear me!" There is a series of sounds and then he hears Hidan grunt. "Hey, you big lump of idiot! Unhand me!"
Obito sighs, glancing at Pain.
"Immortality," Pain responds and then walks off.
"I'd rather a mortal member who can behave himself," Obito mutters.
"They've all died," Black Zetsu reminds him.
Obito clicks his tongue and turns to finally survey the scene. As expected, Hidan is being held down by Kakuzu, with the camera safely hoisted up in the air by one of Kakuzu's extendable hands. Kisame is walking over, arms held high to reach for the item, while Hidan is spewing a series of curses at his partner.
What a mess.
Obito turns away from the three and scans the rest of the area.
Itachi sits peacefully on the seats that he was tasked to set out. They're as neat as they can be for someone who is essentially blind, so Obito refrains from commenting. There are multiple people already seated at the chairs, of course, there's Itachi, then there's Akatsuchi — looking very uncomfortable — and off to the other side, he sees that Pain has taken a seat beside Konan, who had returned as silently as she slipped away.
He gives the tiny crowd another sweep over and finds that Itachi is staring directly at him.
Knowing what he wants, Obito begins to head on over to him. He sits down beside his cousin, hands on his knees.
"An unexpected turn of events," Itachi says. "I never thought you would be the type to marry, let alone marry someone like that."
Obito doesn't respond but he's sure Itachi senses the mood shift.
"Not like that," he says. "I am merely surprised that you, who is so eager for death and revenge, would settle down and start a life of your own."
Obito snorts.
"I thought I died," he says, pressing his thumb into the side of his knee in an irregular pattern, "but I was shown that I was wrong."
Itachi nods once, quiet. He thinks some of the ice between them has chipped off.
Only some.
Obito stands when he senses that Itachi has shut himself from him again. It's never easy with prodigies, he thinks to himself. They're too intelligent and observant for their own good. He's sure Itachi could tell that he's no longer eager to take on the world – he will drag this plan for as long as it can go.
It probably won't help his case in Itachi's eyes, but it's one way to go about it. There's no use in redeeming himself in the eyes of a dead man.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Zetsu waving at him.
"It's time," White Zetsu says, smiling quite pleasantly.
Obito nods and heads to where he needs to go. Absently, he takes note of Zetsu completely emerging from the ground and gesturing for everyone to sit down – and by everyone, he means Hidan and Kakuzu, who are still bickering.
Frankly, Obito wouldn't be surprised if the next wedding the Akatsuki attends are theirs.
Well, he might be a little bit surprised.
Okay, he lied. He would be very surprised. Hidan obviously dislikes these types of ceremonies, ones that don't align with whatever traditions his god has him performing. He hasn't gotten around to really understanding the guy yet because the only thing that's really unique about him is his immortality.
Maybe he should have read the report Pain gave him a little more thoroughly. It should say 'a complete and obnoxious idiot' on there somewhere.
A hush falls on the guests and then Kurotsuchi – Obito is still suspicious of the girl, no matter what she says about herself and her partner – appears and sits down next to Akatsuchi, clearly excited.
Obito remains standing, ignoring the priest that is beginning to walk out toward the altar he's in front of, and watches as the most important person in the ceremony appears.
The sounds of footsteps betray their presence first. While it's in their habit to remain as quiet as possible, there isn't really a need to do so in this hidden valley. No one's been here for a long time and after Obito discovered it, he made sure no one ever will.
They slowly come into view – he thinks they built a little hut in the back – and when he can finally make out Deidara's shape, he feels his heart swell.
Deidara doesn't look that much different than usual. His face looks a bit sharper, but Obito attests it to the minimal makeup that Konan applied. He wears a traditional-style kimono, patterns of golden flowers lining the white-silver fabric that glisten brightly underneath the sun.
Obito feels something well up in his throat but he doesn't think he could look away. He feels as though he is falling in love all over again.
He ignores the fact that Onoki is the one walking him. The damned Tsuchikage is looking way too smug.
Deidara catches his gaze and the two of them smile at each other. There's something different about this smile Deidara sports. It's more bashful, more gentle and very much to Obito's liking. He could stare at Deidara's smile for eons to come.
Their gaze remains locked even when Deidara arrives at his side, but Obito is forced to look away from Deidara's beaming expression when he hears Onoki clear his throat.
He moves to look down at the old man, but it seems like Onoki doesn't want to be looked down at because when he turns to the ground, he sees nothing but a floating shadow. Annoyed, Obito adjusts his gaze and stares at the Kage hovering in mid-air.
"Treat him well," Onoki says, voice gruff and stiff and sounding exactly how someone would sound when they don't know what to say, but is keen on stalling for time. "Don't hurt him."
Deidara makes an annoyed sound. Obito can't help but agree.
"Listen, kiddo," Onoki growls, "I can report you and take you in right now, but I'm not doing that, so you better respect me. And you," he turns to Obito. "You must think I'm some sort of idiot. Just because everyone in your little group isn't wearing their cloaks doesn't mean I don't know who you are."
"I never invited you here," Obito says, and then he feels a hand slap his arm. Tobi tilts his head at Deidara as an apology and turns back to Onoki. "Considering your history with the Akatsuki, I would assume you already knew who we are before even coming here."
Onoki clicks his tongue, putting his hands behind his back. "Deidara might be an outlaw now," he says instead of answering Obito, "but he's still my kid. I watched him grow up and took care of him when his mother couldn't. I didn't have to, but I did, so that's why I'm willing to put aside our differences to be here and celebrate his special day."
Obito nods slowly, unsure why Onoki is telling him this when it's very obvious, but he entertains the old geezer nonetheless at Deidara's insistent grip on his arm.
"That's very nice of you," Obito says, trying to sound as friendly as Tobi, but the rank of the man is preventing him from properly oozing the emotion. "Now, if you don't mind, we have a ceremony to perform."
Onoki huffs and then turns to Deidara. He says something to him but Obito doesn't care enough to eavesdrop. If it's something important and that he should know, Deidara would tell him later.
When Onoki floats away to sit beside his granddaughter and bodyguard, Obito turns his full attention to Deidara, reaching out to take one of his hands into his own gloved one.
"Can't believe you still have to wear this stupid mask, hm," Deidara says, though there is no bite in his voice.
"Aye," Obito says, his smile evident in his voice. "Can't have anyone else see me and fall madly in love with me. Then you'll have competition."
"On our wedding day?" Deidara scoffs. "They must be an idiot to do that now, yeah."
"Speak now or forever hold your peace," Obito shrugs.
The priest clears his throat and when the two of them look at him, he gestures to the mats laid out in front of him.
Obito lets go of Deidara's hand and he lets go of his arm. The two of them move to kneel down on the mats and bow their heads as the priest conducts the ceremony, kneeling down with them to offer them pre-poured cups of sake.
As Obito drinks the liquid, letting his mask dematerialize with Kamui, he gives the priest a fright. Said priest is perhaps the only person who is not a willing witness in this. Kakuzu and Hidan were tasked to find someone qualified to marry people and with Kakuzu's history, they manage to locate a Shinto priest pretty easily.
There was a tiny problem, though. Considering they're all criminals of the highest order, it was very hard to convince a priest to marry the two of them without them fearing for their lives. Somehow, Obito didn't think of the consequences of sending the Zombie Duo to fetch a completely defenseless priest.
It's like ordering a wolf to go to the coop and take a chicken back – alive. In which there are two wolves. And the wolves are both immortal. And the chickens don't have claws, or wings, or talons, or any basic ability to fight back.
It would explain why the priest's voice is shaking.
That or it might be the threat of harm coming to his family if he doesn't perform the ceremony. It's either one of those, Obito thinks.
Once they're finished, the priest hands the two of them their vows.
Obito rarely goes to any weddings – in fact, he doesn't think he's been to a wedding at all. At least, he's never been actually invited to one. Of all the weddings he's seen, they're mostly for one bride and one groom (who end up dead by the end of the ceremony) and most of them only have the groom speaking.
While it's not unheard of for two men to wed, it's certainly a rare case and they're usually private ceremonies. Neither Obito nor Deidara knows how it should work and, surprisingly, it's Kakuzu who offers advice.
He's been married before, he claims, and he's been to numerous more.
"I used to go to one every year," he had told them. "Two, if I'm really unlucky. Then they all died."
It was a really unsettling story to hear, considering the fact that Kakuzu is a really good financial planner and weddings usually cost a lot more than Kakuzu is willing to give up.
It sure is nice to be able to just threaten people and have things go their way. Onoki doesn't need to know about this particular detail of the wedding. Neither does Deidara's mother.
After the two of them stop reading, the priest offers them the blessings and gifts of the god – Hidan seems very agitated at this part of the ceremony and the priest swallows thickly at the sound of something sharp being pulled out of its sheath – and then he announces them, husband and husband.
It feels weird to hear himself being referred to that. He's a husband now, someone important to someone else of equal importance. There's no use hiding behind a mask when the mask is snatched from him, and Uchiha Obito is once more a relevant name.
"Uchiha," he hears Onoki mutter underneath his breath.
It takes a moment for Obito to realize exactly why that stands out so much. Out of everyone, only Onoki's little group is clueless about his family name. Everyone has been offered an official invitation – even though not all of them deserve one – and it lists his family name.
Only his family name, though. His 'name' is written as Tobi, which no one seems to doubt. There are only two people here who know his real name, while three others are under the impression that he goes by another.
The priest, of course, is instructed to say 'Tobi,' while their license contains 'Obito.'
It's not at all confusing, Obito thinks to himself as he takes the rings the priest hands him. It's either that or it's the ironic fact that Deidara spent most of his time in the Akatsuki hating the Uchiha, and now he's marrying into the family to become one.
He turns to take Deidara's hand, eyes wide with admiration and slides his band on his ring finger. He lets out a shaky breath as Deidara does the same to him, impatiently taking off his glove to complete the task.
The two of them still and Obito, instead of admiring the rings, looks up to watch Deidara instead.
He looks utterly enchanted, a perfectly sun-kissed angel kneeling beside him, the traditional clothing doing nothing but rope him in on the belief that Deidara must be some kind of god. Deidara certainly feels like one whenever Obito is around him as he causes all idea of self-doubt to be cast aside and demands all of his attention, carrying him with nothing more than promises as solid as the wind.
Deidara looks up at him, blue eyes big and watery and Obito wants to lean in to kiss those tears away, feeling suddenly uneasy, but he does nothing but kneel there with that desire as his mask prevents him from doing anything else.
He stands from the cushion. He squeezes Deidara's hand and the moment he feels Deidara squeeze back, he turns the two of them around and they start heading toward the guests, who are all standing to applaud and accept their official greeting.
He holds Deidara tight, turning at times to admire the expression on Deidara's face.
It's strange for him to even agree to this marriage. Even though they're not getting any younger, Obito had assumed Deidara does not wish to be tied down with anyone, instead opting to end in a fiery explosion, not unlike one of his creations.
With something as heavy as a marriage vow and statements of commitment spoken among witnesses, he doubts that Deidara is ready to shuck that responsibility off whenever he feels like it.
They've talked about it, sure, but Obito still can't believe his luck. A person known for his devoted belief that all things are fleeting committing to one relationship and even vowing to be with him forever?
He really can't believe his luck.
What they say is right; when you've hit rock bottom, there's no other way to go but up.
All of this is really a good cause for celebration.
One by one, everyone comes to greet the two of them, congratulating them. Konan is strangely emotional for someone who is usually a blank piece of paper, even going in for a hug – Deidara, of course. She goes in for a hug for Deidara. Instead of a hug, she gives Obito a look.
What a scary woman. He's glad that Deidara is not one.
Hm, but if he thinks about it hard enough, Deidara can become even scarier than Konan if he tries.
Another scary woman approaches them. She looks like Deidara but her stride and posture is less confident than hers. She and Deidara are about the same height and it might take a complete idiot to not see the resemblance between the two.
There's a strange sort of tension in the air that makes Obito glad that his grandmother has passed away long before he decided to attack Konoha.
"Son," the woman says, reaching out to touch Deidara's cheek.
Deidara doesn't look too thrilled but he accepts the touch nonetheless.
She seems to be having an emotional time, so the two of them stay quiet, letting her ride through whatever she's experiencing. After a while, she clears her throat and then looks back up at Deidara, a splitting image, and gives him a nod.
"I haven't always been there for you," she says, "and I regret that, yeah, so if you two ever decide to have children, I hope you don't make the same mistakes I did."
Oh, god. Even she talks like Deidara. Tobi would think that this is just a clone, transformed to look at least fifty-three and a woman.
She doesn't wait for Deidara to answer and turns to Obito, giving him a nod and a look that probably took two years off his lifespan, and then walks off to join Onoki.
Most of their attention is hogged by Kurotuschi, asking Deidara this and that. Obito is amused by their sibling-like interaction, though he refrains himself from actually eavesdropping in on their conversation.
Zetsu goes ahead and organizes everyone, growling at Hidan whenever he wants to do something to sabotage the altar – something about its presence making Jashin upset and as a devoted Jashinist, he must comply with his lord's command.
As they head on to the hut – Kisame is snapping pictures of everyone indiscriminately, even though he's been explicitly told who the main characters of this ceremony are – Obito turns to watch as Deidara offers a loopy grin to whatever Kurotsuchi said, finding it extremely endearing.
"Life is fleeting, you oaf, hm," Deidara had told him the night he proposed, "there's no point in making promises in front of an audience when you and I both know we'd hold up our end of the deal, yeah."
Obito had dreaded every single syllable of his words, but before he could even say anything, Deidara had continued.
"So why not? There's no other time than now," he had said. "Even if we're going to die tomorrow, hm, it wouldn't be a bad thing to call you my husband in my dying breath."
As Deidara seems to glow underneath the rays of sunlight that filter through the trees, shining as bright as his explosions, Obito smiles to himself.
No, it wouldn't be a bad thing indeed, Uchiha Deidara.
Hey guys, Red here.
This is beta'd by AO3 user Dani_ATN.
This is for the first day of TobiDei week 2018. I hope you liked it!
I didn't know what to do with this, really. I think it's something to do with the first day of everything. I ended up deciding to write a marriage.
I've never been to a marriage.
I hope it was fun to read, nonetheless. Thanks, guys!
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