"I think we should see other people."
"Wait a second, what?"
"Did you just, did we just?"
"What the hell, Berry?"
"Noah, I can't believe that we just-"
"No, don't even say it, I don't want to think about this anymore."
"Oh come on, it's kinda funny."
"Berry, don't even-"
"Noah, come on, it's kind of funny."
"I can't believe that we just broke up with each other at the same time."
Noah Puckerman went from 'in a relationship' to 'single'.
(10 people like this status)
Rachel Berry went from 'in a relationship' to 'single'.
(Noah Puckerman likes this status)
Rachel Berry: Of course you of all people would like this, Noah. How kind of you.
Noah Puckerman: I'm just saying, it's time for you to get back out there, Berry. Find a new piece of ass.
Rachel Berry: What an eloquent way to phrase whoring around, thank you, Noah.
Noah Puckerman: Anytime Berry.
Rachel Berry: It's really no wonder you're single Puckerman.
Noah Puckerman: Oh please Berry, the Puckerone is untamable!
Sam Evans: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! (30 people like this comment)
Santana Lopez: You two can't be serious. (20 people like this comment)
Brittany Pierce: HOW WILL I SURVIVE WITHOUT PUCKLEBERRY?! (5 people like this comment)
Mike Chang: This is a harsh, cruel joke you two are trying to pull, but my Asian intelligence knows better than to believe this. (40 people like this comment)
Noah Puckerman: Mike, you might want to fix those Asian instincts, because it's true. Berry and I are the harshest and the cruelest, the show is over.
Quinn Fabray: I can't believe this Rachel. Santana and I are coming over right now.
Finn Hudson: I'm confused, but I think Rachel and Puck accidentally changed their statuses..?
Santana Lopez: FUCK YOU TWO SO MUCH. So. Much.
Sam Evans: YOU TWO HAVE RUINED MY ABILITY TO BELIEVE IN LOVE! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW THAT YOU'VE CRUSHED MY DREAMS!
Rachel Berry: I think you're all overreacting a little bit, everything is going to be okay. There shouldn't be any dreams being crushed.
Mike Chang: First Quinn and Sam end things and now you two. YOU ARE MONSTERS!
Noah Puckerman: Whoa whoa Chang! What we have is still pure and untainted! (Mike Chang likes this comment)
Santana Lopez: You two are being so inconsiderate of this tragedy! (Sam Evans and Quinn Fabray like this comment)
Noah Puckerman: Hey Berry, ma wants to know if you're still down for meatloaf tonight?
Rachel Berry: Sounds like a plan. I'll bring over some cookies, maybe we catch a movie afterwards?
Noah Puckerman: Fantastic! There's a new horror movie I've been dying to see.
Quinn Fabray: I really HATE you both right now!
"I can't believe you two broke up with each other simultaneously!" Quinn Fabray mumbled, making her way through the hallways of McKinley High School, clad in her red Cheerios uniform and high pony. The blonde had spent three hours on Saturday at the Berry residence clarifying that she'd heard Rachel's (short) story correctly, followed by another hour of degrading the brunette for "letting the love of your life slip away!"Quinn had refused to play anything but songs about loss and tragedy, all while sobbing and tearfully taking down the pictures of Puck in Rachel's room (which Rachel proceeded to hang back up, insisting that they were still friends).
"Yeah B, that's gotta cancel each other out or something," Santana Lopez said bitterly, also unhappy about the decoupling of two of her best friends. She had arrived at the Berry's house at a prime 8am on Saturday, insisting that Rachel give her all the details before 'Crazy Fabray' got to her (Rachel thought maybe Santana was a little crazier than she wanted to admit, considering the early time, but was wise enough not to mention that). Of course, when Quinn arrived five minutes after later, Rachel had to start the entire story again, while Santana added in comments about how Puck was "such a douche" and "never good enough for you anyway." These comments lead to more conversations about who had more of a right to break up with the other; Quinn thought maybe Puck was right to break up with Rachel considering her big dreams, while Santana was adamant that Rachel had every right to ditch Puck's ass before he royally screwed up (Rachel was left a bystander in the affair, opting to text Noah the interesting points they were discussing while he told her all about Mike and Sam's pity party).
"San, I think all that means is that we both knew things weren't the same! I mean, we dated for four years, which is practically an entire lifetime at this age. If Noah wants to explore what else is out there, who can really blame him?" Rachel commented nonchalantly, unknowingly fueling her friends' fire by giving them a possible explanation for The Tragedy (Quinn had insisted it should be referred to as that, to emphasize how horrible it was).
"Is that what had happened? Did that douche break up with you so he could hook up with all the Cheerios he wanted during his senior year? Because let me tell ya Rach, I can make sure he never comes near another female at McKinley-"
"Quinn, I'm sure that's not the actual reason we broke up, I was just suggesting it as a possible option! The truth is that we've grown apart from one another; we're not 14 anymore and it's about time that everyone remembers that! Besides, it's not like I don't like Noah, it's just that hanging out with him was starting to feel like hanging out with everyone else, there was nothing really special about it." Rachel explained simply, trying to calm down her best friends as they made their way down the tiled floors of William McKinley High School.
"Oh, so the spark died because he wasn't feeding it enough romance? Easy fix Berry, just have him take you on one of those hot air balloons that are always being advertised on tv! Brittany and Artie went on one last week and the girl swears that they're soulmates." Santana added, shaking her head slightly as she remembered the ecstatic look on their other friend's face. The blonde had looked like Artie had given her a puppy for their 3-month anniversary instead of a twenty dollar hot air balloon ride over Lima, Ohio.
"It's not that I needed more romance, it's just that things were becoming so routine with the two of us. I mean, we eat meatloaf every Wednesday, some form of pasta every Friday, tacos on Tuesday, Becca's choice on Monday, I cook on Sunday, Noah and I spend all Saturday watching movies, and we eat with my parents on Thursday. Everything is so predictable, and it's nice, but it's also kind of expected. I could honestly substitute any of our other friends in his place and still be perfectly happy." Rachel said, her friends rolling their eyes at the Berry-Puckerman routine. That was one (the only one) perk of The Tragedy, they would finally get to spend more time together instead of pleading with Rachel to break free of her routine with Noah (they were seriously like an old married couple).
"Then do as the Spice Girls say and spice up your life, don't break up with your boyfriend. You and Puck have had some of the greatest times of your lives together and I'm just worried that you're throwing that all away to try something different. You don't even know if you're going to like different." Quinn said desperately, clearly trying to change her friend's mind.
"Quinn, how did you know that Sam wasn't the love of your life?" Rachel asked, changing the subject altogether, causing the blonde to stiffen slightly beside her. It had been taboo to mention the split between Quinn and Sam because the decision had come very shockingly to surface and didn't seem to be mutual in the slightest. Sam had spent a week avoiding everyone and staring moodily at Quinn, while the blonde had tried to keep her head held high and avoid looking in the direction of her ex-boyfriend ("if I don't see how sad he is, maybe I'll feel less guilty").
"Whoa Berry, going right for the jugular-"
"I guess I just realized that in 10 years, maybe he and I would be wanting different things. He was a great boyfriend, but we liked totally different things and I didn't really see us working out long term." Quinn said softly, trying to remain as composed as ever, though she felt like crying a little. It was hard, remembering how she had smashed Sam's heart, but she knew it was the right thing to do, especially because-
"Nice sob story Q, but everyone knows you're still into Finnocence." Santana commented simply, not trying to sound bitter, but simply just stating the fact. It was common knowledge that the blonde had been hanging out with the tall quarterback for the last week or so, and whether Quinn realized it or not, Sam was bound to hear the gossip soon.
"That's not totally true, I-"
"Sanatana, where did you hear that?" Sam Evans asked softly, coming up from behind the trio, causing all three girls to freeze, clearly having thought they were speaking softer than they were. Clearly Mike had taught Sam some of his ninja tricks, considering none of them realized how close the blonde was, but the distraught looks on his face signalled that he had heard a bit more of the conversation than he should've.
"Sam, it's not true, I swear that I-"
"I heard it from Kurt and Mercedes, who were talking a little louder than socially acceptable, but you know them, they hardly ever get the gossip right. Those two are willing to spread anything that they deem newsworthy, despite its lack of credibility, and I only said it to see if it would provoke a reaction out of Q." Santana mumbled, clearly feeling guilty about her role in the blonde's current upset mood.
"Quinn?" Sam mumbled, searching the blonde in an attempt to figure out what was going on. Puck had warned him last week that Finn had been saying something about he and Quinn were going to get back together, but he had assumed that the blonde would have at least warned him, considering she broke up with him without a warning (and he obviously wasn't over that).
"It's not totally true, I didn't break up with you just to be with Finn. I broke up with you because I think that we want different things; I want kids and a family and stability, while you want fun and excitement. And it's not that I necessarily want those things with Finn, but he and I hung out a few times when you and Santana were away at the comic convention in Columbus, and, I don't know. I thought I would have more time to think about this, and-"
"You know what, it's okay Quinn. I get it, you should be with Finn if you wanna be." Sam said dejectedly, his shoulders slumping slightly as he turned to walk away (and NOT cry in the janitor's closet, fuck you very much).
"Wait, Sam, what did you-"
"Samuel, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to catch a movie with me this weekend. They're showing that new Marvel movie in theaters, and though I'd originally planned to go with Noah, he'll probably be busy trying to score with one of the Cheerios, so I am looking for someone else to go with. And, as a bonus, you probably understand what's happening more than Noah ever did!" Rachel rambled, clearly trying to cheer up the blonde a little while ignoring the curious looks her other friends were shooting her. Both clearly wondered if the small brunette had lost her mind (which would be a logical explanation for The Tragedy).
"Oh, I- I mean, are you sure Puck would be cool with the two of us going out?" Sam asked, clearly dumbfounded by the idea of taking Rachel Berry to the movies (even though it'd be under platonic pretenses). After all, for as long as he's known her, she's always been Puck's girlfriend, and considering Puck is his best friend, he doesn't want to overstep any unspoken boundaries.
"Please Sam, as if Noah would care. Now that it's over, I'm sure he's on the prowl for new prey, which means that us going out to the movies as friends wouldn't matter to him at all. Besides, we could make it a night; a meal with your siblings before the movie, then we'd go to the theater and get some popcorn and whatever snack you prefer, my treat, which could be followed by an activity of your choice." Rachel explained as if her plans made the most sense. Clearly, she just wanted to distract Sam from the idea that his ex-girlfriend was moving on, and her promise of an interesting evening did sound appealing…
"Berry, why does Sammy look like he's about to shit himself?" Puck asked as he approached the small group, loosely slinging his arm around the short brunette's shoulders. While Sam, Quinn, Santana, and the rest of the students and McKinley seemed confused by this act of affection, Rachel remained unphased and simply rolled her eyes at the mohawked boy's accusations.
"Noah, I was simply asking Sam if he would like to spend a platonic evening with me going to the movies." Rachel said simply, clearly tired of repeating herself as if she needed to justify hanging out with a male that wasn't Noah Puckerman.
"Word to the wise Sammy, have her make lasagna, it's her best dish." Puck said with a shrug, clearly not (outwardly) affected by the fact that two of his best friends were planning on hanging out without him. "Oh, and cookies. There should definitely be cookies."
Sam's surprised at how relaxed and casual Rachel and Puck are being about the situation; it's as if they never spent four years being in love with one another. Quinn finds the status of her two friends off-putting, because it makes her lose hope for a Puckleberry reunion and damnit if she hadn't already started writing her maid of honor speech. Santana feels conflicted about the way her two friends are acting; she thinks that maybe they're both hurting a little more than they want to admit, considering they're blatantly pretending everything is okay, but she's also wondering if Rachel and Sam are going to get together (and how that happened before she had the chance to reevaluate her own growing feelings for the blonde).
Hey guys! I'm still working on my other stories, but this is something I've been sitting on for a while and I thought maybe you guys would like it! Let me know in the comment sections and be sure to also let me know what you would like to see happen!