A/N So this is a quick-ish story spawned from a dream I had last night ... Weird, I know, I have such a messed up mind. I just thought it would be funny to see what happened at the Doctors 1000th birthday! Obviously mayhem, knowing him/them! So... Anywhoo, I hope you enjoy it, and if you'd like to please review or check out my other stories. Shameless propaganda I know! ;) oh, and sorry for calling them/him by their numbers, but with all these "Doctors" its uber confuzzling"
Ooh, and there's a virtual cookie for anyone who can name me all the "episodes" I sent 11 too :) Or for anyone who deciphers my number pattern ...
Disclaimer: To the tune of Can't touch this
Unlike the people,
At the BBC,
I'm disclaiming this story,
So you can't sue me!
I may be writing fanfic,
But I still want you to know,
That I don't own,
No characters,
No matter where I go!
Can't touch this! Etc ... :D
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"There!" Said 11, to nobody in particular, unless the TARDIS counts, "That's the last one done!" He shuddered at his dry tongue and the taste of envelope glue. Now I should be around about the 15th century, in ... Ooh, where was it again? Ah, thats right! Me-hi-co! I was so young back then ... So arrogant ..."
The TARDIS groaned loudly, bringing the Doctor back from his reminisce.
"We've landed! Thanks old girl." He said fondly, rubbing the coral walls of his precious machine.
Bursting out the doors, he ran straight up to a local native.
"Hello there! You look like a wonderful chap! There will be a man passing through here soon! Tall, white haired, got a cane, dressed funnily, but not like me!" He said, realising the main suspicious gaze was cast on him. "Anyway, would you be a good chap and give this to him?" He handed the man a bright blue envelope, so blue there was only one way to describe it. TARDIS blue.
The man cautiously took the parcel, and nodding slowly backed away from the intruder and his magic box. Maybe he's a god, he thought, for only the god's have magic, and he might be angered if I do not follow his commands! He hastily bowed, and ran off through the jungle.
"I always did like those natives, even when they tried to worship me ..." 11 mused. "But I must press on, 9 more stops to make!" Grinning boyishly, he disappeared inside the blue box, and with a Vvrorp-Kssht-Dom it dematerialized from existence.
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2070, The Moon.
A familiar blue box, oddly out of place, landed. A head poked out, checking where it was. It was followed by a body, dressed in tweed.
"Who on Moon are you?" Snorted a familiar, if unfriendly face.
"Ah, Hobson! What a displeasure it is to see you again!"
"How have you managed to enter a restricted Moonbase facility? Are you even authorised? And do I even know you?"
"Not yet, but you will," the man replied cryptically. "In the mean time, you wouldn't mind delivering this for me, would you? 3 men and a woman are going to come along in about, ooh, half an hour say? Yeah, sounds about right! If you could just give this," He thrusted a startlingly blue envelope towards the man, the exact same shade his box was. "To one of them, the short one with the bushy hair, probably a hat, and, oh yeah, a recorder!" The man beamed.
"I certainly do not see why I should partake in any of your absurd indulg-"
"Well, here's the deal. I'll remove this blue box from your premises if you agree to deliver this message"
"Well, I don't see how I can trust this stowaway ..."
"Fine then, I'll have to leave this blue box right where it is ..."
"Fine! Bushy hair you say? Done! Now just take this monstrosity ..."
But the man was already gone, leaving nothing but a faint breeze and an odd noise.
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The shocked guard stood there.
This was a high security prison. A blue box couldn't just appear. Literally. Materialised from thin air. He was even more surprised when a man strolled out with an air of nostalgia.
"I remember this place! That god awful cell! Ha, I never thought I'd be back here!" He noticed the trembling guard with his gun trained firmly on him. "Erm, your not going to use that are you? I'd hate to regenerate on my 1000th birthday! Where'd the fun in that be? I just wanted to deliver mail to one of the inmates!"
"Sir, how did that blue box just-"
"Oh never mind that! I've got far more important things to do! Like this," He said, rummaging around and producing an envelope from a pocket that was far too small for it. "If you could just run along and give this to him. Um, tall, big hair, foppish ..." He listed, gesturing wildly with his hands. "Bit arrogant, and should be with a nice blonde lady. Know the one? Good, off you pop now" Giving the unfortunate guard a push and dropping the letter into his hands.
Grudgingly the guard walked off. Then he stopped, and remembered something.
"Sir, what's your name?" He called down an empty corridor filled with nothing but a breeze.
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I stepped out, savouring the beating sun and the feel of sand beneath my feet. The perfect occasion to wear my fez. It was 1911, if I remember, and I stood, gazing out over the Egyptian pyramids.
"Excuse me sir?" I looked up, shielding my eyes with my hand. "Can I interest you in a lovely camel? They are very cheap and make the perfect pet!" The small Egyptian tradesman looked up at me, grinning with all of his three teeth.
I glanced over at one of the camels who raised its lip at me before sending a shower of spit globules my way. Great.
"No thanks," I muttered, "But you could do me a favour my friend. How about earning some cash?"
"I don't do dangerous dealings sir, unless the price is very good ..." He said shiftily.
I smiled, pulling out another blue envelope, "Nothing too dangerous! Just deliver this to a bloke who'll be passing through. You won't miss him, all teeth and curls, and that scarf! And if you do, the rewards are great" I tossed him a gold artefact with some blue stone embedded in it at him. It was probably enough that he'd never have to sell camels again.
His lit up as he caught the trinket. "Of course sir, I shall not fail you!" And he hurried away in the direction of the pyramids.
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The butler opened the door.
"Hello there, I was wondering if you could tell me the date!"
Obviously another nutter.
"It is the 10th of June in the year of our Lord 1925, is there something I can assist you with?"
"June, the old girl was spot on again," The man mused before flashing the butler a smile and continuing, "I believe tomorrow a man will come and visit, blonde hair, looks like a cricketer, celery stick .. I never did understand the celery ... You can't miss him!"
"And, sir?" The butler patiently prompted.
"Well, could you deliver this to him? Thanks, it would mean a lot!"
"Of course sir, is there anythi-"
But the man was gone.
A faint noise was heard in the distant.
The butler sighed and closed the door.
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Varos, Cetes.
A rebel runs through the street, looking terrified over his shoulder. And smack-bang into a blue box. A blue box in the middle of the street.
A man pokes his head out, wordless thrusting a blue square at him.
"A man's coming. He'll stand out. Mismatched clothes. Blonde curls. I'm trusting you to deliver this message to him."
"Is this part of the rebellion?"
"It is vital."
-#-
The Doctor closed the door before bursting out laughing. The look on that poor boys face. At least he knew it would get to his sixth self though.
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11 was lost. Utterly and hopelessly lost. How hard was it to find someone in Iceworld? The last time he had checked the planet Svartos was full of life. He turned, hoping at least to find himself back where the TARDIS was, but instead was bowled over by a man wearing an off white jacket and a hat. 11 groaned inwardly. All he could do was hope not to cause a paradox.
"Sorry there, are you okay? I'm afraid I was rather distracted!"
"oh yes, I'm fine..."
There was a moments pause.
"Do I know you?"
"Um, no, no, I don't think we've ever met, but we have this mutual friend you see, and they sent me to give you this letter." 11 gave 7 the blue envelope.
"Interesting choice of colour. Are you sure we haven't met, you're oddly familiar. And who's this mutual friend, eh?"
"Just, someone, who you have, will, met, meet ..."
"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"
But the stranger in tweed had vanished.
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"Good bye Doctor," Grace Holloway said sadly, stepping away from the wonderful man hse'd only just met.
"Good bye Grace,"
He stepped away, about to enter the TARDIS when a sharp corner dug into Grace, forcing her to remember.
"Wait! Doctor!" She fished out the blue envelope. "I was told to give you this!"
8 turned, his piercing blue eyes scanning the envelope before him.
"What did he look like?"
"Tweed is the only word that can describe him."
"... I don't think I know him ..." 8 shrugged before flashing a boyish grin at Grace and running into the TARDIS. Grace caught one last "Good bye Grace" before the blue box disappeared, taking the most extraordinary man (if he could be called that) with it.
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9 had lost too much. Jabe had just burst into flames. That amazing tree woman, who had trusted him blindly, was now dead. They all died. The blade before him spun faster and faster in its pathetic attempt to combat the rising heat. Suddenly it slowed. How?
9 spun round to see a tall, tweed clad fellow holding down the lever long enough for 9 to hop across; flick the switch and return through the death-trap fans.
"Who are you?" 9 asked suspiciously
"A... a friend"
"Do you want something or what?"
"You always were too rough around the edges..."
"And whats that supposed to mean? You don't know about the-"
"All too well."
"Are you a-"
"No time for that, we can talk later. This is what I came here to give you." 11 gestured to a blue envelope in his hand.
9 reached out for it and took it, studying it carefully.
"What is this, some kind of invitation?"
But his words fell on nothing but silence, the ears meant to hear them, long since gone.
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A blue light shone in the Doctors eye.
"Species identified: Alien!"
"Yes, but ..."
"You are too be held prisoner under the 17th commandment of the Shadow proclamation!"
"But all I wanted to do was deliver this letter! I literally just landed here! I was wondering if you could help me out in that department. Would you mind dropping it off to a bloke round here? Tall, skinny, brown sticky uppy hair, pinstriped ... Oh ... And shoeless."
"Why should the Judoon follow these instructions? We have been sent here to discover the plasmavore!"
"Let's just say this bloke might lead you to it ... Not that I'd know anything about that." A blue envelope was slipped into the Judoon's huge leather glove. His tiny rhino eyes stared at the blue envelope this stranger had given too him.
He raised his head, ready to ask another question, and yet he and the blue box behind him was gone. Nothing would have told him it was there in the first place if it wasn't for a fading noise and a slight breeze. Still though, he might as well deliver it, especially if it led the Judoon force to the criminal plasmavore.
Snorting, the Judoon continued on its way.
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11 ran into the TARDIS, laughing at confusing yet another person from his past. He was fortunate though, he'd got away with only 1 timeline cross. Now he just had to hope all the letters found their way to their recipients. In the meantime, 11 had shopping to do ...
A/N Next chapter involves shopping and letter opening ... Ooohh ...
~FezBanana