Kelly could only watch in horror as the two trucks collided. "Mayday! Mayday! Truck 81 and Truck 66 have collided." He radioed franticly. Matt! Oh God Matt. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't lose Matt too.
Years of training were the only thing that allowed Kelly to appear calm and give orders. Inside he was falling apart. He didn't want to be Lieutenant Severide right now. He wanted to be able to ignore everything and go to Matt. But he couldn't.
He orders Mills and Capp to help the other truck while he and Newhouse help their guys. Kelly had never climbed anything quicker in his life. "Matt? Matt are you okay?" He could see Matt moving.
"I'm fine. Mouch is hurt." Emotions battled within Kelly. Relief that Matt seemed okay. Fear that he really wasn't. Matt would put everyone else in front of himself even if he was dying.
Matt was woken up by loud screams coming from the room next to his. "Kelly…" He got up and ran to Kelly's room. This wasn't hardly the first nightmare. But he'd never heard Kelly screaming like this.
Kelly was thrashing around frantically. And it wasn't Shay he was calling for. "Matt! Matt!" He sobbed frantically.
Oh. "Kelly wake up." Matt tried to shake him but couldn't get close enough. "Kelly wake up!"
Kelly couldn't hear. He was lost in his nightmare. "Not him too. Please not Matt." He begged.
"Kelly!" Matt shook him frantically, dodging swinging fists. "Wake up!" The minutes passed as Matt tried desperately to free his friend from his nightmare.
Finally Kelly bolted up with a terrified cry. Scared blue eyes found Matt and he immediately hugged the other man. "Not you too. Andy. Shay. Not you too." You're all I have left.
"I'm okay Kelly." Matt assured him. "I'm right here."
Kelly let out a desperate sob and pressed his lips to Matt's. He was pleading without words. Pleading for Matt to show him that it was okay. That he hadn't lost someone else. He poured everything he had into the kiss.
Matt didn't even think before he responded. He kissed Kelly back. There wasn't any other option. Kelly was offering him everything with this kiss. How could Matt possibly reject him?
Kelly's hand were shaking. But he was still so very gentle as he touched Matt. He tenderly explored Matt's body. Everything was a revelation. Feeling the warmth of his skin, the soft exhalation of his breathing. Hearing the quiet moans, his name said in a reverent way no one had ever said it before. All of these things soothed the ache in Kelly's soul even if they didn't completely erase it.
But when his hands began to stray lower he stopped. He wanted this. Oh how he wanted this. He couldn't understand how he'd never realized it before. There isn't anyone who knows him like Matt. No one he trusts as much as Matt. How can he not want him?
But if they do this there will be no going back. He's never made a relationship last. What if they do this and he screws up? What if he lost Matt not to death but to his own failings?
Matt kissed him gently drawing him out of his head. "You don't need to worry about that." He knew why Kelly was afraid. "I want this too. No matter what happens I'll keep fighting for us. There isn't anything you can do to push me away."
There's so much Kelly wants to say to Matt. I need you so much. Don't ever let me go. I love you. He can't say them yet. So he says it the only way he knows how. And Matt's eyes tell him that he knows. He's never going to lose this.