Disclaimer: None of it is mine u_u

"My beloved darling! How do you fare?" Chrom whipped his gorgeous blue bangs out of his eyes and called out to the love of his life.

"Oh Chrom, it's been ever so long since we last saw each other," his wife giggled as he swept her up in his arms and planted a kiss on her cheek. "I've missed you so!"

"As have I, my darling," he replied grandly. "But please, my dear Maiden, let us not talk of the sorrowful days for which we have been parted. For now that we are finally united once more we can be married in a fortnight!" He dropped to his knees and procured a ring. "What say you, my love?"

Maiden shivered with pleasure. She had no idea what had caused such a grand lord to fall in love with her, a generic and ordinary girl, but whatever it was, she was glad for it. "Why wait so long, my dear? Can we not be married tomorrow?" she asked.

His brow furrowed. "Ah, that is what I would have wished for, but Lissa reminded me that there are official invitations to send, exalted guests to invite who would feel snubbed if they weren't, priests needed to officiate – it's the burden that comes with my station," he sighed melodramatically. "Forgive me, my dear!"

She pressed a hand to his chest. "All is forgiven, my love. I should have known that there would be such roadblocks to our love when I chose to love one as dignified as you."

Behind her, Sully noiselessly mimed throwing up, Lissa gagged in an unladylike manner, Maribelle shook her head disapprovingly, and Virion sighed. "Even I could not match such a performance! It's a fine shame when Prince Chrom treads on my title as the most charming man of Ylisse," he exclaimed.

Chrom ignored him and stared deeply into his true love's eyes. "Remember the day we first met, my love? We were saving your village from bandits."

She looked back, enraptured by those bright blue orbs. "I remember! I remember!"

Alex jerked back, staring in shock at the facebook chat he had been having. He couldn't believe what he was reading! But his fingers were quickly back on the keyboard, rapidly typing out a reply.

"You did what?"

His friend, Jasper, quickly affirmed what he had been dreading. "I didn't let Chrom socialize with anybody," Alex read, accompanied with a giant "LOL". "He kept marrying the people I wanted to marry."

Rolling his eyes, Alex typed his reply. "You know you can only marry one person, right...?"

"I can still make them all love me." That was typical Jasper for you, Alex thought. He read on. "And then choose one at the end and break all of their hearts hahaha."

"Why are you my friend?" Alex replied sarcastically. He was a little bit serious, though. Sometimes Jasper could be weird. "Anyways, just warning you that Chrom marrying this random chick is going to have some badddd consequences," he stressed.

"Whatevs," Jasper responded. "I can deal with them when I have to."

One week later, Alex leaned back in his chair contentedly. "Well, now I can say 'I told you so'," he murmured to himself. On his computer screen was a flashing red facebook message.

"Help me!" Jasper had typed in all capitals. "I can't get anywhere! Lucina's such a terrible character. Why does she suck so much..."

He smirked. "Nothing I can do," he typed back. "It's your fault for getting Chrom to marry the maiden."

A/N: I really wanted to do this in chat format, but FFn rules don't allow that =/ Also, I decided to split Matchmaking Woes into another story, because the formatting changes so drastically starting from this chapter on.