The Awkwarderest Moment
Yes, 'tis I, J1hbk! I've come out of my yearlong (don't quote me on that) hiatus to bring you this, an original story by me, J1hbk. However, if you haven't yet learned the definition of 'genitals', or if the word 'penis' means nothing to or even bewilders you, you are not advised to be read this story. Why don't you go read the K to K+ stories in the other sections of this site, or maybe even check out for entertainment.
Disclaimer: Pokemon and all its franchises do not belong- wait, is this even necessary anymore? I mean, seriously, this is , for crying out loud! We're all fans of Pokemon and we use this site solely for entertainment purposes only! It's not as if we make money from stories like Nintendo does!
Anyways... enough ranting, I think you came here to read a story, right? Right. Storytime!
It was yet another day in the life of Ash Ketchum. Another boring, uneventful day, that would end in a couple of hours. So, having nothing else to do, he went upstairs into the attic and just, well, looked around for something to do. The first thing he found was a pokeball. THE pokeball. It was the pokeball he had played with that one summer…
6-year-old Ash and Gary were in a baseball field playing catch with the aforementioned pokeball. They got bored of the game after a while, so one of them decided to go and get a bat.
"Yeah!" Gary yelled triumphantly. "Bet you can't hit farther than that! Heheh."
"Oh yeah?" Ash retorted. "I can hit the ball over the fence. I bet I can even hit it into Johto!"
"Yeah right, Ketchup," smirked Gary.
Ash gritted his teeth at that comment and turned his hat around. Things were about to get serious.
"You ready, Ketchup?"
"Just throw the ball already!"
"Tch, fine," Gary said.
Ash watched the ball, eyes focused, just like how his dad had taught him to do, before the accide- No! Don't think about that! Focus! he told himself.
Gary threw the ball, and it started to curve, Ash noted. Wait until it gets a little bit closer before you swing, he told himself. Now! Swing!
CRACK!The ball flew over the pitcher's mound, then second base, then the outfield…
"YES! I told you I could hit it over the fence!"
But that one moment of victory was shattered by a CRASH followed by the sound of screaming coming from… his house?
The two boys took one panicked look at each other, then both started running in the direction of the screams. When they got to Ash's house, Mrs. Ketchum was out in the yard, looking at the gaping hole in kitchen window. When she heard the two boys arrive on the scene, she shot them a look demanding an explanation. When they started making excuses involving aliens, she stopped them and said to Ash, "Okay. I want the truth. Now."
Ash opened his mouth to say that he did it, but Gary beat him to it.
"I'm sorry, Mrs Ketchum."
Ash looked incredulously at his friend in disbelief.
"Me and Ash were playing with a pokeball we found, and I guess I might have hit the ball a little too hard. Sorry Mrs. Ketchum."
"Oh! Well then. I will. Talk to your grandfather about it. Just be. Um, more careful next time you two are playing." she said hesitantly. "Or I could have stronger windows in the future. And now I have to clean up the mess in the kitchen. Ugh." she muttered to herself as she went into the kitchen.
"Why did you do that?" Ash asked.
"Well," replied Gary, it wouldn't be fair for you to get in trouble for something I was daring you to do. Besides, that's what friends are for, right?"
Ash put his arm over his friend's shoulders. "I suppose so, buddy."
"Ahh, good times," Ash sighed. "Good times. Eh? What's this?"
He picked up a small envelope that was in the corner of the attic. There was nothing written on the outside. Getting more curious by the minute, he opened it up to find…
A birth certificate? Ashley Satoshi Ketchum, it read. The birthday was even the same as his! Who was this Ashley Ketchum? Whoever it was, he was going to find out.
How? By asking...
"Hey mom, what's this?"
Ash's mother, Mrs. Ketchum, was in the living room, folding clothes while watching TV. "What's what?" she asked.
Ash brought out the birth certificate and showed it to his mother. "W-where did you find this?" she asked, shocked.
"In the attic," he answered. "Why?"
"Oh, I was hoping you would never find this," his mother sighed.
"Why? or more importantly, why not?"
Delia Ketchum looked out the window for a minute, then reached into the envelope and took out the paper. "This," she said. "Is a birth certificate."
Ash stared at the paper. "Well that's one question answered," he said, somewhat relieved. "But whose is it?" A sudden realization hit him. "OH! Do I have a twin sister? I have a twin sister, right? I'm not an only child, right? I'm a-"
Delia put her hand to stop her son before he got his hopes up. "Ash," she began. "This isn't your sister's birth certificate. It's not even your cousin's. It's…" she said slowly. "It's your birth certificate."
"Wh-what?" he stuttered. "B-but it says that the gender is female on that!"
"Well, Ash," Mrs. Ketchum was slowly thinking about how she should break it to him. "When you were born…"
"…Yes?"
"The doctor that helped couldn't find a…" she struggled to say it.
"A what?"
"He couldn't find your…" Mrs. Delia Ketchum's voice got softer and softer.
"A what, mom?"
Now her voice was barely above a whisper. "He couldn't find your penis."
"…"
"Ash?"
"…."
"Honey?"
"…So you thought I was a girl because you couldn't see my dick?" Ash finally got out. "Wtf, mom."
"I'm sorry, dear. I know all boys are proud of their… package, but don't be discouraged, honey, I'm sure it'll grow big and strong. Like your father's! Why, his was-"
"Okay, mom. Conversation. OVER."
"Ash is a really uncommon name. I've never heard it used as a name before," Iris pondered thoughtfully.
"…"
"So do you know why your parents named you-"
"I don't want to talk about it."
Well? Should I continue writing stories, or have I lost my flair?
Questions/comments/concerns? Review box is open 24/7! Replies not guaranteed.
