[A/N: I changed my mind. I've decided that I am going to continue this. I felt inspired. xD
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ or anything else that this fic makes fun of. If you find that I have poked fun at your genre of fics, please feel free to be offended. ]
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Somewhere in a galaxy far, far away…
Wait.
Well, the galaxy is far, far away, depending on how you look at it, and despite how, in retrospect, that sounds remarkably similar to the beginning of Star Wars, this is my story to tell, and I'm stickin' to it.
Anyway, in this galaxy that is far, far away, a dark and secretive congregation was being held. Of course it has to be dark and secretive; I doubt any plot for revenge or for taking over the universe would be held in broad daylight in a pet store or anywhere equally cheerful and full of furry animals, unless those furry animals are, in fact, vicious beasts which will be used for taking over the universe, which is ironic because this tale does indeed include a very large—respectively, of course—furry animal that has something to do with revenge and taking over the universe, but I digress. The point is that this congregation was dark and secretive and not at all cheerful.
This meeting, which was dark and secretive, was being held in the thickest part of the Hairy Woods on the planet Roverus. A being, whose identity will for now not be revealed, had his arms held up in the air, gesturing to his enormous audience to be silent.
"Yes!" he shouted over the noise, waving his arms wildly about. "Yes, I know you are all outraged!" The crowd roared about how outraged it was. "But we must maintain order! Listen to me!"
The crowd did not listen. After several minutes of waiting for the crowd to shut up, which it did not, the being reached over and grabbed one of the large brown stalks that was growing out of the ground and pulled on it as hard as he could. An extremely loud howling noise rang out around them and the ground shifted under their feet. The crowd shouted in alarm, but at least it finally settled down when the ground was once again stable.
"Now that I have your attention, I shall tell you why I have gathered you all here," the one who seemed to be, or at least was trying to be, in charge said. "We must rise and avenge Lord Frieza!"
The crowd cheered in boisterous agreement.
"We have discovered that those responsible for the downfall of our Lord currently inhabit a planet called… Earth!"
At these words, the crowd growled its disapproval.
"We will make our way there now! In fact! We are already on our way there now!"
At this, the crowd cheered once again.
"And I, Alef, will lead us to victory!"
After that, the crowd was once again rampant. That night, over four-hundred fires were started and one hundred and thirty-nine of these beings lost their lives in the ensuing celebration.
And thus, our story begins. Actually, not our story, but their story, "they" not being the members of the dark and secretive meeting, but those who will be introduced in the next chapter.