THis is my first Dresdenvers fic, and my first song fic.
First off, this fic was deleted because it was a script. But it's not. It's just a song fic about Thomas. A character sketch.
I lost the reviews i got, so thanks to those who first reviewed it.
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WHen i was watching WITCH, and heard this song, i was instantly reminded of Thomas, cuz he's the same. SO i got this. It's told in his perspective, and it's abot his life, his battle with the Demon within himself.
Title: THe Demon in Me
Pairing: Thomas/Justine hints
Warnings: up to White Knight
Rating: PG for the most
Genre: general/songfic
SUmmary: THomas thinks about his battle with his Hunger
Disclaimer: I dont own the Dresden FIles, they belong to Jim Butcher. I also dont own the song "THe Demon in Me" was written by Jon Weisman.
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Didn't know why I couldn't fly
Didn't want to be stuck on the ground
I wanted to soar across the sky
But something was holding me down
WHen I first thought i had killed the woman I loved, I was devistated. and even after finding that I hadn't really killed Justine, I couldnt be near her. She now carries the Protection, which is for the best. It's a small price to pay for to keep her safe from me. Seeing her so frail, an old woman in a 21 year old's body. Im horrible.
What had me cower in fear?
What was it I couldn't see?
The answer near, but so unclear
I was fighting the demon in me
The demon in me
The demon in me
The battle weird, over all that I feared
I was fighting the demon in me
I couldnt let it happen again. I cannot allow my self to get close to someone, or feed to deeply. I cant take it; if I end up hurting someone again, if i take too much. Fighting my instincts to take what was there, ripe for the taking. Fighting my Hunger.
He fell on me when I was weak
Made me feel so lazy and dumb
He talked to me deep in my sleep
My mind and my soul overcome
Once I dreamt of "him." My HUnger, the demon that lives in me, that IS me. I never saw "his" face, but I beleive it had my own, only empty. The cold souless white eyes. He called me weak, taunting at how I nearly killed Justine, and how I should just let "him" take what was his, the life energies. After I wondered, could "he" be right? Why WAS I fighting it?
I started to just let him win
I decided to just let it be
It was up to me not to give in
I was trapped by the demon in me
The demon in me
The demon in me
My head in a spin, my strength wearing thin
I was trapped by the demon in me
One Halloween, while Harry was fighting the evil of the hour (with a 65 billion year old dinosaur no less!) I was else where. I was suposed to deliver a message to the Wardens, but instead I ran into the Erlking. He called me a "hunter," sensing my Hunger. He let me ride with him, and I didnt fight against it. I fed, drawing on the surunding energies. I took my fill for once, tired of living on a "one bite a week." And for once, I felt powerful. More powerful than I was living off of Justine.
Asked myself, what did I want?
Kick back or just go for broke?
My dreams continued to haunt
I'd get close – then the demon said choke
But afterward, I found that I didnt like this power. It was too adictive. The energies I stole during the Hunt were diferent than the norm. I could sense things. I worried that it would e addictive, so I fought. I didnt want to turn into the other's in the Court. I was different. I wouldnt allow my HUnger to rule over me, turning me into a monster.
Somehow you gotta step up
Stop buying excuses for free
So I went face-to-face, laid claim to my space
And rocked the demon…
I had begun thinking. THere had to be a way, to get a job away from people; so women dont pounce on me because I cant control my lure. I worked as security at an old warehouse, and eventually made enough money to make a better living. I had to think, what could I do? I came up with an idea, to become a hairdresser. A GAY hairdresser. It made sense for the job, but it also made me "unatainable." WOmen wouldnt pounce on me, thinking I was a queer.
The demon in me
The demon in me
I recovered my spark, got free of the dark
And I rocked the demon in me
The demon in me
I rocked the demon in me…
Thru the boutique, I found a way, thru shampooing women's hair, I could feed. Taking small "sips" of their life, barely making a dent more than a cigarete would, mainly leaving them in a semi-post-coital state of mind. And eventually, it all added up. Finally I was in full control. I no longer had to feel empty. I had a healty living, plenty of money; an anoying brother; I was "welcomed" back in to the House. And Justine was getting healthier. Thankfully I didnt do her lasting damage. Life couldnt get any better, could it?
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"The Demon in Me" is from WITCH, y this guy Matt. he was posesed by this evil demon named Shagon, and he fought for control of his body back. When i heard the song, i thought "this is SO THomas!!'
SOme parts are a bit akward, im a bit out of practice, and this IS my first songifc. please no flames.
an the 'cigarete' thing... im just making a simple comparasin really.
oh, and to hear the song, just go to youtube and search "Demon in me" look for a guy with blue hair, or with a golden mask