The Secret Diary of Anthony J. Crowley (aged 6002 and 5/6)
15th October, 2002:
Forgot meeting with Aziraphale, who got rather snippy, and has given me this book in which to keep track of the days. Attempted to explain pointlessness of endeavour, but to no avail. Thus, am keeping book under threat of paying for dining. Hate the Angel. Require milk, light bulbs, and sump oil.
10:30 am: In attempt to cheer self up, brought about ugly fight between young lovers in park. Hahaha.
10:32 am: Vaguely remorseful. Why? Also, forgot to purchase milk, light bulbs, sump oil.
10:55am: Elevenses. Feel v. much better.
11:15 am: Nap.
Noon: Lunch. Alone. Hate the Angel.
One-ish: Caused massive traffic gridlock on way home. Much shouting. V. tiring. Nap.
3:06 pm: Nothing on telly, except Blue Peter. Which reminds me: monthly report for the Dark Prince of Pain due tomorrow. Will start as soon as Blue Peter finished.
3:10 pm: Pasta sculpture on Blue Peter v. impressive.
3:30pm: Nap.
7:54: Note slipped under door from Aziraphale (why does he fear the ansaphone?), asking if I would like to do dinner. Will snub.
7:55: Angel's handwriting looks v. apologetic. Considering relenting.
7:56: No. Must do report for Hades, else may lose parking privileges again. Besides, still miffed at Angel. Will not relent. Will not go out. Will stay home and work.
1:05893243483whocares? : Waaheeeyyyylove the Angle. Angle luvverly. Mmm.Noprollem with wrritng for tmoorow. Writit in mrning. Bloodygooood.
16th October, 2002:
7am: Mmmgk.
8am: Ahhhh...need water.
9am: Got up. Phoned Emma Thompson for appointment on Friday. Lovely girl. Nap.
9:06: Realised should be doing report. Will have brief snooze first.
Noonish: Lunch.
Noonish-oh-four: Threw up lunch. Why feeling seedy? Must be getting old. Will check birthday.
Noonish-oh-eight: Six days till birthday! Will have small drink to celebrate. Then will do report.
1:44: Nap.
17th October 2002:
7:02am: Oh, shit.
15th October, 2002:
Forgot meeting with Aziraphale, who got rather snippy, and has given me this book in which to keep track of the days. Attempted to explain pointlessness of endeavour, but to no avail. Thus, am keeping book under threat of paying for dining. Hate the Angel. Require milk, light bulbs, and sump oil.
10:30 am: In attempt to cheer self up, brought about ugly fight between young lovers in park. Hahaha.
10:32 am: Vaguely remorseful. Why? Also, forgot to purchase milk, light bulbs, sump oil.
10:55am: Elevenses. Feel v. much better.
11:15 am: Nap.
Noon: Lunch. Alone. Hate the Angel.
One-ish: Caused massive traffic gridlock on way home. Much shouting. V. tiring. Nap.
3:06 pm: Nothing on telly, except Blue Peter. Which reminds me: monthly report for the Dark Prince of Pain due tomorrow. Will start as soon as Blue Peter finished.
3:10 pm: Pasta sculpture on Blue Peter v. impressive.
3:30pm: Nap.
7:54: Note slipped under door from Aziraphale (why does he fear the ansaphone?), asking if I would like to do dinner. Will snub.
7:55: Angel's handwriting looks v. apologetic. Considering relenting.
7:56: No. Must do report for Hades, else may lose parking privileges again. Besides, still miffed at Angel. Will not relent. Will not go out. Will stay home and work.
1:05893243483whocares? : Waaheeeyyyylove the Angle. Angle luvverly. Mmm.Noprollem with wrritng for tmoorow. Writit in mrning. Bloodygooood.
16th October, 2002:
7am: Mmmgk.
8am: Ahhhh...need water.
9am: Got up. Phoned Emma Thompson for appointment on Friday. Lovely girl. Nap.
9:06: Realised should be doing report. Will have brief snooze first.
Noonish: Lunch.
Noonish-oh-four: Threw up lunch. Why feeling seedy? Must be getting old. Will check birthday.
Noonish-oh-eight: Six days till birthday! Will have small drink to celebrate. Then will do report.
1:44: Nap.
17th October 2002:
7:02am: Oh, shit.