Mommy Killer (Updated Version)
Hello, everyone. I have come to explain why I cannot stand the sight of blood. You see, the blood is my mother's and the weapon is mine.
I will now tell you my story, about how I killed my mother. My father was surprisingly forgiving of me; I expected him to hate me forever for what I did to my mother. My sister was eventually disowned for falling in love with a beorc; and my father seemed not to forgive her for killing my brother. But he forgave me for killing my mother.
My mother was the only dragon in the recorded history of Goldoa to have three successful pregnancies. Miscarriages are incredibly common, so most dragon women go childless, and even those who do have a child stop at one. My mother had my brother and the birth worked perfectly. She had my sister and the birth worked perfectly.
And then she didn't stop.
She wanted a third child.
She had me and I killed her.
The citizens mourned for a dozen years—they did not have the patience for much longer. But my father mourned from my birth to his death. He was so forgiving toward me. He hated me. I could tell.
My brother was the model child; the one he was always telling us to be more like. Still, my father forgave my brother for having sex out of wedlock; which was something that he had always told us was not acceptable. He forgave him because his fiancée had gotten pregnant. Motherhood was a rare gift, and one that my father was thankful for. At the point of the announcement, he told Rajaion and Ena that he hoped for the best. He gave me a glance, and I looked down. He quickly shifted his gaze. He didn't want me to notice, but I did.
When Almedha's child was taken prisoner my father sent Rajaion to help him. Rajaion was the model child so it made sense—except that he was the crowned prince, and the journey was dangerous. I offered to go in his stead. I would have expected him to say no, but he didn't say anything at all. He didn't even acknowledge that I'd spoken. Rajaion tried to assure me right before leaving that Father just didn't hear me; he said he could barely hear me himself. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that Rajaion is not always honest. Not like Father.
Father cuts. He criticizes everything and everyone, until you hit his standard. And strangely, the more he likes you the more he criticizes you. Why was he so hard on Almedha? Because she was his favorite. Of the three of us, she looked the most like my mother. I looked enough like her that my father saw her in me too; but he couldn't forget that I was the one who killed her. When Almedha announced that she was leaving, my father disowned her. He did not want her mistake to be publicized. If I did the same thing I expect he would not notice.
He wasn't hard on me. He was easy on me. And what that meant was that he thought I could never reach his standard.
He tried to love me. He wanted to love me. I was his baby. But I'm sure that he couldn't.
Because really, who could love a child who killed his own mother?