DEDICATED: To everyone, but most especially, those that die needlessly and don't even leave an afterimage.
WARNING: Angst, perhaps majorly. Cussing. Duo talks with an L2 accent, which mostly I just imagine as a little bit of everything and kinda hard to understand, so if you're have trouble reading him, there's sorta a "dictionary" down below. However, I would like to suggest trying to read without it, because I think it helps A) the illusion and B) it's really not that hard to understand once you get use to it (at least, I don't think so).
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gundam Wing or anything associated with said anime. However, I am particularly proud of this little piece so if you don't mine… glows with pride
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Afterimage
"A dying solider takes no sides
A dying solider doesn't cry
A dying solider wants the world to see
A chance that died before it could be free
(The Nameless solider – Me)."
-Meiran Change; The Death Bell (GW)
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NOTE: For those of you find Duo's accent too difficult to read, please note that you can find an un-accented version in Chapter 2.
***
A black image is shown, the slight static buzzing. A flash of white and then a picture leaps onto the scream. A young man of around twenty is sitting in front of the camera, lazily sprawled in a chair, messing with something off view. He is wearing a black t-shirt with black jeans and white socks. A long auburn braid trails down his back and falls on his lap, moving with his slight movements. After a few moments, the young man looks up, revealing large violet eyes, a slightly upturned nose, and pale lips pulled up in a quirky grin, all of this giving him an elfin look.
"Heya!" He waves at the camera. "Duo Maxwell 'ere. Ya may 'ave 'eard a'me." He laughs, his head tilting back slightly, and he absently mindedly tosses his braid over his shoulder. "Y~ep! Ex-Gundam pilo' a'Deathscythe'n curren' Preventor," his smile droops slightly before returning, "at yer service. So, yer probably wonderin' wha' I'm doin'. Well, see, the thing is, by the time any a'ya good people see this video, I'm goin' ta be dead." His face is suddenly deadly serious, a strange look for so young a man, and a person can tell that it's not a look that usually inhabits his face. "Yeah, tha's right, I'm dead. Actually, ya should already know tha', 'cause it'll pro'ly be all over the news." He raises his voice mockingly, the cadence of his voice changing completely, "Duo Maxwell died today during his job at the Preventors, trying to defend the world once again. We will all mourn his passing and blah, blah, blah." He shifts in his seat and resumes in a normal voice. "Bullshit. All a'it. An' tha's why I'm 'ere taday, on yer lovely screens. Ta tell ya 'bout 'ow all a'it's complete an' utter bullshit…" A sad smile crosses his face and he looks off-screen; not at someone else but rather as though he was seeing something only he can see. "See, I'm no' doin' this fer me. It's a little pointless ta try'n get revenge when I'm no' goin' ta be there ta enjoy it, innit? So, anyways, the reason tha' I'm doin' this is 'cause a'the other pilots. 'Course, they don' know wha' I'm doin' either an' it's better tha' way." He lets out a sad laugh. "Ther grea' guys, the whole lotta 'em. Very loyal. Ya don' get many people in the world tha' are loyal anymore. But they are." Suddenly looks back at the screen. "An' tha's why I'm doin' this, 'cause they deserve a lot better. 'Cause they deserve ta live."
He shifts to get more comfortable, his braid swinging behind him. "See, the thing is, the gov'ment don' tell ya all tha's goin' on. Sure, they say tha' ther tellin' ya e'erthin' bu' the plain fac' a'the matter is, tha' they don'. So, I'm 'ere ta tell all. Too bad I'm not givin' an interview or I could actually answer some questions. As it is, I'll jus' hafta tell my story like it is, an' ya'll just 'ave ta figure out wha' I don' say." He looks thoughtful for a moment. "I guess the bes' place ta star' would be a' the beginnin', ne? So… now the question is, wha' is the beginnin'? I guess I should star' wit' the fac' tha' durin' the war, all we could think 'bout, when it finally dawned on all a'us that we were goin' ta live, we kinda star'ed talkin', 'bout wha' we wanted ta do wit' our time. Shi' like tha'. And 'ere's the thing. More than anythin' else, we wanted ta live. Jus' live fer ourselves fer once. See, we'd been livin' fer other people fer a long damn time an', frankly, we were ready ta try somethin' new, somethin' different." He suddenly looks intently at the camera, as though he could see through the screen and see the viewers. "See, we didn' ge' the lives like ya'll 'ad. We all came from some fucked up families. Even Quatre. Mos' a'us 'ad ne'er e'en such a thing as a 'ome. All the things all ya people ou' there take fer granted, tha's wha' we wanted. We wanted ta go ta bed in the same bed e'ery nigh'. We wanted ta wake up an' learn 'ow ta make our own breakfas'. We wanted ta find ou' wha' we wanted ta do and then do it." A bitter laugh escapes his lips as his view focuses inwards. "Bu' we didn' ge' any a'tha', now did we? See, the only one tha' wanted ta join the Preventors was Wufei. None a'the res' a'us wanted tha'. We wanted ta go somewhere quie', res' and relax, and mourn our dead. An' we did fer a little while. Then the second war came. Ya'll know what I'm talkin' 'bout. People aren' goin' ta forge' tha' war fer a while. An' we were called back into action. An' we wen'."
He sighs and, though his lips keep grinning, his eyes turn very sad. "An' then the war was over and we were ready ta star' findin' wha' it was we wanted ta be doin'… when the gov'ment decided that we couldn' be trusted." The smile slowly melts from his face as he recalls, "I remember tha' day very well. Ya don' forge' the day the people ya saved stab ya in the back. Ya don' forge' the day all yer dreams mel' aroun' ya. Years a'dreams gone in a spli' second. It's a sad momen' ta live through. Even sadder ta see it 'appen ta the people ya love. Bu' anyway, we were all sittin' in the 'ospital watchin' o'er Heero, 'cause 'e go' real messed up takin' down tha' fortress, an' in walks Lady Une. Y'know, tha' commander lady who used ta work fer OZ. I'll giv' 'er this, she go' straigh' ta the poin'. Tol' us straigh' ou' wha' was 'appenin'." He laughs another bitter laugh. "At leas' they can say tha' much. They didn' bea' aroun' the bush. Tol' us righ' ou' tha' 'cause of 'ow fragile the new peace was, they couldn' trus' us. No' us, who'd saved the peace twice now. Now, we 'ad one a'two choices. We could either go ta prison for a 'undred year sentence, or we could join the Preventors an' work fer them until we were sixty. We were actually s'prised." He bows his head for a moment, hands rubbing at his face as though he could dislodge the memory.
"She lef' us after the news, tellin' us tha' she was givin' us time ta think it o'er. She knew as well as we did, there wouldn' be any thinkin', we knew wha' we 'ad ta choose. We'd be dead or useless by the time we go' ou' a'jail. People are livin' ta be a 'undred and twenty nowadays, bu' tha's only if yer in top condition. At leas' in the Preventors we could sorta 'ave a normal life, live a little bit fer ourselves, an' we'd be ou' sooner. Though ta tell all truth, though we ne'er talked abou' it, I don' think any o' us believed tha' they'd le' us go then, either. Bu' it was better than the alternative. Better than livin' in a cell." His voice turns bitter. "A'course they tol' us we couldn' tell anyone. An' a'course they waited till Wufei was outta the room. So 'e was o'erjoyed tha' we'd "decided" ta join. I think tha' was the firs' time we e'er lied ta one another. It shattered us all, a little bit, I think. An' so we wen' ta work. An' so we 'ave lived fer five years. Bu' it was only a matter a'time before one a'us died. I don' know if ther tryin' ta kill us, or if they really buy into tha' we're invincible. I dunno. All I know is tha' each mission is gettin' more an' more dangerous an' e'eryone knew tha' it was only a matter a'time before one a'us died. Bet they didn' think it'd be me, though."
He suddenly looks stricken, as though he's been talking about his death but it hasn't really hit him. He starts to talk after letting out the saddest little laugh, but it's quiet and it's obvious he didn't plan to say this in front of the camera. "I can' 'elp bu' keep thinkin' abou' all the stuff I wanted ta do after I was free ta live. I wanted ta ge' a dog, or mebbe a ca'. I dunno. I ne'er really e'er go' ta be around one or the other, I guess I wanted ta find ou' which one was fer me. I wanted ta learn how ta cook. I wanted ta open up an orphanage where e'eryone woulda been welcome an' take care a'children like me. There's so much I wanted ta do. So much." His shoulders shake once… twice… though no sound is heard. After a long pause, he finally looks back up, and when he does its obvious that he hasn't been crying, but his eyes are bright with unshed tears.
"An' so 'ere I am, tryin' ta make sure tha' my friends ge' the chance ta do the things they wan' ta do." Another sad smile. "I'm no' askin' fer much. Think a'it as a dyin' man's wish. The only wish an' dream tha'll e'er be granted fer 'im. Set my friends free. E'en if the gov'ment says tha' they wanna be there, don' believe 'em fer a second. Push until ther free. Please. It's bad enough tha' I'm dyin' withou' havin' lived, don' le' my friends. Please. This is the only thing I've… we've… e'er asked from ya. Le' my friends live." He turns away, tears sparkling brightly in his eyes. "An' tha's all I 'ave ta say. I'll le' ya go now. I love ya guys. Y'know who I'm talkin' ta." He turns to the side and messes with something off-view, and the camera goes blank, sucking the last image of Duo Maxwell into blackness leaving only his afterimage on the back of eyelids before even that slowly disappears.
***
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TRANSLATION OF DUO'S ACCENT
'(word) = h(word)
(word)n' = (word)'t
(word)' = (word)t
tol' = told
ta = to
fer = for
ya = you
yer = your
(word)in' = (word)ing
y'know = you know
'cause = because
o'er = over
an' = and
a'(word) = of (word)
s'prise = surpise
outta = out of
ther = they're
dunno = don't know
mebbe = maybe
woulda = would have
e'en = even
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A/N: I'm not sure if this qualifies as a "deathfic" per se. But, in the end, I decided not to put the warning A) just in case it wasn't and B) because it's such a short fic that it seemed kinda pointless and C) there are plenty of hints in the quote and the dedication that somebody is going to die. I hope that reading Duo's dialect wasn't horrible. If it was, let me know and I can go back and change it. Either way, let me know what you think.
Petra Megami Assari