Smell My Feet

by Ssenillek Reh

One-shot for amgglekim's Trick Or Treat Halloween Contest. Bella and Edward have always had the best candy, and Edward's brother Emmett is determined to get his hands on it. Features Shakespeare, fluff, and insane Emmett. Summary sounds lame - oops. XD

Disclaimer: Got it. Don't own Twilight, not Stephenie Meyer. Yet. I also don't own Romeo and Juliet. Yeah, no. I know. Sobfest.

A/N: Watching This Old House with my father is not at all conducive to writing fluff, but I wanted to make an effort to actually get this out before the deadline. Halloween is my second favorite holiday, and I had a lot of fun with this one. Enjoy!

Trick or Treat Halloween Contest

Title: Smell My Feet

By: Kel

Type of Story: A little bit of a trick and a slightly fluffy (sadly not lemony) treat

Character Type: Most likely OOC

Story Type: All-human

POV: Edward

If you are interested in becoming a part of this contest, please contact

kimberbaby (at) yahoo (dot) com

If you would like to see all the stories that are a part of this contest, visit

amgglekim's profile page

-x-

The ringing of the phone interrupted my preparations for the night, and I sighed before setting down the bowl of candy and reaching over to pick the phone off the receiver.

"Hello," I answered a bit distractedly, still counting out the different candy bars and making sure we'd have enough for the numerous trick-or-treaters we'd be having tonight.

"Edward, my man!" Emmett's booming voice responded, boisterous as ever. "How much candy have you stocked up for me this year?"

"Honey?" I heard Bella call from upstairs. "Who is it?"

"It's just Emmett," I yelled back, holding the receiver away from my mouth and rolling my eyes in response to Emmett's choice of greeting. "You're not getting any candy from us, Emmett. What are you, three?"

"Aw, Eddie, don't be like that," Emmett said playfully, and I knew he was pouting. "I'll even come trick-or-treating by your house and everything – I'll beg for it if I have to!"

Emmett had been trying every year for the past five years, without success, to wrangle up some candy from "the house with the best treats." I, personally, always did my best to prevent him from getting any – after years and years of having all my good candy taken by Emmett because he was "the bigger brother and therefore deserved the best," I was loathe to actually let him have any of my candy, when I could now hold my own against him.

Despite Emmett's fixation on our sweets, Halloween was Bella's favorite holiday, and we always went all-out in celebration, decorating the house lavishly and providing the neighborhood kids with the candy best for rotting their teeth out. It was the one holiday, Bella said, where kids had an excuse for extensive trips to the dentist – trips that were completely worth it, in her opinion, never mind the fact that she'd never before had a cavity.

"Emmett," I said, exasperated and impatient, wanting to get back to sorting out the candy before the kids starting making their rounds. "We go through this every year. You are not getting any of our candy. Go pester someone else, for once in your life."

I loved my older brother, I really did, but sometimes he really aggravated me beyond all reason.

"Not this year, little bro." Emmett chuckled. "I've got a good feeling this time. This is the year."

I snorted. "Is that what Alice told you?"

Emmett didn't say anything, and I laughed, not bothering to attempt to hold it in. If Alice said he wouldn't get our candy, then he wouldn't. We had all learned early on to never bet against Bella's crazy little pixie of a cousin.

"Ahh, who cares what Alice thinks," he finally said dismissively. "I'm prepared this year – I'll force that candy from you with the power of my awesome trick-or-treat rhymes! Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something–"

I hung up the phone so I wouldn't have to hear anymore. Grinning wryly, I went back to sorting the candy bars, arranging them nicely in the bowl and recounting them, making sure there were enough for the surprising number of children in the vicinity.

"Edward, are you planning on getting ready any time in the near future? It's almost time for the trick-or-treating to start," Bella's musical voice said from very close behind me; I hadn't even heard her approach.

I smiled to myself, closing my eyes happily as Bella wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling my back to her chest and running her fingers lightly over the muscles of my stomach. I inhaled deeply, trying to reign in my admittedly fragile control, and placed my hands over hers, stopping them from traveling any further south. She giggled mischievously, placing a small kiss on the back of my neck.

"Not now, love," I whispered to her, and I could feel her shiver at the uncontrolled desire present in my voice. "Let's wait until all the little children are done for the night."

"Sounds good," she breathed, and I struggled even further as I heard the emotion in her voice.

I finally turned in her embrace, curious to see her costume for this year, as she refused to tell me what it was (as well as not divulging about my own costume), and my breath caught in my throat. She was dressed elaborately in a regal-looking gown made of red silk, with shoulders that puffed out elegantly and a gold trim lacing the bodice. Her hair was done in small, loose curls, and half of it was pinned up, leaving few strands to frame her lovely face. Expressive brown eyes looked up at me from under the barest hint of dark eye shadow, and her long lashes were enhanced even more with a touch of mascara.

She was so beautiful. I immediately knew who she was dressing up as, and couldn't stop the smile from stretching across my face.

"Did my heart love till now?" I said softly, letting my fingers trail up her sleeve-covered arms; she shuddered slightly. "Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."

A lovely blush filled Bella's cheeks, and she looked down, a small smile playing at the edges of her lips. I pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her, reveling in the warmth of her small body.

"If I profane," I whispered into her ear, continuing to quote our favorite Shakespearean play, "with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this, – my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

Bella giggled softly and pulled away from my arms so she could see my face clearly. "Good pilgrim," she responded just as softly, eyes dancing, "you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this, for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss." She took one of my arms from her waist and held my hand up in her own, twining our fingers together.

I grinned, squeezing her hand gently. "Have saints not lips, and holy palmers too?" I countered. I was having fun with this – reciting the lines of Romeo and Juliet with Bella was strangely enticing, which did nothing for my already tenuous self-control.

"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer." Bella's other hand came up to trace the curve of my lips as she spoke. Her light touch made me shiver slightly, my desire for her almost overwhelming.

"O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; then pray; grant thou, lest faith turn to despair." Let lips do what hands do – God, how I wanted to kiss her…

Bella's eyes twinkled wickedly; I knew she was enjoying this far more than she should have been. "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake."

I unclasped my hand from hers and brought both of my hands up to hold her face between them, running my thumbs over her soft cheekbones. "Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged."

I leaned down swiftly and pressed my lips to hers, and she responded enthusiastically, leading me to believe she was having just as many issues with her control as I was. I deepened the kiss further, one of my hands wrapping around the back of her neck and twirling in her hair while the other trailed down her neck, across her shoulder, down her arm, around her waist, and I pulled her even closer. Our bodies were pressed tightly together, and I was sure she could feel my very prominent arousal.

I groaned in frustration and broke the kiss, knowing that if I went any further, I wouldn't be able to stop. I took in great gasps of air, trying to control my breathing, and noticed with some satisfaction that I wasn't the only one.

"You are so beautiful, my Bella," I murmured once I regained my breath, letting my forehead rest against hers. Her cheeks warmed slightly, and she smiled up at me.

"Your costume is waiting for you on the bed, handsome," she said, reaching up to kiss my nose. "You better hurry, before the kids start showing up."

"On my way," I replied, and with one final, chaste kiss, I dashed up the stairs to our room quickly, now knowing what my costume would be.

Laid out on the bed was the complimentary costume to Bella's – a red outfit with gold trim and a hat, complete with matching boots and… tights.

I groaned, this time in exasperation, but pulled them toward me and started changing. I would gladly be the Romeo to Bella's Juliet any day.

Anything for my Bella.

-x-

No trick-or-treaters had been by the house in about half an hour, so Bella and I decided that we were done for the night – our candy supply was dangerously low as it was. Bella leaned down to blow out the flames from the candles in her creative jack-o-lanterns, and I stood in the doorway silently, enjoying the view she presented me. She straightened up and turned, giving me a mock-affronted look as she caught me staring at her backside. She sauntered up to me, looking deliciously irresistible in her costume, and trailed a finger down my chest, raising an eyebrow suggestively. I tried to hold back the shiver induced by her fiery touch.

"Where were we, O Romeo?" she asked playfully, grinning a teasing grin.

I felt my lips stretch into a grin matching hers, and I snaked one arm around her waist, pulling her body flush up against mine as I reached out with my other to flip the porch light off. Despite the sudden darkness, I could see Bella almost perfectly; the light of the almost-full moon created a glowing halo of light around her profile, and her teeth gleamed at me in perfection.

Deciding not to answer Bella's teasing verbally, I bent down slightly and pressed my lips to hers, reveling in the feel of her soft mouth against mine. She responded enthusiastically, moving her mouth in sync with my own, pressing herself closer in an attempt to mold her body further to mine.

I deepened the kiss, tangling one hand in her dark tresses as the other gripped her waist tightly. We spent minutes simply kissing, tongues dueling together in an enticing dance, and then it was as if a dam broke, and our kiss became urgent, more frenzied as our tongues battled for dominance. My hands roamed across Bella's smooth back, wishing her costume wasn't in the way, and one of her legs wrapped around my knee, pulling my leg between hers.

"Bella," I murmured against her lips, breathing heavily. I didn't want to stop, but… "God, Bella, wait. We need to take this inside."

Her face abruptly pulled back from mine, and I barely made out the red that warmed her cheeks from the realization that we had been ready to go at it on our porch, in plain sight of anyone who cared to look.

"Oops," she said breathlessly, and I couldn't help but chuckle – that had been her line from our very first kiss, when she pulled on me too hard, in an effort to bring me closer, and ended up falling and taking me down with her.

Bella narrowed her eyes slightly at my laugh, and yanked me through the doorway. She slammed the door and pushed me up against it roughly, attacking my mouth with hers, before I could do anything else.

She deepened the kiss quickly this time, and I let out a moan as her hand trailed down my leg, feather-light and dangerously close to my throbbing erection. I growled at her – too far gone to be embarrassed about the noises I was making – and cupped her backside firmly, hoisting her up and forcing her to wrap her legs around my waist. Bella's hands scrabbled at my back, trying to find purchase, before simply gripping my shoulders tightly – I'd probably have bruises the next morning, but I couldn't care less. The slight pain was exquisite, only heightening the pleasure.

After a long while, Bella pulled her lips from mine, greedily gasping in air. My mouth traveled down the expanse of her luscious neck, nipping at it gently, and I could feel Bella's pulse hammering right below her ear. I bit down, swirling my tongue around her jaw in the next moment, and she let out a throaty groan, tilting her head to the side.

Her fingers gripped the tiny hairs at the back of my neck, and I suddenly realized I was walking – I had started toward the couch without any conscious decision being made. I laid Bella down gently, not removing my lips from her creamy skin, and settled myself on top of her, elbows holding up my weight so I wouldn't crush her. She used my hair to pull my mouth back up to hers, and I obliged willingly, kissing her ferociously.

I don't know how either of us held back for as long as we did – it was lucky we made it to the couch.

My fingers teased the neckline of Bella's dress as our lips remained locked, and my hand traveled down to cup at her full breast through her dress, marveling at the feel that, even after all this time, I never got enough of. Bella moaned again, an animalistic sound, and brought one hand to tease at the front of my pants, fingers barely ghosting over my erect member. The moans now came from me, this time in pleasured anticipation, and the hand in my hair dropped to my shirt, ready to pull it off.

We broke apart suddenly when we heard several bumps and bangs outside, accompanied by a loud string of various curses and raucous laughter. I sprang off Bella and pulled her up off the couch, mystified. We almost ran to the door, still gasping for breath from our previous activity, trading confused looks.

Bella got to the door first, as I was a bit more concerned about hiding my arousal than she was, and threw it open unceremoniously. Her furrowed brow raised, trailing higher and higher until it almost disappeared in her hairline, and amused shock was prominent in her eyes.

I got to the door a split second later and was greeted by the sight of my wonderful older brother.

He was dressed darkly, in clothes designed to help him creep around in the darkness, but the effect was somewhat ruined by the yards of fake cobweb draped all around him, successfully tying him to the plastered pillar on our porch. His expression somehow managed to convey sheepishness, incredulity, and frustration at the same time, and it was immediately obvious where the cursing had come from.

Behind him were Rosalie and Alice, his wife and Bella's cousin, leaning on each other for support and laughing their heads off.

I blinked. What the hell?

Bella was able to digest the situation first, though I followed not long after. Soon, we were gasping for breath for an entirely different reason.

Bella had collapsed, using the doorframe as support, and was laughing so hard she couldn't make a sound, let alone breathe. I was sure my laughs could have been heard across town.

It was too funny. Emmett had snuck here, knowing that we hardly ever locked the front door in this safe neighborhood, and planned to steal our candy, but ended up getting caught in the fake cobwebs surrounding the house instead.

Emmett was not as amused as the rest of us; he glared rather unimpressively as we all attempted to regain our bearings. Our laughs eventually tapered off into nothing; Alice and Rosalie took in deep, gasping breaths of air, Bella was wiping tears from her eyes, giggling slightly, and I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to dispel the image from my mind. If I even thought of it, the laughing would start all over again.

I caught Bella's eye as she straightened up, and the mirth there was too great: we both burst into laughter once more, dragging Rosalie and Alice into our hysteria as well.

"It's not funny!" Emmett protested loudly, which only served to strengthen our laughter. "Really, it's not!"

"I told… I told… Emmett, I told you so!" Rosalie cried between spurts of laughter. "Never bet against… against Alice!" Alice squealed, laughing even harder as tears streamed down both of their faces.

"I just won twenty bucks from Jazzy!" Alice exclaimed, and her proclamation made Bella snort, she was laughing so hard, which only made me laugh harder at her hilarity.

Emmett narrowed his eyes at me and Bella, and I could see, through my own tears, the blazing determination in them. "I'm going to get that damn candy, one way or another!" he declared.

Bella, who had calmed slightly enough to speak, responded, "Emmett, no amount of 'trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat' is going to make us give you any candy." She giggled hysterically, pounding her fist against the doorframe.

Wicked amusement twisted Emmett's features. "Bella, you forgot the rest of the rhyme," he retorted.

My laughing died off a bit. What was he planning now?

Whatever it was, I was sure we weren't going to like it.

"It continues," Emmett continued, oblivious to my warning glare, "with, 'if you don't, I don't care, I'll pull down my underwear'!"

Before I had time to comprehend it, Emmett had turned his back to us and pulled down his pants, boxers and all, bending over to give us a perfect view of his ass.

Bella squealed in disgust and pressed her face against my shoulder, and Alice and Rosalie started laughing again, though it was permeated with sounds of disgust from Alice and hollers of encouragement, no doubt made by Rosalie.

I simply squeezed my eyes shut tightly, bemoaning the loss of the thousands of dollars I would lose over the years for the cost of therapy resulting from the sight.

-x-

A/N: Let me know what you think! I'm thinking of constructing a story from this one-shot - any criticism and/or comments are duly noted and extremely appreciated.

PS - Are line breaks being stupid for everyone, or do they just hate me?