I Want to See You

Authors' Note:

Hey, all! This is new territory for me! I've never actually written in this archive before! Hopefully I can get some people to review this, positive or not! Try to be constructive, though.

Anyway, I'll warn you that this story's first part is mostly based on a doujin from my favorite KyouSaya artist, Momoya Chika. So, that means that the first part is a little angst-y, which should have been made obvious by the secondary genre of this fic.

Well, I don't have much else to say here, so I should probably stop talking and let you guys get on with reading, huh?

Have a good read!

It hurts.

I knew that this day was coming. I knew that I should have just kicked her out so I could avoid being in such pain. But I couldn't, all because of one simple wish.

I wanted to see her.

I knew it the whole time… that she was in love with that guy. What's his name…? Kyousuke? Well, I guess it doesn't matter. She loves him, and there's no point getting jealous. After all, there's so much he can give her that I can't. So I have no choice but to smile sadly as I watch her leave.

I remember all those months ago, when she first started coming over.

The fast food restaurant I sat in was nearly empty, as per the usual at the time of day I usually came there. Of course, this only made the food taste that much better. There wasn't anyone to distract me from my food, for one.

"Hey, Kyouko!"

I thought too soon…

I looked to my side with a startled expression, which quickly turned into an annoyed look as I saw who stood not even a foot from me.

Sayaka.

"I heard that you started living on your own!" she continued, her tone sounding slightly annoyed.

I looked at her skeptically, unsure as to how she knew. "Huh? Well, yeah… but how do you know that?"

She replied so jubilantly, I just knew she wanted something. I had no idea what, though. "Madoka told me earlier today! Seriously though, don't be so cold! You should have talked to me about it."

Why does she care? I remember thinking at the time. And what would I tell her, anyway?

"Hey, why don't you stay at my place?"

The words she said sounded simple enough, just like a kind, friendly gesture. I remembered when Madoka found out earlier that day. She tried to get me to stay at her place, but I declined, knowing that Homura would kill me if I did.

"Nah, I'm fine," I remember telling her, a forced smile plastered on my face. "It's easier to be on my own."

My eyes were closed, and the toothy grin on my face looked convincing enough. I was sure she would drop the subject. Of course, I was wrong.

"You know, my parents aren't around right now," I remember Sayaka saying, a weird look on her face. "Being in a large house all by myself… it's gonna be lonely."

Dammit, stop giving me the guilt trip! I remember screaming in my head.

I averted my eyes, trying as hard as I could to resist. Then, all of the sudden, I heard her gasp. I immediately looked over to her, expecting there to be something wrong. Instead, I was met with her face, not five inches away from my own. She had a happy look on her face, which only made me sick to my stomach as I tried to guess what she was planning.

"Ah Ha!" she shouted, scaring the one other customer in the restaurant. "So you're already living there, right? On your own?"

I have a bad feeling about this…

I answered her honestly, though I knew I would probably regret it. "Yeah. It's been about two days, I guess."

"Can I come over?" she asked me, and I could tell that, for some reason, turning her down would have serious repercussions. "You don't mind, right? I can, right?"

So that's what she was after! Pretty transparent, if you ask me.

I averted my eyes from her shining aura of commanding-ness. Even without looking, I could feel it infecting me with the desire to let her do as she pleased. Eventually, I caved. "Fine…"

Since then, she went to my house pretty much every day. She would always come and bring me meals, since she wouldn't let me eat 'junk' all the time. Every time she came, she brought something different.

Over time, my place gradually transformed from a home base where I could sleep into a place I could actually call home. We bought cooking utensils so that she could start cooking over here, making the place even more lively. Of course, I knew it wouldn't last.

Her cooking got better with every passing visit. She got better and better, and even though it made me happy, I knew exactly why she was doing it. It wasn't for me… it was for him. She wanted to practice cooking over at my place, all to have him eat it at some point. If you look at it that way, I'm nothing more than her test subject, a guinea pig for her to test out her cooking on.

On one of Mami's visits, I was confronted with something I knew was true, but didn't want to hear… not yet, anyway.

"Miki-san sure has changed lately, huh?" Mami said absentmindedly, staring out my window with a contemplative look.

"Y'think so?" I asked her, a skeptic look on my face. Even though I acted all innocent, I had a pretty good idea off what she was getting at.

"Can't you tell, Kyouko?" Mami said gleefully, closing her eyes and preparing for a big speech. "Her eyes sine with the radiance of a maiden in love! She…"

I ignored the remainder of her speech, falling into a dark train of thought. Is she an idiot? Mami knows how I feel, yet she still decided to say all this? What's up with her?

"Kyouko? Are you okay?" Mami said, waving a hand in front of my face. I then realized that I had been spacing out for a good three minutes.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry," I told her, before getting back to the topic at hand. "But I thought you all already knew that she liked this Kyousuke guy."

"Maybe so, but she's liked him for a while, and she's never been like this. Don't you think she looks prettier now?" Mami pointed out, looking at me with a weird smile.

"She looks the same to me," I lied, causing Mami's smile to falter.

That's not what I really think. Sorry, Mami, I thought, looking down. My love for Sayaka aside, she really has become prettier. Even still, it's probably still for him.

Of course, I was right. About a day ago, I got a wakeup call, telling me it was time to get real.

"Hey, idiot. Why the heck are you out this late? You're gonna catch a cold," I said, walking up to Sayaka and sitting down next to her.

"You didn't have to come hear me out if you didn't want to, you know," Sayaka deadpanned.

"Whatever," I retorted. "So, you're the one who called me out here at eleven at night. What did you want to talk about?"

"Oh, right!" she said. "You see, they say that Kyousuke is going to be released from the hospital soon."

"That all?" I asked her. I sounded colder than I would have liked, but at that point, I didn't care that much. "You called me here just to tell me that?"

I stood up abruptly, starting to walk away. I ignored her telling me to come back, to finish hearing what she had to say. I knew that if I stayed any longer, if I heard anything else from her, I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears that already threatened to spill from my eyes.

When I got back to my apartment, I had mostly calmed down. I had eluded Sayaka, and I no longer felt like I was about to cry. Even so, I was emotionally exhausted. I slugged over to my bed in the next room, falling asleep almost as soon as I got under the covers.

When I woke up at around noon the next day, I wasn't surprised that she hadn't come. After all, she did have school on weekdays. She always came in the afternoons anyway, regardless of whether she had school or not.

Of course, my mind chose that time to remind me of the previous night's events.

So, that guy is going to be released soon, eh? I guess that means that she'll stop coming when that happens. She'll have better things to do than spend time with me, a mere friend.

A few hours later, I hadn't gone out once, on the off chance that Sayaka did skip, and that we would meet. I wasn't ready to talk with her. Even so, I still…

I still wanted to see her.

School's probably over for her, I thought, staring absentmindedly out my bedroom window. It's not like she was coming, so there was no sense getting my hopes up—

It was then that I heard a knocking at my front door. The knock was all too familiar.

It's Sayaka…

I took a moment to calm myself, knowing that refusing to let her in would only worry her even more. When I felt composed, I walked out of my room, going to the front door and opening it.

"Hey…" Sayaka said as she stood there. Her voice sounded kind of sad, though for what reason, I wasn't sure. Even still, I decided to let her in.

"Come in," I said softly, moving aside to allow her entry.

It hurt. I couldn't tell her no. I couldn't tell her to leave, or that she wasn't welcome. I just couldn't say it.

When she went in, she made a beeline for the kitchen, undoubtedly wanting to fix me a meal to try to make up for the night before. I wasn't about to object, as I had been starving ever since I woke up that morning.

After about a minute of me standing in the doorway, I closed it, beginning to walk over to the kitchen to check on the meal. When I arrived…

"You know, Kyouko," Sayaka started, her voice perking up. "Kyousuke said he would give me a special violin performance once he gets out of the hospital."

"Good for you," I told her warmly, even though I could feel my heart shattering on the inside. "I'm sure it'll be great."

I walked past her, having almost completely lost my appetite.

"Why don't you come listen to it with me?" she asked me. It was pretty obvious that she was desperate to patch things up with me.

But you're going about it the wrong way. Can't you see how much it hurts?

I ignored her proposal, walking into the front room to where the dinner table was. When I had seated myself in my usual seat, I looked over to her, smiling sadly as I watched her cook. "Sayaka… one day, you'll make a great wife."

"Thanks, Kyouko," she replied. The way she said it, she sounded as if she was in pain.

Why…? I'm the one who's hurting.

A few minutes later, Sayaka walked up to me, a plate of delicious-looking food in her hands. "Here ya go!" she said, handing the plate to me.

"Thanks," I told her, taking it and taking a bite with the fork she gave me.

It's amazing… as always… too bad I won't get this for much longer.

"Hey, Kyouko," Sayaka said, looking at me with a smile. "Is it good?"

I looked into her eyes, seeing a reflection of myself. I was smiling… but I looked sad.

"It's great. I'm sure he'll love it."

Authors' Note:

Yeah, that's a sad ending. A lot of you probably expected a better/happier ending, but I'll tell you this: there WILL be a second part to this story! It'll be told from Sayaka's perspective, so you'll get so see what she feels instead of only seeing Kyouko's view.

So yeah, I kind of left it to the imagination whether they're magical girls or not, huh? I was actually aiming for that.

Well, I guess that's all I have to say: One last thing before I go!

I don't own Puella Magi Madoka Magica!

Until we meet again!