Full Circle
By RyAnn Winer
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing her but the plot.
NOTES: I actually wrote this story a few years ago. I was going through some old papers and found it. For some reason I just decided to put my favorite Gundam couple as the main characters. There may be some OOCness for Relena. Well, I hope you enjoy.
Relena Yuy walked out of the diplomat's meeting with a headache. The meeting had gone on a little too long for her tastes. Driving home, she passed a local restaurant and decided to go in and have a drink or two. Closing the door behind her, she darted her eyes across the room to make sure no one she knew was there and that no one could recognize her. Timidly walking to the bar, she gathered her confidence as she made her way over there. Sitting down on a barstool, she ordered her drink.
"Could I get another?" She asked the bartender half an hour later.
"Sorry, sweetheart, I'm cutting you off," the bartender answered.
"C'mon, just one more?"
"Nope, sorry. You've already had one too many. Go on home."
Relena finished her drink, slipped off the barstool, and stumbled to the bathroom. Before she left the bathroom, she had touched up her makeup, freshened her breath, and put drops in her eyes to reduce the dryness. On the way out, she ordered a large cup of coffee to go to wake up. In the car, she looked back at what she had just done. She had never done anything like that before, and deeply regretted it. She wasn't really sure why she had done it. She swore to herself she would never drink that much again. When she reached her house, she prayed her husband wouldn't notice she had been drinking.
"How was your meeting?" Heero asked when she walked in the door.
"Fine. Same old thing. Budget, committees, programs, and such."
"Good, I'm glad. Amy went to bed fine, but she's waiting on you to go to sleep. Although, I'll bet you she's already asleep."
"I'll go up and say goodnight to her. I think I'm going to take a nice, relaxing, hot bath before bed." Relena gave her husband a quick kiss before running up the stairs to check on her daughter.
Amy, as Heero predicted, was fast asleep. Relena kissed her on top of her long, curly, blond head. She put her teddy bear back under her arm, smoothed the covers over her, and said a prayer to keep her daughter safe. Relena left to run her bath water. After pouring aromatherapy bath salts into the running water, she went down the back stairs to the kitchen. She didn't want to disturb her husband, who was working in his office. She poured herself a glass of wine to drink while she unwound in the bathtub. She went to leave the kitchen, but as an afterthought, picked up the bottle and took it with her.
During her bath, while the tiny, bubbles hit her body; she polished off the rest of the bottle, which was almost half full. After she finished her bath, she dried herself off with a big, loopy towel. She hit the button that lets the water out, turned out the light, and went into their bedroom. Heero was sitting up reading in their bed.
"Honey, you okay?" Heero asked her after she tripped over a shoe and fell.
"No problem," she told him.
"You sure you're okay? You look a little unsteady."
"Yeah. I guess I'm just more tired than I thought. I wasn't looking where I was going. Anyway, I feel so much better after my bath."
"If you're sure you're okay, then goodnight. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. My biggest client is having some security problems, and he insists I look at them tomorrow, even though it's Saturday. Remember, we have that party tomorrow night. Don't forget to call the sitter and confirm she is still coming. You may also see if she wants to stay over, since I don't know what time we'll be getting in, and she may not want to drive home if it's too late."
"Sure, goodnight. I love you."
"I love you."
Heero turned off the light, reached for Relena, and in each other's arms, they went to sleep.
The next morning, after Heero left, Relena woke Amy up. They played together all morning. It was Saturday, Relena's favorite day of the week. She looked forward to this day all week. She loved playing with Amy.
"Mom, where's Daddy?" Amy asked her mother while they were eating lunch.
"He'll be home soon, sweet."
"Is he working again?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Oh. Is it his big client?" Amy, even though she was only four, was as bright and perceptive as anyone two years older. She was Heero and Relena's only child, and they indulged her with anything she wanted.
"You got it kid. Now, Mom has to get ready for her and Daddy's big party tonight. You can play on your computer while I get ready. Betsy's coming by to watch you tonight, and as a special treat, I ordered pizza for you two."
"All right!" Amy screamed as she bounded up the stairs to her room.
Relena chuckled to herself as she cleaned off the bar from their lunch. After loading and starting the dishwasher, she went upstairs to get ready for the party. As she was putting on her makeup, Heero walked in.
"How was it?"
"Great," he said sarcastically, "but we got it figured out."
"Wonderful. Now, take a shower, or we'll be late."
While Heero was in the bathroom, Relena finished getting ready. When she was done, she admired herself in the free standing mirror. In her black lace cocktail dress, she was as thin as ever. If one didn't know her, they would have never guessed she had had a child. Her shoulder length blond hair was swept up in an elegant French twist. The lids above her blue eyes had just a dusting of powder. Her mother had taught her well in applying her makeup.
Heero appeared behind her. In his tux, he was strikingly handsome. His brown hair and prussian blue eyes were a striking complement to each other. He wrapped his arms lightly, but lovingly around her waist. She turned in his arms, and he presented her with a velvet box.
"What is this?" she asked him.
"Just an anniversary present. I figured I would give it to you now, and not wait until everyone we know is watching us at the party later." She knew he meant Duo. You just couldn't have a solemn moment with him in the room.
Relena took the box from him and opened it. Inside it was a ten-year diamond anniversary band.
"Oh, it's gorgeous."
"Just like my wife." He slipped the ring on her finger above her wedding ring. After giving her a kiss that almost made them late, he reluctantly let her go and they left.
The party, thrown for them by their closest friends and family, was very elegant. All the men were in tuxes, the women in cocktail dresses. They hired an orchestra for the music, the food was catered by the best in town, and there was an open bar. Heero and Relena were as lighthearted as they were at their reception on their wedding night. They danced to the songs played at their wedding, and looked as if they had not forgotten a single step.
Before dinner, Relena went to the bar and got a cocktail. She mingled with the crowd for a few minutes before returning to the bar to get another one. After more mingling, she returned to the bar for another. By the time dinner was served, Relena had a few, and her head was buzzing and spinning. Before going to her seat, she went into the bathroom to fix herself back up and have a few cups of coffee to help sober her up a little. Coffee had helped her last night, so why not tonight. Popping some breath mints, she joined her husband at their table in the front of the room. She surveyed the guests and realized how lucky she was to have so many people in her life. To celebrate, she signaled the waiter and ordered herself another drink.
"May I have this dance?" Heero swept Relena off to the dance floor.
While dancing, Heero noticed his wife wasn't her usual self. Her hands were roaming over him, and her movements were heavy and awkward. Her feet were like leaded weights she couldn't pick up off the ground. He was trying to make light conversation with her, but she would just glare past him and laugh. He pulled her into the lobby and sat her down.
"What's wrong?" he asked her with concern.
"Nothing. Just having a little fun," Relena said.
"How many drinks have you had?"
"Just a few." Laughing, she played with his tie.
Grabbing her hand and holding it still, he looked at her. Seeing her like this upset him. "C"mon, we're going to sober you up before going back in there." He gently pulled her toward the lobby's deli counter.
"No," she cried, as people quickly turned and looked at them. Heero winced as people began to whisper to each other. They were supposed to be having fun. This was their anniversary party.
"No arguments from you," he whispered loud enough so only she could hear him.
"I don't want to," she whispered back, although it was more of a whisper she would have used at a concert.
"Don't make me use force. I sure as hell don't want everyone to only remember me forcing you to drink some coffee." He told her as he led her off to the counter.
Standing outside her daughter's classroom, Relena waved good-bye to Amy for the day. She wouldn't see her again until tonight, after the school's annual program for families. Amy was the lead in her class' skit. She was so proud of her daughter. On the way home, Relena stopped off at the neighborhood grocery store for a few necessities. She was out of bread, milk, and Amy's favorite after school snack, Oreo's. In the store, she passed the beer and wines section and couldn't resist picking up a couple of bottles of wine. She always bought wine, so no one would guess anything was strange.
When she arrived home, she started her chores. After she stopped for lunch, she decided to have a glass of wine. While doing her chores, she finished glass after glass. Finishing one bottle, she picked up the other one and opened it. By the time her chores were done and she was ready to sit down to watch her soaps she had taped, both bottles were empty. She went in search of more to fill up her empty glass. Heero called to see how she was doing. For all he knew from his end, nothing out of the ordinary was going on. His wife seemed to be fine. He hung up reminding her of tonight and that he was going to meet her at the school. She was always forgetting things these days, but that really wasn't anything new, she was always just a little forgetful. After he hung up, she poured herself a brandy to wake herself up after the wine and before she went to the school. Noticing the time, she poured herself some coffee, locked the door, got in the car, and headed for her daughter's
school. By the time she pulled into the school, she was pretty sure Heero wouldn't notice the way she was. When she finally got into the auditorium, her husband was already there, seated, with a worried look on his face.
"Hi, sorry I'm late, but traffic was awful."
Leaning over to give her a kiss, Heero's body stiffened up and he pulled away.
"Have you been drinking?"
"I did have some wine while doing my chores this afternoon. You know I like the taste of wine."
"I know you do. And I think you've had more than `some wine' this afternoon."
"I did not! How dare you accuse me of drinking before my daughter's program." Relena's voice was increasing in volume by each word. Other people around them were starting to look at them. Heero was getting more and more angry by the minute. Relena sat in her seat, trying her best to only concentrate on the program and not the waves of anger coming from her husband beside her.
After the program, Amy ran up to them and gave both of them a big hug. She was still in her costume and her cheeks were still pink from the makeup. "Did you see me? Wasn't I good? I didn't mess up my lines at all." Amy ran one sentence into the next. Her whole body was trembling from all the excitement of the day.
"You were wonderful honey, the hit of the whole program." Heero bent to give his daughter a hug and a kiss.
"You sure were," Relena agreed. She bent to give Amy a hug.
"Pew, Mommy. You smell. What's wrong? Are you sick?
"No sweet. I'm fine. Are you ready to go home?" Relena switched the subject and averted her gaze to Heero. He seemed more angry than amused.
"I'll take Amy home and put her to bed, so you can stay for the quick meeting of the parents' association." Heero volunteered.
"Okay, I'll see you at home as soon as I can." She gave them each a kiss and they left.
"Daddy, what's wrong with Mommy? She said she wasn't sick, but she looked sick to me. And she smelled funny. Kinda like my friend's dad sometimes when he comes out of his special room. Is she okay?"
"I'm sure she is sweetie, maybe she just had a hard day at home, and is very tired. I'll make sure everything is okay with Mommy. Trust me."
"I do."
After Amy was in bed, Heero went into the kitchen to fix himself a snack. He always ate when he was angry. Looking in the breadbox for his bread, he saw something in there that wasn't supposed to be. He reached in, pulled it out, and inspected it. The label was gone, the top was missing, and the contents were dissolved. It didn't take a genius to figure out what it was. This was a wine bottle that hadn't been there this morning. Relena had lied to him. He ran his hands through his hair in a frustrated manner. Picking up the bread and moving to the counter, he reached into the cupboard to get the mustard, and saw something that looked familiar. He picked it up and silently cursed. Relena had left another bottle to be found. By now, he had lost his appetite. He threw the bread onto the counter, and went into the living room to wait for her.
In the living room, he paced. As he paced, his eyes stopped on each of the pictures scattered around the room. Their wedding portrait held a prominent place in the middle of the collage of pictures on the sideboard. There were also pictures of him with just the other pilots, and her with just the girls. There were also pictures taken of all of them together. In all of them, Relena was smiling. The pictures taken since then, including the one of the three of them on the day Amy was born, reminded him of how his wife had been. Ever since the weekend of their party, several months ago, she had changed. He longed for his old wife back. He still loved her, but god, he missed the way it used to be.
He heard her car in the garage and squared his shoulders for the confrontation.
"Honey, where are you? Oh, there you are. How's Amy, did she go to sleep okay? I didn't know since she was so wound up, how she would do while she got ready for bed." Relena stopped then because she saw his face. His jaw twitched in time to the music he was playing, and his blue eyes had darkened. She was genuinely scared and made a move to leave the room.
His hand snaked out to grab her by the arm. "You are not going anywhere." She had never seen him this angry with her.
"What's the matter with you?"
"Me, what's the matter with me? You come to our daughter's school program drunk, and you ask what is wrong with me? How dare you."
"I was not drunk. I would never do anything like that," she said.
"You were, and you did."
Relena had no comment for this accusation. She just stood there with her arms crossed over her chest and her foot tapping to an irregular beat all it's own.
"How could you?" Heero choked out. "This was the most important day of our daughter's life, and you almost ruined it for her. She is very smart and knew something was wrong. It almost broke my heart to lie to her about you."
"Don't you think I don't know what tonight meant to Amy? You shouldn't have felt you had to lie to her. I'm okay. I was just tired and drained from this afternoon. I did have to clean the whole house this week since the maid is off. I drank some wine to calm down. I told you that before when you asked me. I didn't have much to drink, and I only did it to calm down."
"So you've said before. But, I know what you've drunk. I found empty wine bottles where you hid them. Did you think I wouldn't find them?"
"I was hoping you wouldn't have. I was going to throw them out tonight after you had gone to bed."
That was not the answer he had wanted to hear. It only incensed him even more. His hand reflexively jerked back to hit her then slowly dropped it back down to his side. He didn't want to turn back into that soldier persona he had dropped so long ago. But, as much as he hated to admit it, his wife was slowly pushing him back over the edge. And he hated that.
"What the hell kind of answer was that? You hoped I wouldn't have found them? But, I did. What are you going to do now? Will you stop? Ever since our anniversary party, you have been different. Not a day goes by now, when you don't have at least four drinks, and when we go out, I have to practically carry you out of the restaurant. Just the other day, someone came up to me at work and asked about you. I won't say whom, because he is a close friend. He said he noticed you at work looking ill. I should have put two and two together, but I didn't. I believed you every time you said you were fine, just a little tired and run down. I believed you could handle it."
"I can handle it just fine with just a few every now and then. I don't need it that other way."
"You can't handle it. Over the past months, I've asked you to stop, or at least slow down. Each time you said you would, and you never have. I've had enough. Amy and I shouldn't have to be put through this. Do you want to spend the rest of you life alone? Do you want to die?"
Relena's eyes turned ice blue with the glare she gave Heero. She recoiled from the harshness of his words. "You bastard. How dare you talk to me that way." Flinging herself from her position by the fireplace, she launched herself into the air. When she landed, she was pummeling Heero's chest with her fists.
He confined her hands in just one of his. With the other, he tilted her face so that she would have to look him in the eyes. "Don't you ever, ever talk to me like that again. I told you those things to maybe get some sense into that head. But I see now I was wrong. I didn't want to have to say this, but maybe I should take Amy and go to Quatre's house for a while. Amy is out of school for the summer, and I have some vacation time coming to me."
"You wouldn't take her from me now would you? I finally get to have her all day like I used to. I missed her during the day." The words were a sob on her lips. "I need a drink." Carol reached for the brandy snifter that was sitting out on the side table.
John took the glass from her hands and slung it into the fireplace. "That's all you need at this point. Do you think I would leave Amy with you all day? There is no telling what you would do during the day. What if you had been drinking and got in the car? Would you want to endanger Amy by putting her in the car with you?'
"I would not do that. I love her too much to put her in harm's way."
"I know you do, but I don't trust you when you start drinking. You don't know when to stop. I'm afraid for Amy, and for you too. I love you both too much to continue this way. That's why it hurts me to do this. Amy and I will be leaving for Quatre's in the morning when she gets up."
Heero left the room and went upstairs. Relena could hear him above her packing his suitcase.
She slumped to the ground, buried her face in her hands, and sobbed. "I need a drink." Carol grabbed her purse and headed for a bar she knew was open late.
Heero heard her car pull out of the driveway. He knew she was headed for a bar somewhere. He just prayed she would be okay. Hopefully, she wouldn't be here, or at least asleep when they left in the morning. He didn't want to make a scene in front of Amy. His heart was already breaking even more knowing he would have to lie to his still impressionable daughter.
Downtown, in the bar, Relena stared into her drink. She couldn't believe what Heero was going to do. Polishing off one drink, she ordered another. Now, as the bartender sat her drink in front of her, she was hit with the reality of what she had done. She was going to loose her family, her house, everything she and Heero had worked so hard for. She didn't want to be alone. Her brother and Noin were away on a colony, so she couldn't turn to them. Heero was beyond angry with her, and she didn't want her friends to know her dark secret. She had truly messed up. She just prayed that her husband would still want to be with her and love her after all this is over.
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror behind the bar. Her usual shiny, blond hair was limp, dull, and just hung from her head like a mop. Her bright, sparkling blue eyes were now just pools of drab, colorless blue. The bags under her ordinarily perfect eyes, looked as if she had been in a fight. The once porcelain skin of her face now held a jaundiced, yellow tint.
Deciding she needed to do something before she lost everything, she pushed her drink away, called a cab, and went home. When she got home, she paid the driver, pushed her courage up, and went in. She found Heero in his office doing some last minute paper work. He looked up, and with one look, his eyes spoke to her more than any words could have. He was still angry and deeply hurt. But, once she looked closer, could it be, was there love still in his eyes?
Before he could speak, Relena held up her hand. "Don't speak, just listen. Tonight, I realized something. I realized that if I continue on this path, I would loose everything. Everything. You, Amy, our friends, Millardo and Noin, and all the other important things in my life. I don't want that.
You probably guessed that, yes, I did go to a bar. While I was sitting there, a memory started forming at the back of my mind. Once the memory hit me full force, I broke. Memories of us assaulted me. I remembered the time we met on that beach. At the party before you changed schools. When we were together on Libra, and the whole Mariemaia incident. The memory of when you proposed was there. On our wedding night, we vowed never to let anything come between us. We had had so many troubles getting to that point that we wanted to make sure that we would always be together. Sitting at that bar, it hit me. This was coming between us. My drinking was causing us to drift apart. I was coming between us.
I want to tell you how sorry I am to put you through all this. I don't know how it happened. One night after a diplomat's meeting, actually, it was the Friday before our party; I stopped in a local restaurant to have a couple of drinks. Two turned into three, three turned into four, and so on. I'm not really sure exactly how many I had. I vowed never to drink that much again. Well, that vow didn't last very long. Less than twenty-four hours, during the party. After that, I just couldn't stop. I couldn't have just one anymore. I really don't know why I can't stop, but I know I need to. You and Amy are just way too important to me. I couldn't stand my life without you two. So, will you help me." Relena spoke these last words around the lump in her throat.
Heero stared pointedly at her. "I don't know if I can trust what you just said."
"Of course you can. You can always trust me."
"After the past few months, I don't know that anymore. You have to prove it to me. Until you do, Amy and I will be at Quatre's. Don't try to contact us until you've gotten the help you need." Heero went upstairs to finish packing.
Relena sat alone the next night staring out the window. The steady falling rain outside the window matched her mood. The falling raindrops resembled her falling tears. The light reflecting off the drops on the window hurt her eyes. She looked to see where the light was coming from to turn it off, and a reflection in the window caught her eye. It was the ring Heero had given her the night of the party. Relena then realized that when Heero left, he was still wearing his ring.
She then knew what she must do. Picking up her purse and car keys, she left and headed toward the Winner estate.
When she got there, she hoped someone would let her in. After all she had done, she wasn't so sure. Ringing the doorbell, she waited. After a few minutes, she could hear footsteps coming. Quatre himself opened the door. He just smiled at her and gave her a hug.
"Heero's in my study." She gave him a smile of thanks and went off to find her husband.
Finally, she was standing outside the door that had her husband on the other side. She didn't even knock, she just walked in.
"Quatre, I'm fine. I don't need to talk about anyth..." Heero's words died on his lips as he looked up and realized just who had disturbed him. "Relena"
"Hello Heero. I'm sorry if I am disturbing you. I'll go if you want me to." She made a motion to leave.
"NO" Relena looked at him surprised. Did he really just sound that desperate?
"I mean, you came all the way out here in the middle of the night, you may as well say what it is you wanted to say." Heero turned back around to where he had been staring out the window. But, not before she saw his eyes. They spoke more to her than his words could have. That gave her hope. She started to say what was on her heart.
"I need help. I know that now.
I want to tell you again how sorry I am to put you through all this. After you left last night, I stayed up all night thinking. I only left my seat to eat something when my stomach wanted something. But, that was only my stomach. I really didn't want to eat anything. Anyway, tonight I was sitting there, just watching the rain from the window seat, like we used to, when it hit me that I needed help. I saw the reflection of my ring in the window, and suddenly, my future was even more clear than it was last night I really don't want to loose the meanings of my life. I know I told you that last night, but now, I'm ready to get help. So, will you help me?" Relena finished and just stared at her ring. She was too scared to look at Heero. She didn't want to face whatever he was feeling.
Just then, she felt a presence standing in front of her. She saw a hand take hers. The fingers began rubbing over the ring. Heero's voice penetrated the silence. "When I first put this ring on you ten years ago, I made a vow. A vow that through sickness and health, in good times and bad, that I would stand by you. I'm not planning on breaking that vow now."
Heero then pulled her into a hug. "Oh, baby, of course I will help you. The past twenty-four hours have been just pure hell for me. Just ask Quatre. Knowing that I could loose you scared me to death. My life wouldn't be much without you, either."
The couple moved at the same time and caught each other's lips in a kiss. She tasted the salt of his tears. Her own mingled with his.
"Hi, my name is Relena, and I'm an alcoholic." Relena looked around the room at the people in the circle. She looked down at her clothes and saw the nametag she wore. It testified that she was getting the help she needed. Her hands caught her eye. On her left hand, she still wore the diamond band Heero had given her all those months ago. She twisted it and thought of her family and friends at home, waiting for her. They had all been great through all this. Amy still didn't know the real reason why her Mommy was here, but knew Daddy was getting her the help he promised he would.
Relena's life was coming back full circle. From the heights of life, to the lows of despair, she was now on her way back up. She knew she was one of the lucky ones, and knew to treasure it always in her heart. Nothing else could come close to what she had and almost lost. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Heero come in carrying a dozen lavender roses (her favorite). He smiled at her. In her heart, she knew everything was going to be okay.
NOTES: Well, whatcha think? I would love to know.
God bless `til next time. - R. Winner
By RyAnn Winer
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing her but the plot.
NOTES: I actually wrote this story a few years ago. I was going through some old papers and found it. For some reason I just decided to put my favorite Gundam couple as the main characters. There may be some OOCness for Relena. Well, I hope you enjoy.
Relena Yuy walked out of the diplomat's meeting with a headache. The meeting had gone on a little too long for her tastes. Driving home, she passed a local restaurant and decided to go in and have a drink or two. Closing the door behind her, she darted her eyes across the room to make sure no one she knew was there and that no one could recognize her. Timidly walking to the bar, she gathered her confidence as she made her way over there. Sitting down on a barstool, she ordered her drink.
"Could I get another?" She asked the bartender half an hour later.
"Sorry, sweetheart, I'm cutting you off," the bartender answered.
"C'mon, just one more?"
"Nope, sorry. You've already had one too many. Go on home."
Relena finished her drink, slipped off the barstool, and stumbled to the bathroom. Before she left the bathroom, she had touched up her makeup, freshened her breath, and put drops in her eyes to reduce the dryness. On the way out, she ordered a large cup of coffee to go to wake up. In the car, she looked back at what she had just done. She had never done anything like that before, and deeply regretted it. She wasn't really sure why she had done it. She swore to herself she would never drink that much again. When she reached her house, she prayed her husband wouldn't notice she had been drinking.
"How was your meeting?" Heero asked when she walked in the door.
"Fine. Same old thing. Budget, committees, programs, and such."
"Good, I'm glad. Amy went to bed fine, but she's waiting on you to go to sleep. Although, I'll bet you she's already asleep."
"I'll go up and say goodnight to her. I think I'm going to take a nice, relaxing, hot bath before bed." Relena gave her husband a quick kiss before running up the stairs to check on her daughter.
Amy, as Heero predicted, was fast asleep. Relena kissed her on top of her long, curly, blond head. She put her teddy bear back under her arm, smoothed the covers over her, and said a prayer to keep her daughter safe. Relena left to run her bath water. After pouring aromatherapy bath salts into the running water, she went down the back stairs to the kitchen. She didn't want to disturb her husband, who was working in his office. She poured herself a glass of wine to drink while she unwound in the bathtub. She went to leave the kitchen, but as an afterthought, picked up the bottle and took it with her.
During her bath, while the tiny, bubbles hit her body; she polished off the rest of the bottle, which was almost half full. After she finished her bath, she dried herself off with a big, loopy towel. She hit the button that lets the water out, turned out the light, and went into their bedroom. Heero was sitting up reading in their bed.
"Honey, you okay?" Heero asked her after she tripped over a shoe and fell.
"No problem," she told him.
"You sure you're okay? You look a little unsteady."
"Yeah. I guess I'm just more tired than I thought. I wasn't looking where I was going. Anyway, I feel so much better after my bath."
"If you're sure you're okay, then goodnight. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. My biggest client is having some security problems, and he insists I look at them tomorrow, even though it's Saturday. Remember, we have that party tomorrow night. Don't forget to call the sitter and confirm she is still coming. You may also see if she wants to stay over, since I don't know what time we'll be getting in, and she may not want to drive home if it's too late."
"Sure, goodnight. I love you."
"I love you."
Heero turned off the light, reached for Relena, and in each other's arms, they went to sleep.
The next morning, after Heero left, Relena woke Amy up. They played together all morning. It was Saturday, Relena's favorite day of the week. She looked forward to this day all week. She loved playing with Amy.
"Mom, where's Daddy?" Amy asked her mother while they were eating lunch.
"He'll be home soon, sweet."
"Is he working again?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Oh. Is it his big client?" Amy, even though she was only four, was as bright and perceptive as anyone two years older. She was Heero and Relena's only child, and they indulged her with anything she wanted.
"You got it kid. Now, Mom has to get ready for her and Daddy's big party tonight. You can play on your computer while I get ready. Betsy's coming by to watch you tonight, and as a special treat, I ordered pizza for you two."
"All right!" Amy screamed as she bounded up the stairs to her room.
Relena chuckled to herself as she cleaned off the bar from their lunch. After loading and starting the dishwasher, she went upstairs to get ready for the party. As she was putting on her makeup, Heero walked in.
"How was it?"
"Great," he said sarcastically, "but we got it figured out."
"Wonderful. Now, take a shower, or we'll be late."
While Heero was in the bathroom, Relena finished getting ready. When she was done, she admired herself in the free standing mirror. In her black lace cocktail dress, she was as thin as ever. If one didn't know her, they would have never guessed she had had a child. Her shoulder length blond hair was swept up in an elegant French twist. The lids above her blue eyes had just a dusting of powder. Her mother had taught her well in applying her makeup.
Heero appeared behind her. In his tux, he was strikingly handsome. His brown hair and prussian blue eyes were a striking complement to each other. He wrapped his arms lightly, but lovingly around her waist. She turned in his arms, and he presented her with a velvet box.
"What is this?" she asked him.
"Just an anniversary present. I figured I would give it to you now, and not wait until everyone we know is watching us at the party later." She knew he meant Duo. You just couldn't have a solemn moment with him in the room.
Relena took the box from him and opened it. Inside it was a ten-year diamond anniversary band.
"Oh, it's gorgeous."
"Just like my wife." He slipped the ring on her finger above her wedding ring. After giving her a kiss that almost made them late, he reluctantly let her go and they left.
The party, thrown for them by their closest friends and family, was very elegant. All the men were in tuxes, the women in cocktail dresses. They hired an orchestra for the music, the food was catered by the best in town, and there was an open bar. Heero and Relena were as lighthearted as they were at their reception on their wedding night. They danced to the songs played at their wedding, and looked as if they had not forgotten a single step.
Before dinner, Relena went to the bar and got a cocktail. She mingled with the crowd for a few minutes before returning to the bar to get another one. After more mingling, she returned to the bar for another. By the time dinner was served, Relena had a few, and her head was buzzing and spinning. Before going to her seat, she went into the bathroom to fix herself back up and have a few cups of coffee to help sober her up a little. Coffee had helped her last night, so why not tonight. Popping some breath mints, she joined her husband at their table in the front of the room. She surveyed the guests and realized how lucky she was to have so many people in her life. To celebrate, she signaled the waiter and ordered herself another drink.
"May I have this dance?" Heero swept Relena off to the dance floor.
While dancing, Heero noticed his wife wasn't her usual self. Her hands were roaming over him, and her movements were heavy and awkward. Her feet were like leaded weights she couldn't pick up off the ground. He was trying to make light conversation with her, but she would just glare past him and laugh. He pulled her into the lobby and sat her down.
"What's wrong?" he asked her with concern.
"Nothing. Just having a little fun," Relena said.
"How many drinks have you had?"
"Just a few." Laughing, she played with his tie.
Grabbing her hand and holding it still, he looked at her. Seeing her like this upset him. "C"mon, we're going to sober you up before going back in there." He gently pulled her toward the lobby's deli counter.
"No," she cried, as people quickly turned and looked at them. Heero winced as people began to whisper to each other. They were supposed to be having fun. This was their anniversary party.
"No arguments from you," he whispered loud enough so only she could hear him.
"I don't want to," she whispered back, although it was more of a whisper she would have used at a concert.
"Don't make me use force. I sure as hell don't want everyone to only remember me forcing you to drink some coffee." He told her as he led her off to the counter.
Standing outside her daughter's classroom, Relena waved good-bye to Amy for the day. She wouldn't see her again until tonight, after the school's annual program for families. Amy was the lead in her class' skit. She was so proud of her daughter. On the way home, Relena stopped off at the neighborhood grocery store for a few necessities. She was out of bread, milk, and Amy's favorite after school snack, Oreo's. In the store, she passed the beer and wines section and couldn't resist picking up a couple of bottles of wine. She always bought wine, so no one would guess anything was strange.
When she arrived home, she started her chores. After she stopped for lunch, she decided to have a glass of wine. While doing her chores, she finished glass after glass. Finishing one bottle, she picked up the other one and opened it. By the time her chores were done and she was ready to sit down to watch her soaps she had taped, both bottles were empty. She went in search of more to fill up her empty glass. Heero called to see how she was doing. For all he knew from his end, nothing out of the ordinary was going on. His wife seemed to be fine. He hung up reminding her of tonight and that he was going to meet her at the school. She was always forgetting things these days, but that really wasn't anything new, she was always just a little forgetful. After he hung up, she poured herself a brandy to wake herself up after the wine and before she went to the school. Noticing the time, she poured herself some coffee, locked the door, got in the car, and headed for her daughter's
school. By the time she pulled into the school, she was pretty sure Heero wouldn't notice the way she was. When she finally got into the auditorium, her husband was already there, seated, with a worried look on his face.
"Hi, sorry I'm late, but traffic was awful."
Leaning over to give her a kiss, Heero's body stiffened up and he pulled away.
"Have you been drinking?"
"I did have some wine while doing my chores this afternoon. You know I like the taste of wine."
"I know you do. And I think you've had more than `some wine' this afternoon."
"I did not! How dare you accuse me of drinking before my daughter's program." Relena's voice was increasing in volume by each word. Other people around them were starting to look at them. Heero was getting more and more angry by the minute. Relena sat in her seat, trying her best to only concentrate on the program and not the waves of anger coming from her husband beside her.
After the program, Amy ran up to them and gave both of them a big hug. She was still in her costume and her cheeks were still pink from the makeup. "Did you see me? Wasn't I good? I didn't mess up my lines at all." Amy ran one sentence into the next. Her whole body was trembling from all the excitement of the day.
"You were wonderful honey, the hit of the whole program." Heero bent to give his daughter a hug and a kiss.
"You sure were," Relena agreed. She bent to give Amy a hug.
"Pew, Mommy. You smell. What's wrong? Are you sick?
"No sweet. I'm fine. Are you ready to go home?" Relena switched the subject and averted her gaze to Heero. He seemed more angry than amused.
"I'll take Amy home and put her to bed, so you can stay for the quick meeting of the parents' association." Heero volunteered.
"Okay, I'll see you at home as soon as I can." She gave them each a kiss and they left.
"Daddy, what's wrong with Mommy? She said she wasn't sick, but she looked sick to me. And she smelled funny. Kinda like my friend's dad sometimes when he comes out of his special room. Is she okay?"
"I'm sure she is sweetie, maybe she just had a hard day at home, and is very tired. I'll make sure everything is okay with Mommy. Trust me."
"I do."
After Amy was in bed, Heero went into the kitchen to fix himself a snack. He always ate when he was angry. Looking in the breadbox for his bread, he saw something in there that wasn't supposed to be. He reached in, pulled it out, and inspected it. The label was gone, the top was missing, and the contents were dissolved. It didn't take a genius to figure out what it was. This was a wine bottle that hadn't been there this morning. Relena had lied to him. He ran his hands through his hair in a frustrated manner. Picking up the bread and moving to the counter, he reached into the cupboard to get the mustard, and saw something that looked familiar. He picked it up and silently cursed. Relena had left another bottle to be found. By now, he had lost his appetite. He threw the bread onto the counter, and went into the living room to wait for her.
In the living room, he paced. As he paced, his eyes stopped on each of the pictures scattered around the room. Their wedding portrait held a prominent place in the middle of the collage of pictures on the sideboard. There were also pictures of him with just the other pilots, and her with just the girls. There were also pictures taken of all of them together. In all of them, Relena was smiling. The pictures taken since then, including the one of the three of them on the day Amy was born, reminded him of how his wife had been. Ever since the weekend of their party, several months ago, she had changed. He longed for his old wife back. He still loved her, but god, he missed the way it used to be.
He heard her car in the garage and squared his shoulders for the confrontation.
"Honey, where are you? Oh, there you are. How's Amy, did she go to sleep okay? I didn't know since she was so wound up, how she would do while she got ready for bed." Relena stopped then because she saw his face. His jaw twitched in time to the music he was playing, and his blue eyes had darkened. She was genuinely scared and made a move to leave the room.
His hand snaked out to grab her by the arm. "You are not going anywhere." She had never seen him this angry with her.
"What's the matter with you?"
"Me, what's the matter with me? You come to our daughter's school program drunk, and you ask what is wrong with me? How dare you."
"I was not drunk. I would never do anything like that," she said.
"You were, and you did."
Relena had no comment for this accusation. She just stood there with her arms crossed over her chest and her foot tapping to an irregular beat all it's own.
"How could you?" Heero choked out. "This was the most important day of our daughter's life, and you almost ruined it for her. She is very smart and knew something was wrong. It almost broke my heart to lie to her about you."
"Don't you think I don't know what tonight meant to Amy? You shouldn't have felt you had to lie to her. I'm okay. I was just tired and drained from this afternoon. I did have to clean the whole house this week since the maid is off. I drank some wine to calm down. I told you that before when you asked me. I didn't have much to drink, and I only did it to calm down."
"So you've said before. But, I know what you've drunk. I found empty wine bottles where you hid them. Did you think I wouldn't find them?"
"I was hoping you wouldn't have. I was going to throw them out tonight after you had gone to bed."
That was not the answer he had wanted to hear. It only incensed him even more. His hand reflexively jerked back to hit her then slowly dropped it back down to his side. He didn't want to turn back into that soldier persona he had dropped so long ago. But, as much as he hated to admit it, his wife was slowly pushing him back over the edge. And he hated that.
"What the hell kind of answer was that? You hoped I wouldn't have found them? But, I did. What are you going to do now? Will you stop? Ever since our anniversary party, you have been different. Not a day goes by now, when you don't have at least four drinks, and when we go out, I have to practically carry you out of the restaurant. Just the other day, someone came up to me at work and asked about you. I won't say whom, because he is a close friend. He said he noticed you at work looking ill. I should have put two and two together, but I didn't. I believed you every time you said you were fine, just a little tired and run down. I believed you could handle it."
"I can handle it just fine with just a few every now and then. I don't need it that other way."
"You can't handle it. Over the past months, I've asked you to stop, or at least slow down. Each time you said you would, and you never have. I've had enough. Amy and I shouldn't have to be put through this. Do you want to spend the rest of you life alone? Do you want to die?"
Relena's eyes turned ice blue with the glare she gave Heero. She recoiled from the harshness of his words. "You bastard. How dare you talk to me that way." Flinging herself from her position by the fireplace, she launched herself into the air. When she landed, she was pummeling Heero's chest with her fists.
He confined her hands in just one of his. With the other, he tilted her face so that she would have to look him in the eyes. "Don't you ever, ever talk to me like that again. I told you those things to maybe get some sense into that head. But I see now I was wrong. I didn't want to have to say this, but maybe I should take Amy and go to Quatre's house for a while. Amy is out of school for the summer, and I have some vacation time coming to me."
"You wouldn't take her from me now would you? I finally get to have her all day like I used to. I missed her during the day." The words were a sob on her lips. "I need a drink." Carol reached for the brandy snifter that was sitting out on the side table.
John took the glass from her hands and slung it into the fireplace. "That's all you need at this point. Do you think I would leave Amy with you all day? There is no telling what you would do during the day. What if you had been drinking and got in the car? Would you want to endanger Amy by putting her in the car with you?'
"I would not do that. I love her too much to put her in harm's way."
"I know you do, but I don't trust you when you start drinking. You don't know when to stop. I'm afraid for Amy, and for you too. I love you both too much to continue this way. That's why it hurts me to do this. Amy and I will be leaving for Quatre's in the morning when she gets up."
Heero left the room and went upstairs. Relena could hear him above her packing his suitcase.
She slumped to the ground, buried her face in her hands, and sobbed. "I need a drink." Carol grabbed her purse and headed for a bar she knew was open late.
Heero heard her car pull out of the driveway. He knew she was headed for a bar somewhere. He just prayed she would be okay. Hopefully, she wouldn't be here, or at least asleep when they left in the morning. He didn't want to make a scene in front of Amy. His heart was already breaking even more knowing he would have to lie to his still impressionable daughter.
Downtown, in the bar, Relena stared into her drink. She couldn't believe what Heero was going to do. Polishing off one drink, she ordered another. Now, as the bartender sat her drink in front of her, she was hit with the reality of what she had done. She was going to loose her family, her house, everything she and Heero had worked so hard for. She didn't want to be alone. Her brother and Noin were away on a colony, so she couldn't turn to them. Heero was beyond angry with her, and she didn't want her friends to know her dark secret. She had truly messed up. She just prayed that her husband would still want to be with her and love her after all this is over.
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror behind the bar. Her usual shiny, blond hair was limp, dull, and just hung from her head like a mop. Her bright, sparkling blue eyes were now just pools of drab, colorless blue. The bags under her ordinarily perfect eyes, looked as if she had been in a fight. The once porcelain skin of her face now held a jaundiced, yellow tint.
Deciding she needed to do something before she lost everything, she pushed her drink away, called a cab, and went home. When she got home, she paid the driver, pushed her courage up, and went in. She found Heero in his office doing some last minute paper work. He looked up, and with one look, his eyes spoke to her more than any words could have. He was still angry and deeply hurt. But, once she looked closer, could it be, was there love still in his eyes?
Before he could speak, Relena held up her hand. "Don't speak, just listen. Tonight, I realized something. I realized that if I continue on this path, I would loose everything. Everything. You, Amy, our friends, Millardo and Noin, and all the other important things in my life. I don't want that.
You probably guessed that, yes, I did go to a bar. While I was sitting there, a memory started forming at the back of my mind. Once the memory hit me full force, I broke. Memories of us assaulted me. I remembered the time we met on that beach. At the party before you changed schools. When we were together on Libra, and the whole Mariemaia incident. The memory of when you proposed was there. On our wedding night, we vowed never to let anything come between us. We had had so many troubles getting to that point that we wanted to make sure that we would always be together. Sitting at that bar, it hit me. This was coming between us. My drinking was causing us to drift apart. I was coming between us.
I want to tell you how sorry I am to put you through all this. I don't know how it happened. One night after a diplomat's meeting, actually, it was the Friday before our party; I stopped in a local restaurant to have a couple of drinks. Two turned into three, three turned into four, and so on. I'm not really sure exactly how many I had. I vowed never to drink that much again. Well, that vow didn't last very long. Less than twenty-four hours, during the party. After that, I just couldn't stop. I couldn't have just one anymore. I really don't know why I can't stop, but I know I need to. You and Amy are just way too important to me. I couldn't stand my life without you two. So, will you help me." Relena spoke these last words around the lump in her throat.
Heero stared pointedly at her. "I don't know if I can trust what you just said."
"Of course you can. You can always trust me."
"After the past few months, I don't know that anymore. You have to prove it to me. Until you do, Amy and I will be at Quatre's. Don't try to contact us until you've gotten the help you need." Heero went upstairs to finish packing.
Relena sat alone the next night staring out the window. The steady falling rain outside the window matched her mood. The falling raindrops resembled her falling tears. The light reflecting off the drops on the window hurt her eyes. She looked to see where the light was coming from to turn it off, and a reflection in the window caught her eye. It was the ring Heero had given her the night of the party. Relena then realized that when Heero left, he was still wearing his ring.
She then knew what she must do. Picking up her purse and car keys, she left and headed toward the Winner estate.
When she got there, she hoped someone would let her in. After all she had done, she wasn't so sure. Ringing the doorbell, she waited. After a few minutes, she could hear footsteps coming. Quatre himself opened the door. He just smiled at her and gave her a hug.
"Heero's in my study." She gave him a smile of thanks and went off to find her husband.
Finally, she was standing outside the door that had her husband on the other side. She didn't even knock, she just walked in.
"Quatre, I'm fine. I don't need to talk about anyth..." Heero's words died on his lips as he looked up and realized just who had disturbed him. "Relena"
"Hello Heero. I'm sorry if I am disturbing you. I'll go if you want me to." She made a motion to leave.
"NO" Relena looked at him surprised. Did he really just sound that desperate?
"I mean, you came all the way out here in the middle of the night, you may as well say what it is you wanted to say." Heero turned back around to where he had been staring out the window. But, not before she saw his eyes. They spoke more to her than his words could have. That gave her hope. She started to say what was on her heart.
"I need help. I know that now.
I want to tell you again how sorry I am to put you through all this. After you left last night, I stayed up all night thinking. I only left my seat to eat something when my stomach wanted something. But, that was only my stomach. I really didn't want to eat anything. Anyway, tonight I was sitting there, just watching the rain from the window seat, like we used to, when it hit me that I needed help. I saw the reflection of my ring in the window, and suddenly, my future was even more clear than it was last night I really don't want to loose the meanings of my life. I know I told you that last night, but now, I'm ready to get help. So, will you help me?" Relena finished and just stared at her ring. She was too scared to look at Heero. She didn't want to face whatever he was feeling.
Just then, she felt a presence standing in front of her. She saw a hand take hers. The fingers began rubbing over the ring. Heero's voice penetrated the silence. "When I first put this ring on you ten years ago, I made a vow. A vow that through sickness and health, in good times and bad, that I would stand by you. I'm not planning on breaking that vow now."
Heero then pulled her into a hug. "Oh, baby, of course I will help you. The past twenty-four hours have been just pure hell for me. Just ask Quatre. Knowing that I could loose you scared me to death. My life wouldn't be much without you, either."
The couple moved at the same time and caught each other's lips in a kiss. She tasted the salt of his tears. Her own mingled with his.
"Hi, my name is Relena, and I'm an alcoholic." Relena looked around the room at the people in the circle. She looked down at her clothes and saw the nametag she wore. It testified that she was getting the help she needed. Her hands caught her eye. On her left hand, she still wore the diamond band Heero had given her all those months ago. She twisted it and thought of her family and friends at home, waiting for her. They had all been great through all this. Amy still didn't know the real reason why her Mommy was here, but knew Daddy was getting her the help he promised he would.
Relena's life was coming back full circle. From the heights of life, to the lows of despair, she was now on her way back up. She knew she was one of the lucky ones, and knew to treasure it always in her heart. Nothing else could come close to what she had and almost lost. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Heero come in carrying a dozen lavender roses (her favorite). He smiled at her. In her heart, she knew everything was going to be okay.
NOTES: Well, whatcha think? I would love to know.
God bless `til next time. - R. Winner