Home Alone: The Final Destination
This is a crossover between "Home Alone," a family comedy, and "Final Destination," a horror film where victims try to cheat death. This is about when the McCallisters mistakenly leave Kevin home alone, and they try to fight against death after avoiding explosion of the plane to Paris, France. Will the McCallisters ever get to the Kevin at home before Death kills them? Sit tight and find out.
Chapter 1: Kevin's Bad-ass Attitude
It all started all the McCallisters were packing up for their trip to Paris, France. Everyone packed up, except Kevin. However, Kevin went crazy in excitement when the pizza man came over.
"Ok, the total is $120. That's 12 pizzas times ten," said the pizza man.
"I'll take those to the dining room while my brother pays for them here," said Uncle Frank.
"Pizza! Pizza!" shouted Kevin.
Kevin wanders around the dining room and kitchen looking for plain cheese pizza.
"Did someone order any plain cheese?" said Kevin
"You want any? Someone's gonna have to barf it all up because they ate it all," said Buzz with a mouthful of pizza.
"Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi!" said Aunt Leslie
Buzz chokes on the pizza to death.
"AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGH! SOMEBODY CALL 911! BUZZ HAS CHOKED TO DEATH!" Kate shouted hysterically.
Then, Kevin flashed back to reality staring angrily at Buzz. Kevin hears Aunt Leslie shout again, "Fuller! Go easy on the Pepsi!"
Kevin angrily pushes Buzz on the counter to save his life, causing the drinks to spill on the counter. Buzz spits out the pizza. Everyone else ends up making a mess on the table, distracted from Kevin's bad move on Buzz.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" shouted Kate.
"Buzz was about to choke to death on my stolen plain cheese pizza. He knows that I hate sausage and olives and onions-" complained Kevin
"Look what you did you little shit!" yelled Uncle Frank, while wiping the mess off his pants.
Everyone looked at Kevin with disgusted looks on their faces.
"Kevin, get upstairs right now," said Kate.
"Why?" protested Kevin.
"Kevin, you're such a disease," says Jeff.
"Fuck you, asshole," said Kevin.
"Watch your mouth, young man. Now get upstairs," said Peter.
"Say goodnight, Kevin," said Kate.
"Goodnight, Kevin," said Kevin sarcastically.
Kate drags Kevin into the hallway.
"Why do I always get treated like scum?" said Kevin.
Kate pays the pizza man and drags Kevin upstairs to the attic door.
"There are fifteen people in this house and you're the only one who makes trouble. Now get upstairs," demanded Kate.
"I am upstairs, bitch," said Kevin.
Kate opened the door to the attic.
"I am not gonna have that disrespect in my house. Now get in the attic," said Kate.
"But it's scary up there," said Kevin.
"Then, I'll bring in Fuller to sleep with you," said Kate.
"I can't sleep with him. He'll wet the bed. He'll pee all over me. i know it," said Kevin.
"Fine, we'll put him somewhere else," answered Kate.
"I'm sorry," said Kevin.
"It's too late. Get upstairs," said Kate.
"Everyone in this family hates me," said Kevin.
"Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family," said Kate.
"I don't want a new family. I don't want any family. Fuck families!" said Kevin.
"I will not have this family taken in vain. I don't want to see you again for the rest of the night," said Kate.
"I don't want to see you again for the rest of my whole life. And I don't
want to see anyone else either," said Kevin
"I hope that you don't mean that. You'd be one sad fucked up little man if you woke up
tomorrow morning and you didn't have a family," said Kate
"No I wouldn't," answered Kevin.
"Then say it again. Maybe it will happen," said Kate
"I hope that I never see any of you dumb-asses again!" shouted Kevin.
Kevin walks up into the attic as his mother closes the door.
As Kevin lied down on the bed, he thought: "I wish they would all
just disappear."
Could Kevin be granting his family a big death wish? Could something drive his siblings and his parents to the point where they can't cheat death? Stay tuned for the next chapter of "Home Alone: The Final Destination."