Author's Note: Aye, it's another season!
The camera soared through the sky, showing full heights of the clouds, before plummeting downward at a rapid speed. It coursed over barren tundra before stopping at a van parked at the base of a mountain. The van was stacked with all sorts of packs and sacks strapped at every possible place. The door opened and out stepped a handsome man with black hair, blue shirt, and olive pants. He wore a confident grin, greeting the audience eagerly.
"Welcome, one and all!" he announced. "I am Chris McClean, and this is…Uber Drama!"
A large fanfare played and confetti rained down, followed by a studio recording of applause.
"Thank you, thank you," Chris said while taking a small bow. "This series takes Total Drama up to the next level, our first two seasons have proven that already. Uber Drama Island gave us the teen star, Nile, who learned to adapt to the game and win it all, along with the heart of Canada's sweetheart, Linda. Season 2, Uber Drama Action, saw gruff loner, Jarred, defrost a little and play the middle strong enough to get himself to the end and win big. Despite popular speculation, though, we will not be doing Uber Drama World Tour, instead allow me to present to you…Uber Drama: Mountain of Madness!"
The camera zoomed out to show the massive mountain behind Chris. The behemoth towered high above anything and every that the eye could see.
"Before you, you see…Mount Moa'Taka!" Chris announced. "This staggering mountain is isolated from any civilizations for miles on end. The nearest locals fear the place, claiming it to be haunted with danger. Explorers who attempt to uncover its secrets never return or return with their mind turned to mush, so the legend goes. Perfect place for our little reality show, eh?"
The camera panned up, showing just how high the mountain went, stopping before even reaching halfway and dropping down back to Chris.
"Of course, it wouldn't be Uber Drama if we didn't bring back a couple returnees to host our teams," Chris added. "Come on out, guys!"
"Ahaahaha!" Someone laughed from inside the van.
Suddenly a short boy with purple hair and a white outfit hopped out and raised his hands diabolically.
"It is I, Total Drama's greatest evil mastermind: Max The Mad!" the boy exclaimed. "No wait…Max The Malevolent! Or…Max The Merciless! Um…can you give me a minute here…"
He was shoved aside by a muscular girl with short gold hair and a navy jogging suit.
"Move it, porky," she scoffed.
"Fool, do you know who you are speaking to!?" the boy retorted. "I am Max…The—"
"Yeah, yeah, I heard you," the girl said as she shoved him to the ground effortlessly. "You're telling me THIS is the best you had to offer?"
"Well, I'm not sure if I ever said 'best,'" Chris remarked.
"Whatever, it'll just be easier for my tribe to crush whatever pathetic losers end up on his," the girl replied.
"Presenting," Chris said, "Max of Total Drama Pahkitew Island and Jo of Total Drama Revenge of the Island!"
"And now presenting…" said another voice from inside the van. "…The incredibly handsome, incredibly talent, incredibly hostly…Topher!"
The boy had chestnut brown hair and nearly identical clothes to the host.
"Wait a minute," Chris said as he looked at his cuecards, "I was told I'd be getting Shawn."
"Yeah, about that…I just had a little talk with the network executives, let them know that teenage girl viewership went up by five percent whenever I was on screen," Topher explained. "You know that's a demograph we can't do without."
"Great, so now I'm stuck with you," Chris grumbled.
"Was everyone on this season a buncha pansies?" Jo scoffed.
"Anyways," Chris said, "Last and most certainly least…"
"Uh ya, my great great great grandfather actually invented drama," a girl said as she exited the van. "Before that all that was ever on the TV were cooking shows and weather reports. Except back then they didn't call it TV, they called it the log box. This is because it usually took a full burning log to power it for an average emission…ya."
"I'm…90% sure that's not true," Max remarked.
This girl had brown hair with a pink bow and headband. She wore a matching pink coat and purple pants.
"Staci, welcome back," Chris said, "I'm sure we're all eager to hear about your…many, many relatives."
"Oh really?" Staci said with excitement. "Well maybe you'd be interested in my Great Step Aunt In-Law twice removed…ya, she designed hairspray that actually removes the whole spraying aspect…and it actually doesn't go on your hair…"
"Does it do anything?" Chris asked.
"Well if it did that sure would be a nice surprise, ya," Staci replied.
"Anyways," Chris said, "These four will be taken up the mountain by cablecar where they'll find their teams and get them set up for the game. But as for the 24 contestants themselves, they have already been divided into 6 completely randomized teams. They have seen no one but their own team. Right now all of them have been given directions to their camps scattered along the mountain. Their very first task is simply surviving the trek up and getting to their camps safely. Let us watch!"
(Team 1)
A group of six was scaling a rock wall. They were high off the ground, looking down and they'd only see blue sky looming below them. Taking the lead was a pale, lean boy with dark brown hair. He wore a black tanktop with a red pentagram sketched across it. His arms were covered various symbol tattoos, and he wore dark blue jeans with chains running across as a belt. He reached a ledge and pulled himself up. He arrived at a flat surface before a large gaping cave. He turned around and peered over the edge. Coming up next was a similar looking boy, he had lighter hair and wore a matching navy suit and crimson tie. The first boy offered his hand to him, but the other boy ignored him and pulled himself up on his own. Following the two of them came a boy with long messy blonde hair. He wore a grey jacket over a white shirt with a green spot, and blue shorts.
"Woo," he sighed as he reached the top. "That's quite a way to start off the season."
"I'll say," the tattooed boy agreed. "Chris is giving us no mercy here."
"So, guess we ought to get to know each other," the blonde boy said. "The name's Caullie. How about the two of you?"
"I'm Duke," the tattooed boy answered. "This guy's Hunter."
"Please, don't introduce us together like that," Hunter sighed disapprovingly. "It makes it sound like I'm associated with you."
"Oh…you two know each other?" Caullie asked in surprise.
"Sadly," Hunter drawled.
"Ah, don't mind Grumpy over there," Duke laughed. "Yeah, we're brothers. Twins, no less."
"Well, that's cool that you guys are in this together," Caullie remarked.
"Hardly," Hunter sighed. "But this little troll just had to tag along. He never could do anything on his own."
"Hey, I told you, this'll be fun, bro," Duke replied.
"Ahem!" someone called from below the ledge. "Excuse me? A little help?"
Caullie leaned over to see a girl with curly black hair and a dark gray dress struggling to climb up the stretch.
"Have no fear, help is on the way!" Caullie announced.
He stretched his hand out to her.
"Ah, thanks," the girl said as she grabbed his hand.
However, as Caullie was pulling her up, he accidentally let her slip. The girl stumbled backwards and plummeted.
"Oh gosh," Caullie groaned with a wince.
The girl was able to snag herself on a hanging branch before falling to an uncomfortable landing. She pulled herself back up and climbed towards the ledge again.
"I am so, so sorry," Caullie said as she climbed up to join them.
"It's fine, it's fine," the girl said while dusting herself off.
She then grabbed Caullie by the collar and glared him in the eyes.
"Just don't let it happen. Ever. Again," she hissed.
"U-understood," Caullie gulped.
"So, what's your name, Miss?" Duke asked.
"Mary-Anne," the girl replied.
The other boys quickly introduced themselves.
"So this is our home?" Mary-Anne asked as she glanced at the cave. "Not much to look at it."
"Beats having to build our own shelters," Caullie remarked.
Off to the side, Duke was playfully twisting Hunter's tie.
"Cut it out," Hunter sneered as he slapped him away.
"Come on, bro, you are way too overdressed for this," Duke laughed. "What did you think this was? A business party?"
"And you look like you just got out of juvenile hall," Hunter scoffed. "Oh wait, that's right, you did."
"Exactly," Duke laughed. "I'm tough as nails, ready to brave the wildness! Don't tell me you expect to be able to do anything all stuffed up like that, though."
"Well, at least I'm presentable," Hunter replied. "This is in fact a social game, which I'm sure you'd do good to remember."
"Of course I'll remember that," Duke laughed. "Point in case, who is going to be more appreciated, the guy who's ready for action, or the guy who's ready to give an interview for a legal firm? Checkmate, Duke."
Lower down, a small boy was still struggling to climb. He had fuzzy brown-red hair and thin glasses. He wore a green and red checkered sweater vest with a long-sleeved gray shirt underneath and brown pants. He was clearly having difficulty just clinging to the rock. Next to him was a girl with black hair in a ponytail and gold highlights. She wore a red top and black skirt.
"You know, you really look like you could get into better shape," she remarked.
"Y-Yeah…guess I…probably do," the boy breathed while just desperately trying to not let go of his hold.
"The key is routine, you need to get a good schedule going if you want to accomplish anything," the girl continued. "Situps in the morning, jogging at noon, workout in the evening. And of course, you've got to eat right, need to measure how much you intake of everything—"
"U-um…yeah but I can't really do any of that...at the moment, you know?" the boy said awkwardly while just desperately looking for some way to get himself up.
"Name's Shaylin," the girl said, ignoring him and offering her hand.
"M-Mordecai," the boy replied as he shook her hand.
Letting go of his grip, though, he lost his balance and fell over backwards.
"Whoa, there!" Shaylin exclaimed as she caught his arms. "Don't want you cracking your skull open on day one. Nothing healthy about that."
"No…there certainly isn't," Mordecai agreed.
With Shaylin's help, Mordecai was eventually able to reach the top ledge and the two joined the rest of the team and introduced themselves. Together they all entered the cave.
"Not too shabby, not too shabby," Caullie remarked.
"Actually, it's the very definition of shabby," Mary-Anne groaned.
"I must agree with the lady," Hunter said. "Home sweet home, it is not."
"You guys need to chill out," Duke said. "I think this place is awesome."
"Well, of course you'd feel right in place in a dank cave," Hunter remarked.
"Welcome!" Max exclaimed as he stepped out of the shadows. "To the team…of EVIL! Bwa ha ha ha!"
"Oh great, this loser," Caullie sighed.
"Watch your tongue!" Max snapped. "I am not just some loser. I am the loser who is in charge of you as a team!"
"So, Mr. Loser," Shaylin asked. "What may I ask is the name of our fine team?"
"You shall be known as…" Max declared ominously. "…Team Cancer!"
"To reflect how you were a cancer to your season?" Mary-Anne asked.
"What? No," Max said in confusion. "To reflect my zodiac sign."
With a 'ping' a purple icon with a crab on it appeared in the button corner.
"Now go make confessionals about how awesome your new team and its host is!" Max ordered.
Confessional:
Hunter-Naturally, I applied for this game with the intention of testing my might and winning it all. But as soon as my delinquent brother heard about it, he just had to butt in and get in on it. I am the golden child of the family, and his only shot at glory is riding my wake. It really is quite sad.
Duke-When I came home one day and heard that Hunter was planning to do this show I thought it must have been some kind of joke. I mean, sure, Hunter's good at some things, but this isn't some spelling bee or chess tournament. It's a cutthroat game, and I wasn't about to stand by and just let him get eaten alive.
Caullie-Yeah, I'm…kinda a klutz at times. I just get so eager and excited sometimes I get a bit ahead of myself. I just need to keep cool and not mess up too bad and I'm sure I'll be fine…probably.
Mary-Anne-I can be nice, sure. I can play the 'social game' and put on a happy face for these morons. But I will not tolerate being jerked around, so they mess with me just once and believe me they will live to regret it!
Mordecai-I love watching Total Drama…Uber too. I finally built up the courage to apply earlier this year…but well…I guess I was kinda hoping it'd be one of the seasons that didn't require wildness survival skills…heh, yeah I kinda overlooked that part…oh who am I kidding, I'm going to be dead before the first challenge.
Shaylin-I've got plenty of experience working as my school's assistant secretary, so I am well prepared to bring my skills to the aid of whoever shall need them. Mr. Mordecai needs a helping hand? Well he's got one! And I get an ally in return! It's win-win!
(Team 2)
A group of six was walking through a forest patch along the side of the mountain. Bringing up the rear was a girl with frizzy brown hair down up in a ponytail. She wore a blue shirt with gold rings across it and a long beige skirt. Next to her was a boy with neatly combed brown hair, a button-up black and white suit, brown pants, and a red bowtie.
"Lovely, isn't it?" the boy asked as he ran his hand through a patch of flowers.
He pulled out a bouquet and handed it to the girl.
"Yes," she answered matter-of-factly. "Yes, it is, I suppose."
"Hm," the boy remarked. "That does not sound like someone awed by the sheer raw beauty of Mother Nature all around us."
"Sorry," the girl answered simply. "I guess I'm in game mode already, not a lot of time to focus on the little details."
"My dear, it is the little details that make up life," the boy replied. "A forest is nothing, but thousands of individual trees."
"Well, I guess that's one way of seeing it," the girl said.
"You have the chance to walk on an untouched jewel," the boy continued, "and you're thinking about a silly little game."
"The game is why we're all here, is it not?" the girl retorted.
"Why are you asking me?" the boy said. "I speak for me and me only. By the by, Florian is the name."
"Pleasure to meet you, Florian," the girl said. "My name is Raven."
Up ahead of them walked a think girl with flowingly light blonde hair. She had a pair of pink sunglasses above her head and a white shirt with frilly sleeve, and blue jeans on her legs. Next to her walked a girl with auburn hair, and a matching blue jacket and skirt over a turquoise shirt.
"You know, I have to say," the redhead said, "you look so much like Haylor Dash."
The other girl laughed, "I am Haylor Dash."
The redhead's jaw dropped.
"Get. Out," the redhead gasped. "You!? For real!?"
"Very real," Haylor replied.
"But…you're like a major celebrity," the redhead said. "I listen to your music!"
"Why, thank you, always a pleasure to meet a fan," Haylor said.
"My name is Charlene," the girl said.
"Then nice to meet you, Charlene," Haylor replied.
"What are you even doing here!?" Charlene asked.
"I simply needed a break from music," Haylor said. "The record company told me I needed to start topping charts again or they'd find some new country-pop crossover act to replace me. I wasn't having any of that, so I wrote them an angry song about how I was not a commodity and it topped the charts!"
"So wait…what's the moral of that start?" Charlene asked.
"The moral is that I am awesome, and now I'm on a reality TV show," Haylor said. "It should be great fun."
Up in the lead walked a girl golden hair, a white tubetop with a heart on it and blue jeans. Next to her was a girl with very wild, frizzy orange hair, a noticeable mole on her face, and a fancy green dress covered with a red pattern.
"Take a look at this team," the blonde remarked with a scornful scoff. "Five girls and one boy, whatever were they thinking when they threw this together?"
"Oh, I a-agree wholeheartedly and a-absolutely," the other girl spoke very timidly. "W-won't you please b-be my best friend? P-Please"
"Easy there," the blond replied. "You're coming off as kinda desperate."
"I'll come off however I damn well please!" the girl retorted suddenly boisterous. "Now you have a choice, you may be my best friend or I will annihilate you!"
"Whoa, whoa, you wanna fight?" the blond said aggressively.
"Why does everything always result in fighting!?" the redhead suddenly sobbed in tears. "Why…Why can't we just have a world with peace and love where we all get along? Why? WHY!? WHY!? It's not fair I tell you!"
The girl sobbed uncontrollably and leaned against her companion.
"Okay, you're really weirding me out," the blond said awkward as she tried to break free.
"Hi, my name's Trina, what's yours!?" the girl asked, suddenly chipper with not a tear on her face.
"…Angel," the blond answered, clearly with no other idea how to respond.
The group came to a clearing where they found Staci waiting for them.
"Hello, team!" she greeted. "Welcome to your new home, uh ya. This is actually where my great great great great grand cousin's babysitter is buried."
"I thought this land has been uninhabited for centuries," Raven pointed out.
"Ya, exactly," Staci said, not offering any more explanation. "So anyways, I'm supposed to, like, give you a new name. I decided to name you after someone very dear to my heart. My great, great, great, great, great grand uncle twice removed…welcome to…Team Beethoven!"
The team glanced at each other awkwardly. Suddenly a pink icon of a musical note appeared in the bottom of the screen.
"Have fun, kids!" Staci said.
"Okay, everyone, I need to make an announcement," Charlene exclaimed. "Okay, see, here's the deal. I am kind of the head bitch of my school, and I will be the same on this team, okay? So, like you all have to do what I say and stuff and like I'll yell at you and you can't complain or vote me off or anything like that. Sounds fun, right?"
"Uh," Angel said.
"Now, let's be real here," Charlene said as she walked up to Florian. "You can be our Token Gay, you're pretty much a girl, but as soon as we have to vote you're out the door."
"But I'm not—" Florian tried to say.
Charlene then walked up to Raven and continued, "Bookworm, you can hang with us out of our own sense of self-pity, but same deal, we can't really afford to keep a loser on this team so bottom of the totem pole for you."
"That's…nice?" Raven said.
Charlene walked up to Trina next.
"You're like really ugly so we'd have to give you a makeover, except like you know what they say, it's what's on the inside that counts, so, like, you'd always be ugly on the inside and therefore you'd never truly be with the 'in' crowd," Charlene said.
"That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me," Trina sobbed.
"Haylor, you know that I love you and all your music," Charlene said. "Except I read on Wikipedia that you used to be a nerd in Middle School so…yeah, got that on your permanent record."
"Hell yeah, nerdy and proud!" Haylor exclaimed.
"You're not helping your case," Charlene remarked.
Charlene finished by walking up to Angel.
"You seem cool, you can be my number two," she declared.
"Number two?" Angel hissed.
"Now wait just a goddamn minute!" Trina suddenly shouted. "There is only one head bitch in charge on this team and it's ME!"
"Ummmmmm…I don't think so," Charlene replied.
"Sorry…oh…sorry, sorry…I won't step out of line again," Trina murmured.
Confessional:
Angel-Number two?! I am second to number! Who does this loser think she is, she's not head bitch, I am! Maybe in her private school for 'special' students like her she's in charge, but Charlene is in for a dose of reality.
Trina-Being on this wonderful little team…it just makes me feel so very…ANGRY! I hate every single one of them!
Haylor-I came to this show to get a little more in touch with the people, interact with the world below me…but you know…not too far below. I still need to be on TV or people will forget who I am. (takes out tissues and wipes eye.)
Charlene-Yeah, I felt like the best way to go was just to let my team know how it's going to be. I'm going to rule that place so they ought to learn their place.
Raven-I'm not about to let myself get distracted by anything. Friends, romance, I've done just fine without those all this time, and I think keeping my distance is exactly what's going to help me get the win.
Florian-I didn't come to this show to win. There are 23 people who are going to lose and only one who will win, the chance that it will be is quite low with those odds and if I build myself up with that expectation then I am only guaranteeing myself disappointment. What I can control, though, is that I thoroughly enjoy this once in a lifetime experience.
(Team 3)
This team was traveling through a canyon that formed between two peaks of the gargantuan mountain. A group of three walked together. A boy with bushy gold hair and goggles over them. He wore white shirt and brown pants. A tall girl with black hair in pigtails and plenty of piercing in both her face and body. She wore a tattered black tanktop that had a teeth pattern over it, and blue shorts. And a boy with brown dreadlocks, a red shirt, and khaki pants. The boy was currently staring at the girl in awe.
"What are you staring at?" the girl asked gruffly. "Do I have something on my face?"
"No, no…you're just…very pretty," the boy sighed.
"Yes, yes, don't I know it," the girl replied.
"My name's Vance, by the way," the boy said while holding out his hand.
"Pleasure to meet you, Vance!" the other boy said as he got between the two of them and eagerly shook Vance's hand. "I'm Osmond."
"Uh…hi Osmond," Vance said awkwardly.
The girl, though, seem concerned with something else.
"Look at that guy ahead of us, just leaving the rest of us behind," she scoffed. "What's his problem? Better than the rest of us?"
"I'm sure it's—" Vance tried to say.
"Hey asshole, slow down!" the girl shouted. "You've got a team, remember!?"
The boy turned around. He was a muscular boy with light brown hair. He had a gray shirt and black shorts.
"Sorry," he said with a slow shrug. "Just want to make sure we find the place."
"Oh guys!...Guys!" another girl exclaimed as she struggled to catch up. "Don't forget about me!"
This girl had fluffy brown hair with a silver ornament in it. She wore a purple dress with a floral pattern.
"Weren't you just with us?" Osmond asked. "What happened?"
"Well, I got a rock in my shoe," she replied. "And it…really hurt…so I had to stop and take it out."
"So as I was saying," Vance said to the tall girl, "I don't think I got your name."
"Oh, it's Antonia!" the girl in the dress interjected.
"Nice to meet you, Antonia," Vance said.
He turned around to talk to the other girl, only to see that she had kept walking. Vance quickly made his way back to her.
"So, right…where were we?" Vance said.
Suddenly, Vance was hit with a rock to the temple.
"Oww!" he cried out. "What was that?"
"Bullseye!" someone laughed.
Vance looked up to see a boy with very messy dusty blonde hair, a grey tank, and dark green pants. He was perched on a ledge of the cliff above them.
"What was that for?" Vance whined.
"Fun!" the boy laughed.
"You know, I must say I admire your technique," Osmond said as he walked over to the scene. "But I feel that I ought to warn you that random minor actors of violence are only going to led to a swift elimina—ow!"
The boy delivered a rock straight to Osmond's eye.
"Two for two!" he cheered.
The boy scampered along the cliffside agilely. Vance just shrugged and kept walking. Osmond, though, attempted to climb up the cliff and join the boy. He was far less graceful, though, and stumbled awkwardly as he tried to catch up with him.
"So…" Osmond said as he hung awkwardly above the boy. "My name is Osmond…do share yours."
"Banner," the boy answered before delivering the slightest of taps to the rock Osmond was clinging to.
It dislodged and suddenly Osmond was rolling to the ground. He hit the hard surface and then was crushed by the walking rock. Banner winced mockingly with a cruel smile. He then picked up another stone and tossed it at the tall girl. She caught it in midair and tossed it back at Banner, pegging him in the forehead.
"Nice shot!" Vance praised.
"Thanks," the girl grunted.
"So uh, what did you say your name wa—" he tried to asked.
"Welcome, team!" Topher exclaimed as the group arrived at a rocky pit. "This is your new home!"
"Oh um…" Antonia said uncertainly. "Well…where do we sleep?"
"Here!" Topher said as he gestured all around him, never breaking his grin.
"Ah, um…I see," Antonia said. "Okay, that's a lie, I actually don't see. It's…rock."
"Welcome to Uber Drama, I hope you enjoy your stay!" Topher said to her.
"You uh…you didn't really answer my question," Antonia said.
"Anyways," Topher said, ignoring Antonia, "you guys are my team, and you need a suiting name. In a classic throwback, you shall be known as…Team Topher Is Really Really Really Hot!"
A blue picture of Topher's face appeared in the corner of the screen.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Chris exclaimed as he suddenly emerged from behind a rock. "That is blatant false advertising! You're two 'reallies' and even that's pushing it!"
"Okay, Chris, didn't you say you were late for a massage?" Topher said as he shoved the host away.
"I said no such thing," Chris pouted, but then looked at his watch. "But now that you mention it, I am!"
"Alright, guys, make yourselves comfy!" Topher said.
The group sat down on the rocks.
"Oh, here's an idea," Vance said. "How about we all introduce ourselves…you know…name, interests, favorite color, did I mention names? That's kinda important."
"Well, my name is Wesley," said the muscular boy. "I like jogging, mountain-climbing…outdoorsy things…Uh my favorite colour I'd have to say is gray."
"Um," Antonia interjected. "That's not a very good favorite colour."
"It's just an opinion," Wesley shrugged.
"Yeah, except no," Antonia said. "Gray isn't actually a colour, and if it is it wouldn't be a very pretty one."
"Guys, I'm sure it doesn't matter," Vance said. "Let's just move along—"
"I'm sorry but this is kind of very important," Antonia said. "I mean, when was the last time you went to the store to buy a gray shirt?"
"Uh?" Wesley said as he looked down at his gray shirt.
"What about you!?" Vance suddenly asked the tall girl. "What's your name!?"
"Gabriela," she answered.
"Hi, Gabriela, I'm Vance!" he exclaimed.
"Yeah…you said that," Gabriela pointed out.
Confessional:
Vance-Gabriela is the most perfect human being I've ever laid my eyes on. She and I are meant to be together I can just feel it in my soul, I'm sure she feels it too deep down inside.
Wesley-I tried to make it pretty clear what kind of use I am going to be to my team. Probably wasn't very subtle, but social skills…yeah, I've got not much there…I'm really going to rely on people having a reason to keep me around.
Antonia-I know I don't have a lot of physical strength, so I really need to make sure I don't make any enemies…but I just couldn't allow this 'gray being a colour' nonsense to go on…I mean…come on (laughs awkwardly)
Banner-I just wanna mess with these guys, see how riled up I can get them. I know what you're going to say, 'That's just going to make me an early boot.' (shrugs) If I go early because of it, so be it, but I'd rather have a little fun while I'm here.
Osmond-Now, I do have a certain appreciation for people who are willing to get their hands dirty with a little drama, feeds the show I say…but! But, too many fatal errors and they'll be sent packing way before their time. That's where I come in, any aspiring villains come to me, and I show them the act of finesse! (attempts to lean against a rock, slips and falls over)
Gabriela-I think I'm a pretty simple person. You don't try to mess with me, I don't come after you. I take care of my friends, so if this team proves to be that, they'll find themselves with an ally in me.
(Group 4)
This group of six was walking through a muddy trail. In the lead was a girl with black hair and red highlights, she wore a grey jacket and skirt, and a black shirt and tights. Next to her walked a boy with messy brown hair in a short ponytail. He wore a red button-up shirt and beige pants.
"So…uh…" the boy muttered nervously. "I'm uh…not really too sure how to um…say this…I uh…rehearsed it in my head but um…well here goes…hi."
The girl cracked a thin smile.
"Hi there," she said. "What's your name, hun?"
"Name? Um…my name?" the boy asked.
"That's what I said," the girl replied.
"Right! Of course, of course," the boy said. "It's uh…just give me a sec here…it's on the tip of my tongue…oh right! Reggie! Yeah…I didn't forget my own name…of course not!"
"Nice to meet you, Reggie," the girl said. "My name is Deirdre."
"Hi, Deirdre, I will remember that name!" Reggie exclaimed.
"So, why not tell me a bit about yourself, Reggie?" Deirdre asked. "That is, if you can remember."
"Ha ha…heh…ha…good one," Reggie said awkwardly. "Are you asking me for an alliance?"
"Uh…no?" Deirdre said.
"Good! Hah, I mean…why would you? I'm certainly not!" Reggie laughed.
Deirdre gave an awkward smile in return. Behind them walked a blonde girl with a fancy white coat over a blue jacket and a pair of jeans. Next to her was a plump girl with black hair, a striped white and blue shirt, and green pants.
"So, like, my name's Faith," said the blond.
"The pleasure is all mine," the other girl responed. "My name is Serendipity."
"That is, like, such a hard name to pronounce," Faith said. "Can I just call you Sera?"
"No," Serendipity replied.
"Alright then, Seraditty it is," Faith replied.
"No, say it with me now, Se-ren-dip-it-y," Serendipity said.
"Se-ra-dit-ty," Faith echoed erroneously.
Suddenly, Faith slipped and fell in the mud.
"Aw man," she groaned. "My jeans are all dirty already."
"Hmph, no big deal," Serendipity replied. "My Grandmammy used to say if you're clothes aren't meant to get dirty then what are you paying for?"
"Wow, like, your grandmamma sounds so wise," Faith replied. "Mine just gave me milk and cookies."
Bringing up the rear was a boy with scraggly black hair and a green headband. He wore a black zip-up jacket over a gray shirt and green shorts. Next to him was a boy with fuzzy roan hair, big box-like glasses, a green shirt with red suspenders, and teal pants.
"Hey, you need a hand?" the boy in suspenders asked. "You seem to be falling behind."
"What? You saying I'm too slow for you?" the other boy accused.
"Oh no! Oh no no no, oh no, definitely not, no one is saying anything of the sort," the bespectacled boy exclaimed. "In fact, let's start over, okay? My name's Arlo, what's yours?"
"Cesar," the other boy answered.
"Cesar, it is good to meet you," Arlo said. "I hope we'll be friends"
"Sure, whatever your say," Cesar replied.
The group eventually found the mud led to a lake in a pool along the mountain. Jo was waiting for them at the side.
"Get your butts down here!" she barked. "My team is not going to be messing around when you've got work to do!"
The team hopped down to meet her.
"Alright, guys, from now on you're going to be known as The Golden Tigers!" Jo declared. "Because gold is the colour of champions, and everyone knows that tigers never lose in a fight!"
"But uh…what if they were, like, fighting Superman?" Faith asked.
"Superman isn't real!" Jo spat.
"Wait…what!?" Faith cried.
"Now let's get something clear," Jo said. "I'm lending my name to you, which mean you are not going to taint it. I know how this works in the past season. Courtney and Eva saying their seasons would be the best just to look like fools…but this will NOT be the case. You guys will be the best, end of story!"
"Eh, we'll try," Cesar shrugged.
"You'll try? You'll try!?" Jo breathed ragefully as she glared down at Cesar. "You will not TRY! You simply will do it!"
"Lady…chill out," Cesar replied.
"You know, it's a good thing I'm not allowed to influence you guys, or else I might hint to vote you out first," Jo remarked.
"Yeah, good thing," Cesar replied.
"Miss Jo, I appreciate your concern for us, but I think we can take it from here," Serendipity said.
"Can you? Can you!?" Jo demanded. "Because right now all I see is a bunch of nobodies, when I come back I want to see a team of champions!"
"Oh so like…should we switch with one of the other teams?" Faith asked.
"You're better off not talking," Jo said.
Confessional:
Deirdre-Already we seem to be off to…well quite the start. I think this team will have a lot of work to do if we want to live up to Jo's expectations, but hey, I'm not saying it's impossible. I'll gladly put in my share if they do the same.
Reggie-Oh man, I'm already making a bad impression, I just know it! See, thing is…I'm really not sure how to do this whole strategy thing? It looks so easy on TV, but I try to think of what to say and my brain just freezes and all that comes out is a garbled mess. I…I need to work on this…
Serendipity-This team seems like a bunch of good and fine people, I intend to take good care of them and nurture them to the champions they were meant to be.
Faith-Okay, so like…I'm not actually that dumb. I play it up cause, you know, it's fun, and people love a ditz. I think it will be so much easier to play this game if that's how people see me.
Cesar-Look, I'm not going to be doing any more work than I have to, and far as I'm concerned, that's none. This team needs to learn to not expect anything from me and then we'll all just get along.
Arlo-I'm just…I'm just so worried that this team will turn into a mess…That's always the worst, right. When teams tear themselves apart because they just can't get along…we can't let that happen…I can't let that happen, see!?
(Team Cancer)
The team had explored the caves. They found small chambers in the side of the wall, which they had cleared out to sleep in.
"Hm, it's getting dark," Hunter noted. "I can't imagine it's going to be very warm in here at night."
"Aw shoot," Caullie remarked. "Guess we better prepared for that."
"With that?" Mary-Anne asked. "There's nothing but rocks around here."
"I'm sure we can scrounge up something," Caullie said. "Here, let's split up. I'll go with the brothers and gather some firewo—"
"Please do not refer to us as such," Hunter said. "I am my own individual. And for that matter, I'd rather not spent any more time with this twit than necessary. I already have to live with him."
"Uh, okay," Caullie said. "Duke, Mary-Anne, and I will look for firewood. The rest of you look for some grass, leaves, anything that we can use to comfy this place up a little."
"On it!" Duke said as he got up.
The two groups split up and headed out.
"So uh…" Mordecai said nervously. "I'm not exactly sure how to go about this…"
"Here you go!" Shaylin exclaimed as she handed him a list.
"Oh uh…what is this?" Mordecai asked.
"It's a list of all the species of moss from softest to least soft," Shaylin declared with a smile.
"Oh…I see," Mordecai said.
The three headed out and began to walk along the ridge of mountain side. Mordecai was trying to read the long list that Shaylin had written for him. As he focused on it, he didn't realize that he was coming close to the edge. He ended up walking right over and stumbling downward.
"Hey…where'd he go?" Shaylin asked as she turned around.
"Where'd who go?" Hunter asked without much concern.
"Look, moss!" Shaylin exclaimed eagerly as she spotted her treasure.
Meanwhile, on the other end, the group of three was gathering up whatever little twigs they could find.
"So, what's the deal with your brother?" Caullie asked Duke.
"Ah, he loves me," Duke chuckled. "Just has a funny way of showing it."
"Looks like you have to put up with a lot," Caullie remarked.
"You could say that," Duke said. "But the way I see it, I could disappear and he'd suddenly realize how much he misses me."
Caullie bent over to grab a stick, only to bump heads with Mary-Anne.
"Ow, you clumsy, stupid, ignorant oaf!" she shouted.
"Uh…sorry," Caullie said meekly.
Caullie and Duke shared a worried look.
Confessional:
Mordecai-…ow.
Hunter-Honestly, we're on a game with four teams…that means three other teams you could have stuck me on, but no, you just had to stick me with my brother. You're probably getting sick laughs off of this aren't you?
Shaylin-Give me a few minutes, and I'll have a moss algorithm ready to calculate just how much we'll need to bring in each day.
Caullie-Having a pair of brothers in this game…well I guess that could be something to worry about. They may act like they're distant, but hey, if one of them wins they'll surely split the prize money, so that could be something to watch out for. I'm not too worried, though, they seem like good people.
Mary-Anne-What's not to love about me? I'm perfectly charming, I'm the most goddamn charming person you'll ever meet!
Duke-Yeah, I guess I'm kind of worried that Hunter and I could be pegged as a duo, but then again it's not like how that's different than any other alliance…probably weaker even since Hunter will do whatever he can to differentiate his game from mine.
(Team Beethoven)
Angel and Florian were putting sticks together to form a shelter against a tree. Haylor and Raven were gathering leaves for padding, and Trina attempted to start a fire.
"Out, damn flame, I command thee out!" she roared at the sticks as she rubbed them together. "What am I doing wrong!? I'm such a screwup! I ruin everything I touch!"
"Let's see…" Florian said as he tied a group of sticks together. "Perfect."
"Mm…no, no, I don't think so," Charlene remarked as she looked over the shelter. "I don't like the colour."
"It's wood," Angel pointed out. "What colour do you expect it to be?"
"I don't know, but it looks tacky and I'm not sleeping in that," Charlene said.
"Fine then sleep on the outside," Angel scoffed.
"Um I don't think it works like that," Charlene said.
Meanwhile, Raven had decided to strike up some conversation with Haylor.
"So…you're famous?" she asked.
"Indeed I am, thanks for noticing," Haylor replied.
"Guess that makes you this season's Nile, then," Raven remarked.
"Who?" Haylor asked.
"You know, winner of the first season?" Raven said. "He was a teen idol."
"Aw, it's so sweet for you to compare me to some small town hero that you have, but no, I'm a real person," Haylor said with a plastic smile.
"Ah, I see," Raven replied.
Confessional:
Trina-(sobbing) My team is going to HATE me I can't even start a simple fire (sobs profusely) And that's THEIR problem, not mine! Anyone wants to bring it up with me I'll show them a little fire of my own!
Charlene-You know what's funny? I don't actually care about the colour, I just wanted something to complain about it (chortles). You know, assert my dominance? Although, come to think of it, I guess there's not a lot of colours that wood can be…hm, maybe I should have complained about the placement…yeah, I'll do that next time.
Florian-It will likely be a cold night, but I for one welcome it, that is what we signed on for, no?
Angel-I swear, if Charlene opens her mouth one more time I will punch her lights right out!
Raven-Haylor already being rich and famous could be something to easily turn the target onto her. Sure, you could say that no one would let her get to the end…but they clearly didn't stop Nile.
Haylor-You know, it's sad, but sometimes people forget that I'm more than just a singer. I'm more than just a pretty face, actress, fashion-designer, autobiographical novelist, media icon, pony rancher, and winner of the Canadian Scope's Weekly Person of Interest…I'm also a real human.
(Team Topher is Really Really Really Hot)
The team had found some hollow rocks which they were able to get comfortable enough in.
"Looks like the hosts have some mercy," Gabriela remarked.
"We're still likely going to need a fire," Wesley pointed out. "These could last us for now, but when night hits, it'll be getting cold."
"I'll look out for some wood," Gabriela offered.
"Ooh, I'll go too!" Antonia exclaimed. "I'm being helpful!"
"And I'll come as well," Vance offered.
"Guys, it's just some wood," Gabriela said. "We don't need a whole party here."
"Oh…okay…I'll just…do something else…then," Vance sighed.
Meanwhile, Osmond had dragged banner into a separate stone hut.
"Alright, let's talk," Osmond said.
Banner rolled his eyes with disinterest.
"It's clear that you're here to play up that big and bully type and I support that fully!" Osmond said. "But I do not want to see you go out early because of that. So I propose that you let me do all the planning, and then you put it in action. It's brilliant! We'll be unstoppable!"
"Uh, sure okay," Banner said as he grabbed Osmond's goggles and snapped them over his eyes. "You come up with your evil plan and uh…run it by me when you're done."
Gabriela and Antonia had wandered away from the camp, and found a few pieces of twigs scattered around.
"So, what do you make of the team?" Antonia asked.
Gabriela shrugged, "They seem alright. Guess it's a little early to tell."
"Right, right, true," Antonia said. "But you know…we've got this whole girl power thing going on. With a majority of men here, might be smart to stick together."
"I don't see why not," Gabriela said. "I'm always open to a good partnership."
"Awesome!" Antonia exclaimed.
Confessional:
Vance-I have to get Gabriela to notice me…I mean, I don't have to spend 24 hours a day with her…although that might not be a bad idea…
Antonia-I want to kick something off with Gabriela right away. The worst thing I can do is head into a round with no clear alliances. Sure, it's early, but if you don't plan early, you could end up as first boot!
Gabriela-I agreed to work with Antonia, she seems nice enough, and I could use someone at my side. It's still early, though, so we'll see where this goes.
Osmond-Partnering with Banner is actually the perfect crime. Should anything go amiss, he's the one who takes the fall not I! Brilliant I tell you, brilliant!
Banner-If you're going to make 'rules' for villainy…then that kind of defeats the whole purpose. Chaos has no rules, it just let's whatever happens happen.
Wesley-I noticed a lot of the team breakup into groups later today…I'm hoping that's not a sign of alliances forming…but it's probably far too early for anything like that.
(The Golden Tigers)
Most of the team was gathering wood to put together a box-shaped shelter against the mountain side. They had managed to secure a sturdy foundation by now.
"Ugh," Cesar groaned as he dropped his load and sat down. "I think I sprained my ankle, I need to stop and rest."
"You're probably fine," Deirdre remarked. "Get up and walk it off."
"Oh, whatever are you thinking!?" Serendipity gasped. "He hurt himself! You heard him, he needs rest."
"We've got to get this done before dark," Deirdre pointed out. "We can't afford to slow down."
"So you'd have an injured boy risk getting worse?" Serendipity accused. "Cesar, hun, just sit down, we'll take it from here."
"Look, I'm just saying—" Deirdre tried to say.
"Guys, guys, guys, there is no reason to get upset, okay!?" Arlo exclaimed as he jumped between the group.
"Well, I'm jus—" Deirdre tried to say.
"Shh," Arlo said as he held a finger to her lips.
"All I was—" Serendipity tried to add.
"Shh," Arlo said silencing her as well. "Happy team, happy team."
Meanwhile, Faith and Reggie were trying to get a fire going.
"So uh…um…Faith, is it?" Reggie stammered. "Well uh….oh…well…you see…this is…it's it…it's a little awkward…I don't usually uh…um…er…you know…talk to a lot of…well…pretty girls…"
"Oh shucks, you think I'm pretty?" Faith exclaimed.
"Er…um…not in a bad way," Reggie said.
"I don't think there's, like, a bad way to take that," Faith giggled.
"Oh…oh well then…that's good news," Reggie said.
"It certainly is," Faith replied.
"So…alliance?" Reggie whispered.
"What was that?" Faith asked.
"What? Nothing, oh nothing…did you hear something? I didn't say anything," Reggie said nervously.
"Cause it sounded like—" Faith tried to say.
"It was the wind! Must have been the wind…crazy old wind…you know how it is," Reggie chuckled.
Confessional:
Cesar-Mission: Success.
Serendipity-It may sound strange to those robotic types, but I actually care for each and every person on this time. Someone says they sprained their ankle, shoot, I'm going to take that seriously. Don't need people getting injured all over the place.
Deirdre-I think Serendipity let Cesar off way too easy. The guy didn't even trip on anything, he just decided he'd had enough work. Bet on it, he's pulling a fast one on us.
Arlo-Aah! Conflict already, see!? This is bad! This is so bad!
Faith-Reggie is…an odd fellow… very nervous, that's for sure. But ain't no reason I can't work that to my advantage.
Reggie-Just shut up, shut up! Stop talking or you'll make things worse!
(Later)
The night set on the mountain. A wolf howled in the distance. The camera panned up and down the mountain to show the different teams, all huddled up for warmth. It then rested on Chris, standing in front of his van.
"Well, that about does it for our first day," Chris declared. "Tomorrow the teams will actually compete for immunity! How will these different people come together? Who will win safety, and who will face a vote? Who will be the very first casualty of this game!? Find out when we return with more…Uber Drama Mountain of Madness!"
Team:
Team Cancer:
Mary-Anne
Caullie
Duke
Hunter
Mordecai
Shaylin
Team Beethoven:
Angel
Trina
Charlene
Florian
Raven
Haylor
Team Topher is Really Really Really Hot:
Gabriela
Antonia
Vance
Banner
Wesley
Osmond
The Golden Tigers:
Serendipity
Deirdre
Arlo
Reggie
Faith
Cesar
Author's Note: Tell me what you think! Who do you like, who do you hate, who will go far, who is just fodder!?