Clerks 2:

Clerk Harder

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Scene One: Dante's Bedroom

(The phone rings. Dante falls from a shelf. Dante picks up the phone.)

DANTE

Hello? No way. It's my day off. (pause) My day off. (pause) But Randal's cousin's comic book store is having a grand opening. Grand opening. I told him I'd meet him there. No. I'm not coming in. Forget it.

(He slams it back down and climbs into his bed. The phone rings again. Dante doesn't answer. It keeps ringing. He picks it up angrily.)

DANTE

Piss off.

VERONICA (on phone)

Dante?

DANTE

Veronica!

VERONICA (on phone)

Yeah, hi. Look, my class is probably going to be running a little late today so-

(There is a beeping noise on the receiver.)

DANTE

Uh, hold on, I think I have another call.

(He presses the button.)

DANTE

Hello?

DOCTOR (on phone)

Hello, Mr. Hicks. I'm Doctor Andrews at the Strawberry Hills Asylum?

DANTE

Yes?

DOCTOR (on phone)

It seems that your girlfriend Caitlin Bree has started to talk rationally, and can feed herself again.

DANTE

Uh, Caitlin's not my girlfriend.

DOCTOR (on phone)

Yeah, whatever. Look, we have some friends and family here, and I was just wondering if you'd come down today to see her. As soon as possible.

DANTE

Uh, okay, Doctor Andrews. Goodbye.

(He goes back to Veronica.)

VERONICA (on phone)

Dante, who was that?

DANTE

That was Randal. He wants to borrow my car. I said no. Anyway, what were you saying?

VERONICA (on phone)

My classes are going to be running a little late today, so I don't think I'll be able to meet you at the comic store.

DANTE

Uh, I probably won't be going anyway. I need sleep. The people next door were playing music really late last night.

VERONICA (on phone)

Oh, well, just make sure you have a big sleep and I'll see you later.

DANTE

Yep, bye.

(He hangs up. It rings again.)

DANTE

Christ, what am I now, an operator?

(He picks it up.)

DANTE

What? (pause) You're firing me?

(Roll opening credits.)