Code Geass does not belong to me; if it did Lelouch would be mine.
Into the Enchanted Darkness
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. –Crowfoot*
Diminishing sunlight filtered through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the palace's expansive library casting shadows between the innumerable bookshelves. Lelouch vi Britannia 99th Emperor of Britannia sat at a table next to one of the sizeable windows, reading by sunlight and savoring his solitude. Since his victory at the Sword of Damocles he'd been reading books that he never cared to pick up during his stint as Zero leader of the Black Knights. It had started with Alice in Wonderland, a book he'd considered too whimsical for his tastes, but after reading it he found himself wishing he could escape into world where an overdose of growth liquid was his biggest concern. Of course he'd known that such an idea was wishful thinking. It was only a book after all.
Afterwards he'd read Moby Dick one of his favorites, a book that did not spout metaphysical nonsense at him whenever he dared to crack it open. He could relate to Captain Ahab, a man willing to perform whatever dastardly deed he had to in his dogged pursuit to slay the object of his revenge. Getting revenge on his father for abandoning them as political tools in a foreign land and creating a world gentle enough for Nunnally had been his white whale, and now that goal was upon the threshold of its realization. The book that currently lay splayed before him was a compilation of Edgar Allen Poe's, the Master of Macabre as he'd heard it coined, greatest works. Usually he would not bother to read the works of a madman, but tonight he was in a dark mood and thus felt like shrouding himself in the gloom of gothic narratives. Presently, he was reading The Cask of Amontillado.
Moments ticked by until the sunlight was no more and only the darkness of night enveloped him. Still, Lelouch sat in the chair brow furrowed, mouth set in a frown, eyes directed at the book. Though his lavender gaze was upon the book they remained unfocused, his mind not bothering to process the letters before him into words as he reflected upon his life course. Only when the grand chandelier hanging in the center of the library's ceiling came on did he emerge from his brooding. He switched his attention to the person in the room, a kitchen maid. She was here to tell him that dinner was ready no doubt.
She curtseyed politely to the young king and spoke in a humble voice, "dinner is ready Your Majesty."
"On the terrace of my chambers I assume." He flipped a page and rested his chin on his wrist, maintaining his air of superiority.
"Yes Your Majesty," she replied, clasping her hands in front of herself in a gesture of humility.
He closed the book and gracefully rose to his feet, disregarding her on his way out of the room. He strode down extravagantly decorated corridors and winding staircases until he reached his room. He turned the golden handles of the door and entered, ignoring the lavish décor of his chambers as he strutted to the exquisite flagstone veranda. On the balcony was a table set with all of his favorite foods (including desserts), the best of the palace's silverware, and the choicest of wine (Lafite Rothschild 1949 Red Bordeaux). Ever since he'd formulated Zero Requiem he'd been taking his dinner alone on the terrace, because it seemed that he only found a shred of solace in seclusion.
He pulled back a chair and sat down gracefully. Instead of digging into the decadent delicacies spread before him, he sent his gaze heavenward. It was a clear night. The stars hanging in the dense night sky seemed to shine brighter tonight as if they'd drawn closer to the Earth congregating themselves together as spectators of his, the boy who declared he would destroy the juggernaut known as Britannia and change the world, misery and death. He smirked grimly. The sound of the veranda doors sliding open awakened him from his wandering thoughts. He cut his eyes to the figure striding to the table. Suzaku Kururugi, another of his partners in the Zero Requiem. "Ah, Suzaku. Come, join me for my last supper." He gestured to the seat opposite him, placing his light-hearted mask into place.
The knight frowned at those words but did not sit. "Why did you ask me to do this?"
Lelouch used a corkscrew to remove the top from the bottle and proceeded to pour two glasses of red wine, taking a relaxed sup from one of the goblets. "Hm?"
Suzaku scowled at the young man seated at the table looking at him with a dispassionate countenance. "Why did you ask me to kill you? I can't do it!" He couldn't- he couldn't murder his dearest childhood friend. Because he didn't want to see those incredible amethyst eyes glaze over and succumb to death.
"Nonsense," he stated coolly. "Think about Euphy and I'm sure you'll find the act much easier to perform." He inserted a spoonful of vichyssoise into his mouth and savored the creaminess embracing his palate, watching the other male like a hawk. A pang shot through him when he perceived the other's desperate countenance. He hated when Suzaku looked at him with that face, but he would ignore it, because if he allowed himself to continue to gaze upon his knight's expression those emerald eyes would eventually sway him.
Suzaku clenched his fists so hard his knuckles turned white. The mention of her name did not incur such wrath and animosity towards Lelouch as it once had, because deep down he knew that he'd forgiven his friend for it. "Why don't we just run away Lelouch?"
He raised a delicate eyebrow, knowing that now was not the time to be joking but unable to help himself he spoke, "together?"
The implied tone in his voice caused the other's cheeks to dust pink but didn't deter him. "We could hop on the first train out of here." He placed a hand on the chair's top, clenching it until his nails dug into its upholstery.
Lelouch fixed a piercing gaze upon his knight. "And where would you have us go?"
The question caught him off guard; he'd expected him to flat out shoot the suggestion down with the utmost forthrightness not ask that question. "The countryside. We could live together… a-as roommates of course and--." The clang of Lelouch's fork falling loudly against his plate interrupted his train of thought.
"The world hates me Suzaku," he said ruefully. "Running away would not appease the masses." He'd went to visit Nunnally the previous night and the way she'd looked at him, with such profound disbelief and heartbreak, that he'd felt his own heart crumble and turn to dust. No, he could not live if she no longer gave him that smile that lit up his world.
"But why do I have to kill you!"
"Because this is the way it has to be! I must die in order to create the better world. That is the Zero Requiem!" He slammed a fist down on the table for emphasis. "The very same plan that we agreed to, that you promised to through with," he rumbled authoritatively, violet eyes boring mercilessly into emerald. "You are not breaking your word to your emperor are you, Knight of Zero?" He knew the brown haired boy; he was honest and honorable, considering his word his bond.
Suzaku's shoulders sagged. There was no talking his friend out of this. It was going to be done and he would see it fulfilled to the bitter end. "No Your Majesty." He sat down across from the teenage emperor and picked up the second glass of wine, taking a deep swig. "I guess if anyone's going to kill you it going to me," he joked.
A small smile faintly rolled over Lelouch's lips at his knight's attempt at a jest, but he continued to eat.
Suzaku supposed he would start dinner off with the miso soup and ladled some into his bowl. "You keep eating like this Lulu and you're gonna lose that girlish figure."
Lelouch's eyes narrowed at his companion. "Like hell I would. And besides it's the eve of my demise, I should have a feast fit for a king."
Tension as thick as pea soup and a deafening silence surrounded them. Then after a few moments, Suzaku broke the strained silence. "How can you be so calm about dying tomorrow?"
Lelouch chewed a little longer than usual then took a slow drink of his wine. He didn't want to answer the question, not at the moment, for fear his voice would reveal his true emotions. He eyed his knight, sliding his gaze over the chestnut locks and melancholy emerald orbs. Well, he was going to die tomorrow, now seemed as good a time as any to reveal half of the truth. "There will be no place in the peaceful new world for a monster like me." Okay, he lied. Truth was, that with every life taken because of him, every time he deceived his loved ones, every mask he'd worn, and every time those that he'd once thought more than acquaintances glared at him with blatant hatred he'd died a little. Now, he'd had so many dyings already, that it didn't matter that tomorrow would be his real death, because there was nothing left of him to salvage.
Suzaku's face softened and he looked down at the remnants of his miso soup. There was nothing he knew to say that would help Lelouch feel better. It was impossible to comfort him. He was going to die tomorrow. Suzaku had only felt so helpless in his life a few times and this was at the top of his list. Agony pierced him when he saw the tormented expression fluttering over the emperor's face. "Lelouch…" The emotions swirling in those violet eyes when they rose to him impaled his heart and made him rethink what he was going to say. "I didn't know sukiyaki was one of your favorite dishes."
Lelouch's features instantly lightened. "A lot of things from Japan rubbed off on me," he replied, keeping an eye on Suzaku to make sure he didn't consume all of the sukiyaki.
"Like what?" Suzaku queried a half-smile on his face.
"Like the food you idiot," he snapped before daintily inserting a morsel of filet mignon into his mouth.
He grinned, pleased to see his dear friend back to his snappish self. "Or a certain someone?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Lelouch's cheeks flushed but he scowled, thinking of how silly Suzaku looked when he waggled his eyebrows. "I should have never invited you to dine with me," he groused.
Suzaku sucked up a mouthful of noodles. "But you did," he pointed out.
He sighed heavily. "A mistake on my part."
They conversed light-heartedly as they consumed the feast before them, merrily laughing together occasionally. After they finished their meal and Lelouch managed to wolf down a slice of strawberry flan even after all the food he'd managed to put away at dinner, they decided to sit on the balcony's railing and stargaze.
Lelouch looked up into the vastness of the night sky and at the celestial luminaries twinkling in its expansiveness. He chuckled softly.
"What's so funny?"
He shook his head. "Nothing, I was just thinking about how pointless it is for man to think so highly of themselves. Compare us to the sky and we're nothing but bubbles floating aimlessly upon the wind for but a moment until we disappear, melting into the stream of time like we never existed. At least that's how it goes for those of us that don't have a Code." He laughed grimly. "Why strive so hard for our goals when in the end we leave everything behind? It's like striving after the wind, it's vanity at its most pristine."
Suzaku turned his attention to the raven-haired boy sitting next to him. "Life is not empty. Striving after what we want is not vanity. It's the only way we can make life meaningful. And you're wrong to say something like that, no, you're wrong to even think that."
Lelouch frowned, his gaze hardening to the knight. "This from the guy that wants to die."
Suzaku pinched his lips, narrowing his eyes at the teenager next to him. "Because you—!" He broke off his sentence when Lelouch turned away, hanging his head so that his dark bangs concealed his eyes. When he spoke, his voice was raw and thick with tears.
"Suzaku?" He said softly. "Do you think that there will be anyone in this world that won't remember me as a monster, as the Devil Emperor?" He didn't truly care about the world, but his question was actually about Nunnally. Right now his beloved sister, the person he'd broken his soul for thought him a cold-hearted fiend. But perhaps it was the best, in lieu of what was to take place tomorrow.
Suzaku couldn't see Lelouch's eyes, but he could see the tears cascading from them down his pale cheeks. He wouldn't let Lelouch go to his grave thinking that everyone in the world hated him, that no matter where he turned there would be nothing but unyielding hatred. Gently he placed a hand on his friend's slender shoulders. "If everyone else sees you that way Lelouch, know that I don't."
Lelouch looked at him with tear-filled eyes and smiled, silently thanking him.
Suzaku smiled and drew him into a warm embrace, allowing him to weep in his arms.
Lelouch stood atop the float upon which he'd been seated upon his lavish throne, watching as Suzaku clothed as Zero sprinted towards him, effortlessly dodging the barrage of Knightmare gunfire. His eyes fell to the double-edged sword in his knight's hand. There it was the instrument that would end his life. No, that was not right. Suzaku was the instrument, he had always been. If he were going to die he'd always wanted it to be at Suzaku's hand not some random faceless enemy. Suzaku was the instrument; the sword was merely a tool.
He smirked as Suzaku easily bypassed Jeremiah's mock assault, vaulting from his shoulder to land on the float. Everything began to move in slow motion to Lelouch when Zero reached the zenith of the float, standing directly in front of him in the same disguise he'd worn for so long as leader of the Black Knights. He drew his gun and yelled out "you cretin!!" as planned.
Zero knocked the gun easily from his hand and neared him, sword ready to attack.
He stepped back, softly smirking. This was it, his final moments were at hand, but he was not afraid, not anymore. He who dies a thousand deaths meets the final hour with the calmness of one who approaches a well-mannered door #. At the moment he could not remember where he'd read or heard that quote, but he clung to it, because he didn't want to die and leave Nunnally in this world. He knew, though, that it had to be this way in order for the world to have a better future. There would be no place for him in this world that detested his very existence. He had to be erased. It pained him to no end, but he accepted his fate. He accepted his death.
Suzaku moved forward and with one swift move impaled the emperor, feeling the blade pierce muscle and vital organs. "L-Lelouch," was all he could say as tears spilled from his eyes and flowed down his face. His heart cracked when Lelouch fell limply against him, life starting to desert his body to death. At that moment Lelouch started to speak but his words were just background noises floating in his subconsciousness to him. All he was aware of was the terrible vibrations Lelouch's trembling caused to ripple down the sword, the potent odor of blood and approaching death, the weight of Lelouch skewered upon his weapon, and the single crimson-stained hand that rose to touch his mask. It was too much, he had to get away. "I accept that Geass," he said graciously, his brain finally processing what the fatally wounded young man had been saying. He withdrew the sword from his friend's broken body and drew away.
He watched, horrified, as Lelouch lurched forward, took a step, tumbled head over heels once, and slid down the ramp, leaving a trail of smeared crimson in his wake. The doors from one of the nearby buildings flanking the street burst open and he heard Cornelia shout something about the demon emperor being dead.
The crowd began to cheer, chanting "Zero! Zero! Zero!"
Bile rose into his throat as the crowd cheered their acclamations for the masked man that had assassinated their loathed emperor. They were celebrating the death of a boy that had sacrificed his soul and transformed himself into a monster so that the world could progress to a better future and it nauseated him. Amidst the throngs cheering his name and the commotion of Jeremiah and his men retreating all he heard were the agonizing wails of Nunnally as she mourned her beloved brother's death.
Lelouch moaned as he began regaining consciousness. His brow furrowed when he realized that he was floating, surrounded by warmth that wrapped him in a snug cocoon and seemed to pervade his very nerve endings filling him with a contentment that he had forgotten. He cracked open an eye, closing it instantly when blinding radiance stabbed into his retina. What the hell? Again he tried, opting to open them bit by bit instead of all at once so that they could get used to the light. When his eyes were finally completely open what he saw amazed him. He was floating in a vast nothingness of brilliant white light. He switched his gaze in all directions but found nothing but blinding, warm luminosity spanning as far as his eye could see.
He sat up, finding that he could float upright if he wanted. Where was he? He thought he would go to the other place when he died, not a place filled with light and warmth that sent a sparkling beam into his heart. Wait. Was this all that was left of C's World? Was this endless vacuum of enveloping light all that was left of the collective unconsciousness that he'd destroyed in his ardor hardly two months ago? Or was this a state of limbo? He had done so many unspeakable things in his relentless pursuit of his goal but had actually succeeded in creating a peaceful world where negotiations would take place around a table and not with Knightmares and the sacrifice of human lives. Was that it? Was he here because although he had performed many wrongdoings he had changed a world headed down the road to self-destruction for the better, and thus whatever deities were in charge were deliberating on his final fate. How long would he be here? Hours, days, years, or centuries? How could he tell how long he'd been here, there were no vessels for him to tell time. Maybe time didn't even exist in this plane of reality.
"Lelouch… Lelouch," an ethereal voice that seemed to come from all around him called.
He whirled around in the boundless void, searching for the owner of the voice. "Who are you?! Why am I here?!" He demanded.
"The first question does not matter, dear child. But the latter question shall be answered. You are here because you Lelouch vi Britannia are not allowed to see death. Not now at least."
"What! What do you mean I am not allowed to die?"
"Are you not happy to be given a second chance?"
"Hell no! I did what I set out to do, which most people don't achieve in their entire lifetime. I deserved my death." He continued to search the luminous nothingness seeking to speak to the owner of the voice face-to-face, even though he could see no being, physical or otherwise, in sight. The voice grew quiet, causing him to think that at any moment he'd just fade into oblivion or be struck by lightning for his harsh tone.
"So this is about penance. You did so many wicked things in your life that you feel that you deserve death, because to you it is redemption or salvation for your tortured soul. To you only in death can you find the inner peace that you could never attain during life."
He did not speak; instead he merely gazed into the radiance to see what the voice would say next.
"So you wish to die, no you think you deserve death?"
He scowled when he detected the condescension in the tone. "Yes."
"But dear child, you never lived," Voice said, obvious laughter in its tone.
"I did live!" He bellowed, growing increasingly vexed at the voice that felt that it was fit to decide his fate.
"No," Voice replied calmly. "You merely drifted along in a sea of agonizing pain."
Lelouch glared intensely into the brilliance encompassing him and tilted his chin up in defiance. "The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain,"^ he retorted.
"Spare me your quotations child. You did not live, you never allowed it. You were a mere ghost hiding behind the masks of Lelouch vi Britannia, Lelouch Lamperouge, Zero leader of the Black Knights, ever-changing, ever-drifting to one place or another, lost in the haze of perfunctory survival."
"That's not true!" He could not go back there, there was no place left for him in the world anymore. He had achieved his goal; there was no reason to live. Death was his only option, no, death was his preferred option.
Voice continued to speak, not listening to him in the least. "You existed, though no one will ever know it, for the world, to destroy the old world that was drowning in the blood of its inhabitants and recreate it into a better one. You lived your life as a phantom, dear child. And someone that performed such an honorable deed at the expense of scarring his own soul deserves a second chance."
"No! You can't do this! The world hates me. I won't even be able to go outside without someone trying to murder me!" He gazed into the brilliance, his countenance twisted in smoldering anger. "You will condemn me to a life of utter and unending solitude!"
"Perhaps, but you will have a new start. If you allow it, maybe the real Lelouch can finally be able to live his life without a mask."
He was frustrated beyond belief. Here he had accepted death and now he was being given a second chance in a world that considered him the quintessence of evil. This was not fair, but then again… "How will I live?"
"You're an intelligent child you will figure it out," Voice replied indifferently.
He growled angrily opting not to think profane words at Voice just in case it condemned him to the 'bad place'. But at least he'd be dead right? "But I don't want to--!"
"Bye now."
"Wait noooo!" He felt himself falling, plummeting at blurring speed, until finally… He regained consciousness, opting to keep his eyes closed when he saw the brilliant light from beneath his eyelids. Instant torturous pain plowed into him and he squirmed. Shit. He wished he was still floating in that damned void. The bed sank from the weight of someone and a cold towel was placed on his forehead.
"Welcome back," he heard a voice say, the same voice that had spoken to him in the luminous void.
His eyes shot open, reflexively squinting from the bright sunlight illuminating the small room in which he lay, and fell upon a beautiful woman of obvious Indian descent with golden brown hair and thoughtful hazel orbs. "Wh—" his voice cracked and died in his throat.
She patted his head dry and smiled. "You were talking during your fever. So I had a whole conversation with you. I think you thought I was God," she said with a hint of laughter in her voice. She failed to tell him that she'd only called his name and after that reamained quiet.
What? So the so-called limbo and conversation with an omnipotent being he'd had was some sort of fever-induced dream? Friggin great. He swallowed the nauseating film covering his tongue which felt like sandpaper. Why did his mouth feel like cotton? And just how bloody long had he been out? "So I didn't die."
"More or less…no." She felt his head, checking for a fever and then placed another cold towel upon his forehead.
Bloody hell. "B-but the wound…" He slid his parched tongue over dry lips. "It was fatal."
"Shame on you Lelouch."
He didn't have to see the person to know the owner of that voice, because it was a person that at been at his side constantly for such a long while. Soon a woman with a slight frame, large amber eyes, and a crop of green hair entered his vision. "C.C." He said softly.
She gave a faint smile. "You should know by now that there are other forces in this world aside from Geass. This is Padma, she is a healer."
Lelouch glowered at C.C. "I'm wounded not ignorant. Suzaku missed didn't he."
C.C. stared at him with slight vexation. "I was trying to save you the embarrassment, but if you must know, yes, he did miss, although you did lose a lot of blood and it's still a wonder how you even survived."
Lelouch groaned more from the pain when he clenched his fist. "Idiot!" He winced when his wound reminded him of its presence. How the hell could that idiot miss his heart? It wasn't exactly a small target. He had been in the Britannian military for crying out loud! He was supposed to know how to use a damned sword.
Padma wringed out the towel and touched his head again, finding that his fever was completely gone this time. "Perhaps the Creator stayed his hand, either way it's a second chance for you."
He laid a knife-edged glare upon her.
She inadvertently let out a tiny squeak and stood quickly. "How about lunch, maybe a bowl of Mulligatawny Soup and spiced tea for you Lelouch and chicken curry and ginger ale for us?" She didn't wait for them to answer. "Good. Okay, be back in a jiff." She scurried from the room and made her way to the kitchen at the front of her modest house.
Lelouch put a hand on over his face in frustration. The plan was for him to die, not almost die then be condemned to life of confinement and solitude. "Fate is a cruel witch."
C.C. flopped down on the bed and looked at the pale man lying propped up on the large white pillows, a flimsy white sheet and coverlet concealing him. "I thought you would have learned that lesson by now dear Lelouch." She swiped a through his bangs, disturbing the strands of hair plastered to his forehead from perspiration. "I thought you'd be happy to be alive and have a second chance at life. You'd seemed so sad when you formulated your plan."
He heaved a sigh, wincing when he moved to touch her hand.
"Is it because you had finally accepted death that now that it has been denied, you feel somehow cheated?"
He smirked. "You know me so well C.C." He said an acid bite to his tone. He didn't care about the fact that he was alive and not dead. What really bothered him was that because he was alive and was currently number one on the World's Most Hated list he would have to live in disguise. Being alive meant that he would have to masquerade as someone else just to go out in public, which meant that he would again be living his life behind a mask.
She also knew when he was hiding behind one of his many facades to avoid revealing his true emotions (which he was doing at this very moment). "Or is it the fact that you can't stand the idea of living behind a mask for the rest of your life?"
He frowned at her. "Is ripping a man's soul in two a part of your powers as well, immortal witch or is it just for fun?"
C.C. smiled sardonically. "You should know the answer to that question."
He glowered at her, grimacing when he sat up, his frail body trembling. "And you were there the entire time watching me, helping me to tear at my own soul until its remnants became lost in the depths of my own sin so you could further your own agenda. A true partner in crime."
She trailed her fingers lightly to his chest placing a hand on the barely visible scar. Lelouch, her dear Lelouch had almost left this world and she'd almost been too late to save him. "Yes," she said softly, lifting her hand from the scar on his chest. She pulled the coverlet from him, figuring he would pass out from the heat if she didn't.
Sharp, unbearable pain pierced him and travelled through him in shockwaves, its epicenter the injury that Suzaku had given him. He clutched his chest, daring not to pant for every deep breath only increased the torture.
C.C. stood elegantly and strode to the stand next to his bed, opening the drawer and taking out a small square pouch. She pulled the patch from the adhesive tape and placed it directly on the thin strip scarring his chest. He growled in agony for a few seconds more, before he became still and drifted off to sleep. She sat down on his bedside and placed a hand on his. "I never thought that I would ever regret finding the one person that could fulfill the contract," she said quietly. "But I do and I cannot condemn you to immortality. I cannot condemn you to the same hell that I inhabit, the same hell that those with the power of the king must reside in all their long life." She hung her head. "This is why we must soon go our separate ways." She leaned over and gently kissed his forehead, gazing upon his handsome face again. She would help him find the right disguise for himself and make sure that he had the necessities before she left, but after that she could no longer have contact with him, for fear she would actually begin to want that which people like her were never blessed to have: love.
Suzaku stood in the mirror in full Zero garb gazing at himself. It had been two months since Lelouch's death, since he'd assassinated the one person that seemed to understand him better than any other. He looked down at the helmet he held in his hands, the same helmet that he'd been wearing for two months out in public. Suzaku Kururugi had died the day the Lancelot Albion exploded on the Sword of Damocles. Now, the Japanese boy was gone, engulfed in the shadow of Zero the world's avenging angel, the slayer of the demon emperor, the hero of justice. He frowned and continued to examine his face in the mirror trailing over the chestnut locks, the viridian eyes staring back at him, and the tanned skin. Unconsciously he memorized his features which he did every time he left his home (it was bordering on the ritualistic). He didn't know why he did it, he just did… Maybe it was because whenever he saw a reflection (not that he was conceited or anything) instead of emerald green eyes and chestnut hair he saw nothing but Zero's blank faceless mask.
He thought about Lelouch and a pain shot through his core. He remembered clearly what happened after he'd killed Lelouch. After he was finally able to escape unnoticed from the crowd of people dancing amidst the confetti flittering to the ground, he'd ran to the nearest alleyway and vomited until his knees quaked. First he'd killed his father, then members of his own race, and now Lelouch had fallen at his hands. Was that the only reason he existed? To kill those that gained his affection? This was why Lelouch bequeathed him the title of Zero, for it was a punishment in its own way. The Geass that Lelouch had laid upon him made him unable to die no matter how badly he wanted was his sentence, to live the rest of his life for the masses sacrificing his own desires for theirs. It was his own burden to bear for the blood that stained his hands. It was atonement for his sins.
He turned when someone knocked on the door. "Sir Zero, the Empress requests your presence."
"I will be there shortly," he replied, lowering the pitch of his voice so that it was unrecognizable.
"Yes sir. I will inform Her Majesty that you are on your way."
He sighed when he heard the click of the man's shoes as he strode away and gave his reflection one more look. Well Lelouch, you achieved your goal. Nunnally has been crowned empress and the world is on the road to a better future. I hope you're happy wherever you are, he thought, feeling a bit wistful when a vivid image of his raven-haired friend rose into his mind. He really missed Lelouch. Swiping a hand through his chestnut tresses, he put on Zero's helmet, concealing his face behind the featureless mask.
Lelouch sat on the windowsill staring out at the Indian jungle, brow knitted, a hand propping up his chin, legs bent. Ever since he'd awakened almost two months he'd been pondering his current situation. He realized that he'd been given a second chance and that despite himself he felt he should take this opportunity. It broke his heart that he would never be able to contact or talk to Nunnally or the others that had lived in his inner circle, but--.
"Not thinking of killing yourself are you?" C.C. asked, appearing in the room without a warning (or a knock on the door which had been closed by the way).
Lelouch scowled at her, but his voice had a slight playful hint to it when he spoke, "That's right, don't bother to knock it's not like I want to be alone or anything. And of course I'm not thinking about killing myself. My death was essential for the Zero Requiem to become realized, killing myself now would be meaningless."
"So you've made your choice?" She strode forward, leaning against the wall indifferently. Her amber eyes trailed over him briefly and she wondered what the stirring was in her heart.
He was silent for a moment before he answered. "Yes. But I am not staying here. This heat is insufferable, the bed is backbreaking, and the mosquito to human ratio is considerably disproportionate," he complained grumpily. However he decided to omit 'constant indigestion and occasional diarrhea from ingesting flaming hot curry twice a day for almost sixty days' to his list of complaints.
C.C. tilted her head to the side, staring at him blankly, and rubbed her shoulder with a hand. "You will never be able to see Nunnally again…" She peered at him sharply. "Can you deal with that?"
He maintained his gaze out of the window. Nunnally was his entire reason for living, not being able to talk to her, see her smile, or watch those beautiful eyes light up when she was happy gnawed at him, but it had to be this way. "I--."
C.C. decided to interrupt him. "I'm sure she'll be on television a lot now, so you will at least be able to see her. Communication with her otherwise…" Her eyes sparkled mischievously. "I'm sure a resourceful man like you can figure out something." She sat down on the windowsill. "I know some people and I'll make sure you're moved in and your new identity is secure before…" She trailed off when she saw the expression in his eyes.
He controlled the urge to gasp and maintained his composure. "So, you're leaving as well?" He crossed his legs, folded his arms, and scowled at her, covering his feelings of abandonment with cynicism. "I'm not surprised."
She looked down at the tiny hands clasped in her lap and stared ahead.
He didn't want her to leave. He didn't want the last person that connected him to the remains of his old life to go away. "Don't you want to fulfill our contract so your wish can be granted?"
She shook her head firmly, causing her loose olive green hair to sway from side-to-side, and met his gaze with cool indifference. "I have decided to void our contract Lelouch." She rose to her feet, turning her back to him, and decided for the first time that she should at least try to be truthful with her dearest Lelouch. "In all my long life I have never met a man like you. That is why… I must leave." She took a step but stopped when Lelouch, who had risen along with her, grasped her wrist.
"C.C. I don't understand."
She swallowed, schooling her features and voice until they had fallen back into their usual stolidness. "You have walked a broken path your entire life Lelouch, existing as a shattered soul amongst the gray." Her eyes rose to his, wavering when those piercing violet orbs stabbed into them. She turned to him, using her free hand to touch the hand that held her wrist. "This is why I cannot give you my Code. Now that you have a new lease on life I will not damn you to the overwhelming loneliness of immortality."
He couldn't control the shock that obviously rippled over his face. He didn't think that she care enough about him to sacrifice her own desires to protect him. "C.C…" He guided her close, feathering a hand over her olive green locks.
"Are you sure you can live the rest of your life disguised as a person that doesn't really exist?"
"I've lived my entire life in a mask it should not be any different than my old life." He bent his head, staring tenderly at those cherry lips that beckoned him.
C.C. tilted her head back, softly brushing her lips across his chin, violet eyes drawing her in like a moth to the flame. "Lelouch, promise me that you will allow yourself to not just exist but to live."
He gave a soft smile, locking his eyes with hers. "Okay." Even as his lips neared hers he knew that he'd lied. A soul as damaged as his own with the deaths of thousands laying stagnant with his conscience could never truly live, but he could pretend. He closed his eyes and joined his mouth to hers.
A.N.: Yay!!! This is my first Code Geass fic so hopefully everyone is in character. This fic is the product of an idea that has been tickling my muse's fancy for quite some time, and I don't exactly know where this is going, but it's going somewhere. I hope you enjoy and please R&R. Constructive criticism is welcomed but NO FLAMES.
XOXO
*Crowfoot was a Blackfoot warrior and orator.
#A quote by Heywood Brown.
^A quote by Lord Byron.