A/N: Hey, everyone...it's been a while, huh? XD Sorry about the absence. Life and school got in the way, you see. I finally have time to BS on fanfiction. I am kind of in a slump writing wise, and I really want to get back into the swing of things and finish all my fics in progress. I'm out of juice though, so this fic is me, amping up (and kind of playing around) that desire for writing again. I hope you like!
Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.
Summary: What's the hottest topic of discussion at Fairy Tail at the moment? Why, Laxus, of course!
Rated: T, just to be safe.
The Thunder God
It was a beautiful afternoon in the town of Magnolia. The guild members of Fairy Tail hustled and bustled in and out of the guild hall. Some were on their way to complete missions, others were just getting back.
Lucy, with a fist full of the jewels from her recent job of being a pornography historian assistant, slapped the money on the bar in front of Mirajane.
The Take-Over mage looked expectantly at Lucy.
"Gimmie a Bahama Mama," the Celestial mage declared.
Mirajane eyed the young girl for a moment. "Let's see some I.D.," she asked.
"..." Lucy pursed her lips in irritation. "One chocolate milk, please," she ordered. "And make it quick!"
"Hey, Luce!" Natsu, with several hotdogs in his hands, waved Lucy over to him. There, he sat with the core members of Fairy Tail, plus Max.
"Hey!" Max looked hurt.
The author of this fic quickly apologised and corrected her mistake.
There, he sat with the core members of Fairy Tail.
"That's better," Max said.
"What's up, everyone?" Lucy asked the group. With the way they were all huddled together, it was clear as day that they were talking about the hottest topic in Fairy Tail at the moment.
"We're talking about the hottest topic in Fairy Tail at the moment," Loke answered. "So what do you think, Lucy? What do you think Laxus thinks about?"
"Umm..." Before she could even think, Natsu pitched in for her.
"Probably food," Natsu quipped as he took another bite out of his hotdog.
"What?! No way! It's gotta be fightin'," Gajeel declared, shaking his fist in the air. He was always so dramatic. "Why do you think he's so strong?"
"It better not be my Gray-sama!" Juvia cried.
Gray sighed.
"Guys, guys! It's so simple. Every man thinks about it. It's sex," Cana pointed out with a wave of her hand. "Lots and lots of nasty lightning sex."
Mira dived over toward the group at the mention of lightning and sex.
"You guys talking about Laxus?" she asked.
"T'ch." Gajeel rolled his eyes, looking pink in the face. Gray mimicked his reaction. Natsu, of course, looked interested as ever.
"That's awesome," he said.
"Natsu, do you even know what sex is?" Lucy asked him.
"Of course I do." Natsu beamed. "Take this hotdog for example-"
"You don't want to finish that sentence!" Erza warned him with a murderous look on her face.
Mira thought for a moment. "Can you even have sex with lightning?"
Cana had her eyes wide as if it was the most easiest question in the world to answer. "If it's in the form of Laxus Dreyer, why the hell not?"
"Do you think he has a crush on someone?" Lisanna asked.
"How unmanly," Elfman quipped with a puff of his chest. Lisanna snickered at him.
"It better not be Gray-sama!" Juvia cried.
Gray sighed, growing irritated. Lucy gigglesnorted.
"I'm not sure, there was that one time where he wanted Lucy to be his girlfriend, but I think he was just being a huge douche," Mira commented.
Erza pursed her lips, but it just made her look desperate for a kiss. "Has he been seen with anyone?"
"Not my Gray-sama!" Juvia cried. Her love for Gray was almost palpable.
Gray sighed, rolling his eyes.
"Other than Freed and Evergreen, and Evergreen is currently spoken for..." Levy face became beet red.
"Do you think he likes Freed?" Lisanna asked.
"Of course not!" Mira countered, then she frowned. "Although, I have a feeling Freed would be really depressed to hear me say that."
"How unmanly," Elfman quipped.
"He did write a love poem for someone..." Lucy murmured quietly. The group became shocked and all gasped collectively.
"It better not be about my Gray-sama!" Juvia whined. Her devotion to him was admirable.
Gray groaned, face-palming and red in the face. "Can you knock it off?"
Lucy smiled devilishly. "Actually, I think it was about Gray," she said, taking no note of the murderous look Juvia was throwing at her.
Gray sputtered, spitting his apple juice in Wendy and Carla's hair, totally ignoring the resounding 'HEY' from the both of them. "What?!"
The rest gasped once again at the new surprising information.
Lucy thought for a moment. "How did it go...? Oh, yeah! 'For weeks on end, I've been living a lie. There is no escaping your beautiful eyes. Your arms so strong, your hair so dark, I could...uh, Juvia, are you okay?"
Gajeel took one look and read it as a sign and dived out of the way. "SHIT, SHE'S GONNA BLOW!"
"No." Loke remained calm as he shifted his aviator sunglasses along the lower bridge of his nose. He looked expectantly at the blue ball of water that was now Juvia. "She's gonna splash."
A powerful roar built up from her inner rage echoed through the guild hall. With the sheer magnitude of her own jealousy over Laxus' supposed feelings for Gray, Juvia exploded and splashed, her water falling to the floor in a luscious heap.
And she slipped through the floor drains.
Everyone gaped at seat she was sitting just moments before.
Mira looked uneasy. "Master installed several drains into the floor for this very same reason," she said. "Juvia should be okay...she'll just flush out to the river at the east."
Everyone sighed their relief.
"Juvia can be a handful at times." Gray's face remained neutral. Cana eyed him.
"Got some powerful muscles in your face, Gray," she smirked. "'Cause we know for you, she is a handful of boob."
"What?!" Gray sputtered again, his spit hitting in Wendy and Carla right in the face. He ignored the insults Carla threw his way.
"Oh yeah, I remember Juvia saying that you totally groped her when you first met her," Lucy recalled. She bent forward, giving the Ice-Make mage a smirk. "You sneaky pervert."
"It was an accident, OKAY!?" Gray cried, looking panicked. "And we were fighting!"
"Oohhh...Gray likes angry sex." Mira wiggled her eyebrows.
"Why do you think he is always grumpy and naked?" Cana said.
"Screw you, guys!" Gray flipped a table with his outburst, throwing Carla and Wendy into the air. He ignored them as they cried out in surprise. "I'm outta here!"
"Not today, Gray." Lisanna giggled. "I have a headache."
Mira and Lucy laughed as Gray ran away.
"And there goes the man with the naked backside." Cana sighed and took a gulp of her drink.
"Gray just needs to get it over with and just bang her," Max casually commented.
The group gaped at the blond man.
"Oh my god, Max!" Lucy was shocked.
"I can't believe you said that!" Levy cried.
"That is so wrong." Erza was shaking her head in disappointment.
"Even I would think to censor that sentence," Cana added with a disapproving look.
"Hey, we're all thinking it!" Max argued.
"Yeah, but that is just inappropriate," Lisanna said. "Shame, shame!"
"How unmanly." Elfman agreed.
"Weren't we all just talking about lightning sex and the possibility of Freed being gay?" Max was genuinely confused.
"That was before you got all lewd and said that about Juvia." Mira shook her finger at him.
"Let's get out of here, guys." Natsu, the leader, lead the others away from Max. "Let's give this pervert time alone to think about what he just said."
"H-Hey, wait guys! I was just kidding!" Max cried.
Just as they all were walking away from Max, he heard Gajeel say, "The dude's right though, Gray needs to just bang her and get it over with."
He heard the others agree.
Max face-tabled himself. Sometimes, he just didn't understand those people.
Sometime later...
Laxus sighed. After ordering a glass lemonade from a disgruntled Max, he bent his head down in thought.
I really want a cat. An orange tabby kitty.
The more he thought about it, the more he wanted one. He should have a cat. Where is his cat? Why doesn't he have one? The other Dragon Slayers have kitties. Where was his? See, these are the important questions that should be asked.
Yes.
Laxus smiled as if he just admitted his deepest secret.
An orange one...and I'll name him Goldie, and he'll be just as badass as I am.
The End