Never

by xCaligula

She had never been as mad at Eddie as everyone had thought. In fact, Sally would have almost been willing to let it go entirely, had things not played out the way they had. The way she saw it, things had just escalated in a way that caused them to get out of control. She even blamed herself- just a little, mind you- for how out of control they had gotten.

A/N: I'm just gonna lay it on the line now that this is in no way victim blaming. I love Eddie, but he is a little shit and there is no way to justify what happened. No matter how things had been between he and Sally, he shouldn't have done what he did. This story is simply a take on her perspective, and what might have happened to make her think, as she said in that interview, that she had contributed.

She had never been as mad at Eddie as everyone had thought. In fact, Sally would have almost been willing to let it go entirely, had things not played out the way they had.

The way she saw it, things had just escalated in a way that caused them to get out of control. She even blamed herself- just a little, mind you- for how out of control they had gotten.

It had started early, from the first day they had met. She had seen the way he had stared at her at the first Minutemen meeting, the way his jaw had practically dropped when she had walked in the room. This was a reaction that she had grown used to, but she still loved the way men and boys would look at her.

The young man was clearly the latter. They had not yet made their ages known to the others, but she could tell that he was a few years younger than her, in his mid-teens, most likely. Sally could already tell that he would be a lot of fun.

Her predictions were quick to come true. The young man, who revealed his nae to her without care, took whatever chance he could to flirt with her, to try to make her laugh, to try to grab her attention. He tried so hard to act tough and play it cool, trying to seem older than he was, and Sally thought he was positively adorable.

So she humored him a bit and laughed harder at his jokes than she would have normally. She would wink at him when she caught him staring and return his flirtation just to see the tough kid blush.

Attention was attention, and she always appreciated attention, especially the kind that came from males. She hadn't really thought about how Eddie would interpret things, or that he might think there was more going on between them than there actually was.

Perhaps if she and Hooded Justice had made it less obvious that their relationship was all an act. Perhaps if she hadn't gotten so drunk at the Christmas party that she had hung off of Eddie as if they were there together, as if they were a couple. Perhaps if she had done just a few things differently, he would not have thought that they already had something.

But she had liked Eddie quite a bit and that had lead her to take pleasure in toying with him. He was certainly handsome, and she had even entertained the idea of pursuing him when he had grown up a little and she wasn't tied down in a fake relationship. She liked him; she was just not ready to give him the chance he wanted.

And all of this came to a head on the day of their photo session. Looking back, she should not have thrown him that week when she saw him staring after she had said she was going to go change. She should have known that he would see that as an invitation to take the chance she still had not given.

So he took the invitation to take that chance, and Sally, though irritated that he had walked in on her in such a state of undress, had secretly been somewhat flattered. Eddie really had fallen under her spell, hadn't he?

The problem arose when he didn't seem to understand that her resistance was genuine, that she was not playing hard to get. He continued to insist that he was right and that she really did want this, and nothing she said could convince him otherwise. She had scratched at him then, hoping that this would snap some sense into him, but that only served to flare up his temper.

Still, Sally had hoped she could reason with him, and she had held out a finger, saying his name in a low and warning tone. That had been her last mistake, the one that had nearly sealed her fate.

Eddie had tried for so long to convince her that he was an adult, that he was just as grown up as her, and that they would be a good pair, and she had lead him to believe that she agreed and that there was something special between them. Now, she had thrown that back in his face, treating him like the child he was so desperate to prove that he wasn't.

If she had thought that she had ignited his temper before, it was nothing compared to his reaction to that.

Really, the only thing she truly hated about that day was how he had beaten her up. She was durable, but he was built and packed a mean punch. Fighting back was impossible, especially when he was fueled by blind rage.

He would have successfully had his way with her if HJ had not shown up, defending her out of obligation, and she had a moment to catch her breath. She noticed Hollis, hanging in the doorway and watching, appalled yet unmoving. She supposed that he thought exposing what had happened would excuse the fact that he had only stood by and watched.

Sally wished he had not done that. She wished that it had all ended when Eddie had been thrown off of her, that he had simply been punished ad then it had all been over. She wished that the situation has resolved itself privately, because now that everyone knew, she had to be upset. She had to pretend that she had not liked it until he had beaten her up and she had to pretend that she hated him.

Really, it was unfair to put all of that blame on Hollis. Her need to pretend existed before that, existed as long as the rest of the Minutemen knew what had happened. It was true that Hollis had had a hand in them finding out, but Hooded Justice had not kept quiet either, and Sally pretended that she would not forgive Eddie if he only apologized to her.

Was it really so wrong for her to believe he had only made a mistake? Was it wrong for her to accept the fact that young, hotheaded boys often did stupid and terrible things when they lost their tempers? Was she wrong in believing that the severity of his act didn't outweigh those other factors? She didn't know how to answer those questions, and as long as she didn't know, she hid behind the mask of a woman who hated Edward Blake and blamed him entirely.

When he had grown up, and had given her the apology she knew she couldn't resist, when he had reached an age where the difference didn't matter and she had reached an point in life where she was desperate for someone to make her feel beautiful again, she had welcomed him into her bedroom. It was supposed to be an escape from a rotten marriage, a trip down memory lane, a reminder of what she had been and what she could have been.

It turned into much more than that, more than Sally could have ever expected from someone like him. He was different with her- both different than he had been in the past and different than he was with anyone else. He was almost gentle with her and seemed afraid of breaking her. He was repentant. He was no longer a child with a crush, a teenager letting his lust get the better of him.

He was a man, and he was in love with her, after all those years, after all that happened, and he was so damn sorry.

In her bedroom, she forgave him and gave him everything he had tried to take before, and he received it with a gratitude his younger self would not have been capable of producing. It was a private forgiveness, but she liked to hope that someday, the world would be ready for her to let it show, and that, someday, she could be with someone who made her feel beautiful.

When she found out she was pregnant, it all came crashing down on her, and the forced shame came back to her. She had not been with her husband in too long; she knew the baby was Eddie's, and she knew that that would be too much. How could she slowly ease those around her into the idea of her forgiving him when this baby proved that there had been nothing slow about it?

It was better to keep it to herself, keep it behind closed doors. Her husband would find out, and he would be angry, but he would never tell. He wouldn't want to face the shame of everyone knowing what his wife had done either. Eddie would keep quiet out of loyalty, out of a love she would never be ready to return.

She sent him away and ignored his heart break, because she had to. Because he had made a mistake that doomed their relationship, because she was ashamed of what everyone would think, because she knew that no one would understand why she was not as angry with him as they wanted her to be.

Maybe she blamed herself for what he had done, and maybe she wished things could have played out differently for them, but the way things were, she had to lie and she had to pretend that everything was the way it should be. She hated him and had nothing to do with him after the incident. He had been an inhuman monster who had taken things too far.

She had certainly never forgiven him, and there had been no affair. Her daughter being dark haired meant nothing, and he had not apologized to her. He had certainly never been in love with her. She had certainly never considered the possibility of loving him back.

A/N: Most of what I wrote here is part of my full headcanon for their relationship, though I go back and forth on a few things. Either way, here's some junk about my babies.