Interview Episode 3: Maloon, Counting Cows

Note: Wow these are doing well. Hopefully after reading these you will be curious about my other stories. Well again this is just a silly fic meant of humor.

Bunny Girle: OK so this show hasn't gone as I thought it would. . .I mean sure it was a bit ruff but now I am sure our next guest will act a bit more civil. And since our translator is now in perfect working order, I'm sure we can avoid any insults. Now I would like to introduce you to the woman who raised the famed horse Epona, Maloon.

Maloon: (Walks on stage and sits down in one of the chairs.) It is nice to Neigh, be here.

Bunny Girle: (Stares blankly at Maloon with a bewildered look.) Excuse me but did you just . . .neigh like a horse.

Maloon: Who me? No Neigh he he. I have no idea what your talking about. Mooo

Bunny Girle: Are you feeling ok? Uh. . .maybe this thing is busted again. (Hits the translator which beeps loudly.) There that should do it. I must say it's a relief because for a second there I thought you were acting like some. . . .

Maloon: MOOOOO Neihhhehe fff.

Bunny Gilre: Farm animals. . .Right, uh lets get to the first. . .

Maloon: Mooooo, Mooooo Mooooo

Bunny Grile: Question. . . (frowns and rubs her temples.) Many people wonder what is between you and Link, we got some information from him on your relationship but we would like to get some info from you. So tell us the whole world is wanting to know, Are you two an item?

Maloon: That is a very personal. . .Moooooo Neigh. . Question. But if you have to . . . .Mooooo. . .Know we were dating but our relationship, hit sort of a snag.. . . .Neigh when he started acting weird. . . .moooo.

Bunny Girle: Weird? You mean like . .. oh I don't know acting like a cow or a horse weird?

Maloon: (Giggles and shakes her head.) Oh no, that would just be to strange. I'd kick him off the ranch if he started to do that. It's hard to explain but after he signed up for smash brothers he's just been training. You see moooo. . . .mooooo. .. moooooooooooooooo. . .

Bunny Girle: I can see how that might be weird to you. . .but don't you think he might be training to save the world or something. . . .like. . .(Sweatdrops as Maloon starts to walk around on all fours.) Did you lose something?

Maloon: Mooooo. . .no why do you ask. (Stands up and takes her seat as Bunny and the rest of the crew stare on in surprise.)

Bunny Girle: OK wait a second. Why are you acting like that?

Maloon: Like what?

Bunny Girle: A cow and a Horse, why are you acting like that? Are you under some kind of curse?

Maloon: How dare you. . . .Neigh . .I have never been so MOOOOO insulted in all my life. Here I come on your show . . . .moooo. . .surrounded by monsters. . . .(points to the cameras.) And all you can do is insult me.

Bunny Girle: Hey your acting like a farm animal. Ok lets just mooove on. . .AHHHH Now you've got me doing it.

Maloon: (Stares at Bunny.) Did you know you have rabbit ears? Mooo. . .Oh they must be a bunny hood. (Yanks on one of Bunnies gray ears.)

Bunny Girle: Oww! What the hell did you do that for?

Maloon: You mean their moooo real? Ahh monsters are every where and the host is a human bunny!

Bunny Girle: Can we get back to the show! Who ever did this to me again is realy asking for it.

Maloon: Look lets just moooove on.

Bunny Girle: Another question that is on every one's lips is about your father and Inago. It seams they bare a resemblance to two other popular Ninetindo game characters known as Mario and Lugie from the Mario brother games. And you yourself where a broach that looks like Bowzers head. Can you tell me if you and your father are related to the famous plumbing duo?

Maloon: My father and I refuse to mooooo talk about that. We are not related to those plumbers. As a matter of fact. . .neighhhhhhhh he he. .mooo. . .I know that those two plumbers have tried to pass them selves off as my father and Engage in order to find out about Hyrule. If you ask me they are up to no good moo.

Bunny Girle: I have noticed that their is a conflict between the Zelda cast and the Mario bothers cast, can you shed some light on that?

Maloon: Moooo. . .Well All I know is that Link and Mario have been fighting for the mascot position for a long time and when they found out they were going to be in smash Bros. they had no idea that they were going to be up against eachother. . .and then there was the whole scandal with Lugie. . .mooooo. . .you know he was arrested for selling extra life mushrooms to people on the street. moooooo. . .

Bunny Girle: Realy? Well that does explain some things but why is it that the Zelda cast and the Mario cast are seemingly at eachothers thoughts? Surely it can't just be because of the mascot positions?

Maloon: You'd be surprised what goes on over at Nintindow. . . .moooooooooooooooooooo. . . Nehihhhh

Bunny Girle: Look can you please stop that. (Laughter from off stage starts as the camera crew and the producer begin to laugh at Maloon's noises.)

Maloon: I have no Idea what you are talking about! Mooo!

Bunny Girle: Ok, let me get this strait you are telling me that you don't realize that you are mooing and acting like a horse?

Maloon: No I'm not moooo. It's your imagination.

Bunny Girle: My imagination? Maloon you are acting like a farm animal. . .what's next? Are you going to ask for some grass to eat?

Maloon: Ooo that sounds yummy. . .do you have any moo.

Bunny Girle: (Lowers her head and shakes it) Why me? Why me?

Maloon: Well do you have any grass or not?

Bunny Girle: NO! I don't have any grass. . . How about we move on to the phones. . .maybe you'd like to here from your fans.

Maloon: I have fans?

Bunny Girle: Of course didn't you know that? Your the second most popular character, I mean next to Link. Your even considered better than Zelda.

Maloon: (Smiles proudly) MOOOOOOO! I never knew that?

Bunny Girle: But surely you had some idea. . .I mean the game is. . .

Maloon: Game? What game? Do you mean to tell me. . .moo that I was in a game? What the hell? Moo

Bunny Girle: Of course you were. . .That's why we wanted to interview you. . .uh you mean you didn't know?

Maloon: No I didn't. . .moo. . know! I mean how would I. . .Damn it why the hell didn't anyone tell me I was in a game.

Bunny Girle: Actually you were in two games . . .Zelda 64: Ocarina of time and Zelda 64: Majoras mask. . .this is kind of coward.

Maloon:( Looking very angry.) I bet Link knew all about this. . .moooo. . .I am going to sue someone. . .neghieee . . .I didn't see one rupee from all of this. . .and damn it. . .moo. . I went though hell to get Link a job at our ranch.

Bunny Girle: Lets go to the phones. . .Quick get me a phone. .

Assistant 1: (Runs onto the stage and sets down a new phone on the desk.)

Bunny Girle: Caller your on the air.

Voice: You little back staber!

Maloon: . . .Lugie. . .mooo. Is that you. . .Are you a ghost. . .

Lugie: NO I'm not a ghost. What in the hell do you think your doing. . .I do not have a drug problem. . .Like I told the cops. . .the mushrooms were . . .eh er. . .just something that goes on pizza. . .

Maloon: Mooo. . .that is not what I heard. . .And what do you mean by calling me a traitor. . .moo. . .after your the one who went behind my back and dated that prissy little mushroom girl. . .moooo. . .Peach. . .What kind of name is that anyway?

Lugie: Peach is a princess what are you. . .your a mooing farm girl with nothing.

Bunny Girle: I thought someone was going to start screening these calls. . .damn it who the hell was in charge of that!?

Maloon: Nothing? Nothing? Moooo How can you say that? We dated for three years before you started in on your little habit. . .mooo. . after that I wanted nothing to do with you.

Lugie: Hey I dumped you. . .that elf boy Tink or what ever his name is, doesn't know what he is in for with you as a girl friend.

Bunny Girle: I think we better end this before we lose another phone.

Maloon: Oh I finally found where you are hiding and now I will teach you a lesson moo. . (Takes the chair she is sitting on and hurls it at the phone as Bunny scrambles to get out of the way.)

Bunny Girle: HEY! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE!

Maloon: I have destroyed that horrible spirit and now Mooo I will be brave and fight that monster who is holding that man hostage. . .MOOOOO (Stands and lowers her head. Maloon lets out a loud Moo and runs head first at the camera. The camera man jumps out of the way as Maloon plows into the camera and then stands on it.) I moooooo did it.

Bunny Girle: HEY! This is nuts.. . .That is it. . .next time we have got to get some security down here to keep nuts like her from destroying our cameras. . .

Maloon: MOOOOOOO Neighs he he

Bunny Girle: DO YOU EVEN KNOW THE DAMAGE YOU CAUSED?! (Looks at the last camera and sighs.) I give up. . .next time tune in. . . .well if we are still here that is, to see a surprise guest.

Maloon: MOOOOO

Bunny Girle: STOP DOING THAT!