Fashion Files: Totally Spies Edition
It was a sunny Saturday morning in Beverly Hills. Walking down the sidewalk, the Fashion Police consisting of Tyler Breeze and Fandango were roaming the streets looking for fashion felonies.
"Ah Beverly Hills. It sure is beautiful, isn't it Deputy Dango?" Tyler asked, taking note of all the malls sporting some very interesting fashions that he had never seen before.
"Breeze, you said we were in Beverly Hills, and yet I don't see any hills," Fandango said, looking around for a hill.
"Dango, Beverly Hills is just a name," Breeze explained, looking at a woman wearing a polka dot dress. He seriously considered writing her a ticket if it wasn't for the great color pallet.
"I'm still seeing a hill before we leave," Fandango mumbled before springing his head up, hearing an argument. "Breeze, do you hear that?" Fandango asked, prompting Breeze to put a hand to his ear and listen in the direction where Fandango was looking.
"OH YEAH! WELL YOU LOOK LIKE A STRIPPER ON THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT!" a nasally sounding voice screamed.
"AT LEAST I LOOK LIKE SOMETHING SOMEONE WOULD WANT TO FUCK!" another less annoying voice yelled back.
"Dango! This is a fashion emergency!" Breeze exclaimed before taking his water gun out. Fandango did the same, and headed towards the direction of the argument. When they got there, they saw Mandy and Clover yelling at each other, with Sam rolling her eyes and Alex looking around frantically.
"Stop! Fashion Police!" Breeze yelled before he and Fandango presented their badges. When she saw their badges, Alex started shaking and freaking out.
"I told you guys you were being too loud! Now we're all going to get arrested. We'll have to spend time in jail. Then we won't be able to get jobs. And then…" Alex rambled before Sam put her hand over her mouth.
"Alex relax, those guys aren't real cops," Sam said, with Breeze and Fandango taking clear offense to that.
"We so are real cops!" Breeze exclaimed, showing off his badge.
"No you're not," Sam replied with a deadpan expression on her face.
"Yes we are."
"No you aren't."
"Yes we are."
"No you aren't!"
"No we aren't."
"Yes you are!"
"No we aren't."
"YES YOU ARE!" Sam yelled out of frustration, before covering her mouth after realizing what she had just said.
"Thank you. Now, we heard a fashion argument going on. You there! Tell us what's going on," Fandango demanded, pointing at Clover.
"Gladly. This fashion disaster right here called me a stripper, and I was loudly telling her that her outfit looks like something she found in the dumpster," Clover explained, pointing at Mandy, who responded by sticking her tongue out at her.
"Well, I guess this calls for a Fashion inspection, don't you agree, Deputy Dango?" Tyler said as he started inspecting Mandy's outfit.
"Agreed, Breeze," Fandango said before he started inspecting Clover. The both seemed to hum and nod in approval before Fandango looked at Clover's purse. Fandango looked at it for a couple of seconds before taking it off of Clover's shoulders.
"HEY! What the hell are you doing!?" Clover yelled, as Fandango opened the purse. Tyler appeared next to her, and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Not to worry, ma'am. We're trained professionals," Tyler vaguely explained as Fandango went through the purse until he began to pull something out of it.
"Hey sweet! A cupcake," Tyler said excitedly before taking out of Fandango's hand and began to unwrap it.
"Hey! I paid $4.99 for that!" Clover said before Breeze took a bite out of it. A couple of seconds later, he started choking.
"POISONERS! You're trying to use these delicious baked goods to poison people!" Fandango yelled, pointing at Clover and the gang. A few seconds later, Breeze stopped choking and regained his composure.
"Breeze! Are you alright?" Fandango asked.
"Yeah, Dango. I wasn't being poisoned, that cupcake was disgusting! What was in that?" Breeze loudly asked Clover.
"It was a gluten free cupcake I got at the bakery over there," Clover answered, pointing the bakery a few buildings away.
"WE LOVE GLUTEN! WE LOVE GLUTEN!" Breeze yelled as he tried to go after the girls, only to be stopped by Fandango holding him back.
"Breeze, Breeze, Breeze, calm down. We have a fashion emergency here, and we can't waste time on their lack of understanding of how awesome gluten is," Fandango said, pointing at the girls.
"You're right, Dango. It's just that that gluten free stuff reminded me of those uggos, the Ascension," Breeze said, shivering in fear as he remembered the Ascension.
"Hey! We heard that!" a voice said from behind, clearly offended. When Breeze turned around, he saw Konnor was the one who had said that, with his tag partner, Viktor next to him with a pizza box in his hands.
"Yeah, we may have face paint on, but we have feelings!"Viktor said, pointing at Breezango.
"Wait, how did you even get here?" Fandango asked.
"Well, we fell asleep in your car, don't ask, and when you stopped, we were in Beverly Hills. And we were over at that pizza place getting a gluten free pizza," Viktor explained pointing to the pizza place next to the bakery Clover got the cupcake from.
"Ooh, can I have a slice?" Alex asked. Viktor nodded and held the box close to Alex, but Tyler smacked Alex's hand away.
"Pizza is not for suspected Fashion criminals!" Tyler yelled, scaring Alex to hide behind Sam, who was still looking at the scene in front of her with an uninterested expression.
"So…after a long and difficult discussion, we've decided that neither of you two have committed any fashion related felonies," Fandango said. Clover looked relieved, but Mandy, however, was outraged.
"WHAT!? Did you even see that disgusting ensemble she has on!? Are you two even trained fashion experts!? I want to see your papers right…" Mandy yelled before a ticket being stuck to her forehead. She took it off of her forehead, and it read 'Disturbing the peace'. "WHAT!? Why'd I get a ticket!?" Mandy asked, even angrier then she was before.
"I don't mean to be rude madam, but your voice sounds like a combination of nails scratching a chalkboard, and a kitten being strangled," Fandango said, while Breeze was writing another ticket.
"I thought you said you didn't want to be rude," Konnor pointed out.
"Oh believe me Konnor, I was thinking a lot worse to say," Fandango explained before Breeze stuck another ticket onto Mandy.
"And that's for insulting out taste in fashion!" Tyler exclaimed as Mandy grabbed the ticket and walked away fuming while Clover was laughing. Fandango then walked up to Sam and Alex, and started looking at them.
"Alright, that is WAY too close," Sam said, while lightly pushing Fandango to a respectable distance.
"Do you want to be charged with assaulting a fashion officer!?" Fandango yelled in Sam's face. Sam was about to say something, but decided not to risk the headache and just let Fandango look her over.
"Breeze, come and look at this color scheme," Fandango said with a disgusted look on his face. Breeze came over, and after a quick onceover, he concurred with Fandango.
"Good eye, Dango. Look at that combination of a pink undershirt and a green over shirt!" Tyler said, as he grimaced at Sam's poor fashion choices.
"What's wrong with….no. No, no, no. I'm not going to play along with this. I'm going. Alex, come on," Sam said as she grabbed Alex's hand and walked past Tyler Breeze and Fandango. Just then, she felt a burning sensation on her back.
"Freeze!" Tyler shouted, with his water gun aimed right at Sam.
"OW! WHAT THE HELL IS IN THAT THING!?" Sam yelled, still feeling like her back was covered in hot coal.
"Boiling oil," Tyler answered.
"WHAT!?" Sam yelled, wondering how anyone could think that was a good idea.
"As fashion officers, we have to be prepared," Fandango explained before writing her a ticket for 'Horrible Color Palette'.
"Hey guys," Konnor called out, with Alex in his and Viktor's grasp. "We got one more right here".
"Thanks guys," Fandango responded as he did a onceover on Alex.
"Promise us you'll get rid of that horrendous bracelet, and we'll let you off with a warning," Fandango said calmly, knowing how scared Alex had been throughout the whole ordeal. Alex nodded in response, wanting nothing more than to leave.
"Good. You may leave," Tyler said. The second he did, Alex dragged Sam and Clover along, the former shouting obscenities at Breezango.
"Well, Deputy Dango, it looks like our work here is done," Tyler said as he put his water gun back in its holster and walked off.
"Yep," Fandango replied before walking off as well. Before he could get too far, he saw the Ascension staying behind.
"Guys," Fandango called out. "You can come too," Fandango called out again to the Ascension. The Ascension smiled before running to catch up with Breezango.
"Hey, while you guys were at that pizza place, did you see any hills?" Fandango asked.
"Dango, I thought we went over this; Beverly Hills is just a name," Tyler interjected.
"I WANT TO SEE DEM HILLS!" Fandango yelled out. The Ascension and Tyler started laughing as they continued walking off.