Addison just broke my heart last night, the whole situation just made me think of Rachael Yamagata's song Wore Me Down. I decided to mingle Addison's thoughts with Rachael's song.
"Worn Me Down"
What the hell is going on, why do they seem so angry with one an other. What happened to their wanting to be friends, what the hell is going on.
Gone, she's gone
How do you feel about it
That's what I thought
You're real torn up about it
And I wish you the best
But I could do without it
And I will, because you've worn me down
Oh, I will, because you've worn me down
In the elevator, they couldn't even look at one an other. Oh god, it's almost like they are in a lover's quarrel, can they, are they, am I just imagining things? I have to know.
Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
But you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her
I confront her, and she denies they are having an affair, I believe her, then what she hits me with next makes my world crumble around me, she has moved on, she is dating the vet. Oh god, he's jealous of her, he's is so angry because he is jealous.
And you're wrong, you're wrong
I'm not overreacting
Something is off
Why don't we ever believe ourselves
And I, oh, I feel that word for you
And I will, because you've worn me down
Oh, I will because you have worn me down
I try to get him to talk to me, I try only to rebuffed and told not now, but when? He drags me from the patient's room telling me how insensitive I am. I'm insensitive? I confront him, I pour my heart out to him, and what do I get in reach? Nothing, no emotion, he simply walks away.
Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
But you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her
I know it's over, it should have been over 6 months ago, why couldn't be have been honest with me then. Why did he have to put me through this charade? Did he honestly think coming back to me, even though he no longer cared was the right thing to do? Did that really make him the good guy?
She's so pretty; she's so damn right
But I'm so tired of thinking
About her tonight
He loves her. He doesn't love me. There was a time I couldn't ever imagine him not loving me, but for some reason, I have no clue why he pulled away, and simply stopped caring. I tried, I tried to get his attention, I didn't just sit back and let him ignore me. I was constantly in his face trying to get a reaction from him with no avail. Then I did the unthinkable and slept with his best friend, and he simply walked away.
Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
But you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her
I should have realized when he found me with Mark and walked away without a fight, it was over then, but I still remembered what we were before. I remembered how great we were before, how could we not be like that again. When I came to Seattle it was with the full intention of ending things. I had the divorce papers, I knew it was over. But then he gave me hope, he let me believe we had a chance. I told him, I didn't want him, if he didn't want me. It was his choice. I was giving him his freedom, but he had to be the one to sign the papers first. He had to tell me it was over. Then he picked me, he picked me. Can you blame me for thinking we had a chance?
Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told
Worn me down to my knees
I did everything to please
Worn me down like a road
I did everything you told to me to do
But you, you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her
No, you can't stop thinking about her
I now know how wrong I was, my heart is breaking. I still love him, and I know it's going to be hard, but I will move on. I will find my way back, I did it once before, until he gave me hope. Never again will I allow him to hurt me like that again.
Well, time to go rewatch last night's episode again, because Kate was just so amazingly awesome last night.
By the way, if you have never listened to Rachael Yamagata, you should give her a listen she's an amazing artist, I was lucky enough to discover her two years ago when I took a friend to a liz phair concert, Rachael was the opening act for Liz and we had no intention of listening to her set, but as we sat in back of the club chatting over our drink we heard this amazing voice and were compelled to move close and listen. Her music is amazing, and she is just adorable in concert, she did a short set and all her song were about how her boyfriends would all leave her for their previous girl friends, and if you had just lost a boyfriend, they should date her, because then you get him back. I feel in love with her music then and there, and her cds have been in my car cd changer ever since.