-gasp- Something that's not "Hello, Nathan"! Still about Near, though. (Anyone want to guess who my favorite character is?)
I own nothing (of value).
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He'd spent years building the wall. Countless hours went into its construction, meticulous stroke by meticulous stroke. Every piece in that wall had its place, somewhere where nothing else could fit but the piece that occupied that space. He worked on it every day of his life, fleshing it out, perfecting it. Every time he stacked dice, every time he built matchstick villages, every puzzle piece he placed was another piece of his wall going up. It was solid, impermeable, high and thick. It was not, unfortunately, unbreakable.
When L died, a fissure began in his wall. It was long and deep, and it cut so far into the wall that it nearly let light through to the other side. It ran from the top to very near the bottom, and try as he might, he could not find an acceptable mortar to patch it. He blocked it, reinforced the areas around it, but the fracture itself remained, ugly and gaping, mocking his years of hard work at keeping the world at bay. Or perhaps, keeping himself at bay. He'd never decided which.
When he'd heard of Matt's death, the fissure that was L's death expanded, widened, deepened and spiderwebbed across the entirety of the structure, leaving minute cracks throughout his wall. Sections crumbled in entirely, leaving parts of him exposed, shaking, frightened and blinded by the light of the world. He'd begun reconstructing, even though he knew what was coming next. He'd made a fair amount of progress before he got the last piece of news.
The knowledge of Mello's death sent cracks along his wall from the bottom up, ripping through his foundation, leaving his breaking wall with nothing to base itself on. It fell inward, all around him, and he watched it go, knowing that whatever was waiting for him in the rubble and dust would not be enough to keep him alive. The news of Mello's death was the last straw, and it was what had finally begun to kill him.
The members of the SPK were waiting for him after he had cleared the debris away. They did not seem to comprehend that anything had changed. They went about their business, and he let them. He was close enough to catching Kira that it didn't matter if he left the SPK alone. It didn't matter if he disappeared off the face of the planet. Yagami Raito was going to jail, and soon thereafter, Hell. Or Mu, if the Note was telling the truth.
He brought Yagami Raito's head to Mello's grave, because it was what Mello was after in the first place. He laid copies of all of his documented evidence at L's grave, because he hoped that it would put L at peace to know not just that Raito was dead, but why and how. At the foot of Matt's grave, he placed a replica of the Note itself, because the Note had been Kira's game, and Matt would need something to play with in Heaven.
And then he faded back, working in obscurity, ridding the world of crime and injustice through his own brand of righteousness. He was a hollow, pale shadow of the person he once was, left with nothing and no one he trusted enough to die beside. He spent the rest of his life rebuilding his wall and waiting, waiting for the day when he himself could be at peace.