A/N: This is a special fic in honor of Vincent Valentine's birthday, October 13th. It really has no meaning whatsoever, but I thought that it would be fun to write. It's a drabble too- there will be no more chapters, so don't ask. I'm looking at you, crazy people who ask for 'more' when the story says 'complete'. Sheesh.

So I wrote it.

(Inspired by that scene in DoC when Vincent gets a strange phone call from Tifa, Cloud, and Barret.)

The Other Valentine's Day
It was that time of year again: The leaves were turning brown, the air was getting cold, and people were leaving annoying voicemails for Vincent Valentine.

He wondered when they'd found out when his birthday was, and who had told them. He suspected that it had been Yuffie, or maybe Tifa, who told him regularly that he should get out more. It was almost funny, actually, since she wouldn't tell anyone when her birthday was.

Secretly, Vincent was impressed and a little bit embarrassed by all of the effort they put into trying to get him to come to his own party. An invitation had come in the mail a few days ago, in the guise of a letter from Cid, who had 'gotten a new airship' and 'wanted to show it off.' The ruse had been as transparent as a newly washed window.

He didn't know why they bothered, since they probably knew that the chances of him falling for the old 'surprise party' trick were about as likely as the chances of Cloud getting up on a table and dancing a jig while singing about chocobos and wearing a lampshade on his head.

And so, his persistent friends had simply resorted to leaving him voicemails after a year or two of failures.

To tell the truth he really didn't mind all of the calls, even though he'd rather sing opera than admit it to anyone else. It was slightly comforting to think that even though he was, in the words of Yuffie, an 'anti-social vampire-wannabe who never spends time with anybody 'cept the spiders that live in his coffin', the people he considered his friends still took the time to call.

Yes, it was definitely that time of year again. Flipping open his phone, he saw that the message count had gone up to seven. Well, he might as well get started.

"Vincent! Whaddup, foo? Are you alive? Don't seem like it, 'cause you ain't answered your 'phone since you bought the goddamn thing. Well, happy birthday anyway, you crazy mutha!"

Vincent couldn't help but smile-just a little-at Barret's message. It wasn't totally true; he'd answered his phone a few times, when he knew it was something important. Actually, he forgot it at home most of the time, and when he did remember it, he usually forgot to turn it on.

The next message began to play, this one even more ridiculous than the last.

"Valentine, it ain't right to be anti-social on yer own birthday. Get yer vampire ass down here, or I'll come an' get you myself!" Vincent could hear Tifa saying something in the background of Cid's message. It sounded like she was admonishing him about 'swearing in front of the kids again.' Cid was in the middle of delivering a sharp reply when he realized that he was still on the phone. "Anyway, happy birthday, and all that. Shera said to tell you that she made a cake."

A cake? Vincent shook his head as he moved on to the next message. He thought that they'd have learned their lesson after the last four years, when everyone else, mostly the kids, ended up eating whatever immense sugary creation Shera had come up with.

The third message was from a number he didn't recognize, and he pressed play with a mixture of trepidation and curiosity.

"Vincent-sorry I missed you. I heard it was your birthday, so I called to see how you were doing. Well, best wishes. I'll call again later."

Ah. It was Reeve. At least one of the messages was normal. Trust Reeve to be the voice of reason…without ruining the fun. Vincent knew that he wouldn't call back, though. The WRO leader was infamous for leaving messages, but never returning them or following up on the ones he left.

The next message was apparently from Cloud. This time, Vincent really couldn't help but smile at the thought of what Strife had to say. Cid had once remarked that Cloud and Vincent 'talking' on the phone would be one of the most depressing –and quietest- conversations in the world. Or, maybe it had been Yuffie who'd said that. He couldn't remember.

"…I think they're plotting something down here, but I'm not supposed to say anything, so you didn't hear this from me." Yes, this was definitely from Cloud: Straight to the point, without any preamble. "Just thought I'd warn you. Happy Birthday, Vincent."

"Tell me something I didn't know." The ex-turk muttered. Of course they were plotting something. They plotted something every year, so what made this year any different? Leave it to Cloud to say everything without actually saying anything at all.

Oddly enough, the next message seemed to be from Cloud to. And the next one. And the next one as well. That was more than slightly strange. What could Strife had to say that was so important?

"Are we starting? Who's this for again? Let's go…" the voices were faint, high pitched, and most definitely not belonging to Cloud. And there were quite a few of them. "Come on, it's starting…" There was silence for a few seconds, broken only by the sound of shuffling feet. Vincent was completely confused, something that didn't happen too often.

However, his confusion didn't last long. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY VINCENT VALENTINE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUU!!" He had to hold the phone away from his ear as a chorus of voices began singing at the top of their lungs in the incredibly off-key way that little kids have. There was an outburst of giggles as the song ended, and a familiar voice spoke so quickly and without any pauses that Vincent barely caught the words. "Hi Vincent it's Marlene Yuffie told us to do this but not to tell you she told us to do it Happy birthday Vincent!"

It sounded like they'd rounded up every kid they could find, stuck them in a room with a telephone, and somehow got them all to sing at the top of their lungs. It was something that Yuffie could have pulled off easily; she was good with kids, probably since she carried around an endless supply of candy, but also because she'd always encourage or help out with their mischief.

But she was even more encouraging when the mischief involved Vincent. She was continually telling him to lighten up, especially after that incident with the trick-or-treaters dressed as DeepGround soldiers last Halloween, and she planned to do everything in her power to get him to laugh at least once before New Year's.

Three months to go, and she still hadn't succeeded… but not for lack of trying.

Vincent scrolled down to the next message, also from Cloud. Or, at least, from Cloud's number.

"Vinny-poo! It's me, Yuffie, the one and only super ninja extraordinaire! Anyway, I've decided that this year, I'm not going to bother you. Nope, if you wanna spend your birthday locked up in that smelly 'ol coffin, then you can go right ahead. See if I care…well, I do, actually, since Shera made this really awesome cake, and I really don't want to eat the whole thing again… but anyway, I suppose what I'm really calling to say is I'M NOT GONNA SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY 'TILL YOU GET YOUR GRUMPY VAMPIRE SELF DOWN HERE!!…Bye."

Of course Yuffie would leave the longest message. It wasn't that she had the most to say, it was just that she took the longest time to say it. If Vincent had 1 gil for every call Yuffie had made to his phone since he'd gotten it, he'd be rich enough to buy the phone company, the phone satellite, and finally disconnect the phone in the bar that Yuffie used to make her calls when she was in town.

But then again, he really didn't want to. Sadly enough, these messages were probably the most interesting thing that happened anymore, now that they'd saved the world again. Well, it was fun to scare off the door-to-door solicitors who stopped by every so often, but that didn't happen on a regular enough basis anymore to provide reliable entertainment.

"Vincent, it's Tifa. Sorry to bother you on your birthday, but this is urgent. Please call me back as soon as you get this message. Talk to you soon; bye."

Well, that was… different. Vincent wondered whether or not this was the 'plot' Cloud had warned him about.In spite of himself, he was starting to get curious. He hit redial, and waited as the phone rang.

Suspiciously, it picked up after barely one ring, which meant that someone had been sitting by the phone, waiting for a call.

"Hello? Vincent?" It was Tifa, and she'd definitely been expecting him.

"Tifa. I got your message." And I know that you're plotting something. He added silently. And I'm going to find out what.

There was a pause on the other end. "Oh. Right." Tifa laughed nervously. "I wasn't sure if you were going to call back. Listen, are you at home?" Definitely suspicious, Vincent decided.

"Yes…" He decided to play along- just so he could find out what they were planning, of course. It wasn't like he was actually planning on participating, or anything.

Keep on telling yourself that, Valentine, he thought as Tifa started talking again. "I just wanted you to know that we're not going to plot to throw you a surprise party this year." She said earnestly. "If you're wondering whether we'll try to lure you down to the bar, then don't, because we're not. I understand that you just want to be left alone, and that's perfectly acceptable." Surprisingly, she sounded completely truthful.

As a Turk, he'd learned how to tell if someone was being truthful by watching for telltale giveaways in their face and voice. It was harder to do over the phone, but as far as he could tell Tifa was entirely serious about what she said.

"Really?" For a moment, he was caught off guard and sounded surprised. And also slightly disappointed. It would be strange without one of Yuffie's mad schemes to try and avoid… but also peaceful, which was infinity better than scheme-avoiding any day.

"Really really. Happy Birthday, Vincent." Tifa hung up.

Vincent stared at the phone for several minutes before closing it and laying it on the table. After something like that, there was really nothing that could be said.

"Yuffie. Are you sure this is his house?"

"Of course I'm sure, chocobo brain."

"…"

"Hey, don't give me that look! I'm not a stalker!"

"Shh! Be quiet, or he'll hear us. Denzel, Marlene, stop poking eachother or I'll have Nanaki take you home. Cid, do you have the-"

"Right here, Tifa. Now relax, 'for you have a heart attack or somethin. Hey, Red- what's wrong?"

"Where's Barret?"

"…Do you mean to tell me that you lost track of the largest person in the group? How did you manage that?"

"Shhh!! Do you want him to hear us, or something? Jeeze, Reeve!"

"Yuffie! You're making more noise than all of us put together. Now. On the count of three, we'll ring the doorbell. When he answers, we will not yell surprise. Got it?"

"All right then, genius boy. What are we supposed to yell?"

"How 'bout 'Happy Birthday'?"

"Barret! Where were you?"

"Sorry, I took a wrong turn. "

"Ok, ready? I'm ringing the doorbell."

"…shhh…"

"Yuffie, you're stepping on my foot."

"That's Tifa, you dummy. I'm way back here, with the kids. Sheesh."

"Shhh…. Someone's coming…"

From upstairs, Vincent heard the doorbell and debated going to answer it. With a sigh of resignation, he decided that he might as well.

He heard muffled voices outside the door, and stopped. He considered pulling out Cerberus, and then thought better of it. He didn't need to give Yuffie another excuse to tease him about attacking trick-or-treaters, or mailmen, or pizza delivery people.

Vincent opened the door a crack-

-And was nearly blown backwards by the shout from the people gathered on his front steps.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They shrieked as he looked out in amazement. They were all there- Barret, Cloud and Tifa, Marlene and Denzel, who were having what appeared to be a poking war, Yuffie and Reeve, Cid and Shera with a cake, and even Nanaki.

"Wh…what's going on?"

"We decided that if you wouldn't come to the party, we'd bring the party to you." Yuffie explained, holding up a box wrapped in shiny paper. "And we brought presents. And cake. So are you going to leave us all standing out here, or can we come in?"

Naturally, he opened the door even wider.

Remember to wear red and black today and blast 'Redemption' at high volume until you blow the speakers out! That's what I'm doing! I even died my hair black and put on a cape. My dad thought I went Goth. ;)

Happy Birthday, Vincent Valentine!

From your devoted fangirl,

-Sam