A/n: Mrs. Wayne: Ahh, here we are again. Another fun wit filled observation that we managed to scrape together and form this delightful list. This particular list pertains to random things we thought when viewing the first Batman movie. It more closely examines the strange things our husbands do/ are involved with. Don't judge honeybunches.

Mrs. Crane: Here are some rules that are known around my and Mrs. Wayne's household. We commented as we see fit. Hope you enjoy them.

We don't own anything. Don't sue. Thanks honeybunches.

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1) Bruce and operas, don't mix well. At all.

2) Jonathan doesn't like crows. Mrs. Crane: Which is a bad thing because I like crows, ahem; it's a childhood issue of his. He doesn't like to talk about it. It tends to tarnish the "master of fear" image.

3) Don't leave an opera through the side door that leads to Crime Alley. Well, that was a really smart move there. "Hey! Let's walk out into the night where we could get robbed, mugged, and/or shot!" oh wait…they did. OPPS!

4) When a child loses his parents, the first thing that he wants to hear is that his father's empire will be taken care of until he is ready to assume his rightful position…NOT! Actually that is so the first thing I want to hear. I also like to hear that my dog has been shot and I've just been diagnosed with a terrible bout of Hepatitis C.

5) ALWAYS fight with katanas on a frozen lake. The ice adds a general badass effect. Also, fight with foreign people whilst on the ice.

6) It is always your father's fault. Even if it wasn't. It is. That is a brilliant thing to tell a mourning soul. "It's yo dead daddy's fault! Bitch!" I can see that going over quite well.

7) Qui-Gon-Gin is quite abrasive when given a haircut and a rather sharp Japanese fighting weapon. He is also a fuck-face.

8) Alfred gives a damn.

9) Wayne Manor is to never be insulted. Terrible things will happen when it is.

10) Bruce likes to hide his revolvers under the plaid shirts. Plaid? Seriously Bruce, King of the Trust Fund Babies and you hide the gun under an old plaid shirt? Where do you hid the baseball bat? Under the corduroy slacks?

11) Joe Chill + crazy blonde lady + gun = death. Thank God for the blonde.

12) Rachel had some good advice. Then she just went insane and said no to Bruce Wayne, which is good because he's mine, but STILL the hoe bag just doesn't know anything. Slut.

13) You DO NOT slap Bruce Wayne. You just don't. bad things happen when you do. Such as the man disappearing for SEVEN years, AFTER he faces the head of the Falcone crime family.

14) Can read his, can't read his, no you can't read Bruce's poker face. Or Alfred's. But again. BRITISH! Mrs. Crane: he totally cheats at Life. And Monopoly. He always wins, and I don't know how!

15) Bruce NEVER wears pink, EVER. Nor should he. What can I say, the man looks good in black. Can't stop the man in black, MAN IN BLA-ACK! Note: the Men in Black song reference.

16) Rachel is a bitch. Mrs. Wayne: I agree, but why this time? Mrs. Crane:….She hates my husband. Mrs. Wayne: So does my husband… Mrs. Crane: Yeah but that's different! Mrs. Wayne: hmm, you have a very good point there.

17) Bruce does the light bulb understanding look well. As does he other things…if you know what I mean *winks*

18) You can't see your breath in caves, it's 50 degrees year round. Accept for in Gotham.

19) You always need to have spares…of everything.

20) Ignorance is bliss, never burden yourself with the secrets of scary people. Mrs. Crane: My husband is scarier than Falcone. And he's adorable. Mrs. Wayne: I'm sure there are more than a few people that would be more than happy to testify against that. Mrs. Crane: Name THREE. Yeah, that's right, nobody wants a bad word against my hubby. BECAUSE HE'S ADORABLE. Dr. Crane: I told you WOMAN! I'm SCARY! THE MASTER OF FUCKIN' FEAR! Mrs. Crane: Shut. Up. Dr. Crane: Yes ma'am. Mrs. Wayne: hahaha, whipped. Mrs. Crane: Your husband took you shopping and carried your bags and your purse. Mrs. Wayne: That doesn't mean he's whipped! He's mother fucking Batman! Chivalry isn't dead you know! Mrs. Crane: So he's chauvinistic AND whipped. Mrs. Wayne: No, he's a gentleman and is certainly not whipped. HE'S SEXY! Mrs. Crane: *cough* whipped *cough* Mrs. Wayne: And what do you call YOUR psycho love? Mrs. Crane: My bitch. Mrs. Wayne:…well, okay then.

21) The cops are so jealous of Batman.

22) Mrs. Crane: My husband set your husband on FIRE! PON! Mrs. Wayne: two things. A) yes, but my husband beats yours in the end. And B) pon? Mrs. Crane: Yeah pon! You know…win? Mrs. Wayne: You mean pwn? And what does that have to do with anything?

23) Alfred is funny. The Joker is punny.

24) The All-Mighty Black Man knows everything. And he liked people to know how difficult it is to do things. Yet, he never gets the memo.

25) Dr. Crane and Scarecrow are separate identities. Crane is rational, most days. Scarecrow is Jonathan's brain completely cracked out without the filter of reality/common sense.

26) Batman doesn't pay any mind to the consequences of blowing up police and civilian cars….or the Gotham's infrastructure…..I'm sure that Bruce Wayne is mildly concerned.

27) Alfred never endorses thrill seeking. Especially not when it involves Bruce, the Tumbler, and a lack of respect for the laws of the road.

28) Microwave-Emitters. An idiots way of handing over a very dangerous toy to cracked out ninjas, a.k.a. the League of Shadows.

29) Never challenge Bruce. Ever. It gets messy.

30) Sickafanatic….a word? Not sure. Ask Bruce.

31) Gordon is awesome. Proof? The only other person to drive the Tumbler besides Bruce. But Alfred probably could. This is how the conversation would go:

Alfred: Master Wayne….could I perhaps…borrow the tumbler?

Bruce: Um, sure. But-

Alfred: Don't back sass me boy!

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Mrs. Crane: I hope you enjoyed these!

Mrs. Wayne: That was funny right? Damn straight it was funny. Well, i thought it was, and if you don't well...fuck. bahahaha. Thanks for reading.

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