Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT (DAMN IT)
I remember the first time I saw her it was in London, Fall 2007.
I had forgotten my umbrella as I ran for my rental car, ending up soaking wet in the few minutes it took me to get inside, shutting the door I hit the heater and sat back waiting for the car to warm up. Stupid weathermen. No matter what country, or what language, they never got it right. Suddenly, the rental car made a strange sound and suddenly died.. Not today. I had a business appointment with the manager of a up and coming rock band. Pretentious, little pricks who thought eyeliner made them tough, when I knew for a fact every single one of them were upper class white kids from average white bread families. But they had a sound that hooked you and I knew that the were going to be the next big thing. Maybe I should suggest they change their name to :"Pretentious Little Pricks" Damn it, I didn't want to be late. My recording label was just getting off the ground and I needed to continue my winning streak. I wanted to be the biggest thing since Sony. The Tube sign in my rear view mirror caught my eye and I thought "What the hell". Grabbing my baseball hat off the back seat my hoodie and my aviators. I donned my "disguise" the chance of me being recognized here was so slight but there was nothing worse than being stuck listening to some "I can make it if you just listen to my music " pitch from a guy who couldn't carry a tune in a bucket..
I fed the coins into the slot and took my ticket and headed to the gate and slid it into the machine. I looked up when the little bar slid back and saw "HER" She was already on the platform, swinging a bag in one hand and holding a Starbucks cup in the other. Her energy was what drew my eyes first.
She was talking animatedly to some body builder guy in a Seahawks jacket. Her face was excited and flushed, her hands moving in some crazy dance of communication. I smiled when in a wild gesture, she sloshed her tea and stepped back, never pausing in her communication as the liquid hit the ground at her feet. She just aimed and tossed the cup in a nearby garbage bin.
I gravitated towards the couple, passing as inconspicuously as I could next to them and situated myself on a bench nearby so that I could overhear what they were talking about. My conscience pricked by my almost overwhelming need to eavesdrop on their conversation. I slid my aviators out of my pocket and slipped them over my eyes, hoping that by doing so and turning my head in a certain direction I could continue to watch the beautiful girl's facial expressions.
She was a heart stopper. A true natural beauty with big brown eyes that would open wide and then go to half slits to emphasize what she was saying. Her brown hair was loose and had a natural wave to it, that some of the women I knew spent hours in the salon trying to achieve. Her skin was of the peaches and cream variety and I rubbed my fingers on my pants leg as my fingertips were tingling with the need to touch it to see if it was as soft as it looked. She had on a Burberry mini-skirt and gray cable knit sweater. I noticed that on one of her long legs the tights she wore had the start of a small run beginning to weave its way out of her clunky black shoes.
I was distracted from listening to what she was actually saying. I focused myself and heard her accent. She was clearly. American. Hmm..She was going on and on about a flea market she had been to on a previous trip and some earrings that a friend had purchased there that she would love to find. As she described the street vendors and the booths, I almost felt as if I were there walking along, with the scents and sounds all around me. I smiled to myself thinking that I would have to arrange my schedule while here and go there.
The body builder guy she was talking to reached out and touched her arm and I was surprised at the sudden stab of jealousy that I had. I heard him say that he had other plans this trip and how he just knew she would enjoy the Tower of London with is gory past. It was like a light switch had been flipped. She smiled and nodded her head in acknowledgement but the light had left her eyes. The once grand gestures of her arms had ending in her arms crossing across her chest, communicating that she had closed herself off. I wondered if the big oaf realized just how deeply disappointed she was.
What was this mysterious magnetic pull I had to this stranger? I wanted to walk over and take her in my arms and soothe her and promise her flea markets and earrings and anything her heart desired.
She must have felt it too because at that moment she turned her head and looked right at me. I had long since forgotten that I was supposed to be pretending not to be listening and was staring at her. I removed the sunglasses, as I felt as if they were another barrier standing between the girl and myself.
I felt my breathing stop, as a charge hit me full in the chest. My heart sped up and I somehow knew it had hit her too, and she was as much in shock as I was. Time stopped all around us. Pictures flashed through my head quickly in fast forward, her smiling up at me from a pillow, tears in her eyes as I lifted her veil, this beautiful creature leaning over a bassinet that held our child, her lips whispering I love you as she covered my legs with a blanket her hair long turned gray. My life—our lives flashed through my mind in an instant.
Suddenly, the connection was lost as Mr. Seahawks stepped between us and was snapping his fingers in her face to get her attention. I heard him call out "Bella? Isabella? HELLO?"
Her name was Bella, how appropriate for she truly was beautiful.
A flush rose up in her checks as she turned to him. I saw her straighten her shoulders and shake her head as if coming out of a fog. She pulled her lower lip in between her teeth for a moment and then she smiled. I didn't get to hear what she said as at that moment as a train pulled into the station and I realized they were not going to board.I looked up and saw the blinking sign that announced where the train was headed.. DAMN, I was tempted to stay where I was, just to be near her but it was my train and I could not afford to miss my meeting. I pulled my hood up over my cap, slid my glasses back on and crossed over to wait for the doors to slide open. I heard Mr. Seahawk's whisper "Who does he think he is the Unabomber?" I smiled as I stepped on the train and took my seat near the window. I thought .to myself. "Buddy..I would love to blow up your world. " I looked out the window as the train started to move, "Bella" as I thought of her now, standing a step behind the big guy slowly dipped her head as if in acknowledgement
of what had passed between us, her face sad in a look of farewell.
Wait, I thought. What am I dong? I stood up and headed for the doors to get off but it was too late. I looked back as the girl slid farther and farther away. My heart squeezed in my chest and I almost felt like weeping…she was a stranger…what was happening to me?
I walked back over to my seat and slumped down into it. The whole time wondering what the hell just happened to me?
I pulled my cell phone from my pocket in a daze and mentally calculated how many hours it was from London to Seattle and dialed Jasper's number. I knew he would still be up.
"Hey Buddy" I said.
"Don't tell me they stood you up, the pricks" he said. I smiled to myself thinking, yeah I would have to suggest that name.
"No, that's not it.." I hesitated wondering how I would explain it to him with out sounding as crazy as I felt.
"Jasper, I think I just saw the woman I am going to marry" I waited during the silence at the other end..wondering what was spinning through his head.
I then heard the laughter start. "Your putting me on right? You Edward FUCK 'EM AND LEAVE EM Cullen..That's funny"
I cringed. "Jasper, I am serious here, I am telling you, she was fucking incredible"
It was silent on the other end again..then I heard a deep breath and he said "You are serious...WOW... Ok tell me all about her, where did you meet her, where is she from, talk to me like a chick and don't leave out the details..."
I sighed "That's just it..I don't know anything about her..just that her name is Bella and she is an American, the guy she was with was wearing a Seahawks Jacket, so I can only pray in the Northwest......I can't believe I got on the FUCKING TRAIN.."
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It was in the fall of 2007 that I first saw "Him"
My best friend Jake and I were visiting our friend Alice, who was interning for a law firm that specialized in international trade relations. Alice had been here for 6 months and Jake seeing me starting to miss her more and more had surprised me with tickets to London for my birthday.
Jake was like that, so thoughtful. We had grown up together, hanging together every summer that I visited my dad Charlie in Washington. When I went to live with Charlie in high-school, I met Alice and Rosalie who rounded out our quartet. Rosalie couldn't make it this trip as she had appointments that she couldn't cancel. Rosalie worked for an exclusive auction company that specialized in luxury automobiles. I had watched Rosalie sell a fleet of expensive cars to a Sheik, after leaning on a few of the vehicles and then sitting in the car rubbing the steering wheel with a big smile on her face and a few flips of her blond hair. We celebrated in spades that night and ended up with MASSIVE hangovers the next day.
Jake and I knew that Charlie and his dad Billy had always hoped and dreamed of us growing up, getting married and supplying them with 2.5 grandchildren. We always laughed about that, although there was that one time in our sophomore year when we decided that maybe we were missing what everyone else was seeing. That one date where we stopped at make out point, ended up with us laughing so hard that we knew he was my brother in every sense of the word. Not that Jake couldn't kiss a girl and curl her toes. It just felt wrong. To me Jake was like old flannel pajamas and bunny slippers on a cold winter's night, comfortable and safe, it would never be a black silky negligee on a sultry summer night kind of relationship.
So there we were on the platform of the Tube station, and Jake and I were talking about where we were going while we were here. I had wanted to go to this fantastic flea market that I had been to once before with my friend Aurore. We had separated and she had found the most incredible earrings that were silver with lapis lazuli insets that caressed your ear. I wanted to go back and find the stall she had purchased them at but we didn't have time. I was hoping to see if I could find them on this trip. I was trying to convince Jake to go with me but he wasn't having any of it. He wanted to go to all the "guy" places. Anything with blood and gore, Jake was all for it. I was disappointed, as I knew I could go with Alice but I knew that Jake would love it once he got there.
Out of the blue, I felt someone staring at me. I turned my head and saw "HIM." He was wearing a baseball hat and sunglasses. He took his glasses off and I felt a punch in my stomach. He was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen, with the most stunning eyes that were full of green fire, and damn it I couldn't look away.
All at once, I could see this man on one knee holding up a small black velvet box. I saw him standing at the front of a church in a tux with a look of love all over his face as I approached. I saw him making airplane noises as he ran after a beautiful little girl with long brown curls and his matching green eyes, their arms outstretched as if they were wings, both of them collapsing into giggles. I saw our hands clasped as we walked in a park both of us moving slow in our old age.
Suddenly, it all disappeared as Jake stepped between us breaking our eye contact, snapping his fingers in my face. "Bella, Isabella, HELLO!" I shook my head and straightened my shoulders and thought to myself, what the hell was that? I still felt the electricity zinging through me. I turned to Jake and smiled, pretending nothing had happened. The whole time, the awareness of where the stranger was never left me.
Slightly embarrassed I mumbled "Sorry, Jake I didn't hear what you said."
I was vaguely aware of a train pulling into the station and the stranger moving out of the corner of my eye. My heart started to race, and a sudden sense of panic hit me. My brain was thinking, "DO NOT MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF, IT WAS ALL IN YOUR HEAD" but my heart was saying "DO NOT LET HIM GET ON THAT TRAIN." I was always if anything sensible, and so my feet stayed rooted where they were. I heard Jake whisper something but to be honest I was so focused on keeping my hands at my sides as all I wanted to do was grab the hood of the stranger's sweat shirt and pull him back, begging him to stay.
The stranger took a seat by a window and turned his head in my direction. I couldn't help it; I nodded to him, hoping he had felt the same thing I did. He must have because he shook his head, then jumped up headed to the sliding doors, but by then the train was in motion and I felt my heart clench as I saw the look of pain that was on his face. I knew then that whatever had just happened between us was not in my head. I also knew that there was nothing I could do now. I bowed my head and felt my eyes start to tear up.
"Wow, Bella. I didn't realize that you wanted to go to the flea market that bad." Jake said as he lifted my chin with his finger.
"Its allergies" I insisted.
He smiled at me and said "OK.." and I smiled back all the while my insides felt crushed.
We spent the next few minutes with him joking about Alice's attempts at matchmaking for him and some girl named Perdita..I mean who names a girl Perdita??
When another train pulled up, he started forward and I said, "Hey this isn't our train."
"I know" he said and quickly grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the train. "It is the one that goes to that fantastic flea market you were telling me about though" He got a big grin on his face and hugged me. "I can see blood and guts anytime; now let's go find those earrings"
This is why I loved Jake so much. We spent the whole day at the flea market, prowling through stall and stall. We ate curry from one vendor and gelato from another. I found my earrings and Jake found a medieval sword and shield, which he insisted he was going to hang over the fire place in his apartment.
On the train back, he admitted that the flea market had been incredible and he couldn't wait to tell Alice about the guy selling head massagers that looked like a spider made of wire. He was walking along randomly plopping it on one random person in the crowd. One lady screamed as he approached her and yelled "NO THANK YOU, I AM MARRIED TO A LOUSE I DON"T NEED ANY ON MY HEAD THANK YOU" The look on that guy's face was had us laughing so hard our sides hurt not to mention how red faced the husband in question got.
By the time we got back to Alice's garden flat I had almost convinced myself that the whole thing was all in my head, but my dreams that night were haunted with fiery green eyes and his beautiful smile, and I would bolt up my arm outstretched, reaching out to pull on his jacket. I would lay back down wondering if I had truly lost my mind.