Across The Line
Saga of the Tanya the Evil
Last days of war and revelations. Tempers flare and Tanya had had it with certain Lieutenant Colonel. And the Colonel in question feels the same. So let the explosions begin!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, though I do hope I've done them justice. Inspiration was Linkin Park's Across The Line. Don't ask me why, it just was.
Shout Out: Switched gears because while Tanya's misunderstandings galore with Lehrgen are stuff of legends and a constant source of amusement, I also felt those two deserve to clean out the air between them. And because there's way too few fics about those two. I also had to take a breather from certain kitty brat and his menagerie.
Warnings: AU-verse, ambiguous ending, tempers flaring and oh my god, Degurenchaff Can't Be This Cute. Or something. Tanya is always something. Lehrgen is an awkward cinnamon roll. Yes, I am using German version of their names here.
"Do you really think I WANTED to be on frontlines!?"
If her men could've heard her now, they could've told you that this was the voice of fire and brimstone. That was the voice Tanya 'Argent' von Degurenchaff deigned to use when someone was supremely stupid to the point of managing to seriously piss the tiny girl off almost to the point of shooting the fool.
Actually… she shot that hot-headed idiot who thought he was too great to heed her orders. With the war dragging on, the previously unbeatable wing 601 took heavy losses and they had to supplement with young blood. Even if Silver wing, as the public affectionately named the squad had been unusually trained, when they had been overwhelmed five, sometimes six to one, was the best of the best the Empire's army had to offer, that didn't mean they were vulnerable to being overwhelmed and being killed. The new blood were still good - all the best for Silver Wing, but they simply couldn't reach the level their predecessors had soared under command of their insane she-devil of a commander. And with being pressed on all the sides, Tanya's little group was extremely stressed.
Empire's enemies were beginning to catch up with them, and not only that, the sheer numbers of soldiers they had under command were a nightmare to deal with. It was like dealing with an infinite nest of angry bees. Kill as many as you want, but the new ones spawn and relentlessly attack.
In the day. At night. When one wanted to eat or shit in peace. The alarms sounded and willy-nilly, one had to be up in the air, their need for food or sleep be damned.
So it was safe to say that one Tanya Degurenchaff was not in her best mood - they were closing in on her because those damn hellhounds somehow sniffled out that the Rhine's Devil was here - not that it had been hard to do, Tanya's little army had a bad luck of being drawn into the worst skirmishes available day in and day out - and their opponents had known that too well for one tiny, sleep-deprived and more than irate girl who wanted to draw and quarter the idiot she was currently stuck with babysitting.
She wanted a bath. Some sleep wouldn't be amiss, either and oh god, she would cheerfully murder for a cup of a good, hot, strong coffee. Even gone to such an indignity to stuff herself in those corset and skirt thingies herself if that would mean to get her beloved drink. Or shoot herself into foot. Or… something.
But there he was, so very righteous, annoying and being too stupid to live.
Who else but Eric von Lehrgen. Her minder - she refused the word babysitter on the grounds that she was technically older than him, thank you very much - nagging her about… something something.
And Tanya exploded.
"You never gave any sign you aimed otherwise!" Lehrgen glared back at her. The sight of a grown-up man staring down a cute little girl, both of them clad in their respective uniforms - Tanya's was far worse to wear, what with her being unable to take care of her ablutions, her hair was out of her usual ponytail, her ever-present officer cap nowhere to be seen in lieu of the bandages around her head. Her face was streaked with smoke and dirt, with two blue eyes, cold as ice glaring daggers at Lehrgen, her right hand clenching her gun as he tried to convince herself that the man was useful, so no shooting the asshole. Even if he desperately needed it. The hell he dared to insinuate her to be a warmonger?!
"Wasn't that recruiting prospect enough of a red flag!? Honestly, only an idiot - no, an imbecile – would join with such a recruitment pitch!" She snapped back. Lehrgen's eyebrows shot up. He still had his eyeglasses on, but his upper right arm was bandaged. His usually immaculate appearance was tarnished with dirt and his usually immaculate brown hair messed up but he still somehow managed to look more or less in order. Lehrgen pressed the glasses higher on his nose, steel gray eyes wide with fury.
"… Yeah, right. You've played on their patriotism and morale just perfectly." He bit out. Tanya felt a bit hurt at the accusation. Lehrgen was the one to support her, wasn't he? But… her face pinched into a frown. She was so, so very tempted to use the butt of the gun and just knock the infuriating man the fuck out. This was a gross insubordination and - !
"Played how!? I told them the cold, hard truth - you think I've put them through that nightmarish training for shit and giggles?"
Tanya's shrill voice echoed in the room. Lehrgen fought not to wince. He almost regretted voicing his suspicions. Almost. But seeing her like - this – he just had to.
This girl, however angelic her appearance was, was a monster.
Laughing at the misfortune of her opponents, cheerfully slaying her enemies and painting both sky and fields in crimson. And this time... Lehrgen wanted to shake his head. This night air raid was trying for all of them. He of all people had known just how much under pressure this little girl had been through the duration of war. Though her rise among the best was frankly meteoric, her tactics were… just plain barbaric. He glared back at her, his eyes blood shot as his mouth unconsciously curled into a sneer.
"Your training was monstrous… from the get go. Only a bloodthirsty madman could invent that." And this was true. One month, in which Degurenchaff changed the so-called rabble into her attack dogs. Who, but a monster, could've done that? Lehrgen felt a wash of relief when he spat those words out at her. It had been long time coming, and this time, there were no repercussions.
In any other situation, he would've felt kind of guilty for scolding this waif of a girl, but, Lehrgen reminded himself, behind that delicate face, underneath the pale skin, those clear blue eyes and beneath golden hair, resided a monster.
A monster which single-handedly toppled them into the Great War.
He watched her jaw tremble slightly, before it firmed up and she glared at him again. He wanted to step back, but that would mean his surrender. So he held his position, fingers twitching for a gun on his hip.
Chapped lips, of the palest pink shade opened.
"You are right. Only a madman - or someone fearing for their very life would do that." Degurenchaff said solemnly. Lehrgen scoffed, his voice edging on hysteria.
"You?" He snorted. Unheard of. Not from Devil of Rhine. Never her. "Fearing for your life? I think this is kind of hard to believe, what with the massacre you've caused at the Rhine front!" Degurenchaff's face soured at the reminder of her success. Lehrgen was almost convicted to believe her. Almost.
Instead, he watched her abruptly spin around and head to the window. The window in question was more of a hole in the wall than a window, but the bland light coming through it gave her features a fragile cast of a maiden in distress.
It was kind of hard to believe this little girl was the infamous Silver Wing's commander and with the rare exceptions one of the Empire's most decorated and celebrated officers.
"This was a… miscalculation on my part." She admitted grumpily, causing Lehrgen to look at her with absolute disbelief. This was Tanya Degurenchaff. Who was she trying to kid? But Degurenchaff continued, her voice raspy from overuse and thirst, and those unusual blue eyes, too old for such young face captured Lehrgen's gray ones once more. " I thought only give them a proof that as a juvenile girl, I am unsuited for combat from the get go. I was almost killed for… " She waved her hand helplessly, "-fuck's sake!" She bit out, her voice bitter as one could get.
Lehrgen recoiled at the curse.
"Language, young woman!" he reprimanded her, only for Degurenchaff to scoff at him, the childish lines of her face twisting into a scorn.
"Oh, stop being such a prude." She sneered at him. Sneered! Lehrgen didn't know if he was dreaming or was he still awake. But Degurenchaff was apparently determined to keep him in her little nightmare a little bit longer. " And in my case, it's completely warranted for me to cuss." She finished snootily, stubbornly lifting her chin.
"Warranted or not, girls shouldn't cuss. It's unladylike." Tanya suppressed a hysterical chuckle that tried to bubble out from her throat. Oh. That man was funny. Kind of like an indignant little puppy. 'Wonder what kind of puppy would he be?' An errant thought floated through her brain before she ruthlessly squashed it. She was kind of in a middle of an argument with the bastard, and she intended to win.
"It's also…unladylike to be deployed on all the hot fronts but I didn't complain. Honestly. Double standards there." Exhaling a put-upon huff she quipped, rolling her eyes heavenward, a little bit humored at her inner image of Lehrgen as a puppy. Or at least with those floppy puppy ears…
"How dare you - !" 'Oh look. The puppy is trying to be dangerous.' Suddenly, Tanya felt tired. This whole argument was pointless. The war was nearing to its end, and Tanya could already foresee the shadows of defeat. Unconsciously, she slumped, her shoulders drooping, causing her to look even smaller than she already was.
They were running on a borrowed time.
She fought the prickling behind her eyes, 'Dammit, not now. Not ever. I am a fucking 40-years old salesman and I shouldn't cry just because everything is about to go to hell.' She berated herself.
Taking in a shaky breath and blinking hard she zeroed her attention back at Lehrgen. Honestly, the man was too stupid - too good - to live. She mused tiredly.
Shaking her head, she interrupted his little spiel as she leaned at the wall, the parts of rubble digging into her back uncomfortably. This, right now, was a reality. Her reality.
Curse that damned Being X and his shenanigans.
"I dare. I dare because it's a cold hard truth, Lehrgen. Something that's obviously hard for you to stomach. Anyway, my little thesis on logistics of transport? Didn't you ever wonder why have I choose such a boring... outright mundane theme for my graduating work? If I were such a warmonger you see me as, I could've chosen any number of other… shall we say, pro-war oriented topics. Instead, I've written my work on the most …civilian topic I could find." Her voice was brittle, about to shatter into nothingness.
Lehrgen paused, and for a moment, Tanya dared to hope. But her hopes were dashed with the man opening his mouth once again.
"Maybe. What about your cute little predicition of war? Looking at people as expendable source…" Lehrgen still eyed her cautiously, as if she was about to eat him if he made a wrong move. If she wasn't so very tired, Tanya would find the entire thing hilarious, a grown man fearing her, a tiny slip of a girl, but right then, she only felt irritation and pang of hurt cresting within his chest once again. She felt her lips curl downward the longer she listened to him.
'Is he really such an idiot or does he seriously take me for a fool…?'
"I wasn't the first one and I won't be the last." She aimed another glare at him. Oh, if the glares were shots, he would've been dead as a doornail at least five times over. Her voice crackled when she once again wondered why she was cursed to his company. Oh right. Because Weiss thought she had to be protected, the idiot.
She was an Argent, for fuck's sake. She was the one to kick them into the shape and they –
Her throat closed when she thought of warm eyes and soft voice. But only for a moment. Tee would be time enough to mourn later. Much later.
If ever.
" Are you trying to tell me that other countries would cheerfully overlook the Empire's expansion like a bunch of indulgent grannies? If so, then you are even more deluded than I believed you to be." She bit out. And she thought him to be an intelligent man. How could've she been so wrong? Were her number one salaryman skills finally leaving her for good?
Lehrgen's stricken face only made her more irritated for some reason. She pushed herself off the wall, heading to him, glaring at him all the while.
There was a taste of ashes and blood in her mouth, familiar and sickening. Elenium 95, no matter how good a tool it was, had been taking its toll mercilessly, wracking her body with pain and aches. She clenched her teeth, feeling more lonely than ever.
Curse you, Being X.
"I thought that you, of all people, saw me…. How much I wanted to be far away from the mindless slaughterhouse of a battlefield I had been thrown into just by virtue of having enough mana to operate the orb." Her voice was deathly quiet, barely more than a breath as she yanked the man by the fabric on his chest down on her level, those wide gray eyes behind the smudged glasses watching her with honest surprise and wariness. But Tanya wasn't finished with him yet.
"Yet, here I am, deployed straight to the deepest pits of hell just because I had been forced to play obedient little soldier and dared to survive in a vain hope that someone would have enough common sense within the gray matter residing between their ears to come up with an excuse to get me far, far away from this madness. Maybe you don't know, but in one of the books I've read was a saying that aptly describes this schadenfreunde of a situation we've found ourselves in. 'Live long enough to be a hero and you will surely be cast as a villain.'" Lehrgen's face looked like someone had struck him with a ten ton hammer. Tanya felt a pinch of guilt - only a pinch - and then, she abruptly pushed the man back, causing him to stumble before he caught equilibrium again. He awkwardly straightened himself, seemingly at a loss what to do. He opened his mouth and then closed it again. Finally, he spoke out.
"This – "
She shook his head, bemused. Seriously. Everything else goes above his head, but he's stuck on this little quote?
"Familiar, Lehrgen? Well, do wonders never cease."
Lehrgen was at a loss. He didn't expect such a child to be so very cynical.
Slaughterhouse.
Hell.
Common sense.
Each of those words was hitting him right into the chest, reminding him of his failure all too acutely.
They had praised this child so often; she was reviled almost as much on the other side. But in the entire furor, both sides forgot that Tanya Degurenchaff was... just a kid.
"But your prayers – " He tried to gather the shattered pieces of his illusions of her as a monster - only to her to emit a tired chuckle, the edges of her eyes crinkling into a smile that never reached her eyes.
"I will say that as many times as possible and once again. I. Don't. Believe. In. God. Whatever is it that forcibly messes with my brain to blather out those praises it's not me. God? Don't make me laugh. Kind, benevolent? Hil-fucking-airous. Look around you! Look at the battlefield! If God as such existed there wouldn't be a world war going around, and I wouldn't need to have this asinine discussion with you. At Rhine, I've listened to the prayers of my fellow soldiers. Heard their screams as I saw them dropping from the sky like charred flies to their deaths." She waved her right hand jerkily, a frown on her face making her older than she actually was as she talked, her words coming faster and faster. "I've killed the father of that little girl who killed Serebyakova. If there was a God, she would still have had her father. Look me in my eyes and tell me - do you really believe there's a God when it comes to war?"
Those piercing blue eyes, too old, too bitter, and so, so very tired, blazed into his own until his retinas feel like he was looking straight into twin blue suns. His heart sank.
He had failed. He - and everyone - had failed Degurenchaff – no, Tanya. And if God existed –
His own mouth twisted into a bitter grimace.
"… No. The god… doesn't exist." He finally admitted, his eyes lowering to the floor.
"Ah… ha, ha. Good boy." Lehrgen's head jerked up with surprise as he heard the unexpected sound.
Degurenchaff – no, Tanya - was laughing.
This little girl was laughing and then, he was pulled down to her level once again and a small, childish hand petted the top of his head like he was some kind of a good dog.
"Shut up." He snapped out, more out of a habit than everything else.
This Tanya was scary. Maybe - Lehrgen suppressed a shudder of dread skittering up his spine - she finally snapped. It wouldn't be surprising, what with her being on the front for so long without rest.
There was a maniac grin of relief on her lips as she glared at the ceiling.
"Oh, I won't. Hear that, Being X? Even your own creation - in a different world - disbelieves you. Who's the winner now, huh?" She very nearly cackled in delight and Lehrgen's heart sank. He forced himself to stop around and placing his hands on her shoulders - so very fragile - he belatedly noted to himself - and roughly shook her to quieten those disconcerting cackles.
"What - what are you talking about now?" She gifted him with a brilliant grin that left him in a daze.
"Oh, just a minor dispute with the so called God." She waved his concern off negligently, and she looked like devilish angel in that moment. Or an angelic devil? Lehrgen wasn't sure, but she was already speaking again. "And I just won. Sweet, glorious victory. " She breathed out, as if in bliss but then, her eyes sharpened out once again when she zeroed back on him.
Like a spider on a fly. Lehrgen suppressed a shudder. If that was how she looked at her opponents, then no wonder she was called a devil. This laser-like focus -
"I don't care what will they do to me anymore, because I've won, and he can't do anything to disprove this little fact. Deus lo vult, my ass. Ah – ha, ha, ha!" She just about howled with triumph, her body shaking under his hands with the force of mirth pervading it from the very tips of her hair to her toes.
He roughly shook her, causing her teeth to clatter roughly with the force of his shakes.
"Degurechaff, snap out of it! Derugechaff!" He screamed at her. His heart was racing with adrenaline. Oh go - oh fuck. Not now. Please, not now. It seemed that his shakes managed to get her back to normal, he noted with relief as she blinked up at him before clearing her throat delicately, a faint blush settling on those porcelain cheeks.
"Ah. Excuse me. Shutting up now." She apologized, ducking her head for a moment.
He stared. "… You are kind of creepy." He didn't remove his hands of her shoulders though. A tiny smile quirked at the edges of her lips – not that maniac grin or too happy smile, but something infinitely more real that only Lehrgen was witness to.
"Why, thank you for your compliment." She chirped - chirped! - At him. "Now, I can't get out of there, but you still can – "
That girl would be the death of him. Never in his life was Lehrgen so tempted to throttle someone so hard like he was right now with her.
"What the hell are you talking about?" He growled, but something within him already knew. She only confirmed his theory with childishly pointing at her chest with right pointer finger.
"Me. Die."
The pointer of her left hand landed in the middle of his own chest.
"You. Live." His blood chilled at her cheerful words.
That crazy girl!
"NO! You are just a kid!" He shook her again, only for her to look at him with amusement, like a doting parent would at their child.
Urk. Lehrgen swallowed. He was no kid, so how come she could make him feel like one?
A small, slender finger, full of callouses landed on his lips, the gentle touch immediately freezing him into stillness.
"Shh. Listen to your superior. " She flashed him a condescending smile. "You are good at that, aren't you? Even if I am younger than you, I still rank above you." The condescension changed into a grim determination. "So I command you to leave me behind. Get out of this little hellhole and find somewhere to live with kind wife and fat little children to spoil." Those eyes, how could he ever thought them to be full of blood lust? He wondered, dazed, disbelieving od her words.
"You were never cut for that bullshit, Eric. So listen to me like a good little soldier and go. Shoo." She waved him away.
She waved him away, as she would a dog.
"Not without you." His mouth spoke without his consent.
"Aw, you care now? So touching." She mock-swooned, causing him to feel a spike of ire and being a male never felt so humiliating like it did now. He glared back at her.
Was she a witch for daring to make him question everything at the drop of hat or something?
Those playful blue eyes flashed with several streaks of gold.
The hair on the back of Lehrgen's neck rose with alarm.
Oh Hell. This was not good.
" But as I've said to those cadets… I don't appreciate insubordination."