Summary: A day on the mountain never went according to plan. In fact, Ennis was sure this was how it wasn't supposed to go.
Disclaimer: This is my attempt to break out into other fan fictions. I own nothing involved with the short story or the movie, Brokeback Mountain. Everything you recognize in this piece belongs to the creative talent of the author, the director, the producers, the screenplay writers, and the actors that made this all possible. No reason to sue when they do it a hell'a lot better than I ever could.
Title: Fear in Wolf Clothing
By: duffshel
It was cold and damp. The grass was crushed to the earth under the immense weight of the morning dew. Trying its hardest, the sun tried to raise high into the sky to warm the world. But it was too early in the morning for such a thing to happen now. They had to be content to hold each other in the body heated tent.
Ennis shifted to rest his weight off the hip joint, rolling a little more into the warmth provided by Jack. The man in his arms was completely asleep, dead to the rest of the world. His slow and even breathing soothed Ennis as he had never expected.
It was still early in their trial of this new friendship. This new…well, Ennis didn't have a word to call it. Sure, they fucked a couple times. Hell, even once out in the open, by the fire. But it was still uneven ground for Ennis. He had to tread slowly, softly through this new terrain. Not that he would ever admit it aloud to anyone. Especially not to the man he held now in his arms.
He wasn't a queer. It had been stated clearly. The other man knew it. Shit, Jack had even agreed with him up on that slope. Though that little addition the blue eyed demon boy added resonated through Ennis' brain, even now. 'It ain't no one's business, but our own.' But a chill ran under the thin blankets, brushing the flesh of his ass. Ennis pulled in tighter to Jack, causing the other man to murmur something.
These were the moments he was coming to enjoy more than he had ever though he possibly would. He and Alma had moments of holding each other, but nothing like this. Back in those times, he had thought that was the best feeling in the world, her wrapped up in his arms. They were to be married and there would be plenty of time for lots moments like this. But, now that he had them with this man, he wanted them always. Just like this. Always like this.
Something tickled at his nose. Ennis scrunched it up, pulling his lips into a slight sneer. His arms tightened around Jack without him really realizing it. The warm muscles under his hands contracted and expanded as waking breaths entered the other man.
"'nnis?" Jack was still clouded in sleep, but he could feel the body tense behind his. The arms around his waist, his chest were tight, but nothing new there. Ennis always held him tightly. It was like he was trying to prove he was still a man with his strength in his grip all the while admitting he didn't want to let Jack go.
Ennis wanted to say something, anything. But as soon as he opened his mouth, his body rattled from the sneeze he had been trying to fight. His lungs expelled all his air, clenching down on his diaphragm. It hurt like hell. And it was kind of embarrassing to do that in front of Jack like that.
"Ya 'kay?"
Lifting slightly watering eyes, he took in the blue seas of pure concern. Concern for him. It was still startling to see that from Jack like this. But, deep down, he was starting to get warm feelings from seeing those eyes focused only on him. Too bad they were framed by such sharp jaw bones and bushy eyebrows. Always reminded Ennis of the lack of effeminate features.
"Fine."
He grunted some word out, dismissing anything more Jack would be able to say to him. The hurt replaced the concern quickly. Ennis bit on his tongue to stop the apologizes from running off of it. Jack was too sensitive and needed to learn to take things like a man. At least, that what Ennis kept telling himself every time he saw that look now.
His arms were removed from the body so close to his, chills now centering inside of his chest at the movement. Jack slowly, gingerly got to his feet. Long fingers from Jack's left hand reached towards his ass. Ennis felt a swell of achievement at the action. It had been a good night. Seeing the odd gait in Jack's step proved he had put in his all.
Jack reached out and collected his jeans. His legs felt like jelly as he wrestled into them. They were losing since he had lost some weight off their diet of beans and anything else they could ram in. His flesh goose bumped in the chilly air. It was way too early to be up.
He threw back the flap of the tent, walking head first out into the world. It crashed down on his shoulders. His breath came out in frosted pants. The fire was long dead and Jack scrambled to set it back up. Not only for breakfast, but for his poor fingers.
A small yelp escaped his lips as he sat down on the log they had dragged over for this camp sight. He was sore, but most certainly not in a bad way. It had been one of the best times. Ennis was slowly getting over his fears and was willing to show a little more when he took Jack.
There had been plenty of fears for him as well, but his wants for that blonde man were stronger. Jack knew what his feelings were and what they meant. And he also knew how hard it was for the other man to accept anything he might be feeling for him. Jack was a man after all. It wasn't right and all that bull.
He huffed a little, shifting to ease the ache. There was movement behind him. Ennis slowly emerged, standing at the entrance to the tent for a few long moments before moving out to sit with Jack. Neither man moved to start up any food. It was the right time to sit and take in everything, together.
Something pulled in Ennis' chest as several birds chirped away in the trees above them. It was almost as if everything were perfect. But then his mind kicked in and everything was ripped down. He was content with a man. It wasn't the way to be. Though his heart argued that his brain was crazy with such thoughts. Hell, his body was warming on the side that Jack was sitting by.
It was enough for him to pull away a couple of inches, the pretense of reaching for the coffee pot. Ennis looked inside. The coffee they had made yesterday was crusty, dried along the ridges of the pot. He grunted to himself. It would need cleaning before they could use it today.
Glancing quickly at Jack, Ennis pushed himself up. His body got chilled, but he focused solely on getting to the creek bad to wash out the pot. The water was cold. He hissed as soon as his fingers went through the surface. Ennis worked quickly, his hands numb by the time he was done.
The water splashed around as he made his way back over to the fire. He almost dropped the pot as he tried to get it onto the grate they had set up over the flames. Another hand, not his other hand, reached out to help him. Warm palm rested on the back of his hand. It wasn't the only thing to heat up.
"Thanks. Fuckin' fingers are freezin'."
Jack only nodded, for once not saying a word. The dark haired man waited until Ennis was leaning back against the log before he moved himself down to sit next to him. Ennis didn't say a word as he watched Jack reach over and take his left hand.
Feeling slowly returned to them as Jack rubbed his fingers, from tips to lower knuckles. Ennis almost purred at the action, as nice as it was. It also caused those warm feeling to swirl around again. He coughed a little to himself. There was no way he was going to let them out, not now.
"Better?" Jack asked without looking at him.
Ennis' throat suddenly closed up and all he could do was nod. It must have been enough for Jack because a small grin covered those sweet lips. His entire chest seemed to follow suit once Jack took his other hand. The action caused Ennis to have to turn his body a bit, so he was facing Jack more. This time he did moan.
Jack's grin turned into a full smile. Those blue eyes shined and the movements with his own fingers became more intimate and caring. He could almost hear how Ennis' breathing got heavier. Jack wanted to make some smart-ass comment, but was quickly cut off by Ennis reaching out for his chin.
He gave a questioning look before his smile was wiped off completely by Ennis' lips crashing right onto his own. Now Jack was the one to let a moan escape from deep in his throat. He opened his mouth to the questing tongue that brushed against his lips. It was his favorite thing about kissing the blonde man next to him.
They always started out questioning, taking it slowly as if afraid of where it might lead. But before too long, it became a full on battle. Tongues, teeth, and lips pushed and pulled against each other. Breaths became shared and harsh.
Ennis pulled back too quickly for Jack's liking. But he did enjoy watching Ennis' lick his lips, looking for the flavor he just pulled away from. There was a light in those brown eyes, something that said contentment to Jack.
"Better now?" He had to smirk as he looked straight at Ennis.
Those lips, usually so tight and unresponsive, turned upward into what could be called a smile for one Ennis del Mar, "All kinds. Thanks for the hand rub."
"Always was good with my hands. A'course you'd already know that, friend."
It was enough to get laugher from that hard man. Jack couldn't help, but to smile as Ennis wrapped an arm around his stomach as the laughter filled the area.
Wiping at his eyes, Ennis caught his breath and looked at Jack, "You dumbass. Why'd ya have to go an' say somethin' like that for?"
"It's that truth, ain't it?"
"Hmm, I reckon you're right on that one. Though, don't let it get to your head now."
They both went still and silent, smiles still on their faces. Jack watched the flames dance around in the fire pit while Ennis kept one eye on the coffee pot. He could soon hear the bubbling of the liquid inside the container. Regretting having to move, Ennis shifted so he could reach their supply of coffee grounds. He felt the burning of Jack's eyes into his back with every move he made to make their morning brew.
"We should have some different coffee in the next mule trip," Jack thought out loud as he watched Ennis pour the brown liquid into two separate cups.
"First ya complain 'bout the damn beans and now the coffee. You're one picky sum-of-a-bitch there Jack."
The dark haired man simply shrugged his shoulders and let his head rest back farther on the log. He felt really tired for some reason that he couldn't put his finger on. And, no, it didn't have to do with any activities that went on for the night owl's enjoyment.
His hand jerked at the sensation of the warm metal cup being placed onto his open palm. Swift fingers moved to encircle his as the cup went off balance and almost fell into the dirt.
"Hey there, bud. Pay attention. Don't wanna go spillin' all this good coffee, now."
Jack didn't respond other than tightening his grip around the handle of the cup. He really didn't want any coffee. Sleep was all he wanted. But he knew that they had to get the camp going, so one of them could start off to check on the sheep.
There was a little more shifting, but soon Ennis was back, leaning onto Jack. It was comforting to the blonde man. Knowing that Jack was there was one thing, but physically feeling his presence was treasured even more. And Jack never complained at these moments where Ennis just had to touch him in some way.
He sipped at the hot drink, letting his eyes unfocus on the fire, "So, ya wanna head up there today, or should I?"
"Ah hell Ennis, don't matter none. We'll both be up there at some time anyway."
"But someone needs to go up first. Just askin' if ya wanted to or if I'd be gettin' Cigar Butt ready."
Jack sighed deeply, smile completely wiped from his face, "I'll do it. Just not quite yet."
Ennis didn't bother to respond or make any arguments against the other man. They would be just wasted words and he never had that many to spare anyways. Watching the smoke trickled upward from the orange flames of the fire, Ennis suddenly desired a cigarette badly. He patted down his shirt until the bulging pocket of his left breast proved he had his pack on him.
The white paper crinkled as the flame hit it, tobacco burning to fill his lungs with that sweet pleasure. He looked over at Jack to see if he wanted one, but the other man wasn't paying him any mind. In fact, Jack was oddly quiet all of a sudden. Serious as he looking deep into his black coffee.
He pulled a long hit off and let the smoke sit in his lungs for a moment before exhaling it out into the morning air. There was an itch on his ear. Ennis used it as an excuse to look at Jack sideways. It had taken a little time and accepting on his part, but he was starting to see Jack as a very attractive man. He loved the playful, immature Jack almost, if not more, than this serious, older one.
There was something about that dark hair and those blue eyes. It was enough for him to lose himself in and forget who they were and where they were. And everything he knew he should think about this fact was lost in the wind. No one was there, at least in the front of his mind, telling him how evil and sinful these thoughts were.
But as always, Ennis was always pulled back into reality with a sinking feeling in his stomach. It was an odd pain and it always got worse when he thought about Jack and what his father would most likely due to that beautiful man if the old man was still around. Training from parents was hard to remove and his father had planted his beliefs deep into Ennis' mind. Those sights from the age of nine had always haunted him, but now he saw them almost every night. Every night since that first time with Jack.
The dwelling was brought to a halt from the sudden movement from his side. Ennis squinted and looked up to see Jack brushing dust from his pants from his standing position.
"Gonna take off. Them sheep be needin' to move to a new pasture today."
"A'right. When ya want me to come up?"
Jack looked away, towards the trees for a moment, "Whenev'a ya wanna come on up. Maybe after lunch?"
"You bet, bud."
Ennis watched Jack walk away from him, towards that damn skittish mare he had insisted in taking up the mountain. He would never admit it aloud, but Ennis had been impressed with how Jack handled that horse. Not many men would be able to do so much with something do untamed. Certainly not even him.
It was like watching a good movie. Jack moved with precision, a masculine grace. The saddle was placed upon the prancing horse's back. She snorted as Jack worked the bit in between her teeth, getting the bridle around her ears. He whispered under his breath to her as he got her ready.
And it was all over to quickly for Ennis' taste. He had been enjoying it from his spot at the fire. Jack mounted and with a quick nod, was off and gone from the camp sight. Only when Ennis couldn't hear the hoof beats anymore did he realize Jack hadn't eaten anything before he left.
!#$&()!#$&()!#$&()+
The morning had dragged. And the damn temperature increase hadn't helped matters at all as far as Ennis was concerned. He had tried to wait as long as he could. But he couldn't deny the fact that he wanted to be up on that hill with Jack.
He pushed his hat tighter down on his head as he tried to make out the white mass out on the side of the mountain. Ennis finally spotted the sheep, small and indistinct from the distance. But it was enough to know where Jack would be. He tried to make out the larger figure of the man and his horse. There wasn't one.
Ennis frowned, twisted up his lips as he scanned a wider area. He worried his lower lip between his teeth as he couldn't find a trace of Jack moving around up there. Even if Jack had been taking a break, he should have been able to see that damn mare up there with those sheep. Neither were there.
From the looks of it, the area Jack had moved the sheep into was far from the trees, only a couple of boulders in the vicinity. Something built up inside Ennis, making his suddenly jumping. He didn't know what it was or what it meant, just that he wasn't liking the feeling at all.
"Jack fuckin' Twist. Where'n the hell are ya?"
Nature didn't respond to his question. Cigar Butt simply scraped at the ground some more to pull up some more grass. None of it comforted Ennis at all. And the sudden cracks of thunder from up the mountain did even less.
On instinct, Ennis crouched down to the ground, hand on the top of his hat. In heartbeats, he realized it had happened no where near him and he straightened back up. There was another blast, this time quicker. And it clicked.
No clouds in the sky. No lightening. So, no thunder. Only one thing that would sound like that off the side off a mountain. A gun shot.
One more shot off.
Ennis sudden felt as if his heart jumped up into his throat. A chill ran down his body, a cold sweat breaking out on his brow. Without realizing, his feet were moving him towards his horse. His hands had minds of their own as they worked the rope, freeing the large animal.
He didn't even think about a saddle or anything else. All he wanted to do was get up the mountain to where he could make out the sheep. As Cigar Butt moved into a gallop, Ennis looked up to see the sheep were shifting. They were running. From something he didn't know. And that scared him
Being scared was something he was aware of on many different levels. Fear of his father and the beating that man could give out was a childish afraid. Then there was the fear of how other people looked at him and thought about him. And he had also experienced the slight fear of what was going to happen to him when he was left without anyone to take care of him.
But this new fear, this new feeling of being scared was the worst. It filled every inch of his body, made it feel like it was twenty below zero even with the sun beating down on him. And no matter how fast the horse under him moved, it wasn't nearly fast enough. This was a new fear, a fear for Jack. For once, this was a scared feeling for someone other than himself. He didn't know what to make out of it.
There wasn't enough time to figure it out. The trail got rough and he had to pay more attention to where they were going. His legs were beginning to ache from the strain of hanging onto the back of Cigar Butt as the horse wove his way through trees and around debris.
He could make out the bleating of the sheep now. They were getting close. But he was also very aware of the fact that he couldn't hear anything from Jack. And there hadn't been anymore gun shots since he had taken off from the camp sight.
They broke through the tree line. Ennis could finally hear the dogs barking, whining at something. His eyes darted around, trying to take it all in at once. It was almost a sensory overload and he had to shake his head to clear it all up.
The sheep were jumping around, running into each other in their panic. Two of the dogs were trying their hardest to get the herd under some sort of control. Neither was having much luck, though they were keeping the sheep from making it out of the little valley.
Ennis saw the last dog, the one that was whining. It was walking with a slight limp. He recognized it as the one that always sat with Jack when the other man was up on the mountain. Cigar Butt responded to his small kick and motions. They made their way to the third dog.
That's when they passed the wolf. It was on its side, tongue rolled out from the open mouth. There was a large, gapping hole in its chest. Blood and flesh was everywhere in the small area. Ennis could only panic a little more at the sight. He quickly sought out the dog again.
It limped towards the large, gray boulder that was sticking out from the green grass. Ennis could see something larger, something tan. He stretched himself a little and could make out the saddle. Jack's horse was on the other side of that large rock.
"Jack! Jack?"
His voice seemed to echo around him, bouncing back to assault his ears. Cigar Butt seemed to feel his sudden urgency and put in a little more speed. Ennis could make out the entire body of the mare, bloody leg and all. She was leaning her head down, front leg pawing at the ground.
Ennis didn't wait for his horse to come to a complete stop before he launched himself onto the ground. His feet hit at a run and he whipped himself around the boulder. He was brought up short by one extremely protective mare.
"Whoa girl. Just me. Where's Jack?"
The horse didn't seem to trust him. She shook her head, snorted at him in anger. A groan from behind her brought her to silence. Ennis himself almost forgot how to breathe.
Jack was on his side, left arm twisted funny behind his back. His legs were thrown out, leaning backwards a little. Ennis could only make out his black hair. Couldn't see any of his face.
He pushed the mare away impatiently and jogged quickly to where Jack was. His hand shook as he crashed to his knees and reached it out towards Jack's shoulder. Ennis gently grabbed the other man and pulled to roll him. A groan stopped him from moving him any more.
"Jack? Bud? You okay?"
There was a response, but Ennis couldn't make it out for the life of him. Frustrated, he pushed himself up and moved to the front side of Jack. His breath choked him as he finally took in Jack's face.
"Oh Jack…"
He lost his voice and anything more he might have been able to say was lost. Jack had blood running down from his hair line, covering most of his face. His skin was washed out, pale as snow. And there was no movement other than the soft rising and falling of his chest.
"Jack, can ya here me? It's me, Ennis. Say something, bud."
Ennis leaned forward more, pushing his ear down closer to Jack's mouth hoping that something would be said. It was almost eerie with how quiet Jack was. Never before had Jack been so quiet. Even made noise in his damn sleep.
Something was tightening inside his chest, making it harder to breathe. Ennis reached out a shaky hand to brush some of the hair from Jack's forehead. It came back sticky with blood. Tears began to fill Ennis' eyes, but the man was determined to not let them fall.
Taking no more time to think on himself and this new pain that was gripping him, Ennis leaned down and carefully began to move Jack's body so he would be able to lift him, "Hang on Jack. Gotta get ya up so we c'n get down off this damn mountain."
Jack didn't say anything, just gave a pain filled moan. His head dropped back as Ennis steadied his shoulder with one of his arms. Some of the blood trickled down to wet the shirt Ennis was wearing. But he didn't let that stop him from hooking his other arm under Jack's knees.
"A'right, bud. Gonna lift ya now. Then we're gonna have to get up on Cigar Butt. Might hurt a bit."
The horse heard his name and made his way slowly over to his master. Blood filled the animal's nostrils and made his uneasy. But it was almost as if he knew this was urgent and that Ennis needed his full cooperation in this matter.
Once Cigar Butt was close enough, Ennis shifted enough so he could hook Jack's right leg up over the strong back. It was an awkward angle, but it was enough that Ennis could push the other man upright onto the horse's back. He kept a strong hand on Jack's arm as he threw himself up right behind him. Ennis pulled Jack close to him and wrapped his left arm around the limp chest.
"Back to camp. Come, now. Hang on Jack, we'll get back and I'll take care of ya."
Without another thought, Ennis sent a quick plea up to the sky, asking for anyone to help keep Jack safe. The jarring motion of the horse was causing pain to the man in his arms. There were occasional moans and Jack was sagging more and more forward against his grip. And it hurt something fierce to Ennis as well.
He leaned forward enough so he could whisper pointless words in Jack's ear. They were words no one would ever hear him saw out loud, let alone to another man. But he knew Jack was unconscious and no one else was around. These words were safe for now. No one would come after him with a tire iron for saying them.
The camp was upon them faster than Ennis expected. But it was a huge relief and some of the weight that had settled on his shoulders had eased up a little. Now all he had to do was get Jack off the horse and onto the ground without hurting him anymore.
"Jack? You hear me? We're gonna have to get to the ground. Just hang in 'dere for me."
Taking a deep breath, Ennis pushed himself away from Jack and slid to his feet on the ground. Cigar Butt kept his body as still as possible as he waited for the other person to be removed from the top of his body.
Ennis thought for only a moment on how to make this the easiest, but nothing was really coming to him. He simply reached up and hooked Jack's arm with his hand and pulled the other man towards him. Jack's body went right along with gravity. The man fell heavily into Ennis' waiting arms. A small cry escaped Jack's lips.
"I'm sorry darlin'." Ennis brushed his hand across Jack's cheek, not paying attention to his words.
The fire had gone out while he had raced up the mountain, but it wouldn't be much work to get a new one going. He carefully set Jack down against their log next to the fire pit. Ennis looked into that pale face, took in the closed eyes. There was a tension there, pain lines etched across that beautiful forehead. And there was still a lot of blood.
He clamped a tight hand down onto Jack's shoulder, "Jack? Gonna get the fire goin' and get some water to wash ya up. Be right back."
It suddenly seemed too far from the fire pit to the edge of the river. And the pot he had brought with suddenly way too small for the amount of water Ennis wanted. Too many rocks were in his way, tripping up his feet, wasting precious seconds.
Ennis cursed as he dropped to his knees next to Jack. The other man hadn't moved at all since he had left him no longer than a minute ago. Concern filled him even more and he turned his attention to starting the fire. It took no longer than a few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity to Ennis.
"Should probably heat this water up some before I use it," Ennis talked to himself as he did these simple things. It filled the area with noise and since Jack wasn't the one talking, he would take it up. The words still flowed through tight lips, but there was more ease there.
He knew this had also been something Jack had taught him up there, herding them sheep. Jack had a way of talking about everything, while doing almost everything. It was hard to ignore or not to respond. There were so many questions and open ended comments that Ennis was beginning to fall into answering and giving in his own words. Talking wasn't as hard as it once was.
And now it was helping to calm his nerves, "Water should be good now, Jack. Gonna wash that blood off your face for ya."
It was a slow process. Ennis took all the care in the world washing to blood from that face he had come to love so much, deep inside that dark place he would never let anyone see. In that moment, he realized he would never be able to go back to what he was, who he was. Everything had been changed right under his nose. And it scared the living hell out of him.
His voice trembled, rushed out just over the sound of his own breathing, "Wha' ya done to me, Jack? Wha' ya done to make me like this?"
The cut running along Jack's hairline was clear as the noon-time sun with the blood wiped away. It was fairly long, but didn't look too deep. Ennis prodded at it a little. Some more blood trickled out, but nothing too bad. He put some more pressure on it, hoping to keep it from getting worse.
Ennis knew little about head wounds, other than the fact they could be real bad. Some guys he had worked with on one the many ranches had gotten kicked it the head by a horse. Said he felt fine, dead by the next sunrise. Chills of fear ran up and down Ennis' spine.
He mumbled to himself, working on cleaning up the man in front of him. Jack didn't wake during any of the treatment, only moaned a few times. His skin remained pale and sickly. There was a sweaty sheen across his forehead. Worried about fever, Ennis tried to keep Jack cool. He also worked on coaxing Jack to swallow some water by rubbing it down his throat.
It all ended up being extremely exhausting for Ennis. The thought of Jack's horse was in the back of his mind, but he couldn't bring himself to leave to go get the mare. All he wanted to do was get Jack into the tent so he could get the rest he would need to get over this injury.
Almost on autopilot, Ennis laid Jack down onto the top of his blanket, wrapping it up under Jack's chin. His own eyes felt heavy. Ennis wrapped himself around Jack, his arm tight around his torso. The other man was warm and had that smell he was coming to need to sleep well at night. It was all enough to pull Ennis into the world of sleep.
!#$&()!#$&()!#$&()+
Something was wrong. There was this odd sensation in the back of Ennis' mind. It pulled at his entire being. And he almost jumped out of his skin when he opened his eyes.
Jack was sitting up, looking towards the entrance to the tent. His movements were slow, fragile. There were no sounds coming from him. Only silent observation of the tent they had been in the entire time they spent on this mountain.
"Jack? Bud? You okay?"
The sound of his voice caused Jack to turn to look at him. Those blue eyes were sort of glassy, sort of distant. But there was recognition there and that helped Ennis to breathe a little easier.
"Ennis? Where're we?"
"Back in the tent, in camp. I got ya and brough' ya back. How ya feelin'?"
"H'rt. Dizzy. Wha' happened?"
Ennis reached out and placed his right hand on Jack's cheek. There was a wetness there and taking a closer look, he could see the silent tears running from those eyes. His heart hurt at this side of Jack, this vulnerability. Again, he had a moment he couldn't understand. Something protective burst forward, wanting to hide Jack away from everything bad in the world.
"I don't really know. Heard the gunshots, headed up the mountain to find ya, bud. Ya were layin' on the ground next'a that damn mare of yours."
He watched Jack's face scrunch up, thinking, trying to remember. There were sounds of comfort, soothing inside the tent. It took Ennis a second to realize it was coming from his own throat. Thinking on it, it really wasn't much different from the noises he made to calm his horses, but it seemed so right now. Giving that to Jack didn't bother him.
Jack opened and closed his mouth a few times before being able to put words to the different shapes formed, "I was watchin' the sheep. Borin', nothin' big. Then…"
His hand was almost thrown from Jack's face as the other man shook his head, but Ennis remained his gentle grip. The pads of his fingers massaged at the sweaty skin as Jack moaned and swayed a little at that motion. Ennis was worried Jack was going to pass out on him, but Jack held on.
"Wolves. A few of 'em. Big 'uns too. Took some shots at 'em," he reached up and rested his palm over the cut on his forehead, "Got thrown. Damn horse spooked."
The last words were down to a whisper. Jack's eyes fluttered as he fought to stay awake. Ennis reached for him as he slumped forward, catching him so Jack wouldn't fall to the ground.
"It's okay, bud. Gonna help ya to lay down."
It wasn't much to get Jack back down. But there was that hand gripping his own. Ennis had to smile and tightened his grip on that hand. There was a tug and Ennis found himself laying back down, facing Jack. He shifted a little to get comfortable on his hip, but he didn't lose the smile in any fraction.
"Better?"
Jack smiled a little, eyes sleepy, "Thanks for comin' Ennis. Means a lot to me."
"Always Jack. Sure you're ready to sleep some more? Head okay?"
"Yeah, should be fine. Just wanna sleep."
"A'right, but ya let me know if ya need anything. Wake me for anything'," Ennis reached forward and gently pressed his lips against Jack's. It was a small bliss and he didn't want to let it stop, but knew Jack wasn't ready for anything much right then.
Night fell around them, chilling the air. Ennis kept Jack close to him, not finding sleep for a few more hours. He wanted to make sure Jack would be fine, not get lost inside himself during his sleep. And he had some stuff to think about.
There was something new in his mind. It wasn't what should be there either. And it scared him. Back down, in the real world, there was that normal life waiting for him. Ennis was supposed to be excited and ready to take on that life. Marriage to a wife, have some kids. That was what he was supposed to do.
Now, it didn't feel right. This person, who he held in his arms now, on this cold mountain, made him feel more whole than he ever had in his entire life. His heart felt lighter, happier. Hell, he had never smiled, talked this much with one person before.
And he was going to have to give it all up. It would all be over when they left for the summer. Ennis didn't know what to think about that. All he knew, he was in it, deep. It caused him to grin as he tightened his hold on Jack and let his mind fall into slumber. The cold didn't touch him anymore.
"The heart has reasons that reason does not understand."
Blaise Pascal
The End
Author's Note: Well, this was my recent attempt outside the world of CSI. It was a challenge, closest thing I'll probably ever get to a romance. Hope it was an enjoyable, quick little read for everyone. Read lots of stuff about what could have been later in their lives, but wanted to do something about what might have been while they were on the mountain. Just what I thought about for that moment where Ennis might have come to terms a little with what he was thinking.
So yeah, as always, feel free to tell me what you think about anything with it. I always appreciate feedback on anything, as many of my CSI readers know. And speaking of them, I have to get going. Might have a head hunt soon if I don't get something posted over there soon. Thanks to everyone who read this! Bye!