Disclaimer: Gundam Seed (Destiny) does not belong to me.
The Longest Days
Long days were common for Cagalli Yula Attha, especially after the second war had ended. While things were less hectic on the battlefront, politics never slowed down. Sometimes Cagalli wished it were those days long ago when she fought with the natives in the desert and all her worries was her and her comrades' lives.
Of course, wishes for the past were something that never came true; Cagalli knew this truth all too well.
"Ma'am, would you like me to bring you anything to drink? Perhaps a snack would also do you well," asked a woman dressed in a maid's uniform. She must have been recently hired, because Cagalli couldn't recall her name.
"Maybe a glass of water," she responded half heartedly.
The woman quickly exited to go fulfill her task of fetching water, leaving the blonde representative to her lonesome. She sighed softly as she rubbed her temples. Really, the life of a politician had to be the most grueling and tiresome.
She looked at the stack of documents that had increased throughout the course of the day and her visage turned from tired to defeat. She picked up the first paper in the stack and started to skim its contents, however the words began to blur as her thoughts traveled elsewhere.
Her eyes strayed down to her bottom drawer. She placed the document down and opened said drawer, revealing a very plain looking photo album. She picked the thick book up and laid it upon her desk. She probably should have continued to work, but her mind was now on a single track.
She flipped through the pictures mindlessly, stopping here and there to look at a memories inducing photo. She stopped most often when she crossed a picture of her dear father, and a melancholy smile would appear on her face. She always wished she could have just one more moment with that strong willed father of hers, but she knew it would never be enough.
She flipped the page again to reveal a picture of someone she had also lost, but her expression fell from the earlier bittersweet look.
Staring straight at her was a photo of two people, but only one made her this hurt, and it was not the boy with the identical face to her own.
No, it was the green eyed male who made her heart ache, especially when he smiled so happily at the camera with his arm draped over his best friend's shoulder—Cagalli's brother. She ran her fingers along his identical image, remembering how much his soft welcoming smiles used to make her breath catch in her throat.
Athrun Zala—Cagalli Yula Attha's lingering regret.
He was the only person she didn't lose to death, but the separation was much more painful. Perhaps she should have been grateful that he was alive elsewhere, living his own life. He probably was dating some pretty girl—most likely that child with reddish hair. She knew the girl admired him; perhaps she had even grown to love him. Cagalli had even asked her to take care of him. But the thought of Athrun kissing her displeasured her greatly; even though she knew that it was no longer her right to feel such.
Knowing he was elsewhere left so many ends untied. She knew they couldn't be together. She could never give up her country to be by his side, just like he couldn't give up his identity to be by hers. But someone deep within her she hoped he would walk through the door and once again takes up the false identity of Alex Dino, body guard to Orb's representative. It was a selfish wish, but Cagalli couldn't help but want it.
She looked at her ring finger, which was now naked. She had taken off that ring at the end of the second war, officially recognizing that they would never be together. It was hard to accept, and she had never truly faced the truth of their ended relationship, but it had to be done.
Sometimes, when left to her own thoughts, she would entertain daydreams where she and Athrun were happily married, living in a small cottage, with no worries at all. They would spend their days in each other's arms, laughing the days away blissfully. Sometimes they would spend days on end just to make love to each other, forgetting that the rest of the world existed. Sometimes she would imagine what their children would look like, and would name them accordingly. Each holiday they would go and visit Kira and Lacus, who would also be married with children, and spend the vacation together with frustration and love.
While she's dreaming, she might as well bring her father and all her friends back to life. And just to make it even better, let's pretend the wars never occurred, and there was no difference between coordinator and natural.
So dreams were dreams, and best to leave it at that. They had their chance together, but it didn't work out. It was simple enough. There was a saying that a first love will never come to fruition. Hers certainly did fruit, but those fruits quickly rotted, and left the worst aftertaste.
It had been close to four years since the end of the second war, but she never once saw him. She had many chances to see him--the most recent being her brother's birthday party--but she didn't want to see that enchanting smile that would no longer be directed at her. Cagalli was strong when it came to most things, but love was something she had only had once. Her inexperience in love's aftermath left her more scarred than any physical battle she had fought.
Her eyes began to water as she once more looked at the picture of the man she longed for. She grabbed the fabric of her shirt tightly as if her heart was being torn out, and the only thing that could prevent that was her own hands.
"Why…" she sobbed as the tears became thicker. "Why couldn't you love me?"
But there was no answer. Athrun didn't appear, he didn't hold her lovingly, and most of all, he didn't say "I do love you".
There was a knock on the door, which pulled Cagalli out of her depressing thoughts. The maid who was here earlier asked for entrance and Cagalli wiped away her tears quickly as she permitted the woman to enter.
The woman walked over with a tray that held a single glass and a pitcher of water. She placed the cup down on Cagalli's desk and poured the liquid until the cup was three quarters of the way full. She placed the pitcher beside the cap and looked back at her employer.
"Is there anything else you need, Ma'am?" She asked politely, as worry befell upon her features. Almost anyone would be able to tell if someone was crying only moments prior, but luckily Cagalli and this maid weren't close enough for her to pry.
"No," she responded, knowing the only thing she needed would never be hers, "thank you, but no."
The woman bowed as she exited the room and left Cagalli to her paperwork, which this time she would surely keep herself on task. She took a sip of the water, and looked at the pile of papers and sighed. Surely today would be another long day.