Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

Author Note: This is the sequel to my story 'Time After Time', if you haven't read it, you might want to go back and start there. If you dont you might just get a little confused.

Warnings: Heavy angst in this first chapter

The weather forecast for the Kanto region predicted a rain storm from the hours of three a.m. to twelve p.m. Yagami Raito's funeral was to be held at eleven a.m. So much for Lawliet's hope for sunshine. But somehow, in some way, it felt befitting. As if the heavens were in mourning for him as well.

Standing before the mirror in what used to be the room he shared with the teen, Lawliet began tying his new two hundred dollar tie, and wiggled his toes inside his shoes. He didn't like suits. They always managed to suck the comfort out of him and reduce his thinking process by nearly sixty percent.

However, he knew Raito would have liked this suit. The color was a deep midnight black, with a hand made red tie. Lawliet knew he did not look good in the color red, and that he never would, but this was for his friend.

He smiled at himself, realizing that he had tied the silky thread around his neck in near perfection. No one had ever taught L Lawliet how to tie a tie, for there was never any reason, but he had watched Raito enough times to learn.

Tears began to water in his eyes now as he gazed into the mirror, memories playing like silent home movies in his head. Raito was smiling, and moving his lips, but there were no words coming out of his mouth. He had brushed those auburn strands out of his face and looked over at his father with obvious respect and love.

L sucked in a deep breath, filling his lungs with the rain air coming in through the open window, and closed his eyes. He wanted to make sounds and words come out of Raito's mouth. He wanted to make Raito real again. He wanted-

Knock.

Knock.

"The limo is ready L." Watari's tired, exhausted voice, drifted from behind the closed bedroom door.

"Thank you Watari." L moved to the door and opened it with a small smile. Watari had been there for him the past week, holding him, cradling him, as he cried through out the long nights. He owed Watari a vacation, he knew he did, but a vacation meant that L would have to be alone.

Alone was a weird word for L. He had always been alone, even when he stood in a crowded room filled with people.

Even though they hated one another, tried to kill and capture one another, Raito was the only other person in the world who could understand that. He knew what it felt like to be different, to not fit in, to be socially inept. Raito possessed the skill, but he held the world away at arms length. L had the world in his palm, but he lacked the skill.

An odd combination. But an odd combination that might have worked.

Inside the temple, the entire Yagami family was there. Among them were those who respected and cared for the Yagamis. There was Aizawa, Mogi, Ide, Matsuda, L and Watari.

There was also a number of students from To-oh University who were there as friends of Yagami Raito.

L smirked inwardly. They weren't Raito's friends. The thought made him squeeze the photograph in his hand, crinkling the middle where the face of an amber eyed young boy was smiling. He squeezed till his nails pushed into the skin on his palm. He fought back the tears by forcing himself to look up at the pure white casket in front of them.

In all his funeral planning, Soichiro had specifically made sure it was white casket his son was placed in to. Perhaps it gave him that final sense of satisfaction, knowing Raito was truly innocent, for L didn't bother to tell him anything other than his son was murdered by Kira.

L had figured, in an awkward sort of truth, Raito had been. Kira had become an alternate personality inside of Raito. Kira had been the one desiring power and making new worlds. Raito was an ordinary teenager who happened to allow curiosity and boredom to ruin his life, and in the very end, he probably realized it a little too late.

Starring at the casket, L noticed how lovingly it was covered in flowers and fruit, all in memory and respect for Raito. There was a school photo on the table beside the casket, with little white envelops, all tied with silver ribbons for the family.

In Japan, it was customary to leave an envelop filled with money to help the grieving family cover funeral costs. L's contribution had been a blank check for Soichiro. Whatever the money didn't cover, L would. That was the least he could do.

L didn't know what sort of pain Soichiro and his family were going through. He knew the pain he was feeling, which was felt like someone ripped his heart out of his chest and threw it into oblivion. He was feeling all that, and he had only known Raito for such a short time. He couldn't image knowing Raito from the day he was born, and raising him, holding him, then losing him only eighteen years later. It just wasn't fair.

Unable to take it anymore, L rose from his seat, grabbed his umbrella and poking the photograph into his pocket as he made a quick exit. He couldn't stand crowds no more than he could stand to wear shoes or a suit.

As he left the Buddhist temple, leaving Watari behind inside, he decided to take a stroll. It was not like the family could be insulted. L didn't exist in their world. He never did.

The wind blew stiff with the rain, making it difficult to open the umbrella. L gave up and let it go. It bounced around the ground before the wind carried it off down the street like a kite.

L looked up at the dark, grey sky, rain spattering against his face, and closed his eyes. He was human. He could feel the rain. He wondered if Raito could feel it in Mu… He knew he didn't.

"What are you doing Ryuzaki?" L closed his eyes, his body and mind traveling back in time, to a time when he and Raito had spent several long moments on the roof.

As L turned to see who was behind him, to his dismay, he saw it was only Soichiro.

"I am standing in the rain." He told him.

"More like a storm. You should come inside. You'll catch a cold."

L looked Soichiro over. His brown chocolate eyes were outlined in red from all the crying, and his mouth and forehead had a million and one new wrinkles. His clothes looked thrown together in that last minute of struggling to live on. L knew that last minute so well.

"I could say that same to you Yagami. Please, I wish to be left alone."

Soichiro pressed on, not caring, he had to say this. "I think you were the first person Raito could feel a possible connection with. Raito grew up with the feeling he was too different. I think you were his first real friend as well. If that's worth anything at all."

L couldn't lie. He was a little shocked to hear that. He hunched his shoulders and tried not to cry, or at least let Soichiro know he was crying.

Gently, but loud enough for Raito's father to hear, L admitted, "I can take the fact that he's gone. Everyone dies. I can deal with never saying goodbye. Goodbyes never amounts to anything in the end. What gets me….what's too painful…is knowing I should have saved him. Knowing I could have, if only I'd listened to him. Knowing all of the 'could have been's."

For L those 'could have been's were so unfair. He was forced with the reality that he could, and did, love Raito in a hundred and one different ways with no really good reasons for why.

It was just a story, a story told by Raito. It had to be true, but L didn't live it like Raito did. Up until then he didn't think he had anything for Raito but an enormous amount of respect and suspicion. Now he was faced with love and it was too late.

Raito was gone.

The wind blew hard, nearly pushing the two men off their feet. Soichiro didn't know what to say. He had no words to something like that. All his life he was tough. He was taught how to stand strong, but now, now, he felt like he could fall and never get up. Uncharacteristically, Soichiro grabbed L from behind, and hugged the detective close to his body.

L tried to pull away at first, but when his body recognized the warmth from Soichiro he let himself relax. If Raito had lived, if he had reached his full height, his full body mass, his father's age, would his hugs be so warm and so strong?

"You we're probably the best thing that happened to him Ryuzaki. For that, I thank you. I thank you so much for being a friend to my son. That's all that matters to me now."

Soichiro let go of L's thin frame. He shook his hand as strong as he could, then left L alone as the detective had wished.

L stood there freezing from the wind and gazing around. His suit was ruined but that didn't matter much. He pulled the photo from his pocket, holding onto to it for dear life as the wind tried desperately to steal it away.

He looked deep into those amber shaded eyes that sparkled so young and full of life as he began to cry much harder. "Raito… Raito you're dead…..and I, I can't tell you. That's what hurts most of all. I can never say it loud enough for you to hear me."

The wind pushed around L, fighting against him. L let it win this time, and let the photograph go. It left him, joining the leaves and rain drops swirling around in the wind. He watched as it twirled and flipped, and floated away till he could not longer see it in the distance.

*()*()*()*

Damn bird. Damn annoying bird. L turned over onto his side, trying to get back to sleep but the chirping was nonstop. There should be a law about chirping so early in the morning. He pulled the blanket over his head. How was he suppose to get some rest if that bird was having a concert outside?

A memory of Raito flooded the room. L could almost hear the voice next to him, "L come one! You didn't even allow me to go to sleep till after two. How can I work with so little sleep? You want me to pass out?"

L regretted not allowing the teen to sleep. He sighed now, feeling that familiar tug in his chest and felt the tears beginning their trail down his pale cheeks. L was sure those tears had worn out their welcome. He was so tired of crying.

"L!" The detective jumped. It wasn't Raito's voice, but Mello's. "L! Get up! Your sleeping the day away."

Moving back at Wammy's might not have been such a good idea. L groaned and sat up, raven hair falling into his eyes and face. He brought the back of his hand up to wipe at his cheeks. "Mello…go find Near or Matt. Leave me be."

"No! You've been sleeping for days. Get up." With that Mello opened the door without permission, entering L's bedroom along with Near and Matt who followed in toe.

Near stayed in the door way, twirling white hair around a finger. Matt leaned against the window playing his PSP as if he was pretending he was in another world, which L figured wasn't really pretending. Matt tended to disappear when he had a game, and he had a game whenever he felt too uncomfortable to deal with whatever reality was throwing at him, just like Near did with his dice.

Mello on the other hand, threw himself into L's recliner and bit into a chocolate candy bar. "You've done nothing but sleep in here for days. You ever going to take a case again or what?"

"Mello, I need time to mourn. My friend just-"

"DIED. We know. But that was over a month ago." He informed. "You can't just lay in bed like life itself walked out on you."

If Mello only knew how true his words were.

" You three boys are generous, however, I know Watari sent you in here. Please, find someway to entertain yourselves."

Matt's hand suddenly rose. "I am entertaining myself. I told everyone to just leave you alone. But no one listens to Matt."

Near's voice came low and smooth. "I listen to you Matt."

Mello's eyes slanted in jealousy. "Stupid, little, albino freak. No one asked you to listen to Matt. He has me. I listen to him."

"Oh really?" Near sneered. "This morning, what level did he announce to the whole table that he reached? What level did he scream as he jumped from the table spilling his milk in the process?"

Mello's faced dropped as he tried to remember. "Sixty……..something…"

"Just as I thought. Too busy eating chocolate and gaining wait."

"Hey! Using your brain can-"

"Yes, but you do not use your brain."

L had enough of it. He tossed the blankets aside, and got out of bed finding his shoes. He laced them time before leaving the three, well really two, to bicker out their arguing over Matt. If you pushed past how annoying they were about it, it was actually cute to see Mello and Near fight over Matt. Matt was a lucky boy.

L found the kitchen filled with a chocolate cake at the table, and Watari, who was sipping coffee. "Hello L." He said brightly. "Decided to wake from the dead did you?"

Ryuk's laughter echoed above L. "Hyuk hyuk… dead…get it?"

L glared up at the rough shinigami eating an apple. "Don't you have better things to do than follow me about?"

"Nope."

L sighed. That damned shinigami was a major pain in L's ass. How did Raito deal with him for so long? "I believe, Watari, that I deserved that long rest."

"Yes, you did L." Watari answered, ignoring the shinigami only L could see and hear. "I have noticed, as of lately, you seem a lot stronger."

"It takes a lot to force myself to get up and dress but I-"

"No. I mean in general. Since my entire time I've known you. You have changed. You are stronger, harder, quicker."

The muscles in his body tensed. "Is that a good thing Watari?"

"I like to think so."

"Thank you then."

The two shared a small short smile, then L watched as Watari cut a slice of cake. "Would you like tea L?"

"No. No im not hungry. You eat it Watari. I have something I'd like to do."

L made his way outside. It was winter, cold and dreary, typical December weather for pretty much no matter where you lived. The sun was hidden behind dark clouds as the wind blew his black hair into his vision as he scanned Wammy's enormous yard. Children were running around in a snow ball fight, giggling and screaming.

A clump of snow, suddenly missed it's intended target and smacked into L's arm, crumbling into nothing as it fell back down to the earth. Shocked, the few scattered students held there breath.

L never played in the snow. Not once. It was wet, cold and in his opinion disgusting. But for some reason he bent over, scooping the snow into his ungloved hands and gently tossed the snow ball at the young girl's feet. She smiled scooping up snow and hit another boy in the game.

L watched as the students all forgot he was there as they ran off to continue the battle of snow.

"Hey L, you're starting to get a bit boring." Ryuk complained, reminding L he was floating just above his head. "Raito would have used that death note by now."

"I never plan on using the Death Note Ryuk, that I can assure you."

"Huh. That's no fun. Well, you're just boring!"

L chuckled, his shoulders shaking gently. "I said I was never going to use the Death Note. I said nothing about the Time Note. Tell me Ryuk, would you follow me through out time?"

"Oh yeah. I'd have to. It's the rules."

"Hm." L walked out to the lake near the older boy's dormitories. He walked down to the edge of the dock. The water was iced over and covered with snow, keeping L's reflection impossible for him to see.

L had never bothered to read the rules of the Time Note. Sitting alone on the docks with Ryuk and the cold wind for company, L figured he could now do that. Before it had been to painful, much too painful.

He lifted his shirt carefully to pull out the Time Note where he had hid it between his abdomen, and his jeans. Watari had believed it was hidden with the Death Note in a secret vault, but L couldn't let that happen. Not when he had too many plans.

A/N: I went back and corrected a bunch of mistakes I made when writing. For instance the weather. It should be winter, not summer. Also I fixed some grammer problems. I am so very very sorry! If you spot something I didn't, let me know.