Nightmares
I have the typical nightmares. I dream of being sliced open. I dream of the imagined screams. I dream that my family was too late, that I was too slow. I wake up in a cold sweat, my breathing erratic, my hand's shaking uncontrollably, my heart is racing and my mind clouded in terror. I wake up in my capsule, most of the time feeling confuse, confuse that I'm not dead, wondering how I'm alive. Then I remember. I remembered surviving, of fighting and winning. But did I survive because I still feel like a victim. I remember the screams, and wondering what to do. I remember freeing myself and fighting back, but I don't remember being heroic. I don't remember saving myself from the fate that awaits me. I don't remember going home.
I wake up in my capsule, hopeless against the images that my mind had just created. Images of events that hadn't happened, images of events that was worse then what had happened. Images that I won't forget, the events that I want erased from my mind. But every night, I fall asleep and I remember. All I want to do is forget the nightmares, the real and imagined ones, and just gets a moment of peace.
But I can't because I have nightmares. I wake up at night, my pulse racing, my heart beating erratically, my hands shaking, sweating, and my mind clouded. I wake up because of many things. But my nightmares are the one horrifying moment when I knew that I'm not invincible.