Chapter 1, Beginning or End?

He sat down and started talking in what I'm sure he considered to be his finest approach. What can I say, I was jaded. I sipped my drink and silently begged Alice to come back from the bathroom. Why the hell did I agree to come out tonight? Oh right. They're worried about me. It's the same shit over and over. I go to work, I take Tegan out for runs and to the park and then I come home and lock myself in. I haven't been to a movie theater in over 2 years. Restaurants are lunchtime work affairs while in the company of others only. My mother, the bitch, has gotten into a lot of fights with me over the last 9 months or so. And my dad came to me the other day almost crying because his co-worker's daughter didn't get out as fast. And yet, I can't fix it. I can't fix myself. So I'm here, trying not to be a killjoy.

The guy next to me is using pick-up lines and I smile non-commitally. He just laughed. Why the fuck did he just laugh? He's moving closer. I don't why the FUCK is he moving closer.

All of the sudden he draped his arm around my shoulder and held on tight. I know I held my breath and just stared straight ahead. All sound just faded away. Everything was flashing at me again. My heart wouldn't calm down. If it didn't slow down I was sure it was going to explode. My hand just gripped my glass tighter and tighter

***

Dad and Em and I were moving boxes into the apartment, he walked around the side of the building with his Boston Terrier. He waved and his dog slowly came over to say hi. I bent down to pet him and looked up to ask his name.

"He's Brutus, I'm Tyler."

"I'm Bella"

"Hey Bells, Can you help me with this one?" Em yelled.

"Yeah, be right there."

"Nice to meet you Tyler." I leaned down to pet Brutus, "You too big guy"

***

We got tickets to go to a basketball game with one of his friends Mike and Mike's girlfriend Jessica. The three of them just kept drinking beer throughout the entire game. They were all slurring sloppy drunks by the final buzzer. Luckily we'd driven in 2 cars because Mike wasn't letting anyone else drive. I barely got Tyler to give up the keys to his precious truck to let me drive home. He was quiet most of the ride but as soon as we got home, I knew why.

"Stay away from Mike, Bella. You're not his type. He doesn't like girls like you."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, I said, stay away from him. I heard what you asked him at half time. How the hell is he supposed to answer that, huh? Tell me that? He doesn't like you, he never could. Just stay away from him."

"Tyler, the only questions I asked Mike all night were about the game and if he liked his new blackberry. What question are you talking about?"

"The phone question BELLA" He said my name with such distain. "He can't answer you unless you go behind my back. I want you to stay away from him."

"Tyler, the only time I have ever seen Mike has been with you. I don't know how to contact him and I don't care enough to go track him down. I wanted to know because I have to get a new phone soon. You know that. What the fuck crawled up your ass?"

"You're not his type Bella, just stay away from him."

This argument went in circles for hours. I locked him out of my bedroom and tried to go to bed, he kept trying to call me so I turned off my phone. Then he started knocking on my door. I knew he was drunk, but this was just crazy belligerence. I don't like it one bit.

***

A friend of a friend had some lab/pit puppies. She needed to find homes for them and nobody wanted them. I had grown up with dogs and my cousin had 2 pits so I said I'd take one. I took one of the black ones and we got my vet to say she was a lab mix so my apartment complex wouldn't shit a brick. She was the sweetest thing. She loved playing ball and surprisingly she was a hell of a lot smarter than I thought she was going to be. One mess up was all she needed before she got it and wouldn't do it again. I loved my little one. I named her Tegan.

Tyler was in between assignments for his job and taking some time off so he decided to do the work they gave him at my house so he could spend some time with Tegan and she wouldn't be left home all day alone. I thought it was working out fairly well till we went on one of our long walks and I literally got yelled at for not letting her off-leash to run free like Brutus or for trying to teach her not to pull. He also hated it when I would use the regular leash instead of the retractable. He actually started throwing it in my face that he was spending more time with her than I was so she was practically his puppy and I should be doing things his way.

***

I tried to get Tyler to go home for Thanksgiving with me but he wouldn't. A bullshit excuse about my parents not liking him. And not letting Brutus up on the furniture. House rules. No dogs on the furniture. It doesn't matter how small the dog is. If you want the dog to sit in your lap, you sit on the floor. It's what we do. He claimed he wouldn't subject his dog to that kind of treatment and stayed home.

***

"Those god damn Mexican left their fucking nails all over the grass when they left today. I picked em all up to I can pop their tires tomorrow."

"Who are the Mexicans?"

"The ones that have been working here lately!"

"You mean the Puerto Rican, Argentinean, Brazilian and American ROOFERS?!?!?"

"No I mean the Mexicans!"

"If you're talking about the men who have been fixing the roof for the last week, they are in fact from a number of Spanish speaking countries. I haven't heard one of them talk about Mexico at all. In fact there are a number of them that are from Iowa. The ROOFERS may have left nails. That is something that should be reported to the management office as a safety hazard as well as to their company as a complaint. If you put nails through their tires, I will report you to the police. Get the fuck out of my apartment now!"

"I will not get out until you can get hold of your emotions. You're completely out of control right now."

"Why because I'm speaking with authority and raising my voice? Tyler I want you out now"

30 minutes later he was gone and Tegan was curled up at my feet whimpering. This fucking blows. This is not the man I met so many months ago.

***

He was supposed to leave 3 months ago. He'd moved out of his place and was only supposed to stay in mine for a week or two before he went to the new office they were opening out of town. Every time it's another excuse. He came back today after visiting the new office and got into the car at the airport. Yet another excuse. He wasn't leaving. I couldn't do this anymore. The screaming matches. The degrading me for no reason at all. I just couldn't. I'd called Alice and she was waiting by the phone. I had bags packed in the trunk for me and Tegan. I had enough food for a couple days for her. The GPS was in the arm console. All my important papers, passport, checks, birth certificate were all in the lock box that were in the side compartment of the trunk. I knew if he came back and told me he wasn't leaving, I was. I'd give him a chance to go first. We got back in the apt. My phone was in my hoodie pocket, Alice was already on speed dial. I just had to hold the button down. She knew if I didn't pick up to get in the care with Jasper and to have him call the cops while they were in the car. We sat down at the table while we grabbed something to eat. I asked how it went. I was hoping I could change his mind and not make this confrontational. I had a bad feeling. It didn't work. I asked him to leave. I told him I couldn't do it anymore and I needed him to leave my house. Now. He said no. "Where am I supposed to go at this time of night? What am I supposed to tell people? What am I going to do with Brutus?' I offered a few suggestions. He told me no again and he wasn't going to talk to me until I had my emotions under control. So I got up and walked to the door where his keys were. I started taking his key off the ring. And then my world changed.

I didn't even hear him come up behind me. His arms went around me and he reached for the keys. I instinctively closed my hand around them and my fingers went into the rings. I held my arms in tight knowing it would be harder to do anything if they were close to me. I have no idea how long we struggled while standing before I was thrown to the ground and he was back on top of me. My head was mashed horribly up against the wall, but my eyes were closed. I was just concentrating on trying to find a way out from underneath him. He easily had 80 lbs on me. I used to wrestle with Em some, but that was playful. This was definitely not. I wiggled, but I couldn't move. Things started to get slower. I thought it was adrenaline then I realized my vision wasn't as sharp. I tried to breath and couldn't. There was an arm in front of me. I followed it with my eyes. It was the arm holding the keys. He was that desperate to stay that he was going to kill me?!? When I started seeing spots I realized I had 2 options. 1) wiggle free finally, so I tried again. It didn't work at all. Or 2) Bite down. So I did. He groaned and shifted. I was able to move some but not enough. So I bit down again. Harder. I knew it was going to leave a mark but not enough to take skin off unfortunately. I stood up.

My hair had been ripped out of the bun it had been in. my shoes had been ripped off and my hoodie was halfway off my body. I pulled it back and reached for my phone. It wasn't there. I looked around everywhere for it and finally spotted it half under the couch. I grabbed it and hopped over the couch to run down the hall to the sanctuary of locking doors. I had 2 options. Bedroom or bathroom. I chose bedroom. It was much larger and I had a better chance of getting service. Tegan slipped in with me. I barely saw her. She hid in the corner with me as I shakily dialed 911.

"9-1-1, what is your emergency?"

"Yeah, I, Um, I need someone to come help me." I sobbed into the phone. "I don't have great reception, I might lose you. I'm locked in the bedroom. My boyfriend, now ex, just attacked me." I rattled off the address.

"Ma'am. I need you to try and take some deep breaths for me." I tried, but I'll be damned if it worked. "Is he still in the apartment with you?"

"He was when I ran in here. I don't know about now. Wait, I can hear him."

"OK, I want you to stay on the line. Is this your number?" She rattled off the number for me. "Yes."

"It's quiet out there. I can't tell if he's here or not."

"OK, Officers are pulling into your complex right now. I'll let you know when they get there."

"OK, can you let them know I have a dog. She's in here with me. She's only a puppy, but she'll probably bark."

"I'll let them know. OK Ma'am, do you heard that knocking?" I listened.

"Yes"

"Those are the officers. They say the door's locked. Can you go let them in?"

"What if he's still here?"

"Stay on the phone with me, if he's still there I'll send them in."

"OK" I tiptoed to the door, Tegan on my heels. I listened. Nothing. So I ran down the hallway and opened the front door. I have never in my life been so excited to see 2 guns in my life.

"OK" I said into the phone.

"Alright Ma'am, I'm going to leave you with the officers now."

"Thank you, goodnight." I didn't even realize what I was saying, I just closed my phone. I went to put Tegan in her Kennel as one of the officers when to go search the rest of the small apartment. I looked around at the place. A table was overturned. Books and DVDs strewn about and the bowl that used to have keys by the door was shattered and its contents were everywhere.

"Ma'am, do you have family in town?"

"My best friend was waiting for a call. My bags were packed in the car. We knew he wasn't going to react well to me asking him to leave. I need to call her." So I did. Then I called my parents. They started the long drive in.

That night started my 6 month ordeal with cops and courtrooms that left me without a restraining order

***

::Crash::

"Hey sweetie, what happened? You have the worst luck with glass." Said a smooth voice from my other side. "Hey Sam, can you give me the first aid kit, I'm gonna take the girls here into the backroom and take care of my girl's hands." The bartender reached down and grabbed a blue plastic box with the typical red cross on it and handed it over to a guy over my left shoulder who was a little over 6 feet tall. Alice was on the other side of him.

"Your girl?" said the man on my right. "Who the fuck are you?" he spat angrily.

"HAHA, dude, all that matters right now is that you leave and leave these two alone. Or, do you see that scary lookin dude at the door. He might just make mince-meat out of your ass. We've got it from here. Thanks for keeping her company while I was in the back." Mr. Pick-up line glared daggers at Mr. Big-Man but reluctantly threw back the rest of his drink and left. I slowly looked down at my hands and realized there was blood. Shit, not good.

"Bella, stay with me." I could hear Alice. And then it was black.