Off the Record
Ch. 1 – What did he see?
Silence filled the elevator, suffocated its occupants. Tony made some comment that she did not quite hear, and then the doors were open. Too fast. And they all walked into more silence that quickly erupted into a loud cacophony of clapping. Ziva froze. The shock of the last few months quickly advanced on her current position, and she wanted to hide. Then she was. To her surprise, Abby's arms wrapped around her food-deprived body, and she felt safe, hidden from view. Someone walked from behind her, and as he walked to and settled behind his desk, Ziva could not stop staring. She quickly realized that he stared right back. She wondered, "What did he see?"
She felt his hand on the small of her back guiding her, before she heard Gibbs' voice whispering into her ear, "We need to write your report." She fell in line, letting him guide her, the obedient soldier, the dutiful daughter.
Too soon, she found herself in Interrogation 1. Under different circumstances, she would be offended, but not now, not under these. Looking at her reflection in the two-way mirror, she was startled by what she saw, the dirt, the bruises. Suddenly, she thought she felt his eyes watching her through the glass, and again she wondered to herself, "What did he see?"
She jumped a bit when the door to her left opened. Gibbs entered carrying a glass of water, a pen, and a notepad. "Just write it all down," he said softly, not explaining to her what "it" was, knowing that she already knew.
How long she took, she did not know, there were no clocks in the interrogation rooms of NCIS, but when she had filled ten pages front and back and finished her glass of water, she addressed the empty room with more certainty than she felt, "Done."
Tony walked in a minute later; he silently took the notepad from her and turned towards the door. "Are you coming?" he added over his shoulder as he exited the room.
Ziva quickly followed behind, but with her confidence shaken, she did not know what to say; she followed in silence. As they walked, she studied him. His stride remained unbroken, one arm lay in a sling, but the other hung freely at his side. No serious injury, she deduced, and was the gladder for it.
Once they reached the bullpen, Tony stopped and turned to face her, and there they all were, her family. Some looked happy, others relieved, and others she could not read. She decided not to look them in the face, too afraid of what she would see, too afraid of what they would see in her. She watched as Tony passed her notepad to Gibbs, who only briefly glanced at it before asking, "So, where are you going to stay tonight?"
"What do you mean?" Ziva had not thought about this. She had thought about many things since being literally rescued, but this thought had not come up.
"Ziva it's late. You look tired," Gibbs explained.
"Yeah, and you may have forgotten, but your apartment exploded before you left for Israel," McGee added, trying to put it as nicely as possible, only realizing after he said it that Ziva had probably not forgotten it.
"Ziva can stay with me," Abby chimed in clearly excited.
Ziva felt brain dead, as if the terrorists had killed the decision-making processes in her brain. Her eyes remained trained on the floor, not wanting to show them her fear. She did not know if they expected her to respond. Was there a choice? Tony's eyes held in her place; she could not see them but she felt them. They had not left her face since the discussion began.
Gibbs realized after a few moments of silence that Ziva was not going to make the decision. "Sounds great, Abby. Do you need a ride?"
"No, Gibbs. I got this," she said with a smile. Stepping forward and linking arms with Ziva, Abby began to lead her towards the elevator.
Ziva's eyes finally rose as she walked past Tony, who still stared. She really did want to know, what did he see?