A/N: Well…since I finally have some free time now to write it figures I would run into a brick wall in the shape of writer's block when I tried to figure out how to put the next part of Chronicles of the Meh into words. So the only decent (in my disturbed mind) ideas I could come up with were for either an Eva SI or a Halo SI. I chose the series I would disgrace the least. Hopefully, writing this will help me plow through the writer's block and keep going with my other story.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Gainax! I'm gonna have to switch assassins. Send an email if you have any recommendations.

Caution: There WILL be profanities – You've been warned. Oh yeah, it's an SI too. Yeah, I'm sorry too.

Speech.

Thought.

Thoughts of another.

-Phone/Similar-

Chapter 1: Look! I Can Fly!

"Goddammit! Fired! They fire me of all the fucking people there; and after that bastard hired his WIFE to work there. HIS FUCKING WIFE! Could it get any worse?"

In case you're wondering who the one screaming obscenities is, that's me. Now, I'm not usually like this but I just got laid off from a job I put up with a lot of shit from and a shit-for-brains manager with the IQ of a grape fruit. Anyway, back to the story.

"Guess I'll watch Evangelion again this weekend. Maybe that'll distract me 'til classes at Southeast next Monday."

After I got home I just showered and went to bed. The weekend went pretty much as I planned: watching Evangelion and trying not to go burn down my place of former employment.

When I got to Southeast I realized there was an hour until my Intro to Psych class so I tried to catch a few winks on the couch in the commons area. Surprisingly I didn't notice the guys that were watching me, waiting for the moment I fell asleep.

A short while later I opened my eyes to a strange sight. Huh. The ceiling's moving, that's weird. Wait…the ceiling's moving? That's just stupid, why the hell would it be moving?

That was when my brain fully woke up and I realized I was being carried by two familiar looking guys. These are the assholes I used to outsmart all the time in high school. What the hell are they doing here, last I heard the damned racists were sent to jail for assaulting a black kid. I guess it doesn't help I testified at the trial. Damn, could it get any worse?

"What the fuck are you two doing?" I demanded.

"Whadda ya think, we're getting rid of your rat ass as thanks for the time in jail," replied the leader, I think his name was Roy.

"Yeah, we're gonna get you good fucker," added…what the hell was his name…James, that's it.

That was when I realized it, they were gonna fucking kill me and I intended to prevent that at all costs. I started struggling but lost almost all hope when I noticed my legs and arms were all bound by rope and tied into some screwed up knot.

"Give it up; you're not gettin outta the rope," snickered Roy

I took a big breath in preparation to yell for help but Roy realized what I was about to do so he punched me as hard as he could in the jaw. Fuck, I think he broke my jaw.

"That'll teach you to keep your goddamn mouth shut not that it'll do ya much good now," laughed Roy.

After about a minute they stopped and showed me where I had been brought –the top of the hill where the stairs to the student parking lot are. They were gonna throw down the stairs; that was 100 fucking feet of stair dammit! I started fighting with everything I had to keep from being thrown to my imminent and obviously very painful and, in all likeliness, slow death.

"On the count of three James," ordered Roy.

"Okay, boss," replied James.

"1…" they began in unison.

"2…"

"3…"

"THROW!"

Okay, I'll admit it. I kinda screamed when they threw me but, hell, who wouldn't? I mean it was hard enough with the probably broken jaw but I was scared shitless and had just been thrown fifteen feet to the beginning of my imminent death. Shit. The first thing that happened when I hit the first time was the seemingly horrifically loud sound of my neck breaking after I landed on it followed by the sudden inability to feel anything but my head. The second time I hit, about 10 feet farther down I got to see my left arm break in about three places before my head smashed into one of the concrete steps. After that everything was kind of blurry, you know, with the head trauma and all.

When I had finally reached the bottom I rolled a few meters before coming to rest against the bumper of some schmuck's car. I managed to stay conscious long enough to see how truly hard the stairs had fucked me. I had a broken neck, in two places no less, both arms and legs broken in several places, I'm not sure because of the paralyzation but I think I heard all of my ribs break and what was most likely my sternum cracking. I labored a breath and mentally cringed from the rattling sound it produced in my chest.

That sure as hell isn't very good.

I didn't have to worry about that long though, I was quickly starting to lose consciousness and my vision was already blurred beyond all recognition. After a few seconds I left alone with only darkness to "see"; silent, damning silence. My thoughts wandered to my family and friends and began to do something I hadn't done in years and didn't plan on doing if at all possible. I began to cry. I cried and cried there in the darkness and no matter how much I tried to will myself to stop I wouldn't. I was never going to see my any of my loved ones again. I was never going to graduate from college and start life on my own. I would never find my one true love, marry her, and have kids. My life was over and there was nothing I could do about it.

Or is there?

What? Who's there?!

Your one chance at redemption, young one.

Redemption? For what? I've lived alright for 19 years haven't I?

You've sinned quite a bit in your short life.

I'll admit it, I've done wrong but it's been nowhere near what those two fascists have done!

True, young one. That is why you're being given this chance at redemption. You've done enough good in your years here to at least net you another chance at life, albeit not here.

'Not here.' What's that supposed to mean?

Simple; you'll have another chance at life in a different world, an alternate reality if you will.

So I'll never see the people I love again?

I'm afraid not young one. However, you will have far more opportunities to change the world like you've always wanted in this new life I am offering to you.

I don't know…

You must make a decision quickly, young one. If your soul passes on it will be too late.

Okay. Fine, do it! Take me to this second chance at life! I'm ready!

Good. I wish you luck young one. Trust your instincts and follow your heart and you will prevail.

Wait!

Yes, young one?

Who are you?

Don't be stupid, you figured that out long ago; I'm God.

Holy shit.

Indeed.

There was a blazingly bright flash of white light and then I had the largest headache ever imagined.

To Be Continued…

A/N: whew Did it in one sitting. And yes, I purposefully ended it on a cliffhanger. I'm looking at Chapter 2 being out in about…oh 5 days. I feel ood about this one.

Peace,

-J