I loved and I loved and I lost you
And it hurts like hell
Yeah it hurts like hell

Fleurie – Hurts Like Hell

Edolas had been quite an adventure, not that Lucy could really complain as every day was an adventure with Fairy Tail. Edolas, though, was her favorite thus far because seeing Edo-Lucy and Edo-Natsu gave her hope that maybe her own feelings for her Natsu would be returned. However the end of their Edolas adventure brought her suffering due to one white haired mage, and Lucy knew it wasn't the girl's fault by any means, and Lucy tried her best to be understanding and hide how much she missed her friends at times. Lisanna was home, and every guild member who had known her wanted their time with her to catch up. Lucy hadn't been there when Lisanna was so, of course, she got left out, and by no means was she the only one. Everyone who joined after Lisanna's death kind of got pushed to the side and even Gajeel seemed to be understanding of it, but Lucy seemed to notice she got it the worst. Gajeel was always right up in guild fights making his presence known, and with him was Pantherlily, Wendy was a healer and eventually, someone would need her help, Carla could predict the future to some extent, and Juvia was hard to miss with her stalking of Grey. Lucy was just, well, Lucy. She didn't stand out like the others and in comparison, she felt weak, of lesser importance. So Lucy did what she felt best, she summoned Loke so he could partake in the merriment and smiled her best as days turned to weeks of being overlooked.

By the third week after their return from the other world Lucy stopped smiling unless someone directly spoke to her, she still came to the guild every day, but she'd simply watch her family as they laughed and joked with one another. She still summoned Loke when she arrived so he could join in, but she would just sit at the bar and watch until just after noon before leaving again without closing Loke's gate. Some days she'd shop, others she'd walk around the town until late and go home for a quick supper and bed. On the first day of the fourth week the landlady stopped Lucy on her way out to remind the blond that rent would be due soon, with a smile and a nod Lucy headed to the guild with the intent to ask Team Natsu if they were up for a mission, after all, she couldn't be the only one in need of money at the moment, it had been a while since any of them took a mission.

Lucy's plan, however, did not go as intended, when she arrived at the guild Natsu had his arm wrapped around Lisanna's waist, and the silver haired mage had her lips pressed against his cheek. They looked like such a happy couple and Lucy smiled at them, even as her heart felt like it was breaking. She still smiled while Natsu announced that he was going on a mission with Lisanna and the team, she was already back out the doors like she'd never been there at all by the time he asked where Lucy was so he could tell her where to meet up.

Lucy's POV

I can't help it as tears start to slip past my careful mask of happiness, I turn around and leave right back out the doorway I'd just entered. I'm happy for them, I am, at least I want to be, they deserve happiness after all. I know that it's silly but looking about on the past few weeks I can't help but wonder if I wasn't just some replacement in Natsu's life for the hole Lisanna had left. I know I'm not the strongest mage and I complain a lot, but I thought I meant something to the others, and yet as soon as she shows up I'm overlooked. I shouldn't be upset over this, I mean if my mother showed up some how not dead I'd forget anything else too, but I can't help it.

I let my legs carry me away from the guild, no clear destination in mind, I just knew I didn't want to go home to my apartment full of memories of a team I no longer had. I almost smiled when it began to rain as I walked, I found myself wondering if it was Juvia's doing. Would Juvia declare Lisanna her love rival beings the silver beauty would be joining the same team as Grey? I shake my head, I don't want to think about that right now. I stop walking when I realize I've made it the cliff over looking the city and just take in the sights. From up here, you can just barely see all the people as they bustle around the busy streets, some with umbrellas others with out. It was times like this I wish I was an artist or a photographer, feeling like no matter what words I used I couldn't do justice to the sight before my eyes. The light gray of the sky as it hung over the city like a backdrop, the stark contrast of the light colored guild hall standing taller than the other darker colored buildings of the town, the umbrellas of townspeople bright colored blobs in the otherwise drab image, the flash of a smile on a girl on the edge of town as she spins in circles enjoying the feel of the rain on her skin. I wiped my eyes of rain and tears, forcing my face to match the spinning girl's in a smile. Seeing the town like this showed me that even though I am sad, and my heart is broken, life goes on. In that moment of realization, I made up my mind on what I'd do.

I summoned Virgo with a quick flick of her key and smiled genuinely at her when she appeared, I didn't bother to wait for her usual greeting of asking for punishment to wrap my arms around her in a tight hug, and for the first time since I'd obtained her key she face held a look of surprise. "Will you help me train to get stronger?" I ask her eager for her answer.

It took the pink haired spirit a few moments to morph her face back into its usual blank look "Of course princess, it would be my honor as your spirit to train you, any of us would gladly help you need only ask"

I nod "I'll keep that in mind, I'd like to go on a trip while I train, a change of scenery, but I don't want to have to go back to my apartment, it leaves a sour taste in my mouth right now, could you go and get the essentials for me while I talk to Loke?" an understanding look flashed across Virgo's face as she nodded and vanished. I touch my hand to Loke's key "I know you're listening, you might as well come out now" I say teasingly and wait while a flash of light brings forth my faithful lion spirit. I pull his key off my key ring as he comes forward to wrap his arm around my shoulders with an eyebrow raised questioningly. I open my hand letting the key rest in my palm "You belong to Fairy Tail as much as your key belongs to me, I can't ask you to leave your family just because I can't handle something at the guild" I begin than sigh "I don't want to make you choose, they were your family first and I don't know how long it will be before I'm ready to come back and face the guild without betraying my emotions, so take your key Loke-" he starts shaking his head before I even finish and brings his hand up to push my hand closed around his golden key, but he doesn't speak letting me finish "I want you to be happy Loke, and if Fairy Tail makes you happy then you should be there" I finish.

He smiles, his hand still wrapped around mine "Lucy, you are my master, you can't get rid of me that easy. Besides you plan to return at some point right?" he pauses and waits for me to nod before continuing "then that's enough for me, besides even if you are gone three months that's only a day in the spirit world"

I nod at his logic pulling my hand from his to reattach his key to my pouch "Will you do the honors of letting the master know what I'm doing? I don't want him to worry about me" I ask looking him in the eye, he leans forward and kisses my forehead so lightly I almost question if I really felt his lips on my skin and just like that he's removed himself from my person with a quick wave over his shoulder as he heads toward the bustling town. Once he is out of sight I reach for another key calling Cancer and asking him to cut my hair, another way to distance myself from the me of the current moment. I kept his visit short trying to preserve my magic for Loke and Virgo, as soon as he finishes cropping my hair to shoulder length I send him back and take residence beneath a tree on the edge of Magnolia's forest and wait for my spirits return.

AN: Just over 1600 words wow so um hi, I was supposed to upload this about 10 days ago? Sorry? Life sorta happened and I wasn't set on uploading this story, I kept trying to write and it just wasn't working out (so now I have more things to fix up and post lol) Anyway double chapter post for to make up for it