"Jane! You made it!" Casey yelled at me as I walked into the concrete construction site.
"Yeah! What is this place?" I shouted back. The volume of my voice was necessary to top the heavy beat coming from the amps of the guitars that were no more than twenty feet away from where we stood.
"I think it's going to be a bank or something in 2010. We sure are going to teach these accountants how to party!" He laughed and I smiled too. "Here. Have a drink." He handed me a red plastic cup. I lifted it and breathed in deep. I couldn't identify the sent so something told me it came from a punch bowl filled with whatever alcohol kids were able to swipe from their parents' liquor cabinets, but it did smell strong. I took a cautious sip; yep definitely strong.
A tall blonde came up and snaked her arms around Casey's broad chest, whispering something in his ear. A sly grin spread across his face. "See ya later, Jane! Enjoy the party!" He yelled just before taking off with the blonde, for the back seat of a beat up Toyota I'm sure.
I chuckled to myself as I began to wander around the rest of the party. By now I had finished my drink so I was looking for the rest of the boozes.
"This what you're looking for?" I heard a voice say from behind me.
I spun around to see a tall figure holding a bottle of tequila. "What do you want, Tony?"
"Do you want a drink?" He asked me, ignoring my question and answering with his own.
"What are you doing?" I asked, getting annoyed now.
"Offering you a drink. I thought that was pretty clear." A smile spread across his face.
"I can't do this dance with you anymore, Tony." I sighed, my tone still dripping in annoyance.
"Jane, there is something here, between us. Don't you feel it?" He took a step closer to me. "Don't fight it. Just listen to the music. You know the steps." He was now whispering in my ear.
I grabbed the tequila from his hand and took a shot, but instead of placing the bottle back I laced my own fingers with his. I began to pull him away from the party and towards the parking lot. "You know I'm only doing this because the sex is good."
Tony chuckled. "Yeah we did always do that well."
************************************************************************
I glanced down at my watch before I stuck my key in the door. 3:07 a.m.
I slid into the kitchen and started for the stairs.
"Where have you been?" I jumped as my heart skipped a beat.
"Around," I stated as I spun to see my parents sitting at the kitchen table.
"Damnit, Jane!" My mother shouted. My father placed a calming hand on her shoulder.
"Where were you, Jane?" my father asked. I could see the worry in his eyes.
I sighed. "I was at a party."
"Do you think it's okay to just come waltzing in at three O' clock in the morning after you have been partying all night?" The anger in my mom's tone was growing.
"Don't act like you care! I know you don't!"
"You're throwing your life away!" She stood up and took a step towards me. My dad remained seated as the pain in his eyes grew.
"It's my life to throw."
"Maybe so, but Theo's wasn't." I winced at that comment as did my father.
We all stood in silence for a minute before my father broke it. "Why don't you just go get some sleep, Jane?"
I only nodded my head before I proceeded to walk up the stairs and down the hallway, past the door that hadn't been opened in a year, and to the red door that stood tall with happy memories.
I walked through, not allowing myself to remember the happy times, not yet. I snatched the notebook and a pen off of my desk and slumped onto the floor.
Dear Teddy,
Today was the last day of school. I only have one more year and then I can get out. I can't stay in this town much longer. I need to be somewhere bigger. 3,000 people is just a little too small if you ask me. Plus this town makes me think about things that I don't want on my mind. I think I'm going to go to New York. I can apply to NYU. They have a great journalism program. I think you would really love it. I can get my degree and keep going. I can see the world; never staying in one place for too long and staying everywhere. Rome, Tokyo, Paris; you name it. I can't be the girl behind the red door anymore.
I closed my eyes after I wrote that last sentence, finally letting the memory I had pushed away replay in my head.
"Teddy, I want a white house when I grow up."
"Why would you want a white one? It's gonna get dirty." Theo said from his spot on the floor, where he was laying on his stomach playing with his race cars.
"No it won't! I'll keep it clean!" I almost shouted defensively. My house would always be spotless.
"Sure, sure."
"I will. And I want a swing hanging from a big oak tree in the front yard and I want a red door."
"A red door?" He looked up at me.
"Yes. Apple red. Like this," I said, showing him my drawing.
"I can help with that." He smiled as he jumped to his feet and grabbed my hand, pulling me with him.
"Where are we going?" I laughed.
"The garage," he stated.
"Because…"
"You'll see!" He sang.
We made our way out to the garage behind the house. I stood inside as Theo began rummaging through boxes and cabinets until I heard a triumphant "Ah ha!"
"What did you find?" I asked him as he pulled himself out of a large stack of boxes.
"This." He held up a paint can for me to see. "I knew there was still some left from when Dad helped me paint my boxcar last year."
"What are we going to do with it?" I asked, confused.
"We are going to make you the girl behind the red door."
I snapped out of the past and back into the present. I shook my head trying to clear all pieces of the memory from my brain. I looked back down at the letter in my lap and picked up the pen to finish it.
I miss you, Teddy. And I'm sorry.
Love, Janie
I ripped the page out of the notebook and folded it up. It slid into the envelope easily and I slid my tongue along the seal. I flipped the letter over to address it. I wrote the six words that I had written so many times before.
The Second Star to the Right
Those words filled my head with more memories, but if I wanted to get any sleep tonight I had to push them aside.
I raised myself off the floor and stepped into my closet. I pulled the shoebox out from behind my sweaters and slid the letter inside with the rest.
I placed the box back in its hiding spot before I slipped off my jeans and t-shirt. I stepped into the old sweatpants that were on the floor of my closet and yanked a clean tank top of the shelf.
As I was walking back toward my bed I heard a knock at the door. I made no move for the knob.
"Jane, can I come in?" I heard my father's voice from the other side.
"I guess." As long as Mom's not with you, I added in my head. I figured he wouldn't appreciate that comment very much.
He stepped through the now open door. "How are you doing?"
"Fine," I lied.
He stared at me for a minute before sighing. "Jane, I need to tell you something."
"Ok…" I motioned for him to go on.
"I talked to your mother," He paused as I sighed and dropped my head into my hands. "We talked and we decided that it would be best for you if you didn't stay here anymore."
"What? So you're kicking me out?" I wanted to leave, but I didn't want to become a high school drop out.
"Of course not! We just think that it would be good for you to get out Redwood."
"So where am I going?" I asked, getting more confused by the second.
"We are sending you up to La Push to live with your cousin Sam." He looked at me sympathetically.
"We? Don't you mean mom? She's the one who wants me gone."
"Jane, this could be a great opportunity for you. You can get away from your past and memories here." He ignored my comment. I let it slide this time.
"She just wants me to get away from my present." I stood, starring him straight in the eyes.
He looked back at me and sighed. "I'm sorry, Jane," he said just above a whisper.
"Yeah…" My eyes drifted to the floor.
He took a step forward and kissed my head. "You leave on Tuesday."