a/n: i've been posting this on ao3, but thought i'd also post it here in case anyone wants to read.
x
"Christ, Kara," Lena says, standing up behind her desk and nearly knocking her chair backwards. Her big green eyes are wide and way more concerned than they need to be when she asks, "Are you okay?"
Honestly, Kara's a little banged up, but she's perfectly fine.
Maybe she's lost her powers for a few days, which is unfortunate, but Lena is definitely overreacting.
Except that, that makes it seem like Lena actually knows she has powers, or that Lena knows she solar-flared last night and that it's only temporary. But no—Kara's pretty sure the only thing Lena knows is that her best friend is standing awkwardly in her office, slightly more disheveled than usual with a purpling bruise around her eye.
The true story actually isn't that complicated to explain—the DEO caught wind of a break-in at an L-Corp storage warehouse, and Kara showed up to an ambush of highly skilled soldiers wielding guns that could actually knock the wind out of her. Which was a bit odd, to be honest, since she's fought against a lot of weaponry before, but this was way beyond anything she'd ever encountered and the soldiers seemed to know just how exploit her weaknesses. Which, unfortunately, resulted in her solar-flaring during the fight right before the DEO agents got there as back-up.
Now she's going through the subsequent days of solar recharging, but that doesn't mean she can't still do her job as a reporter.
Which is why she's here, to get information from Lena.
A simple excuse for a simple issue, but she can't really tell Lena any of that, so she says, "It's nothing. There was just this guy on the bus and I—"
"A guy hit you?" Lena asks, alarmed, and moves around her desk faster than even Kara can move when her solar energy isn't depleted. This already feels like a mistake. "What does he look like?"
"Wait, no—sorry. I just meant I hit him, with my eye," Kara explains, and laughs a little to highlight how non-serious of a situation this is. Which doesn't seem to be working, since Lena's looking her over like she's mentally going through some sort of wellness checklist. "I mean, like, I tripped into his elbow when the bus hit a curb. It was innocent, honest."
"Okay," Lena says slowly, and then stays silent for a while, bright eyes focused intensely on Kara in an alarmingly attractive way. Everything about her is alarmingly attractive today, from her perfectly styled hair to her designer blouse and pencil skirt, to the way she's pressing her beautiful lips together and absolutely distracting Kara from everything she's trying to do here.
It wasn't long ago that Kara would get side-tracked mentally comparing Lena to things like the Northern Lights (rare and breath-taking), but now she's mostly settled on Lena being unfairly gorgeous - a distinction that hasn't really helped her focus any better when she's in Lena's presence, a distinction that has done absolutely nothing for the way Kara's heart flutters every time Lena blinks her lashes.
"I don't think I like you taking the bus," Lena finally decides, "I'm teaching you how to drive."
"That's ridiculous," Kara says immediately, folding her arms across her chest. "I can usually fly... er, uh, here on the bus because I don't have to worry about parking." She's been a superhero for years now, and she's still as smooth as gravel when it comes to keeping her powers a secret. "You don't have to waste the time."
Thankfully, Lena doesn't catch on. She never seems to catch on. "I'm clearing my schedule so I'll be free after tomorrow. It's non-negotiable."
Kara wants to argue but Lena's close and she's beautiful, and she's making that face like her mind is already made up and there isn't a single thing that Kara can do about it. So, it's probably useless to argue and Kara doesn't really want to, not with her, not when they already spend so much time at odds with each other when she's Supergirl.
Besides, Kara's got a job to do - one that involves learning about the break-in so she can maybe get the DEO's first solid lead on this case.
"Okay, okay. That's fine," Kara says, grinning despite her nerves creeping up. Maybe her mind's stuttering a bit between this is a terrible idea and I'd do anything to be close to Lena. "So, there was a break-in at an L-Corp warehouse on the edge of the city. Wondering what exactly was stored there, and why someone would want to take it?"
"Glad to hear you're on board," Lena says, and then she turns and walks back toward her desk. Kara follows her. "The DEA updated its new chemical ban list to accommodate the components of dangerous alien-introduced drugs. L-Corp was storing its banned chemicals in an off-site warehouse to comply with regulations, while we filed a proposal for an exception. Some of those chemicals are valuable to my research."
"So the move was anticipated," Kara says, fumbling her reporter notepad, and trying to compose herself before Lena turns back around. "Do you think this was an inside job?"
"Are you asking if someone in my corporation was involved..." Lena asks as she turns around and tilts her head. Kara can feel her heart pumping because she knows what comes next and she hates that she has to ask Lena these questions. "...or are you asking if I staged a break-in to make it appear to the DEA that I no longer have those chemicals?"
"Both, actually. Sorry, I just. Objective reporting, I have to ask."
"No, that's fine." Lena folds her arms, and she's smiling, but Kara still feels a bit like an asshole. She gets the whole objective reporting thing, but it's hard. "Part of the proposal involves my ability to keep the chemicals secure. This public break-in effectively shoots down my chances of approval. Whether or not I use them, I'd need that approval to ever publish any of my research involving the chemicals."
Kara nods immediately, smiling. "Right, that's what I thought. Um, I should get going, but driving lessons?"
Lena laughs. "Yes, I'll text you where."
x
"I'm thinking intergalactic drug smuggling, or maybe just earthly drug smuggling — either way, the chemicals are used for drugs."
Alex nods slowly, obviously thinking over the information. "Drugs, or whatever the hell Lena is using them for. She's been known to manufacture a dangerous thing or two with dangerous chemicals."
"Yeah, but it's too much of a coincidence," Kara deflects. She hates when they suspect Lena of wrongdoing and she has to betray Lena either as Supergirl or Kara. She just wants her to be innocent so they can get along. "A huge heist like this just as these particular chemicals go on a drug ban-list. I'd put my money on the drugs."
"Yes, but let's keep a close eye on Lena for the time being."
"Should be easy enough," Kara says, and for some reason she's positively beaming. "Lena's teaching me how to drive day after tomorrow."
Alex just glares at her across the countertop. "No way, not a good idea."
"She said it's non-negotiable, Alex. I'm pretty sure that means I can't negotiate."
"Since when has something ever been non-negotiable for Kara Danvers?" Alex asks, and she has a point.
Kara pretty much does what she wants, when she wants, and she doesn't like when people try to stop her. But this is Lena. She's pretty sure she'd do what Lena wants, when Lena wants — and also wouldn't like if anyone tried to stop her from doing that. Which is maybe problematic, but she doesn't want to think about it.
"I don't know, I mean." Kara shrugs her shoulders up to her ears. "Eliza never taught me to drive, said it was too dangerous. And I am in better control of my powers now, so it's always good to learn."
"Except the day after tomorrow you should just be getting your powers back. You sure you're ready to be trapped in a car, just when you're getting back your ability to fly."
"I'm sure it'll be fine," Kara says, and Alex smiles with half her mouth like she's on to something. Kara hates when she does that. She's usually right, and it's usually awkward. "Don't look at me that way, just finish mixing the batter."
"I don't know why we decided to make cake, we suck at this. But also, you like her."
"Of course I like her, we're friends," Kara says, rolling her eyes for effect. "Friends like each other. That's a thing. It's fine."
Alex picks up her wine glass and smiles into it, guess they've officially given up on the cake. "You have other friends and you definitely don't let them tell you what to do. I'm just—"
"Wrong," Kara cuts in. "You're just wrong about this whole thing. Lena and I are best friends, and it's going to stay that way."
Except.
So, maybe Kara doesn't actually want it to stay that way, not really. The thing is, right from the beginning she felt a strong connection with Lena. There was something about her that felt compelling and interesting, and it just sucked Kara right in like a vortex she couldn't escape from. She's loved Lena for a long time now, as her best friend, but recently it's felt like more than that. Kara's started to have feelings for Lena that no longer fall in the just friends category—she's started to love Lena in a way that isn't just platonic.
And she keeps noticing how attractive Lena is, and she keeps getting distracted by her, and she keeps thinking about her in the middle of the day when she should be focusing on other things. And, most importantly, she keeps finding it harder and harder to manage her job and their friendship whenever Lena is involved with a case.
So Alex is right, she's undeniably right, but it'll be a cold day in hell before she admits that to her. Which is perfectly fine, since it'll probably be a cold day in hell before her and Lena end up together.
Superhero or not, Kara's out of her league with this one.
She picks up the spoon from the batter and licks it, always good at eating away her feelings. "Either way, the lessons will be good for intel."
"Stop that," Alex says, grabbing the spoon from her hand and shoving it back in the bowl. "There're raw eggs in that, you can't eat it."
"Superhuman, remember?" Kara waves her hand for emphasis and Alex sighs heavily.
"Superhuman during a solar-flare, remember? You can actually die you idiot."
Right, she forgot how vulnerable she is without her powers.
x
Which is exactly how she feels when she meets up with Lena for their first driving lesson (even though she has her powers back, even though she's wearing her favorite light blue-polkadot shirt and gray slacks, even though she's hung out with Lena a hundred times and this should be no big deal).
It's just - being in a car, they're pretty much close close close, and Kara's opposed to doing most things that'll potentially make her look like an idiot in front of Lena. It's not like she's always striving to impress her, but she'd at least like to remain some degree of desirable.
So her hands are jittery two seconds into them being in the lot, and all they're doing is sitting in the car without it started. Thank Rao for the steering wheel and the stability it offers.
"Wearing make-up?" Lena asks and Kara shakes her head as she pulls it back in that dumb way that makes it look like she has a thousand chins. "Oh, because your eye is completely healed."
Oh. "I iced it," Kara says quickly. "My family has really great, um, healing genes. We just heal right up, always have."
"Oh, sure. Okay." Lena smiles at her, warm and affectionate (maybe not affectionate, maybe that's wishful thinking). "Let's get started, then. I picked a big lot that we'll be alone in. Just need to get you warmed up since it's your first time."
"Yeah, sounds good." Kara doesn't have a dirty mind, she's not a teenage boy. But something about Lena warming her up makes her swallow hard. "Always wanted to learn, you know?"
"Yeah, it'll be fun," Lena smiles. "You'll get the hang of it in no time."
Right. It's just a car, and it's just Lena. Kara can do this. At least that's what she tells herself, and then she twists the key in the ignition and presses the gas pedal, and the car makes a terrible, awful sound that makes her freeze up. This is supposed to be the easy part, and somehow it went sideways. Maybe she can't do this.
Kara feels a little bashful right now, won't even let herself look in Lena's direction. Not being able to drive is one thing, but not being able to get the car started up and moving makes her pretty dumb. Or, at least that's how she feels.
Lena just laughs it off and shakes her head, though. "It's alright, I'll walk you through it. The left-most pedal is the clutch. You need to put your left foot there and your right foot on the brake — that's the largest pedal. Once you've done that, release the emergency brake and then start the car."
Left foot clutch, right foot brake. Okay, seems easy enough. Kara gets her feet in place, and then — crap. What's the emergency brake. "Um, I don't—
"Right here," Lena says, grabbing her hand to guide it there. Then she guides it to the gear shift after Kara starts the car. "Now shift it left and up so it's in first gear. After that, you want to take your foot off the clutch as you put your other on the gas."
Alright, first gear. Foot off the clutch, other on the gas. The instructions seem simple, there's only like three steps, except when Kara does it (correctly, she does it just like Lena said) the car lurches forward and she can't figure out where she messed up.
"Sorry, thought I had it right," she says, shrinking into her seat praying she might just disappear into it altogether. Alex does this all the time and she makes it seem so simple, why is it the hardest thing in the world. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong."
"Just take your time. It takes practice." Lena says, patient as anything, and then she blinks her very pretty lashes and adds, "You got this."
Right, Kara's got this. She fights aliens and jumps head-first through portals that shoot her off into space. She can master driving a car, can't be that hard if so many people can do it.
In fact, she can do it, she proves a few minutes later. Things start to go relatively smoothly from there. She gets through gear-shifting just fine after she gets the first bit down, and she even adjusts to being in the car with Lena, isn't awkward and nervous, and doesn't say anything dumb the entire time or accidentally offend Lena with DEO questions. She has a really great and productive ten minutes of driving, and then Lena gets them into fifth gear and decides the lesson should switch to them learning how to slow down.
Kara's first instinct is to hit the brakes, but Lena says, "We're going to shift back down into neutral, I'll walk you through it."
And it seems easy when Lena says it, but Kara knows it isn't that simple. Slowing down is even worse than speeding up. Speeding up isn't dangerous. Not being able to slow down is dangerous. And now Kara's tensing up again, which is dumb because she's freaking Supergirl and she's being defeated by a simple car.
Somehow — despite the fact that minutes ago Kara didn't even know how to start the car — Lena still looks lovely and beautiful and calm — remarkably calm, even though they're going 45 miles per hour in an empty lot and Kara can't even remember what the third pedal is called to ask if she needs to use it.
"Right foot off the brake, left foot on the clutch," Lena says, like she's read her mind. Then, instead of just telling Kara how to shift, she places her hand firmly over Kara's to help guide the gearshift down to fourth. Kara's heart skips a beat so suddenly that she nearly crushes the entire shifter through the center of the car.
Lena's touched her a million times before, but for some reason she's getting butterflies; Kara's entire stomach is fluttering while she's at the wheel of a fast-moving death-trap and it's not a great combination at all.
No one told her learning to drive would be this challenging.
x
"What intel did you get from your driving lesson?"
Kara shrugs. She didn't even know Hank knew about that. "I suck at it?"
"I mean from Lena," he says, leaning against the center console. They're at the DEO, and they still don't have any concrete leads on the warehouse robbery. "Do you think she's in on the drug thing."
"Oh, no, I don't think. She's not, probably."
Hank looks at her straight-faced, in that unimpressed way that he's mastered. "You didn't get any intel."
"Okay, but in my defense, driving is really hard," she explains.
Alex laughs. "And so is sitting next to the woman you're in love with."
"That's not a thing," Kara whispers, and then says louder since everyone is staring. "That's not a thing, we're just friends. And I kind of wanted to focus on driving, since I had a human's life in my hands. That's what we do right? Protect humans from aliens."
"No, we do our job," Hank says. "Figure out your feelings, so we can get a lead on this. I don't want anybody getting hurt."
Kara doesn't have to figure out her feelings; she can get a lead on this if she wants.
Which is why she drops by Lena's office as Supergirl later that day.
Lena's alone, so she swoops in and gets right to business. "We need to talk about the break-in the other day at one of your warehouses."
"I assume you talked to Kara," Lena says, looking up from her laptop. "I already told her we were housing banned chemicals, but I had nothing to do with the break-in."
"Yes, she told me," Supergirl says, both hands on her hips. "But... we've got nothing, and there hasn't been any activity since the robbery. Can you give us something else? If you're not in on this, you have to want to catch these guys too."
Lena presses her lips together and tilts her head. Then she sighs in a way that's oddly apprehensive, and Supergirl hates that her mind is questioning the woman that she loves... er, likes. "Let's drop by the site. I can analyze some of the particles left from the weaponry, see if we can get a good idea of what we're working with."
"We already ran it through the DEO database, and there isn't a lot there."
"Yeah, but I might have access to some things that... even secret federal agencies don't know about."
Oh. Supergirl clears her throat and then takes in a deep breath. How's she going to explain this to the DEO without Lena looking suspicious again. Why can't Lena just do normal science. "Wouldn't you want to keep that hidden? Why are you telling me, this doesn't exactly build trust."
Lena stands from her desk, and then puts her hands on it as she leans forward. "I'm telling you because I want to build trust. I'm not the bad girl here, even though you seem hellbent and making me out to be."
"That's not what I'm doing," Supergirl says, defensively.
"Then how come you point a finger at me every chance you get? I never get the benefit of the doubt, despite saving the day. A few times."
"That's confirmation bias," Supergirl says. Crap, she sounds like Snapper. "I mean, you just assume people think you're bad because you're a Luther. When in reality, you've just been involved in some sketchy things."
"You want my help or not? I don't have to offer it." She can tell she's backing Lena into a corner, and it's not good for anyone when Lena's defensive. "Or did you just come here to criticize me?"
"No, sorry. I want your help. I just... let me fly us there?"
Lena doesn't say yes right away and that kind of... hits Supergirl right in the heart. She likes Lena, she does, loves her even. But this job is just messing everything up. Like it always does. She can't do everything at once.
She knows Lena is good, can tell from the way Lena treats Kara. She knows Lena's heart is there, but every step she takes forward as Kara, she just messes over as Supergirl. It's never going to work. She's never going to get Lena to like her if Lena hates half of her.
Which shouldn't even be the focus here. Supergirl shouldn't even be thinking about that. It's always this way — she's either good at her job or good with Lena, never both.
"Seriously, let me take us. I want to trust you, I really do."
"Alright," Lena says. "Well if we're being honest with each other — I have other warehouses I'm storing chemicals in. Bigger than the one that was hit."
x
"Lena said the base of the weaponry they used is state-of-the-art military stuff, but it's modified a bit with alien parts. Like, seems as if we're not working with amateurs here. And they're definitely being funded by someone with resources and money."
Hank hums. "That might suggest government involvement. If it does, we need to figure out how high up it goes."
"But why would the government ban chemicals that it wants," Alex asks. "It seems counterproductive."
"Not if the chemicals are hard to find, and their only means of getting them is from private corporations like L-Corp." Hank moves around the center console and runs a hand over his head. "Forcing them to move the chemicals off-site is perfect for making them disappear."
Supergirl nods. "Yeah, and Lena says she has three additional warehouses, each with a larger number of chemicals, so we probably know what they'll target next."
"Right," Hank agrees. "Right now the play is to set up drones over each warehouse, see if we can catch some illegal activity. For now, keep an eye on Lena. Something tells me she knows even more than she's giving us."
Which is rude, Supergirl thinks. But she knows better than to argue that she thinks Lena is being cooperative, knows they'll just tell her to get her feelings in check again and act as if she has a soft spot for Lena. She sacrifices her relationship with Lena almost every week for DEO purposes, but it doesn't seem to matter.
Maybe Lena's right, maybe they aren't treating her fairly.
x
Kara gets the perfect idea to make it up to Lena. While the drones are monitoring the warehouses, she takes the afternoon off from the DEO to ask Lena on a lunch date. She hates that she's been making Lena feel like crap this whole week (and for many weeks before—because being Supergirl sometimes means being an asshole to her best friend), so the least she can do is treat her to lunch and maybe make her laugh. Brighten up her day.
Maybe she's shit with Lena as Supergirl, but she's always been pretty good with Lena as Kara.
"Lunch, please. It's on me," Kara says, smiling in the most charming way she knows how. Which is probably not that charming at all, but she's trying.
"Don't be ridiculous," Lena says. She shuts her laptop and actually stands from her desk, her smile lighting up the room and Kara's heart. "It's on me. Besides, I feel like I owe you since I've been so rude to Supergirl. I know you two are close."
"You're not rude at all. I mean, she doesn't think you are. I think she gets the position you're in."
Lena takes in a deep breath and bites down on her lip, never breaking eye contact. It's ridiculous how attractive she is. It's ridiculous that Kara's just now starting to pick up on how into Lena she is. It's ridiculous that Kara will never have a chance. "I sure hope so. I'm really trying to work with her on this one."
Kara hooks her fingers in her belt-loops and leans back on her heels. "Well just let me know if she's giving you a hard time, and I'll beat her up for you. You're the nicest person I know."
"Is that so?" Lena's laugh spills out of her, warm and open, and Kara's heart swells to three times its size like she's the grinch on Christmas day. Lena's so beautiful, so gorgeous, so amazing. Kara's definitely not in love at all. "Please don't pick any fights. I've seen you with a black-eye and I'd like it if it didn't happen again."
"That was just an accident," Kara says, folding her arms and pulling at her lip as she smiles. She wishes it could always be this way with Lena, that they never had to discuss break-ins and alien corroboration and illegal activity. Just them hanging out and being happy together. "Promise you don't have to worry about me getting anymore black eyes, alright?"
Lena ducks her head, looks up at Kara through her lashes in that cute way that she does. "You better not break that promise."
x
Lunch goes nicely.
They end up getting Tacos at a new fancy Mexican restaurant, and Kara decides to show off her Googling skills. "So I looked it up, and not all cars are that hard to drive. Some you just put in drive and go."
"Yes," Lena says, smile gushing out of her guiltily. "But it takes like ten minutes to figure out how to drive an automatic, and I thought... I just thought maybe we could use this to hang out."
Kara loves hanging out, especially with Lena. It's the putting her in danger that she hates. But if Lena's into it, she's into it. "No, I think it's cool that I'm learning manual. Feels like I'm in some sort of elite club or something."
"Oh no, don't become one of those," Lena gasps, eyes wide with amusement. "Don't know if we can stay friends."
Kara laughs like she's in on the joke, but she isn't. "One of what?"
"Nothing," Lena laughs, and then she puts her elbows on the table and leans her face into her hands. "So, how's your article going on the warehouse break-ins? Dig up any good intel?"
"You'd be the first to know if I did," Kara says, shoving an entire small Taco in her mouth and effectively making a mess of herself. "These guys are good, like went ghost. Disappeared."
"Yeah, well, I'm sure they'll turn up," Lena shrugs. "Bad guys always do."
x
Bad guys do always show up, Kara thinks. So, it's weird that these guys haven't shown back up yet.
At her next driving lesson she gets good enough at the lot that Lena switches to letting her drive slowly down neighborhood streets. After half an hour of that she gets pretty comfortable with the vehicle, comfortable enough to ask Lena questions that could help the DEO investigation.
"So, you said you had additional warehouses, but they haven't been hit yet. Do you think there's a reason?"
"Yeah," Lena says. Which, okay. She's way more forthcoming with Kara than she is with Supergirl. "I was afraid something like this would happen when I moved the chemicals, so I only made one move public, and the other three warehouses only I know about. I think there issomeone selling me out, just not sure who yet."
Okay, that's maybe a little huge. This entire time the DEO has been monitoring sites that no one knows about. Lena maybe could have spared them the resources, but Kara will play nice.
"Did you tell Supergirl no one knows about them?"
"No," Lena says, and gestures for Kara to make a right turn. "Because once I do, her first idea is going to be to make it known. To set a trap. I told you, I need to prove that I can keep the chemicals secure in my proposal."
"Yeah, but with potential government involvement, is it really that important to please the DEA."
"I need to do everything above the table, Kara. I'm not like my brother. Or my mother."
Right, Kara knows that. It's a fair point. "Yeah, that's... I know that, Lena, okay? But maybe making the warehouses known isn't such a bad idea. These guys can't be up to anything good, and it'd be nice to catch them."
"So you're siding with Supergirl? I should just give everything up every time someone targets me, make no scientific advances? Don't fight back or protect myself?"
"That's not what I meant," Kara says. She wants Lena to protect herself, but she also wants to help the DEO and catch bad guys and make sure people don't get hurt. "It's not about sides, I just want the best outcome."
Lena gestures for her to turn left, and then puts her head in her hand. "Why's the best outcome for everyone else always bad for me? I don't want to seem like I'm complaining, but—"
"No it's fine," Kara cuts in. "You're taking hits. I get it. I know things haven't been the best for you and, historically, you've been extremely accommodating. I know that adds up."
"Yeah, sorry. I know you get that, but Supergirl doesn't. She's so set on her version of doing the right thing, that she'll step on anyone. I mean, I know she has good intentions, but sometimes she doesn't think about other people."
"Hey," Kara says, looking over at Lena and then back at the road quickly. "You're important. You're amazing, and you matter. I know that, and I think she knows that too. I promise."
"I'm so sorry, Kara," Lena whispers. "I hate getting between you and your friend. I love you, you know that, and I don't want to put you in hard spots. But one thing I value about us is how open and honest we are with each other."
Right, honest—the one thing Kara hasn't been, and the main reason her relationship with Lena is precarious at best if she can't keep her secret to herself. Part of her wishes she could tell Lena, just get it out there so she can stop living so cautiously around her, so she can stop having to find ways to sneak off whenever Lena needs protection. Part of her brain keeps telling her it's best if she just comes out, but the bigger part—the right part—knows that Lena wouldn't be happy about it.
Which is probably why it's best to just change the subject.
"Hey, it's getting a little dark, maybe it's time we head in?"
Lena doesn't respond right away, stays focused on the road ahead of them. Kara's quick to start formulating some sort of apology for earlier, but then Lena finally says, "Turn right at the next stop sign. We need to get on the main road."
"Alrighty. What for?" Kara asks, already signaling so she can make the turn. If Lena thinks she's ready for the main road, then she trusts her. "You want to do night driving?"
"We're being followed, but I didn't want to panic you," Lena responds, so simply Kara nearly doesn't register what she said, and then.
Oh.
Okay, crap. Okay.
It didn't really work, since Kara is absolutely panicking now—even more so now that she actually notices the black SUV behind them—but she reminds herself she's always been calm under pressure, always plays it cool. She always figures something out, keeps her head on her shoulders. Honestly, her first instinct is to fly them out of here, get them to safety as soon as possible. But maybe there's a better way, one that doesn't involve her losing her friend. "What do we do? Walk me through it."
"Just stay calm," Lena says, slipping her hand over Kara's on the gearshift. "Keep heading this way, I can get us to somewhere safe close by. You just have to drive, and you're good at that. So it'll be okay."
Right, yeah. Driving. She's better at flying, but Lena makes it seem so simple. So Kara keeps on the road like Lena suggested.
"Who do you think it is? Why are they following us?"
"This is an L-Corp car," Lena says. "Probably tracked me here. Most likely same guys from the warehouse."
That's not good, Kara barely escaped those guys when she was Supergirl, and now she's just Kara and she's trapped in a car. She feels a bit helpless all of a sudden, but they're sticking to this road and Lena said the safe place is close. Kara just needs to get them there, and then she can slip off and come back as Supergirl to get rid of these guys.
"Alright, what next then?" she asks as they reach a mandatory turn section, hand gripped tight enough around the steering-wheel that she's starting to crush it.
"We're going to have to go left down this street, but it's pretty dark and wooded, so, this isn't the place where we want them to catch up to us. We have to go faster."
Kara can go faster. She goes fast all the time when she's flying. Shouldn't be too much different in a car. She switches gears and picks up speed, and then the heat gets sucked out of her body and the car and the atmosphere in general, when the SUV behind them also picks up speed.
Even more speed than she is.
They make it half-way down the road and it starts to look an awful lot like the SUV intends to crash into them, but Kara doesn't let herself believe it until the SUV bumper smacks into the tail of their car and Lena knocks her head hard against the glass window.
And then Kara snaps out of whatever delusion she must have been in to think it was safe to handle this situation in a car that she's only spent a couple hours figuring out how to use. She should definitely be flying them to safety right now, the better alternative.
Kara goes to reach for her seatbelt, and then the tire of their car clips something, just as the SUV smashes into them again. And suddenly everything is in slow-motion as they're flying through the air. It takes half a second for Kara to realize Lena's half of the car is flying full speed into the side of a tree. It takes another half a second for her to be out of her seat belt and curled around Lena.
The car hits the tree and Kara squeezes Lena too tight, knows she does from the way Lena grunts. And then her heart skips thirty-seven beats just thinking about the fact that Lena's hurt. This is what she didn't want. She never wanted this to happen, never wanted Lena to get hurt. She should have flown Lena out of this situation the moment the SUV showed up, because her secret—and even their friendship—was never more important than Lena's life.
This is bad, really bad.
Lena's shaking so so hard and breathing way too fast, and everything's too close, too dark, too crushed for Kara to assess her condition. So she's flying through the roof of the car and toward Lena's apartment before she can think too hard about the fact that Lena knows she's Supergirl now. That Lena's going to hate her forever and they'll probably lose their friendship. That she messed up and risked Lena's life just so she could selfishly keep her around.
She's flying faster than she's ever flown before, keeps picking up speed, so it's only a minute before she's flying through the door of the terrace of Lena's apartment.
Kara sets Lena on the floor as soon as she's safely inside, starts assessing the extent of her injuries. Thankfully, Lena looks fine for the most part. She's scratched up a bit, cuts on her eyebrow, but X-ray vision shows she's not bleeding internally, or suffering from anything too serious or traumatic. Worst thing she has going on are her ribs, which are definitely bruised, and possibly fractured.
But the most important part is that she looks fine, everything looks fine—except for the fact that she's not moving. Other than her breathing, she's completely motionless.
It hits Kara, then. Now that the adrenaline is wearing off and her blood's pumping slower, it occurs to her that she doesn't exactly know what to say in this situation because she hadn't planned on coming out to Lena any time soon. Reality is setting in now, it's setting in fast and hitting her like a kryptonite bullet to the back.
They were just attacked and she doesn't know what these criminals want or who they are and she solar-flared a few days ago (which tells her she's obviously in over her head) and Lena's definitely involved with something dangerous. But none of that matters right now, none of that is at the forefront of her mind—because Lena's looking at Kara like she can't fathom this is even happening to her.
Of all the terrible things going on in her life right now, this is absolutely the worst.
"You died, I was so sure of it," Lena whispers suddenly, like she's saying it to no one in particular. She climbs off the floor, grimacing as she clutches her ribs, and then she walks over so she's standing directly in front of Kara. Kara swallows hard past the lump in her throat, and tries to think of the best thing to say that will do the least damage to their friendship. But she comes up with nothing, absolutely nothing. "You wrapped around me and the car hit the tree so hard and it's—you're—"
"I'm Supergirl," Kara says, with her currently very limited mental and vocal functioning.
Lena shakes her head, like those aren't the words she was looking for. "You're alive."
Then she scrunches up her nose and tilts her head, and maybe it was shock or disbelief, but Kara can clearly see the moment that Lena processes this all and realization sets in on her features.
This is it, Kara thinks. This is when it gets really bad.
And then in the most surprising turn of events, Lena hugs her — hugs her tight, and shoves her face in Kara's hair. And it's only then that Kara lets herself breathe for the first time since they entered the apartment.
She's Supergirl. Lena knows she's Supergirl, and she's hugging her. Kara wasn't prepared to come out (not right now, not like this), and she doesn't know what to say, but if they're hugging things have to be going good. Right?
She hopes it's going good, heart is beating so fast, she's afraid to hug back. Afraid she might hurt Lena.
"I'm sorry," Kara says, and her voice breaks in a way that she hates. She doesn't want it to break, she wants to be strong. "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot, I should've done this differently, I just—"
Kara hunches her shoulders so high, she accidentally knocks Lena's head away. Which was a mistake, because Lena pulls away entirely, and she looks upset — really really upset. Looks likes she's feeling a thousand things at once right now, and Kara just hopes one of those things is forgiving.
"I'm just... I feel happy that you're alive right now, don't get me wrong, but—" Lena clenches her jaw, and suddenly her features are cold and her face is impossible to read. "I'm also so... angry that you've been lying to me this whole time. And I don't know what to do with both of those feelings clashing inside of me."
"I'm sorry," Kara says, and she steps forward, but neither her brain or her mouth can produce anything else. So, she just repeats, "I'm sorry."
She's watching her world crumble in front of her, and every cell in her body is tensing up. She's never run out of words before, but right now she's got nothing. The only thing she knows is that she messed up, and all she can say is sorry. This should have been different.
"I didn't want you to find out this way, Lena. I'm so... sorry. Crap, I don't know what else to say." Kara adjusts her glasses, and then she just takes them off entirely. "I messed up, but you—this—means so much to me, and I didn't want you to hate me."
This isn't going how she wants it to go, she can feel it. She's not saying any of the things she needs to say. She's not doing this right, and she's going to lose Lena forever because she can't get it together. She just wants to get it together. She wants to be smart enough to know what to do, she wants her heart to be calm, she wants her mouth to say something remotely okay.
She keeps looking and looking and searching for the right words to say, hoping they come out right when she tries to say them. She's sort of praying for a break-through, over and over and over on repeat—please say something good please say something good please don't mess this up please. And then her neurons must short-circuit or something, because she opens her mouth and actually says,"I'm in love with you. I know that I—I don't—I don't know."
This isn't going well. Those aren't the right words. Those are the wrong words, very very wrong words.
Lena stops breathing for like, five whole seconds.
Crap.
"I mean, I hope that—even if you walk away right now, I want you to know that I love you. If that's okay."
Lena's expression doesn't change, remarkably, despite Kara making an ass of herself. But she folds her arms after a minute, and then unfolds them, looks around the room, before she looks back at Kara. Her eyes are intense, feel hotter than heat vision burning into Kara's skin. Kara isn't really sure what she's looking for, so she tries to hold contact and not get too twitchy.
Finally, Lena nods slowly and says, "Yeah, sure — I. That's okay," and then she's hugging Kara again.
Kara messed this up, she knows she did. Lena's hugging her but it's not the same, and she can feel that all the way down to her bones. She's not sure if their friendship can even survive something like this, let alone the possibility of them ever having something more. She should have come out sooner, probably, should have trusted Lena. Lena's always trusted Kara.
She really, really messed this up, but she's not going to mess this case up. Someone tried to hurt Lena and she's going to find them. This isn't going to happen again.