Title: Holding On
By: Jessica
Pairing: Eric/Calleigh
Rating: T
Timeline: Post 8x23 - Time Bomb.
Summary: And then she smiles to herself, knowing that while it might take a bit of time to win back all of her trust, Eric doesn't have to do anything to win back her heart - that's something he's never lost...and something he plans to forever hold on to.
"I want you to know that I didn't have the wire on when we were at home. Never."
Standing beside him on the pier, Calleigh nods softly. "I know. You told me."
Eric chuckles lightly, resting his elbows on the railing of the pier. "Yeah. But you didn't believe me," he points out.
It's not an accusation; instead, it's light, almost teasing, and Calleigh smiles, gazing at the deep blue of the water below. "I, uh, wasn't sure what to believe," she admits, reaching up to brush a lock of hair back from her face. It's useless, though – the gentle breeze blowing in from the sea coaxes it quickly out from behind her ear again. "I shouldn't have doubted you though, Eric."
At that, he shakes his head, taking the moment to gaze unabashedly at the woman beside him. Away from the lab, away from the stresses of the day, she looks finally at peace. Relaxed. Not to mention beautiful – he hadn't been simply trying to flatter her with his statement before.
He loves the way the breeze teases her golden tresses, perhaps loves it even more so as he watches her occasionally try to tame it. There's just something almost magical about the way the strands dance gently around her face, framing porcelain skin, slightly rosy cheeks, eyes of the deepest green. No, he certainly hadn't been lying – given the choice between the two, he'd choose her over the ocean every time. Or any other view, for that matter.
It's not even a mildly difficult decision, even with the majestic view they are treated to here. Shimmering cerulean seas stretch for miles and miles before meeting the sky at the far horizon to one side; to the other, the blue fades into the soft white breakers that lap upon the far shore. In one direction there is nothing but blue; in the other, the skyline of the city paints the horizon, and here they are right between the two on this pier. It's beautiful, so beautiful – after all, there's a reason why Eric has always loved the open sea. But as far as he's concerned, that beauty is truly no match for the petite blonde beside him, the one who holds his heart.
The number of times that he's almost lost that leaves his heart aching, and he inhales deeply, breathing in the sweet scent of Calleigh mixed with the salty ocean air – it's an intoxicating combination. "I can't blame you for doubting," he says finally, directing his own eyes seaward. "I…wasn't exactly very open with you." Hesitating, he furrows his brow, flicking his tongue over his lips. "And I'm sorry for that." He glances to her, waits for her to meet his eyes. "Natalia was right – you deserved to know. I just…didn't want to involve you in it. It almost killed me – I would've never forgiven myself if something had happened to you because of all of this."
He doesn't have to say anymore than that. His words chill her, and suddenly she's plagued with thoughts of what could have happened instead – so many scenarios, but all with the same ending. If anything had been different, it's highly likely that he wouldn't be standing beside her now – it's highly likely that he would never stand beside her again. "I think it's best that I didn't know," she murmurs, closing her eyes in an attempt to drive away the unwelcome visions playing out in her mind. "If I'd known, I wouldn't have been upset that you'd lied to me."
There's no need to finish the thought, and Calleigh's not sure she could even if she had to. If she'd known, she wouldn't have followed him. She wouldn't have distracted him. She wouldn't have delayed his meeting with Rebecca.
And he would've been right next to that car.
It sickens her, the thought of Eric, her Eric, laying immobile and soulless on a cold slab in the autopsy theater; it's a vision she never wants to see play out. If the thought is so gruesome with him beside of her, she knows she'd completely fall apart if she ever had to witness the real thing.
Needing desperately to reassure herself that he's there, that he's real and alive and with her, Calleigh reaches out over the railing, gently slipping her hand into his. Their fingers lace together, and, sensing the reassurance she needs, Eric squeezes lightly. It's enough, and Calleigh sighs quietly, fixing her eyes determinedly on their joined hands. "I don't know what I would've done…"
"You don't have to find out," he says immediately, his dark eyes serious for a moment. Then, he allows a grin to come out across his lips; to his delight, it coaxes a smile from Calleigh as well. "I hope you don't think you can get rid of me that easily," he quips, and finally, finally Calleigh giggles – there's no sweeter sound to him than that. "Seriously. A bullet to the brain, an angry mob of Russians, everything that happened with my father in the 'Glades…not to mention everything that's happened to you."
"Stop, Eric," Calleigh requests, though her smile remains.
He gives her his best, most disarming grin. "I'm just proving that it takes a lot more than what's been thrown at me – at us – to get rid of me." He pauses for a beat, offering a playful wink. "You're stuck with me."
Calleigh grins, her eyes sparkling as her gaze meets his. "Yeah?"
Eric nods. "It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you," he insists sagely, a knowing, teasing gleam in his dark eyes.
And at that, Calleigh can't help but give in to a full burst of laughter. "I hope you don't expect me to believe that those are your words," she says, amusement dancing in her beautiful eyes. "Plagiarism will get you even less tonight than flattery," she teases, referring to their earlier exchange.
He smirks. "Not plagiarizing. Just borrowing some wise words from a little song by Toto."
She shakes her head lightly; just moments before, she'd been filled with thoughts of all that could've happened to Eric today; now, she's smiling, laughing, her entire mood lifted – all because of him. If ever there was any doubt as to her feelings for this man, they're gone now. She truly doesn't know what she would do without him, and silently she sends a quick prayer skyward, hoping that his words are true and she doesn't ever have to find out.
Sighing contentedly, Calleigh again attempts to brush those stray, unruly strands of blonde away from her face – she really isn't a fan of the constant tickling along her cheek, despite how much she loves the sweetness of the ocean breeze against her skin. "Well, lucky for you, I've always had a soft spot for that particular song," she drawls, giving him a playful wink of her own.
"I know." And he does – it's one of just a million little things he knows about her. Knows, and loves about her. "It's the truth, too. You want me gone, you're gonna have to do something pretty extravagant to get rid of me," he teases.
She's not sure how he makes her feel like this, all the time. She's not even sure what the best word to describe that feeling is…the best Calleigh can come up with, though, is bubbly. Eric Delko leaves the unflappable Calleigh Duquesne feeling bubbly. Bubbly, giddy, just bursting with happiness, and that's nothing she's ever really had before. "Well, sorry to disappoint you," she drawls, shifting her body toward him on the pier, "but I don't want to get rid of you." Not now, not ever. "I've, uh, kind of gotten attached…"
"Good, because I plan to hold on to you for quite some time." Coupled with his reply, the smile that graces his lips leaves her heart flip-flopping in her chest – oh, if only he knew what that smile always does to her. But then, as much about her as he does know, Calleigh realizes that he probably knows that too. And she's okay with that. More than okay, really. She likes that he knows all the little things that no one else knows, and before him, she'd never thought she'd be comfortable being known quite that well by anyone. She loves the little inside jokes, little comments shared between them with knowing smiles, little comments that leave everyone else mildly confused, completely out of the loop. Calleigh likes feeling as though she and Eric have their own little world, a world in which there exists no one else but the two of them. And she loves being there with him, in his arms, her head tucked beneath his chin.
Perfection – that's the word. Being with him, knowing he's such an integral, irreplaceable part of her life…for the first time in her life, Calleigh finally feels whole.
Sensing the depth of her thoughts, Eric reaches out to her, drawing a tender knuckle along her cheek. "What are you thinking about?" he murmurs, losing himself in her beautiful eyes, those gorgeous green eyes he wants nothing more than to wake up to every morning for the rest of his life. The light, innocent touch ends up being not nearly enough; slowly Eric shifts his wrist, choosing instead to cup her cheek with his palm. Almost imperceptibly, she leans into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed for just a second.
Just a bit longer she waits, simply enjoying the moment. "You," she says finally, feeling almost overwhelmed by the liberation of being with him without any walls up between them. "And me. Us."
Eric hums softly, nodding in acknowledgment. "I think about that all the time," he confesses, though it's never been a secret to either of them. "I think about you all the time."
Her heart skipping a beat, Calleigh tries to play it cool. She lifts a would-be questioning brow, flashing him a playful grin. "Trying the flattery again, Officer Delko?" she drawls, slowly moving closer to him. It's become the most natural motion in the world to her, and she certainly doesn't try to stifle it now – instinctively, she snakes her arms around his neck; her smile widens when, just moments later, his arms wrap around her waist.
"Is it still flattery if it's the truth?" he posits smoothly, briefly touching his forehead against hers.
She giggles, ready with a quick reply of her own. "If I didn't know better, I might think you were trying to get me to take you home with me," she teases.
Eric smirks. "I don't have to convince you to do that," he replies playfully. "We do live together…technically, I'm going home with you anyway."
"Unless I lock you out."
"That's what my key is good for."
He winks, and Calleigh can't help but laugh. "I suppose that's true," she relents, giving Eric a mildly stern look as his fingers lightly knead her hips – they are, after all, still in public. "You might be sleeping on the couch tonight though…"
"Can I ask you to join me?" His smile morphs into a rather convincing pout, one that Calleigh can never deny. "I can't sleep without you anymore."
She suspects there's a certain amount of truth behind his words…if only because they're true for her too. But rather than let on, Calleigh tilts her head, nibbling at her lower lip to give the impression that, behind those emerald eyes, there's some intense deliberation going on. "I suppose we can work something out," she says finally, and Eric grins, knowing he's won. Then again, Calleigh never really had any real intention of making him sleep on the couch – alone, at least. It might take a bit of time to regain her trust, but that didn't mean they couldn't share the comfort of each other's arms in the process.
Again, it's as though he reads her mind like a book. Leaning in, he presses a chaste kiss to her cheek, letting his lips linger for a short moment. The mood shifts so seamlessly again, from flirty and playful back to the seriousness that had cloaked them earlier. "You know how much you mean to me, right?" he whispers, gazing into her eyes. "I know I've made some mistakes; I know there have been some things that – that I probably should've told you, but I didn't, for whatever reason. But that doesn't change what I feel for you, what I've felt for you for years now." He hesitates, giving his words time to permeate the slight distance between them – this isn't a confession he would ever give lightly. "And I want you to know that, no matter how long it takes to win back your trust…" And again he pauses, though this time it's more for his benefit than for hers. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll do whatever it takes, because that is how much you mean to me. I refuse to lose you."
If Calleigh were a crier, Eric's words would have tears in her eyes. Even so, she's forced to swallow around the lump of emotion that's quickly formed in her throat. The sincerity of his words touch her, but even more than that, it's the words that he doesn't say. And she knows he doesn't say them for her benefit; he doesn't say them because while he's been ready for a long time, he's never been quite sure that she too was there. She wants to be there, but both of them know that today…it simply isn't the day for that. Soon, Calleigh thinks. Soon, when there are no trust issues and lingering hurt between them, when the fear and heartache of today are little more than a tiny blip on their radar.
She knows she's in love with him. It's just not the right day for such an admission, and to know that Eric senses that, to know that he understands that…it means more to her than he'll ever really know. For now, the words that are said convey just enough. "You won't lose me," she replies softly, the subtle cadence of her voice mingling with the gentle rush of the sea. "As long as I don't lose you."
He smiles, presses a tender kiss to the tip of her nose; it's such a tender gesture that Calleigh's heart clenches in her chest. "Well, I already told you that I'm not going anywhere. And I mean that."
Calleigh nods softly before offering the only response she can muster at the moment. Tilting her neck upward, she gently tugs Eric closer, capturing his lips in a slow, soft kiss. It's sweet, so innocent, yet so perfect, and despite the fact that their lips are barely brushing, just lightly meshing, it's enough to draw a delectable shiver along the length of Calleigh's spine. She feels the goosebumps arise upon her arms, and for a moment it amuses her that such a gentle kiss should have such a visceral effect upon her. But then again, whether soft and sweet, or heated and passionate, there's nothing quite like the feel of Eric's lips against her own – if she could kiss him forever, she would.
She's not sure exactly how much time passes, but it still feels much too soon when Eric pulls away from her. For a moment, her eyes remain closed; she savors the lingering sensation of his lips against hers, slowly draws her tongue innocently over her lips, smiling at the taste of him that remains. And only when he softly murmurs her name do her eyes flutter open. Their eyes lock, and Calleigh hums quietly, feeling so many beautiful emotions but only giving a name to one – contentment.
Slowly she remembers their surroundings – they still stand on the pier, among other couples and a few singles, but in public nonetheless. And Calleigh, while she's grown more and more comfortable about it with Eric, she still can't say that such public displays of affection are her thing. And so, with a smile she slowly extricates herself from his arms, her hands quickly finding his. "Ready to go home?" she asks softly, playfully tugging at his hands.
He smiles then, part of him in silent awe that she would still want him to come home with her, after the events of the day. "You?" he asks, leaning close once more to brush his lips over her forehead. She sighs, slowly nodding, and without another word she releases one hand, making sure to keep a firm hold on his other hand.
With that, she turns and falls into step beside him, beginning the trek back to the car. And when she feels their steps are carrying them much too quickly, Calleigh doesn't hesitate to slow them, wanting to savor every last moment of this – every last moment of his hand in hers, of Eric beside her beneath the warmth of the sun and against a backdrop of beautiful blue ocean.
And then she smiles to herself, knowing that while it might take a bit of time to win back all of her trust, Eric doesn't have to do anything to win back her heart - that's something he's never lost...and something he plans to forever hold on to.
Just as Calleigh intends to forever hold on to him.
