I don't suppose. (By Orial)

I don't suppose,

Twilight pondered pausing momentarily, before continuing to transcribe on the parchment

I don't suppose you'll ever forgive me for this…

she had barley composed the words before her already puffy eyes began to trickle with a translucent liquid, which then collided with the paper causing the ink to smear into dollops of purple and black. As hard as this was, she had to do it, through all the pain, she had to let them know… Didn't she? Once again placing her quill to the page she continued;

I can't write what I'm going to do-

"No.. I can't write that… can I?" Twilight ushered aloud, it wasn't like her to be this displaced, this unorganised. Twilight reached her hoof to her cheek, her tender fur reacting in shivers, she had rubbed her eyes so profusely she had began to tear away the coat leaving patches raw, and a painful red, even some crimson had found its way out of the pink skin, slowly drizzling down her lavender cheek.

You'll find out in your own time, or-

- will already know. I just thought I'd let you, no… Tell you, it isn't your fault, there is nothing you could do past tense of course. It was my decision to make, and although I don't- No- I Can't let you know why, I just can't, but I don't want you-

Twilight whimpered, the sound echoed around the dully lit castle, bouncing off every darkened crystal. "I have to tell them, I don't want them living on their lives always wondering 'why'" She found herself speaking out loud again, only this time in a much more hushed and broken voice, only just breaking through her sobs.

You can't live your life asking "why", you have to face your life with a smile… I…I… I did this because, one day, I'll have to live with out you all, and that would be such a cruel and dystopian Equestria, well at least to me…

Twilight allowed her hoof to droop, leaving a large black indent on the parchment. It never had crossed her mind, when she did die. What would happen? Would she be forced to watch her friends live on any way. Wait for the day they'd finally greet her in the obis would she really- -cross from one nightmare to another. No! She wasn't thinking logically, of course that wouldn't happen, then again… This one thought sat in her mind for minutes on end, gradually opening doors to other thoughts. Soon her mind was a maze of questions. Could she really hurt her friends in this way? Would they miss her? Should I just throw away Celestia's gift? Would her mentor view her in the same light, as strong willed if she just gave up? She had never failed a single test, so why was the one test that everypony else flew through so difficult for her? Why was she ending her eternal life anyway, for a selfish need for friends? "No!" Twilight finally let out, jumping back at the volume of her own voice, her face grimaced as the word echoed around her. "I can't" she said in a hushed tone "I just can't-"

Twilight turned her soft discouraged eyes rest on the parchment that lay before her, she let her pink aura of magic ravel around it. Slowly levitating it into the air, she placed one of her dainty hoofs to the crystal floor below, only to be welcomed by a sharp chilling sensation and a loud "clop" noise that endlessly travelled around the halls of her lonely castle. She continued to place all four of her hoofs on the floor, and slowly made her way towards the bathroom (still carrying the letter in front of her brow, using it to dimly lit light to light her path)

Once her hoof twisted the knob to the door, it let out a large click to indicate it had opened successfully. Placing the parchment down, Twilight gradually lit a couple of candles brightening the small room greatly. She sighed, as her muzzle crumpled at the sight of the parchment, it was both stained with inky blacks and purples and a- -dark crimson colour, Twilight used her magic to reluctantly screw up the note and place it with in the small bin beside the sink. Raising her head she was surprisingly met with an almost unfamiliar sight, sure it was her own reflection, however it was both horribly disfigured by the lack of sleep, and the raw patches she had created through her stress. Breathing out heavily she grasped a cloth with her magenta magic, slowly making it damp under the faucet, and dabbing her face gently, soon enough her face was almost recognisable, besides the occasional clump of missing fur, which in any case her magic could fix with ease, however before her horn could sputter any of the magnificent aura her eyes were met with the letter laying crumpled at the bottom of the bin, she couldn't bring herself to reach down and pull it out. How could she after the ordeal she had just been through?

Twilight's horn emitted a purple light, that bounced around the small room, she had heard the door behind her open once more, the only sound to follow

"I don't suppose you heard all of that spike?"